Mother in Law Advice - Joliet,IL

Say no thanks next time. (if its an invite, g with you have something else planned, but thank you for inviting us.)
IF she persists, for the sake of harmony, take it home and pitch it.
no need to cause any riff over pasta :)

Just as we try to lead children to acquire a taste for certain foods that they refuse to eat, just keep eating her spaghetti and meatballs and try to acquire a taste for it.

She is sharing something she loves with her family because she loves you! I think "Thanks so much!" is always a lovely response. One day, you may miss her and her spaghetti.

Tammy, Take it home and feed it to the daycare kids. kids love spaghetti lol.
S.

Take it home for the kids...if they don't like it, then pitch it. Whatever you do, don't tell your MIL that you don't like it! =) That will probably be something you regret for the rest of your life when it hurts her feelings.

You have a lot of excellent feedback here! I have to throw in my .02 also, because this reminds me so much of my late grandmother. She loved to make huge quantities of old-school Jewish sides, roasts, chickens, soup...you name it. The trouble was that she was an awful cook! The meat was unchewable, all the starches were overcooked, and she made salad dressing out of mayonnaise and ketchup. But you know what? We ate it, even if it was only one part of the dinner. (Personally, I had no problem socking away her food, but white flour, fat and sugar has that effect on me, LOL) It really did make my grandmother happy. So, if you can hold your nose and consider it a labor of love, please try. Good luck!

You got a lot of good advice so far! The only thing I would add is as the DIL, I would never say anything. Your husband on the other hand is a different story. If I don't like something of my FIL/MIL's doing, I always have my husband tell them. and vice versa. They'll accept it a lot more from him than you.

If your husband won't say anything, then I definitely wouldn't either.

I believe unless you (or husband) want spaghetti and meatballs for the rest of your life, you have to speak up. She thinks you like her food. If "no thanks" doesn't work, then maybe say, thanks mom, but we just went shopping and the fridge is so full, we have to get rid of what we already have. Or more tactfully and I know it is painful, but say, we are trying to get away from meat and it's better off if you keep if for you and dad.

My mom used to do the same thing with her lasagna. Every time we would visit her she would make a big lasagna for dinner and an extra one for us to take home and freeze for later. So, when we go to visit her we tell her we just had lasagna or we offer to take her out or ask to order pizza. I do have an out -- my son has food allergies so she doesn't push the lasagna so much anymore. The extra one for the freezer went into the trash as soon as we got home.

I can't think of any way for you to tell her you don't like her spaghetti. Your husband might be able to tell her that he doesn't like it (since presumably he knows her well), but anything you say will most likely hurt her feelings. So, either decline the invitations and throw away what she gives you (unless you have someone who likes it that you could give it to).

I'm with Sheri - take it home and feed it to the kids.

Do you reciprocate and have her over for dinner? If not when she invites you over say " you always do the cooking, let me bring the food this time" or if you do invite her over frequently keep the spagetti, drop it at a homeless shelter on the way home, while it may not be the best a person hungry usually does not refuse a meal. Don't make this be her thing to attack you over if you have a good relationship. If you don't have a good relationship and you don't want to go, knock the noodles.

As a MOTHER-IN-LAW, I am very blessed! My son-in-law & I get along very well. Can't say the same for my daughter and her Mother-in-law. Unfortunately, her's is more like the relationship that I had with mine! For the first several years, I accepted anything that she offered, for fear of offending her. Then one day, she said to her sister, very sacastically, (with me right there) that I would TAKE anything I can get! Needless to say, I declined a lot more from that day on!

In a case like yours, honesty is definately the best policy! You don't have to tell her that you don't like HER
dish, but try to reverse it sometime. Invite her for YOUR spaghetti! She might notice the difference and take the hint! Maybe your husband can make some statement that may point it out, without hurting her.

Then next time it is offered, just decline, without any excuses, but be sure to accept another dish if offered.

I had a similar issue with my mother-in law and lasagne...we hated hers but were so thankful she thought of us, BUT she was spending a lot of money on something we pitched. I asked hub to think of some dishes he liked from childhood (sloppy joe and split pea soup) and called her and said, Ma, Guy was telling us about how he wishes he had some of the sloppy joes you used to make, could you make that for us instead of lasagne? We're getting a bit burned out on Italian anyway. And so she started to make other things, and we were HAPPY for the leftovers and everyone won. Good luck.

HI TK,
My mom often brings over things that I or she saved from my childhood. Old pictures, yearbooks, etc are always appreciated. However, when it comes to old books, tests from grade school, stuffed animals that are 35+ years old...I just don't want them. A good friend suggested that I take them and thank my mom and then throw out what I don't want to keep. This is working like a charm. From my mom's perspective she has held on to my treasures for years as a favor to me and I really ought to appreciate her efforts. Just toss the spagetti and eventually get to to point of suggesting something all of you would really like to eat and maybe a new recipe will take hold!

Lol, that's funny! Anyway, she is obviously proud of her special dish and thinks her son (at least) loves it! My advice is just to bite the bullet, take the leftovers with a smile and say " Thanks, Mom, that's always so generous of you!"

To her, this is a loving and caring gesture- she honestly believes you like it and her feelings would probably be terribly hurt if you refused it, even with a polite lie. Why create that kind of difficult and hurtful situation just to avoid taking home a tupperware container?

Scrape it out when you get home and just smile and save yourself a boat load of in-law trouble. I guarantee that if your household suddenly stopped taking the leftovers home, it will be YOU that ends up taking heat for it and not your husband. It's not worth the grief!

Is there any way you can accept the gift, take it home and doctor up the sauce to make it tasty for your family? That or find someone who does like it, so the food does not go to waste?? Good luck.

Hi T K If your mother-in-law meatballs and spaghetti is the only thing about her that you don't like, then just take the dish home with you,( you didn't say anything about your daughters not liking it) and give it to them to eat or serve it at your daycare for lunch to the kids. Or just toss it in the garbage. You don't want to ruin a relationship with her over this.

I did not read prior responses, so maybe this is a dupe, but maybe you could take it, and add your own flair/spices/sauce to it at home to make it taste better? That is what I probably would do, free food to save money in today's economy, and saving the aftermath of telling her you do not particularly enjoy her dish :) Avoid the stress, and make your own pasta bake from it =)

I say just take it and then throw it away or maybe feed it to your day care kids if they like it! LOL! :)
Good Luck...T.

Just take it and say thank you.It would crush her if you declined.

I agree with your husband just say no thanks or next time she invites you over for spaghetti, just say you are unable to make it.

S.

Choose your battles with your MIL. This seems pretty minor. "No thank you" is fine, but if she insists you eat a little, then do so, but you don't have to eat it all. Take what she gives you home and if no one really wants it, just discard it. You could also explain how you've had so much pasta lately that you just can't eat any for a long while. She likely enjoys cooking for you and your family. Let her have the moment.

See if she has any spices that you can add to it. She will then get the hint that everyone might not love it that way. She won't mind it as much if it doesn't suit your taste. If she doesn't have the spices, bring your own. Experiment with the leftovers at home.

I would agree with the other posters.

Is it really worth causing a big stink over spaghetti?

Ah, that's the age old problem. In laws and their cooking. I had a sister in law in my previous marriage who made just about the worst awful beef stew anyone could ever make. She had it everytime she invited massive amounts of people over. Baptisms, communions, backyard barbecues, there it was, the beef stew. eeeueeew. Well, I usually ate it, but I started bringing along salads and augratin potatoes and took a little bit of the beef stew and kind of mushed it all together so it looked like I ate some Her mother even made a pretty bad soup and we took that home -I swear every time and put it in the garbage about the moment we walked in the door! The point is this is one of those untouchable situations. You have to accept it probably for the rest of your married life that the meatballs and spaghetti come with the package.You can't spend a lifetime of avoiding her spaghetti dinners! If it's really awful you could start bringing your own sauce or extra garlic !something! to alter the taste -but even that gets a raised eyebrow and you could find out what's in the meatballs-and suddenly remember you had an alergy to basil but for the most part it's one of those grin and bear it situations. Remember it is quite possible that we will be inlaws ourselves one day and people might not like our pasta extraordinaire either. It's tough, but hopefully not often. And, here is total truth, I recently started getting terrible heartburn to some spaghetti or pizza sauces-you are welcome to borrow that idea anytime and I always loved spaghetti and pizza!