My son just turned 1 on Saturday. He has always went to bed when we lay him down. On occasion their will be some crying but he is usually asleep within 5 minutes or less. He doesnt like to be rocked at all. He wants to be laid down and left alone. This last couple of nights have been total horror. He has had his book, hugs and kisses. We put him in his bed and turn on his music so that he can go to sleep to no avail. He screams and screams. We thought at first that something might be wrong but he has continued to do it with no symptoms of being sick such as fever, ear grabbing or any teeth. We let him cry for 15 minutes and then go up and console him but then he goes right back to screaming. He will not sleep and gets himself so worked up that he coughes and is so tired. If we put him in his swing (which he is way to big for he will go to sleep). we hate to keep doing this because we are afraid that he will break it and we dont want to have to have a swing at all times for him to sleep. Does anyone have any suggestions. I try to let him cry it out but my husband doesnt think that we should let him cry for that long and also that if he will go to sleep in the swing why dont we just let him. Any advice would be great.
I know it's hard to let them cry but I think it's probably best especially with one coming next month. That's what I did and my daughter still loves me. :o) I know it's hard though so it's up to you!
Brew chamomille tea. It is herbal without caffeine. Once brewed, mix it 1/2 and 1/2 with apple juice in their sippy cup. It works like a charm for us. Jacob goes right to sleep and sleeps all night when we do this.
Check out the book "the no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Plantley. It helped me out tremendously without having to let him 'cry it out.' Babies can't eat by themselves, go to the bathroom by themselves, dress themselves, talk, etc...... so, why would we expect them to NOT need help with sleep from time to time!!! Good luck, I definately know what you're feeling,
K.
I just had this problem with my 18 month old daughter. We also have a new baby in the mix, so I think that was her reason, but we got her up the first night thinking she was sick, but she wasn't. After that we just had to let her cry herself to sleep which was difficult, but it worked. She took about a week to go to bed normally. Also her bedtime used to be 8 and i extended it out until 9. I think that extra hour made her sleepy enough to get her to go to sleep right away.
Our doctor told us if you let you child cry for 30 they will fall alsleep unless there is something wrong. Sometimes they just need to cry. They get stress just like we do and crying is a great stress reliver. If you know nothing is wrong and he is safe in his crib he will be fine. Yes I know it is hard to listen to your baby cry. Still to this day when my 3 year-old crys I want to cuddle her but I know if I do she will want it every night. It only took about 203 night of letting her cry it out before she just went to sleep like she used to. Rememeber they are always testing you.
Is it possible that he is going through a bout of seperation anxiety. My son is 9 months and usually falls asleep on his own with little or no fussing/crying. But one month ago we experienced the exact thing except he would wake up after about 2 hrs and start the screaming. It lasted for about 4 or 5 days (with some nights being horrible and some nights being not as bad). We would just sit next to his crib and pat him until he fell asleep or almost asleep. I was concerned that I would start a bad habit but after a few days he stopped waking up or if he did I would hear him fuss for a moment before back to falling asleep.
At 12 months he is just entering the huge peak period for seperation anxiety. It may be that you just need to be consistent with his bedtime routine and in a few days his sleeping will return to normal. I can understand your hubby having a hard time with crying and if he is just working himself up more then it isn't helpful but if he is starting to wind down when you give in and go to him it could be making things much worse. At any rate my son's sleep has normalized again so I am sure your sons will. In the mean time, I totally sympathize and understand. When does he go in for his 1 year check up? It probably would be reassuring for you to have the Dr. give him a clean bill of health too.
Hi D.
My teins went through this when they were about this age, and come to find out it was "monsters and nightmares". Don't assume that because your son doesn't watch anything scary that he doesn't have his own versions of bad dreams or monsters. What I did was buy a clean spray bottle and fill it with water. I made a label for the bottle that said "monster spray" and told him that this was magic and would never let bad things, monsters or bad dreams to scare them. I'd go in their room right before bed (with them to see), and spray with monster spray around the room. Worked like a charm.
I went thru that same issue with my daughter. We tried everything, then we let her cry herself to sleep by letting her cry/scream for about 5-10 mins, then I would go back in, clean her face off, lay her back down with a ba-ba and her stuffed animal, rub her head for a minute and then leave. I would repeat this about 3 times before she would cry herself to sleep. We had to do this for almost a week and then she just stopped crying at bed time one night. Now she's 20 months and around 18 months, she did the same thing for a couple nights. We did the same method as described above and within a couple nights, we all were back on schedule. It is very hard to hear them cry but it's what worked for us so best of luck!
Getting kiddos to sleep is a tough problem sometimes, although it sounds like you have been blessed with an easy sleeper who is just having a rough time. I definitely think you need to make sure that he is okay health-wise. Try giving him a bit of Tylenol one night and see if he goes to sleep easier. This might be a clue that he has a medical problem.
You also said that you were due with baby #2 in November. This means big changes to your son. He may just be reacting to the big change that is coming soon with this bit of rebellion. Are you feeling so tired that you aren't giving him as much time in the evenings as you usually do? It may be that he wants more attention, so that is why he is staying up and fighting sleep.
I do not believe in the cry it out method, but I know some people do. I think that you switch short term sleep for long term psychological issues with sleep. Try to spend a little extra time with him in the evening and then follow your bedtime routine. When he starts to cry, just sit in the room on the floor next to the bed. Don't interact with him. Just be present in the room.
Above all, keep in mind that your little guy is going to be going through some big changes with the new baby in the house. Cut him some slack, and be attentive to the ways a one-year old tells you that he is feeling stressed. That usually is behavioral changes like regressing to be more baby-like and temper tantrums. Good luck with your growing family and with getting your son off to sweet dreams in a pleasant way.
This is tough, but it only takes one time of you letting him out of bed (and into the swing, or your lap or wherever), and he will spend a LOT of time finding out just how long he has to cry to get that. I know what my doctor would say -- let him cry (that is, after you are sure there is nothing wrong). And I totally agree with that in logic, but I also know how hard it is to hear your baby screaming, and not go in there!!! I have had to do this, and it works, but it is hard -- more hard on you and dad than on him, though.
Good luck!
Are you sure he's not teething? My son has always been hard to get to sleep around that time. Just make sure you have a ritual down... i.e. bath, book, cup/bottle/ bed. If he is teething, I've found tylenol helps if you give it to him about an hour before it's bedtime. I'm sure it's just a phase though. Good luck!
I agree with Rachel, you have to let him cry it out. Has he been more tired lately than usual? Sometimes you just need to adjust naps and bedtimes to get some peace. Maybe with him just turning one it is time to reevaluate his napping habits and that could help a lot. I know both of my children were taking only one nap by that time. My son is almost 22 months and we still have to make sure he takes his nap by a certain time and is up from it by a certain time to ensure he will go to bed when he is supposed to at night. Also, if he gets a short nap it is horrible at night because the more tired they are the more they fight sleep.
My daughter did the same thing. The swing is a very bad habit...I would break that as fast as possible. Our bad habit was letting her fall asleep in our bed and then we would move her. What we had to do was let her cry. We would check on her every 15 mins. after a night or two she finally figured it out and now daddy does a great job putting her to bed without a struggle. Good luck!
Check his diet and add dark leafy vegetables if you can. They are high in B vitamins and help to relax and destress. I know it's hard to think of little ones being stressed but they have different versions of stress. You could try "Garden of Life" Super Greens. A mix that I add to apple juice. My 22 month old daughter has drank that for months now and not only is it very nutritious, she seems to throw fits a LOT less than some of my other friends' little ones. You might also give him some diluted chamomile tea in his bottle. Something else that can ease any stomach issues he may or may not be having and also helps him to relax. Find a safe source of fish (I recommend a local health food store) so that he can get the Omega-3 fatty acids that he needs. You can also give him walnut oil for this, but good luck getting him to take it. The Omega-3s not only aid in brain development, they are great at improving concentration and, again, easing stress.
Personally, I'm not a fan or advocate of the notion that they just need to cry. I've always found a solution to the crying (usually diet based) and it's generally been all the way around better for my daughter anyway.
When there is a sudden change in behavior like you are describing...it wouldn't hurt to make sure there's not an ear infection. My children never pulled at their ears even though they had infected ears. There were very subtle hints that something wasn't right...they hardly complained, but lying their heads down at night caused pain. For peace of mind I would suggest a quick visit to the doctor. When he falls asleep in the swing, do you move him back to his crib and he stays asleep? Given an all clear with the doctor...proceed with helping him learn to go to sleep on his own again. he seems a little young to be afraid of the dark, but sometimes not even a night light is enough...they want a lamp on. So, sometimes we would let ours fall asleep with the lamp on and then turn it off. We always keep night lights in their rooms. I hope you figure it out before the new baby!! Good Luck!
We're still co-sleeping because he broke his bed and we haven't been able to replace it. But when we had him trained to his bed we used the stay with me technique.
When he starts fussing you just step in to the room, sit down out of reach and turn your body so that he can see half of your face but cannot initiate eye contact. Just stare at the wall, or your lap until you know that he's back to sleep well.
Leave the door open during this so that opening the door doesn't awaken him. Each day you move further away from him until your out the door then out of his sight.
It may just be separation anxiety. They go through this phase a couple of times, or at least my son did. Luckily it only lasted a week or 2 at the most each time. I would just go in there and pat his back for a while then sit on the floor by his bed and slowly inch my way out the door. Maybe not the easiest way to do this, but it worked for us. Hope this helps and that it is short lived.
