Hi A.,
First let me introduce myself. I am probably one of the lactation consultants that you spoke with. I can whole heartly nderstand how you feel. I was a breastfeeding natzi and believed that everyone should do it. Well, after teaching it for 2 years, I had my first child. Low and behold, I knew nothing. I sat in my coworkers office crying, feeling like an idiot. I work for WIC and we promote breastfeeding. How would I feel if I couldn't do what I recommended and how could I expect others to do the same. I believe everything happens for a reason. We might not understand the reasons at the time but usually figure them out later in life. Obviously mine was to stop bulling women into making a decision that they may not be happy with. I know that none of this helps you now, but I also had to use formula. By the age of 6 months, my baby was half breastmilk and half formula. I did not have the problems with latching on, after I fed her with a medicine dropper for 4 weeks, no bottles, no pacifiers and thru the growth spurt. Not something I would expect a postpartum, tired, unregulated hormaonal person to do. I could only pump 1 oz. if I pumped 20 minutes or an hour. It wasn't the pump. I had a hospital grade pump. My body just said no way!!!! So, she did fine on formula.
I have not heard alot about mothers milk tea. I prefer to use fenugreek. There is even medication that could increase your milk supply. Fenugreek should be taken according to the instructions and you could smell like maple syrup. Unless you can swallow anything, than I would recommend the pills. I could not swallow that tea to save my life. One side effect of fenugreek is it can cause a decrease in your sugar levels, so, if you are prone to hypoglycemia, I might not recommend it.
If you would like more info on the medications, I can help you with that. But, please do not beat yourself up. Alot of mothers can't make it as far as you have. I know how medicinal and beneficial the breastmilk can be but is it worth your sanity. If you hate pumping and hate the whole process, thta alone will decrease your milk supply.
I wish you luck! Make the decision that works best for you and your baby. As a parent, listen to everyone's advice, but decide for yourself what you want to do.
FYI: My second child nursed like a charm, so maybe next time.
send me a personal message if you need specific questions asked of me.
H. B.