Moms Please Help! I Have 2 Daughters 7 & 4, Both Autistic. Potty Training Help.

I Googled 'autism potty training' and it came up with many sites that could help you.

You might get more helpful suggestions on a site like Autism Speaks.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2016/02/12/seven-toilet...

I agree with bringing this to your pediatrician.
I would also think your girls would be eligible for occupational therapy through their school district.

What does her doctor say? This make no sense to me at all, nope, nothing. See when my autistic son was 4 potty training became the usual topic of conversation at every visit. He had very good ideas that applied to my son. So I just can't see finding sites to help me when I had a resource there that actually knew what he was talking about.

What are you doing for potty training? Your description of theor response suggests you're trying too hard. All kids are different ages when they're ready to potty train. I have 2 autistic grandchildren. They pretty much trained themselves with encouragement from their paren'ts when their bodies were mature enough to feel when they urinate and when their body's sphinter could hold the urine in.

My daughter never forced them to use the toilet. She asked them to try and praised them for trying. She started training by taking them to the bathroom at intervals through out the day. They helped the youngest who is not autistic, by taking her to the store to choose her little potty. The two autistic kids didn't care what their potty. Looked like.

It's not unusal for a child your older daughter's age to still have difficulty holding their urine. Your daughter needs to be seen by her doctor to rule out a medical cause for her not being able to hold her urine. Many children are still not potty trained at 4. Unless your daughter's have physical handicaps preventing them to use the potty, both fit the years seen as normal for potty training.

I don't know if severe autism changes the age and ways of potty traibing. Your daughters' pediatrician and the trained person helping them can answer this. Because you asked for help from other moms I think your girls are healthy and can learn. If you have not had help from professionals in the field that is where you need information.

Back to what worked.with my grandchildren. They only had 2 potties available. I suggest having several potties is confusing. I suggest that insisting the oldest use the "baby potty is not helping her to learn. As you noted she I'd too tall.

I suggest the 7yo screams because you force her to sit on the toilet/potty chair
She needs a gentler way of learning. I suggest you back off and let them decide when theyre willing to work on this. Forcing them to do anything creates a power struggle in which no one wins.

If you haven't talked with their doctor, I urge you to do that.

Hello Kristen,

Try using pictures of their favorite cartoon character using the potty. Post the picture near the potty so they can see it. Then point to the pic and say: ex. Elmo potty and encourage them to do what Elmo is doing. I used this method with my son who needed help with social skills and he finally went. Also, there are catchy songs on potty training videos that help as well. In the mean time, speak with your pediatrician about this matter. All kids are different. I worked with a child that had a fear of falling in the toliet, some kids do not want any of the water touching them, and just as some parents are saying in the responses below, there could be a medical concern. So there are a variety of reasons why children use the potty at different ages. I hope this helps!

My son regressed and became ill with chronic diarrhea at age 3. It wasn't until we successfully applied dietary changes and biomedical supports to promote gut healing and immune function that he finally had consistently formed stools at age 6 and was potty trained in a week. I am on several FB groups of autism parents and follow TACA (Talk about Curing Autism, which I am a mentor for), read the Autism File publication, and Generation Rescue. In my area, I know of a ABA behaviorist specifically excelling in potty training who I nearly used several years back. There are various neurological, behavioral, and gastrointestinal disruptions of potty training. For some children, it is severe constipation and belly bloat that has them afraid to use the toilet. For others, the development of the complex neurology required to stay dry overnight is derailed but daytime is achievable. In the case of my son, an inflamed/diseased (per biopsy) colon caused stools so loose it made it impossible for him to make it to the toilet on time. I suggest you first take a look at the resources out there including requesting a TACA mentor (and as a 10 year veteran of parenting autism I can say that Autism Speaks will be of little to no informative value for most issues) to determine where the issues are (neurological, behavioral, gastrointestinal) and get advice of which therapists and holistic, naturopathic, or specialty practitioners in your area are worth approaching (FB groups help with that). It may be different issues requiring different approaches for your two girls (or that same issue that still requires different approaches).

Not trying to be obstinate or anything. Okay? I have a lot of years of career work with people who have disabilities.

We often shop only at companies that have the disabled in mind. They think differently and their products are often completely amazing.

A 7 year old child isn't the right size to sit on a potty chair. I don't know how that would even work.

I have to ask, what does their doc, that is for their disability, say? Is potty training an option with their level? Is it something that you might want to put off for another year or two? Are there other issues at play that influence this ability?

There might be some sort of funding and other resources to help pay for diapers as long as they need them. Some of the adults, even elderly adults, were never able to fully be in underwear. They wore diapers their whole life. Active, capable, but their body just couldn't manage to stop the flow of urine and feces. Out of their control completely. Imagine having to change a diaper on a fully developed adult. It's very uncomfortable so I do understand what it's like.

I don't want to be discouraging either. I'm just saying that sometimes there's one thing that WE want fixed that isn't on the game plan to ever be different. That might be something you have to look at.

Being disabled is hard for anyone. Whether it's a cognitive disability like Autism or a physical disability like a car wreck that puts them in a wheelchair or a they have a low IQ and that's just not something they can understand.

We rejoice in the things they can do and accept the things that aren't going to happen. Every little thing becomes more magnified. I would write implementation strategies for every client in the group homes or institutions I've worked at. I have written a tooth brushing implementation strategy that contained over a hundred steps. Starting with step 1, when is it time to brush teeth. I might work on this one step for years. Then one day they'd stand up after eating and walk to the bathroom!!! JOY!!! They got step one. They know it's time to brush their teeth.

We always went through every single step every time. But learning each step and doing it on their own was a reason to celebrate. And yes, there are hundreds of steps to brushing teeth. When are teeth brushed, where do we go, what do we do when we get there, gather the toothbrush and toothpaste, a cup for water to rinse, and a hand towel, hot water is red, cold water is blue, how to mix the water temp to how this particular person likes it, how to hold the tooth brush, where is the toothpaste and why is that tube a tube a toothpaste...what does the label show you so you know it's not butt cream, how much toothpaste to put on the brush, do you want it wet before you brush or use it dry, up and down, gums and tongue, roof of mouth, spit in the sink not on the counter, etc....there are so many things we take for granted that everyone knows but somewhere, someone, at some time taught each step to us too.

So if your kids are in that group that potty training isn't going to be now and maybe never there are professionals that you need to speak about this to. The doc that works with their disability. Pediatricians are nice and good but they are not cognitive specialists or docs that are experts in that area. So those resources are who I'm talking about.

We took our grandson to the ABC (A Better Chance) clinic at Children's Hospital in OKC for an in depth evaluation. If they were seeing him now and he was having an issue they are who I'd call for advise or to find more resources.

I can't offer you any advise on how to potty train a disabled child because when I wrote implementation strategies that was something I never researched to do.

I feel bad you are having such a hard time with it. I do thing some of the people that work with your children in your home and through their professional appointments could help a lot though.

Our son is delayed with a number of other issues (not on the spectrum, though). He wore pullups until he was 14, and still has accidents . . . Why can't you just let the potty training thing go for right now? Surely, there are other things that she needs to be working on that are more important if she is on the spectrum.

Good luck.