Moms with Blended Family Troubles or Answers

Were you aware that your husband was planning on getting custody of his girls when you got married and had your son?
That can make a big difference and you really don't say in your plea for help. The best advice I can give you is to talk what ever is bothering you over with your husband and see if you can solve the problem. Also you might want to talk to the interfering family members. Maybe if you had control of the situation it might help. Good Luck!

Way to take the crash course. My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers. I do not think anyone expects you to have the same love for your 2 step daughters that you have for your son. However I like what was already told to you..... Show kindness. It really does make a difference. Treat them the way that you want to be treated. In laws can be very difficult. My husband works for his parents and I feel like they are always in my business when I do not want them, but then last night my daughter had her middle school graduation and nobody could bother to come. It is frustrating. I always try to focus on the positive and say it could be worse. Atleast my in laws love my family and want what they think is best. They want us to be happy and successful. Try to use there invlovement to your benefit. You want to spend time with the girls, why don't you watch them during the summer so that I can go shopping for a few hours alone. You want to hang out at our house, why don't you do it on Friday night so I can have a date night with my husband. Good Luck! I will keep you in my prayers.

Hi,
We had shared custody of my 2 step daughters- they were 7 and 14 when I got them.
the information that is available at ChildrensBehaviorHelp.com, is what I used.
When they were with us I just considered I was the mom, that was my job-what is it you think mom entails?
I know my husband was grateful that I loved his girls- because he told me- and to me they are part of him so of course I loved them for starters, and then loved them for themselves as we went along. Maybe you could think of your 3 children, your two daughters, who it would appear have had a bit of a go of it so far, and now have a stable home provided by you and your husband.
Maybe a family vacation- get away from all the relatives for a bit.
Have the girls help with their brother.
Check out that website, and smile- honestly MY girls have grown up into wonderful young women. You can do this!
Best of Luck, k

This may not be the advice you are looking for, but all I can suggest is to be kinder than necessary. You are setting an example of the women they will grow up to be.

I had 6 -1/2 brothers and sisters.(Same Dad different mom. I was an accident.) Now as an adult w/ my own child I look back at the situation and I can say that I truly respect the kindness of my step mom. She was ALWAYS kind to me even when my own mom was not kind to her kids. It wasn't something I even thought about until I had my own child. She could have treated me as the evil marriage wrecking step child, but she never did. My Dad left her and the 6 kids to be w/ us, but then eventually went back. When I would come for the weekend I was just like everyone else. We all had the same rules.
I know it might be tough to be kind sometimes, but it will be important that you were, someday. Try and treat them as your own. Everyone has some sort of baggage. If you love your husband just remember they are 1/2 of him. Easy for me to say not being in your shoes, I know. But I was that child once, trying to find my place in the family. Kindness Matters.
Best Wishes!
j.