Moving - Salt Lake City,UT

As the wife of a career military man (now retired), I've had loads of practice with moving with kids. One advantage I do have that you don't is that for my kids, it's just a normal part of life. But it has always been harder for my son. I read the other responses, and I agree that a marketing campaign for the new location is a good place to start. Since your move is a year or two in the future, would it be possible to take a vacation trip to the state you'd be moving to? It would give him a chance to look around a little, and you a chance to play up the cultural/recreational advantages of the new location.

Since it sounds like a temporary move, I'd also emphasize to him that it's not forever. (If you can honestly say that - if there's a chance that the move is going to be permanent, don't go there.) Of course, at his age a few years seems like forever. Show him all the different ways to keep up with his friends - camera phone, social networking, blogging, etc. Promise him vacation trips back to Utah (and be prepared to honor that promise).

And the toughest part - your son is probably feeling powerless in the situation, which may be the root of his trying to insist that he will not move. And he IS powerless in this situation - it is his parents' choice, not his. So try to find a way to give him a few choices. Listen to his input about where to live, what schools look good to him, etc. Ask him to help with some of the decision-making for the move, such as what to take, what to sell, what to store, etc. If he chooses to sell some of his stuff, let him keep the money. Offer him the opportunity to get involved in new recreational and social activities in the new place. (This support could include the purchase of new athletic equipment, lessons, club membership, etc. - for example, I got my daughter to fell better about an impending move with the promise of riding lessons, since we were moving to a horsey place. Then her bother and I joined her in learning to ride, thus turning it into a family experience.) He is also old enough to understand that his happiness depends on HIS choice of attitude (even though he won't like hearing about it from his parents). Acknowledge that he feels frustrated or sad about the move, but also let him know that he controls whether these emotions rule his experience of the move.

Good luck.

Do you know what state you will move to? If so start researching it for fun facts, activities, history etc. You have to get him excited about it. If he senses you aren't , which it sounds like you aren't too thrilled, then he'll feel it. Will your 18 yr old move too, or will she stay in Utah, that could also weigh heavily if your son thinks his sis is staying behind. Good luck, statistically moving is in the top 3 of american stresses.

Do they sell any books on transitioning a move for children? I don't know what to say because I remember being adamant about not moving when we were suppose to move from SC to jersey when I was 12. Maybe you could talk to him and reassure him that he will make cool friends at the new place too. Are there perks at the other end that affect him that you could tell him (nearby pool, park, roller coaster park, etc)? It's still a ways away (1-2 years) so you don't necessarily have to talk a lot about the subject now. Maybe when you find out where your going to go you could vaca there before hand? Are one of you in the military or something, why do you have to move in the next 1-2 years? Just curious cuz it seems like a long way away to know your going to have to move.

Your move is pretty far off. I wouldn't mention it for a while. Then, like the other person said, do research and present interesting things about the new place. Also, make it clear that you have to move and he doesn't have a choice.

Make the transition as smooth as possible. My husband was an Army brat and moved a lot. The attitude of the parents goes a long way in making a move pleasant/tolerable for kids. I'd do some internet research on moving with kids and transitioning to a new place with kids -- you'll find a lot of useful information.

However, moving is very stressful so keep an eye on your kids for signs of stress. We just moved in October and our 3.5 year old had some problems at first, but they dissipated quickly -- we just gave her a lot of reassurance and set the house up as quickly as possible. We put a positive spin on moving and now she is fine; she loves our new place.

Good luck.

When I had to move to another state, I looked up somethings about where I would be going to online. I tried to find the things that my son would enjoy, national parks, etc.. I even looked up the stores nearby the town we would be in and found a chucky cheeses. We made it into a fun thing to do looking stuff up together and talking about it. At first it was hard to get him into it, but after a while he got used to the idea and didn't even want to stay anymore. Im not saying it will be easy, it may be harder for you because of his friends being left behind, but maybe you can show him how he can communicate on the internet with them still, I wish you luck God bless.....