Morning Routine Advice

Have you thought about driving into the city? Or an alternate way of getting to work besides the train? I too work in the city (have to be there by 8) and work from home one day a week (Fridays). I found that I was having a hard time getting my 6:55 train (and getting my 17 month old son to day care by 6:45), so I looked into different options for getting into the city. Instead of taking the commuter rail, I sometimes drive a little closer to the city and take a commuter bus. I also found a few parking lots in the Seaport area that are $11/$12 a day, which is actually what my train fare is roundtrip. Maybe that's an option???? Like the other Moms I, too, try and get as ready as I can before my son gets up (get as dressed as possible, I have my breakfast and my bags are packed/lunches made). I put jewelry and makeup on during my commute.

Good luck!

Well you have lots of good suggestions. What time does he wake up? And does he wake up on his own or do you wake him? If the latter, could you let him sleep later and miss him in the morning those two days he is staying with your husband?

I think that children do need a routine, but a repeating pattern counts as a routine and you have a repeating pattern of what he does each week so I don't think you have to make everything exactly the same everyday. But it might be nice to let him know what happens each day as in tell him - tomorrow's Tuesday and you get to play with Daddy all day! They seem to understand everything at that age even if they can't talk. It might make it easier for him. And you.

As a working mother it is just really really difficult to do everything and we all struggle with these things.

Best of luck,

J.

My son just turned 2 and I've noticed that when we stray from the routine things get out of control. I think maybe the problem is that every day is too different. It probably would be easier for him if the morning routine was the same every day & he knew what to expect. Good luck!

Hi J.,

You are probably already getting up pretty early but have you tried getting up before your son? In this way you can get yourself ready first. Once you are ready, you can focus all of your attention on your little guy. I have to be at work at 7 and this seems to work best for me.

Good luck!
D.

I have similar issues with my now 19 month old son, but I see them more in the evening when I am trying to make dinner and wind the family down for the day.

We had issues in the morning, but they have mostly subsided. He and dad now have a routine in the morning where they play in our bed before getting ready for daycare (we now also have a 4 month old, so the boys have a grand old time).

To ease some of the issues with him wanting to be picked up, I started giving him tasks to do and "help" out. When he is doing the task, I try to do as much as I can where I need both hands. When he is done, or not playing along, I pick him up and have him help me directly do what I am doing. He now helps me cook. He holds a spoon or spatula while I work (we try to prep the food before so it makes things easier).

On a side note, do you ask the daycare or your husband if he continues to cry or if he remains upset for long? My son only acts this way when I am around. It makes me feel a little better, but it does not help you move any faster! Is your daycare willing to take him earlier so that you can drop him off then go back home to get ready?

If your son gets up around the same time as you, can you spend 5-10 minutes with him, just sitting and cuddling and watching a little TV or reading a book... before you get the morning routine? I know it's hard to add more to the morning routine, but I've found that this really helps with my toddler.

Alternatively, what the previous poster said about getting up and ready earlier so that you can spend time with him is a good idea.

It's great that you have a flexible schedule and are able to work from home. However not so much for your little one. Toddlers feel safe knowing what is going to happen next, so a routine is important. I would try to do the same routine every morning (and bedtime too), waking up at the same time no matter if you are home for that day, or racing off to work. And having your husband involved too so that is part of the routine. It means getting up roughly at the same time every day (even weekends), but I bet it will provide the stability he is needing.

Good luck!

My son also is clingy to me if I am around. I find it helps if I hide out so my husband is the only option for him. So I stay in my bedroom and gt ready for work as my husband gets him out of bed/changes his clothes. He'll still cry for me but accepts I am not there after a few minutes. Then I will make an appearance while he is eating breakfast and give him a solid 5-10 minutes of attention. So try making yourself very scarce in the morning--your son might accept the new routine after a while...

My kids are a little older now...4 and 7.. but I went through the same sort of thing when they were younger. My oldest in particular had a rough time when he was little. I tried so many options just as you have. In the end, the thing that got us over the hump was removing me from the equation for a little while on my early days. I felt horrible at first but he learned to love his routine with his dad on those days. At first I just got up earlier, and stayed downstairs getting ready while my husband entertained our son upstairs. I would then spend a nice quality 15 minutes with my son before I left. That helped for awhile but he caught on soon that I was downstairs. I ended up getting up and leaving extra early before my son even got up. I only had to do this two days a week due to our schedules. I hated not having any time with my son in the morning. However it allowed my son and husband the chance to develop their own special routine on those days. It actually became a really special time for them. In time I was able to ease back into a normal schedule. Good luck!

Would it be possible that you could wake your son up on those "rush" days bu laying with him and waking him up gently and slowly? That seems to help my son...if he gets some mommy cuddleing time....the day goes better.

Hi J., I am not sure if you have ever considered having in home care instead of daycare for him? An au pair can ease the home to daycare transition, your son can still socialize through playgroups & local activities, but he would have less of a change in activities in his morning & you & your husband would have an extra set of helping hands with that stressfull getting ready time in the AM. Just something to think about! My contact information & the Cultural Care Au Pair website info are on my profile. Good luck & I hope you get some good suggestions to try!
C.