Mother VS. Babysitter

I never fed cereal from a bottle to either of my girls. I feel the same, you are teaching them to eat something new and in a new way. I agree with a previous post- let her know that if a certain amount of time has passed to just end the feeding rather than using a different method. I wouldnt think she would mind this request at all. Instead of a ceral bottle, she can make a milk bottle- no problem. Consistency is key for babies, so doing something totally different at the sitters may interfere with how you do it at home. Good Luck to you!

H.,
This is your child and you should not be afraid to say something. I do in-home care, and I work with my parents on what they are doing at home. I would ask her agian to feed your little one and if she doesn't, find someone that will. You are paying her...right.
L.

Excuse me for expressing a different view. I thought that's what this website was about. I apologize if I offended anyone.

H.,

I am the mother of 4 children and have a home daycare as well. I would never feed a child out of a bottle. I did when my oldest was a baby (she is 20 now) but back then it was "ok". I didn't feed my other three cereal until they were 4-6 months old and it was on a spoon. Like someone else said, that is why you start with cereal, to get them to eat food and learn how. Also, being a day care provider myself, you are able to tell yours that you do not want your child fed out of a bottle for anything but formula. If you have to put it in writing and make a copy to keep for yourself and give her the other one. As for it to be put with her records. And if she is doing what she is required by the state, then you should be filling out a monthly feeding schedule for your child. So put on that paper that you want her fed cereal and how much and on a spoon and not a bottle. Then it is on record for the state to see. If she won't comply you can call the state and tell them she is not abiding by your desires for how your child eats. If she is not registered with the sate I would think twice about keeping your child there because that means no one is regulating how she does things. Just my thoughts. Hope it helps.

T.

Hi H.,
I have an in-home daycare as well. I read some of the other posts and wanted to post since I felt like some people just assumed the worst in your provider which I didn't feel was fair. This is a person that you feel comfortable with and is a very loving person to your child. She obviously wasn't hiding doing this but explained to your mom that during that day, she made a decision based on the circumstances to feed your baby cereal with the bottle. Im assuming she volunteered this information because she knew how you felt and wanted to keep everything out in the open, she didn't hide it from you. If you are concerned about it, there is a really easy way to go about it. Mention it to her and remind her of what you would like to see, talk to her the same way you would like someone to approach you and see how she responds. If there are no circumstances that you feel that would make it o.k. tell her that. Tell her just to give her a bottle until she has more time to sit down and feed her. Parenting styles are so different from one person to the next and being able to communicate is so important to building that good relationship with your child's caregiver so that when differences do appear you are able to handle it together. Good luck. A.

It's your child - you should be making the decision for her, not the sitter and your sitter should honor your request. I had a simular situation when it came time for whole milk. My son did not get off the bottle until 14 months. He drank whole milk in his bottle. When he finally got off the bottle and started getting it in a cup, he refused to drink it. He wanted it in his bottle. He is now three and I still cannot get him to drink milk. So what I am trying to say is that if you give her cereal in her bottle she might associate it with her bottle and not want to eat it on the spoon. I know that your daughter is only 4 months but at that age, they know their like/dislikes and will let you know it. Hope this helps.

I'm not sure cereal out of a bottle is chocking hazard?? Never heard that cause Dr Brown's makes nipples just for cereal feedings!! My two I feed cereal out of the bottle, in the beginning. I think sometimes there are certain times to where she has to do that is OK..its just if she did it all the time!! And maybe you should tell her that. " I don't mind if occasionally you give it to her, but we feed it to her all the time at home" She prob has other little ones and just cann't do it all the time...thats understandable.

Hi H.,
Your little one really is at a very young age to start eating from the spoon.
Most babies don't really get that down until 6-7 months and eating rice cereal from the bottle will not harm her at all.....just make sure it's shaken up and mixed well before eaten.
Pediatricians also say now that rice cereal should wait until 6 mths of age because of early food allergies associated with starting it to early.

If you like the sitter alot then stick with her. She didn't even have to tell your Mother that she put the cereal in a bottle but she did so that tells you she's at least being honest with you.
I'm sure she is very busy taking good care of your daughter and just tried to do what's best for her. Like I said, 4 mths is so young to spoon feed and I can see why it would have taken her a long time to eat it. She really just needs the bottle until 6 mths of age.

Good luck and keep us posted on your decision!

H.-

I would agree somewhat with what others are telling you. Your daughter is a little young for cereal so with that being said, have your sitter try to give her cereal with a spoon for 15-20 mins and what she does not finish then be done. I would not suggest putting it in a bottle. the purpose of feeding them cereal is to get use to swallowing food and using a spoon- not for the nurtional value. your daughter will be fine just on formula or BM. The true reason for starting to introduce foods is to get them use to the texture, eating with a spoon, etc. Babies don't really need "food" unitl they are 9 months or older. So for that matter you could just have your sitter give her bottles and not even mess with the cereal thing until she is a little older and more efficient with eating. you can just feed that to her at home. hope this helps... just my opinion.

I am in agreeance with you. The whole point of cereal is so they get use to the idea of EATING! If you want her fed with a spoon, then the babysitter needs to feed her with a spoon. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

I am the mother of an almost 7 year old who spent the first 2 1/2 years in day care and I don't care what anyone says this is YOUR child and how you choose to raise your child is your decision. If the provider feels the child is too young for something or is not able to provide the services you request then the provider should simply say "Ms. Jones, this is not something we normally do with a child at this age..." and discuss possible alternatives to mom's request. A mother should never hold back speaking to the childcare provider regarding concerns, giving a call once a day to check on the child and asking questions about how the child did all day....

My daughter at 3 months was left in her childcare crib by the provider (a nursery, fully-licensed, run by a woman married to a congressman...) she drank 6 ounces ALL DAY and was sleeping...they never called us and by the end of the day when we picked her up she was out of it. We rushed her to the doctor and fortunately it was just an infection, however the dehydration made it 100x worse.

At 2 1/2 we moved to Texas and I put her into a franchise child care center while we got settled in.....I visited the child care center several times (surprise visits) and found their 10:1 ratio turned into 25:1 after 10am when most of the kids where there. Lots of crying babies in dirty diapers, yet parents paying $200 a week for this care. Needless to say, I took my daughter out of this center and after that it was strictly playdates and mommy & me stuff.

Remember you never have a second chance to do right by your child...speak up and as long as your requests are reasonable for the childs age and development there should not be any issues.

Hey H.,

As a mom and a child care provider I hopefully can offer some help on this situation. At 4 months, starting out learning how to eat her cereal from a spoon is going to take some time before she gets it down pat. If she is taking "too long" at daycare the maybe offer a compromise. Ask your provider to work with her eating her cereal for 10-15 minutes and if she is not finished by then, then she may give the rest to her in a bottle, if she chooses. Realize that in no way shape or form is this going to hinder her from learning how to eat from a spoon. My child was breastfed only until 9 months (due to wheat allergies in the food and cereal) and went straight to baby food eating as if she had always been eating that way. By 6 months or so she should be able to eat well from a spoon so just give it time. Now if it really bothers you, then look into alternative care, but I think since you feel comfortable with this woman, then stick with her...good providers can be hard to find.

As for the comments that if she can't take time to do these things, then she has taken on too much....coming from a provider myself...state allows a certain number of children per age per caregiver. In the cases of infants it is one caregiver to 4 babies. It can be difficult when all the children need or want something at the same time and you do the best that you can. If your child is getting loved, fed, and is in an environment where you feel is safe, then that is really all you can ask for. Please don't come on here and bash this woman that you don't even know.

H.,

I think a sitter , who is under your employ, should abide by your wishes. Pediatricians advise against feeding cereal in a bottle due to several reasons: choking hazards, type 2 diabetes because they eat far more through the bottle than they are able to ingest using a spoon. Your sitter should be patient enough to feed your child. If this poses a problem, I would consider finding someone else. Good luck!

First of all - I am a firm believer that cereal should never be put in a bottle. I am outraged by Miss Brenda's comments. You are the parent. If you have specified that the cereal not be put in the bottle - then the cereal should not be put in the bottle. If it was taking too long, then perhaps your child is not getting adequate care in other ways too. A child care provider is paid by you and therefore they are providing a service that YOU pay for. How would she like it if you decided that not to pay her one week or show up an hour late? That would be changing the terms of your agreement. Yes, she is self-employed, however, you are PAYING her. I would be very weary of her and what else she has done. If she doesn't have time to feed your child cereal, then she may have too many kids. There is no such thing as a bind. Either she should provide the services you PAY her for or else you should find someone else!

If it was me, I would presume that the little one wasn't eating so the sitter fed it to her in the bottle to make sure she got the nutrients.

If you are bothered, then next time you talk to the sitter say something along the lines of "hey (sitter), my mom said that (baby) was having a hard time with her cereal the other day & ended up taking it through her bottle.. our doc said she really needs to be eating it through a spoon right now since she has such a sensitive reflux.. you have probably seen this more then me with your other kiddos, what do you think we should do to help her get more down? (This is KEY! you are approaching the subject and inviting the help of the sitter which is bringing her attention to the matter & making some good points (IE that the doctor recommended it)all while being not confrontational.)"

Listen to what she says, then say something along the lines of "ok great, well lets do this - lets not give her any cereal in the bottle at all for a week & see how much she can get down.. if you think she is going hungry by not eating her cereal give me a quick call, but otherwise lets just try this and see how it goes" then thank her for helping you so much with this etc.

I'm pretty sure cereal out of a bottle is a choking hazard.

Bigger issue is that she disregarded your wishes, and I would definately discuss that with her. I would have a talk with her and let her know you are very happy with her care, but that you are concerned that your directions were disregarded. It's possible she just forgot, I know my kids daycare has forgotten my instructions on occasion which is why I now put the really important stuff in a note for them.

I agree with what Brenda S. said, she couldn't have said it better, I am a homecare provider and sometimes you get in a crunch and have to what works at that time!! and your baby is a bit young to be eating with a spoon, give her another month!!

After reading what everyone has been saying, this is a bit ridiculous. It is not mom vs. sitter, that's a bit dramatic, she didn't "obey" your wishes for one day and now it's been blown up into a big deal, she didn't have to tell you she finished with a bottle, but she did, so it's not like she means any harm or is going against what you want. There is such thing as being in a crunch, maybe another child got hurt, or another was waking up from a nap and screaming and she had to tend to them right away, if moms are going to be that picky maybe your child should just be at home with you, they are not the only one at daycare.

I'm a mother of 4, which are 2 sets of twins. I have lots of goals and high ideals and sometimes I just have to do what has to be done and I'm not perfect, so I can understand how a good provider can make a mistake or a judgment call that is not in line with the ideal situation. But I tell you that it's very very hard to find good situations for your children, where the price, the flexibility, the people, the caring, etc all work out. If you are otherwise happy, which it sounds like you are, perhaps this is something you can work with. After all, as noted she did not lie about it, she mentioned it, perhaps because she expects you to help her with direction. As someone else said, perhaps just tell her that if she gets in a bind, you prefer that she just give more bottle and not feed the cereal through the bottle. If that works, your problem is solved. Believe me, you will have enough problems finding good stable help that follows your directions and shows up when they are supposed to...but you don't have to just "take it" either. Just work with your provider, and think about the times that you don't do exactly what you planned to do with your kids...while you are away the care provider is stepping in your shoes.

I would just say that you appreciate her trying to feed her all the cereal, but you really don't want her to have cereal in her bottle. She might think that you want her to eat all the cereal that's prepared, and that finishing her meal was more important than the method in which she ate it.
Maybe let the sitter know that it's ok to just end the feeding and give her a regular bottle if she has given the baby a reasonable amount of time to eat (say, 10 min).
At 4 months, cereal is just practice anyway. Her formula or breastmilk is more important, so if she's spent 5 or 10 minutes eating from a spoon, that's probably enough to get a taste and feel for it.

I don't think this has anything to do with being employed vs providing a service; paying taxes, etc, whatever. And dealing with breathing treatments/nasty smells are soooo not even in the same ballpark as your request.

I do understand that the provider may need to adjust some things, but not something which you've specifically said you don't want to happen. Nap times, feeding times...I understand. But if you ask her not to feed your baby out of a bottle, she shouldn't do it. Period. She's not your "employee" but the service she's providing for you is of such a nature that she should be following your wishes for your child.

http://www.eatright.org/cps/rde/xchg/ada/hs.xsl/home_1298...

http://www.health.state.mn.us/divs/fh/wic/wicfoods/cereal...