Moms with Experience with Dogs That Have Bitten Their Child's Friend

I can't tell you what to do in this situation but my alarm went off when you said the kids were "roughhousing" with the dog. Could that have been what provoked it and was it a "bite" in response to being too roughhoused or a "playbite" (like some dogs do when playing with other dogs, mouthing around their necks, backs, etc.)? We've tried to teach our kids that the dog is just that: a dog, and should not be teased or generally pushed around. They are only 4 right now, but they know if they want to play with the dog, that involves throwing a ball or toy for the dog, not physically being on him or chasing him, etc. We have a 9 year old boxer who is a complete love, and has never given me concern, but as he ages, I'm trying to watch for signs of getting less "tolerant" so we also have also taught them to never wake him while he's sleeping or to ever touch him or his food while he's eating (even though since we've had him, I myself have been able to put my hand in his bowl while he's eating and he's never been aggressive but that could change as he ages...) I guess I'm just wondering, if you've never had an issue with your dog before, could it have been the roughhousing situation? I don't think we can expect a dog to just turn off his instinct because we have kids around. It's our responsibility to teach the kids how to act with them. In fact, when we have our kids' friends over, many times I keep our dog crated since some of the kids have a fear of dogs and some other kids do not have them at home and do not know how to treat him so I keep them separated just in case.

I know I'd be so upset, as it sounds you are, and wondering what to do here. If you are truly worried your dog will bite again, perhaps it's best to place with a responsible dog rescue that will take the time to evaluate the dog in a foster home situation and place with the right family. I'd also consult your vet before you do anything.

I hope you can find a solution that works right for you and your family.

To guide your decision - just think how you will feel the next time this happens - especially if it is worse - but even if it is not - and that child's parent asks you how you could have kept a dog that already did this once? And when it is YOUR child that it happens to - and your relatives ask you why you kept the dog - what will your answer be?
You might feel comfortable in your answer. I've had pets that bit when roughhoused or stressed. They were not bad animals. Others are bad. You must go with your gut.

It's a tough situation. I just went thru it with my dog. He was 9 1/2 and our baby. He was 140 lb black lab. we had him since before I had my 3 kids, so he was our first baby. He was as gentle as could be with us and my kids, but got rough with the neighbors dogs. The neighbors owners would jump in the middle of the dog fight and I was afraid my dog would eventually bite them. This happened on numerous occasions. We finally made the horrible decision to put him down. No one would take him because of his aggression towards other dogs. Usually once they show any aggression, you can't find anywhere for them to go. Especially if the dog has actually bitten. My dog never bit anyone, but when I took him to the MSPCA, they had to muzzle him. It was heartbreaking, but I couldn't take the chance he got loose again and bit someone. What if it was worse next time?? Keep that in mind, that may help you make your decision.

This is a horrible thing to go through. My mother's dog bit my niece once and at first I thought the same thing you have to give the dog away or put him down. If he did it once he will do it again. It has now been three yrs since the incident and it has never happened again. I think you need to look at how it happened. If the dogs behavior is aggressive then maybe you have to look into giving the dog up but when you are roughhousing with a dog you run the risk of this might happen. I would talk to your vet and ask their opinion. I think they would be able to give the best advice.

You've gotten a lot of good advice so far. One thing that I think has not been mentioned or stressed enough, is training. Have you ever trained your dog? I mean serious, the dog absolutely, without hesitation obeys commands you give? If you haven't you might want to look into that. A vet can probably help you find a good trainer or class. You have to be able to be "top dog" ALL the time. You'll probably also need a new "no roughhousing" rule regarding the dog. A lot of how things go now will depend on how the parents of the girl bitten react. It is probably a good idea to talk to them about what you're planning to do to ensure the dog doesn't get the opportunity to bite anyone again. Good luck, this is really hard. I hope things work out for all concerned.

My advice is to not listen too closely to the advice you have already received. You have NO idea the circumstances surrounding why others dogs have bitten so to decide or even contemplate putting your dog down based on that would be reckless. The ages of your daughters, 8 & 13, are old enough to know that 'roughousing' with any pet can lead to someone being injured, the kid or the dog. Limit that play and see how it goes. Consult your vet and realize that certain breeds behave in different ways. Good luck.

Hi there,

I know how upsetting this situation is for you and your family. After a lot of heartache, my husband and I ended up having to put our 6 year old dog down. Our dog had several incidents of snapping at faces, without being instigated. She snapped at both adults, and at children. Luckily, we didn't have any incidents where stitches were necessary, but we didn't want to take the chance.

If you live in Massachusetts, there is a law on the books that states that if a dog has bit in the past, and if you give that dog away to another family or a shelter and it bites again, then you can be held legally responsible.

You know your dog best. I know that in our situation our dog was getting worse. We consulted our veterinarian who felt we were making the right decision putting her down. Their opinion was that once a dog begins to bite, the situation can get worse very quickly. A dog that bites requires a lot of rigid re-training, often times without success. The feeling of myself, my husband, and our vet., was that we couldn't stick to that kind of re-training with 4 children in the house, and we couldn't take the risk of a serious injury occurring if the dog did bite again.

Again, you know your dog best, and only you can make that decision. You will hear criticism and opinions on both sides, but you have to make the decision for yourself. When we made our decision, we told the kids that we were bringing our dog to the vets because we thought she was sick, since she's been snapping at people. A couple of days later, when the kids asked where the dog was, we explained to the kids that the dog was really sick, and she ended up dying at the vets office. We didn't tell them that we decided to put her down. We felt that would be more devastating to the children. This way, the kids didn't think our dog was a bad dog either, they just think that she was sick.

We didn't make our decision lightly. We cried for weeks. It is the most difficult decision to have to make. I am so sorry about your situation. I wish you luck.

Hi M., It is a sad thing when a family pet bites. Was it an accident, was the dog "mouthing" or did the dog do it because it was acting aggressivly? How are the parents of the your daughters friend reacting? How old is the dog? These are questions you have to answer. We had a cocker spaniel who was 11 years old. My daughters at the time were 3 and 1 1/2. The dog bit my older daughter on the face over a bowl of popcorn. We at the time decided that we just could not take a chance and sadly we had to give the dog up to the MSPCA and because of his age and what happened, they could not adopt him out and he had to be put to sleep. We cried for days, my older daughter had a real tough time, she blamed herself. We just told her that Mickey missed his mom and dad and wanted to go live with them. As they say, time heals all wounds. Your children are older and it will be a little more difficult for them I am sure. This is a tough one, maybe you can put the dog in a room away from visitors or children that come over to play.......I guess it depends on your dogs past and under what circumstances the dog bit the friend.......Talk to the parents of the friend and feel them out.....good luck, keep us posted!

I'm sorry - this is a sad situation. Talk to your vet for advice. Our family dog bit my brother once years ago; we tried keeping him and limiting contact but then he bit him again a couple days later so we wound up giving the dog to friends without children and the dog did fine. My understanding is that once a dog bites a human they just can't be trusted any more - especially with children - because their wild instinct takes over a little and the dog becomes a huge liability. I knew a family with a dog that bit and they kept the dog, but the dog just started biting more and more - to the point that it once bit someone who was petting it with no real warning beforehand. I mean bit hard - through their hand - not a nip. I know it's a tough situation since you naturally love your dog, but you don't want any more dog bites and stitches.