Moving - Dayton,OH

Updated on January 11, 2012
B.S. asks from Dayton, OH
11 answers

My daughter is finishing up her tenth grade year and my husband has changed jobs due to the poor economy. However, it is out of town.
In order for us to be a family again, we would have to sell our home and move to where he is and start all over again. I would like to stay apart and let my daughter finish her last two high school years here. My husband thinks that that is unnecessary and that i should immediately sell our home or at least try to, and the move for her 11th and 12th years. My question is this, how important is it that we let her finish our her high school at one place? I think its very important and my husband says that it is not as important as i am making it out to be. Please help!! Am I being unreasonable?

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N.H.

answers from Dayton on

You are not being unreasonable but let me give another point of view. My family moved the summer before my senior year of high school. My parents made me move with them to keep the family together. At the time I was very angry. But now as an adult and mother, I'm glad they made me move. I'm glad I had that year with my family. After I graduated from HS, I went away to college, interned all around the country and after college got a job in a different state. I'm very glad I had that last year with my family.

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G.B.

answers from Dayton on

In the grand scheme of things, it's probably not that important to have her finish hs where she is. I'd rather have my family together than sacrifice her father being with her the last two years you have to instill your values before she goes out on her own.

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

This would be a good time to make the move...too many people are so afraid to change schools...please....it is in the interest of your family....children need to learn how to face these important life changes....it is more important to keep your family together, and she will have two years left to adjust....expect it....this is how kids learn to cope with life...
Something that far too many parents are reluctant to help their children do...

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. I would give your daughter a vote in the situation, but let her know the final decision rests with mom and dad. That way everyone knows the rationale behind the final decision. Besides I am sure each of you have a different aspect you can bring to the discussion. I don't think there is a wrong answer if it is a family decision.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

I went to 3 different high schools and here's my take.

Ask your daughter. Is she involved in sports and school activities that may be difficult for her to be a part of if you move? If so then it may be more important to stay put. I know that I never had time to get involved in high school activities because I was never in one place long enough. I still regret that. Friends are another matter though, I moved about 45 minutes away, and still saw my friends, and made new, so that was a bonus. I'd say that as long as the move isn't terribly far the friend thing can be worked out and probably doesn't matter much.

But it isn't really a matter of how important you or dad think it is, you need to know how important it is to her. Maybe being with her dad means more than the rest of it. Two years is a long time, and paying for two homes is going to cost you.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

My family moved when I was in 10th grade and it was an awesome experience for me. Yes, it is a bit difficult, but let's face it, big changes are coming for your daughter in the next couple of years, anyway. If she only had one year of school left, I might agree with you, but I'm on your husband's side. This will also be a good chance for her to learn how to make new friends before she goes off to college.

The most important lesson to teach your daughter is that family comes first.

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

I am in this situation right now! Ultimately, it is up to you and your husband to make the decision but I would definitely discuss it with your daughter and at least see how she feels. Maybe she'll want to move, who knows. Plus, would you even be able to sell right now?

With my situation, I have TWO children in high school; my husband was laid off for a whole year before finding a job that is four hours away in another state. He has a cheap apartment and comes home almost every weekend. I was not going to pull my children out of school - high school seems to be the hardest on any child - in my opinion. We have been uprooted two times already in the past and I was not going to go thru it again. My children did NOT want to move; nor did I. I am quite capable of taking care of our house, although we have a huge yard that I'm not thrilled with; but if I am able to sell, I would prefer to get something smaller and stay here before I would move out of state.

So, in answer to your question - NO, you are NOT being unreasonable! Yes, it IS important, if it's important to your daughter! Good luck!!!

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J.R.

answers from Columbus on

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Is your daughter involved in a lot of things at the school she goes to? This would make a very big difference. Include her in the decision. Is she the only child this impacts? What school would she be going to? Are they close enough you can open enroll? There are many things to consider and perhaps a discussion with the 3 of you would be a good idea.

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M.N.

answers from Bloomington on

I think that it is important to find out what your daughter's feelings are on the situation. If it is REALLY important to her to stay then you should discuss it. If she doesn't really care one way or the other then let her finish out this year and go ahead and move.

If she is only nervous about starting a new school then she could always look into online classes and finish high school that way.

All in all I would talk to her first and see what she is thinking and her reasons behind that.

Good luck!! Congrats on your husband's new job.

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

every child is different. For every good story there is a negative story As another mom has said it depends on how involved your child is in school. Also you could do the move gradually to make sure you are making the right decision. Either way support within the family unit is critical.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

I would definitely NOT rush out and move. There's no telling how secure your husband's new job is. I have heard MANY stories about people uprooting and moving for a job that didn't last long, for one reason or another.

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