My husband and I got married last December, everything was great, we both had pretty good jobs, enough money in the bank etc... March 21st, I found out I was preganant, when I had my first OB apt. I was imidiately put on restrictions because I work with violent children. Of course my job claimed to have no other type of work for me, so my only option was FMLA (unpaid of course and only lasts 12 weeks). At the time I didn't apply for unemployment because with his job and our checking and savings accounts I knew we'd be ok for awhile. I also thought I could find another job in the mean time. Oh yeah, before we found out we were expecting we purchased a new SUV, and renewed the lease on our Townhouse which included a rent increase. Fast forward to May 30th...my husband returned to work from a week long business trip, and was told they were making cut backs and had to let him go.
So here we are both with no jobs, a rent increase, a new car and a baby on the way. I didn't realize how bad the job market in Michigan was until we found ourselves in this situation. After no luck with the job hunt and him only getting $1400 a month from unemployment (and me being denied because I was technically still employed) we decided to put our pride aside and apply for assistance.
We initially given health insurance, $278 for food assistance, and they also paid one of our utility bills. The next month we were told that our $1400 income exceded the limits and our food assistance was reduced to $10 a month. And we couldn't get rent assitance because there were no children living in the home under the age of 18. And to make matters worse, our health insurance was taken away also. Eventually I got mine back because I'm pregnant.
We've pretty much gone through most of the money we had saved up, my job officailly fired me because "I could no longer perform the job I was hired to do." And because of the way our union contract was written there was nothing I can do about it. Our parents really help us out, but things are getting really hard. My husband has began to seek work out of state, which is going to be hard if it comes to that with us being first time parents. I try to stay strong for him because he feels like he has failed me. But I of course don't feel that way...ok, I guess I've bored you all with our little story.
Ok...time for an update. Again thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragemnet. I have been doing alot of research on-line about jobs in Virginia. I have an older sister that relocated here with her husband and they love it. Also my husbands aunt told her son that he was looking for work and he's in VA also. After a few rounds of phone tag his cousin told him that he got him an interview (with the U.S. Government) we drove down there last week, and he has gotten the job. (I got in so much trouble with my OB for takinga road trip 35 weeks pregnant) So we will be relocating soon. My husband will be staying with his cousin until he saves up enough money to get a place for us. We're in the process of moving most of our things to our parents houses. I'll be staying with my parents until it's time for me to move down there. His mom loaned us the money to break our lease, and between our familes they've paid the car note for us. So things are really looking up for us. It's going to be really hard for us to move away from our familes but it has to be done. I our main concern now is that he'll be able to get back here in time for the birth of Jordan. If there is anyone that seeking change for the better because of the economy I highly suggest if you're willing to relocate that you look into VA. I was amazed at how the job market there is thriving, and how much better they pay. Again thank you all and keep us in your prayers adn we start our new life in VA.
Hey L.!
I lived in Va. and LOVED it. Wish we would have never left! if you work with Children and want a family freindly agency to work for look into Texie Camp Mark Children's Center. They are an Early intervention and Head Start Agency. Best job I ever had!
Let me know if you do!
Good luck with the move and the baby!!!
Have you went to WICC for assistance? They have wonderful programs for women who are expecting and after having a child. I do not know about the income limits but I think with both of you unemployeed you may benefit.Just a thought.
How are things going now? Any leads on a job? What is your husband looking to do? What are you looking to do? Did you file for unemployment and did he?
How is the little girl? What were her stats?
I am looking for a job and will look for you guys too. once i know what you are looking for.
K. aka a busy mom
L. S.
Congratulations on the baby. Now you and your husband can work as a team, as many husbands do in Mary Kay Cosmetics. It is NOT like your moms mary kay it is better. We have been the number one selling brand for the past 13 years running. This is done by an independent study based on sales. I can show you how to do this with ZERO out of pocket, no sales experience required and you can make a six-figure income or more it is up to you. Go to my web-site, check it out and e-mail me or call me and we can discuss it, Always leave me a message as I am sometimes on my other line makeing money!!!!
www.marykay.com/cbalante or ###-###-####.
I know my husband works a regular job (Journey Of the BROKE), but his help to get my name out there helps. You can work around your family, save your home and car and not have to worry. All you have to do is be willing to talk to people. I can show you how to do this. IT IS EASY and FUN! And the products are great.
Now to be fair, check out other home businesses and see what they can do as well. You will be able to re-pay your family and not have to worry about getting assistance again.
Call me so we can talk.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I wished I'd of been offered help when I was married the first time around and his drinking made us HOMELESS numerous times. I fianlly left him and then found Mary Kay... Go figure! It helped me as a single mother of two boys in 1999 ages 11 and 1 1/2 years, I worked another job as well but did this too. I found the man of my dreams married and now I am home doing Mary Kay, and I just opened a booth to do my other love as a hair stylist. They do go hand in hand but I don't have to do this. I love mary kay products and what it has done for me. I know it can work for you as well.
The coupons for food the other gal is talking about is from
WIC (Women Infant & Children) this gives pregnant woman and their unborn child a good start nutritionally. It is all part of Heathly Start. Helps to get Low Income families as well as UN-Educated as well as Educated women the best begining for
their baby and themselves. Was orginally started for the uneducated families but due to needs in ALL walks of life has been there for women across the board! This is in Ohio as well as other states check out yours.
You and your baby will get FREE SHOTS from them as they have WELL CHECK CLINICS usually on a Monthly basis. A doctor comes in, they do a well check visit give shots and a pamphlet to send you home so you know what to expect from your child while shot takes effect. They sometimes give you EXTRA Free food when you visit like bread and fruit or peanut butter or goodies that they have donated to them for distrubtion.
Prayer is ALWAYS helpful.
Remember, sometimes we go through things to TEACH us a lesson. If we get the lesson we move on. If we don't we keep going around the same mountain until we do. Ask the Lord what he is trying to tell you. Pray about job opportunities for both you and your husband. If you listen HE will Answer.
God Bless you,
C. Balante
L.,
All I can say is that everything DOES happen for a reason. My husband lost his job when my son was 10 months old...and I was trying to start my own business from home. It was very hard as we had just purchased a house and a van. We were living on $800 a month at the time. It was horrible and yet God took care of us. And in the long run we were MUCH better off.
Hang in there and keep praying. :-)
M.
L.,
I was in the same boat as you. When I became pregnant with my daughter. We had just moved into a new place then my husband (Boyfriend at the time)was told he was getting let go (he was working in road construction and with MI state cut backs his company went out of business)Then I was put on complet bed rest. I lost my job as a Teachers aid. When we told the lady that we were renting from that I was pregnant and next thing we knew we had an eviction notice.(she didnt want kids there)(I know bad situatuion but we just got out we didnt want to fight it I couldnt take any more stress) We ended up moving into his fathers house. We got some assistance but then we got ours cut back. (we only had an income of 1000 from unemployment and then 400 went to child support for his daughters) as the state said since he paid childsupport out of pocket and it didnt come out of the checks we couldnt claim that as an expense. We borrowed money from his father so he could get a license as a merchant marine to make some money. He actually works for a company in Minnisota. We couldnt move because of the kids so hes gone quite a bit. But we are making it work. Anyways I just wanted to say it will work out. Dont stress yourself out about the house and car there are solutions to that try downsizing on the suv and see how you can get out of the lease of your town house. Can you move in with family untill after the baby and you start to get back on your feet? My husband felt the same way yours did. Just let him know how much you appriciate that he is trying and espically that he is sticking by you during this (a lot of guys start to feel the pressure and just bail thinking it will all go away) Together you are BOTH strong!!! Good luck and if you need to talk you can email me anytime at ____@____.com care,
D.
Dear L.,
Your situation broke my heart. So often we hear of families becoming financially devastated because of downsizing but your losing your job because of the pregnancy made it so much more difficult. Sounds like you had a good plan since you had money saved. How wise of you. For the sake of your baby you need to get some positive things going in your life and I can offer you one. It is an opportunity for you and your husband to work as a team (if you want) and never have someone else decide if you'll have income, where to live, or even when to work. If you'll email me at ____@____.com I'll give you more information. I have heard friends in business with us say circumstances similar to yours were some of the best things that ever happened to them. I am looking forward to sharing with you how it was with them and us as well.
Well for starters I would say pray if you believe in God, and there is the light house and FIA (Family Independant Agency) who will help out with your rent and other bills talk to your case worker with FIA who you have your Medicade thru, you would be surprised they will help out with a lot, I know they do it here in Pontiac where I live at. But I am praying for you. Ms.Jones
Wow, I can understand why you are overwhelmed. I hope things turn around for you soon. Now that you have lost your job, can you get unemployment for yourself? What about selling your SUV, and either living with one vehicle, or buying an inexpensive car to replace it? It would free up some cash and/or get rid of a monthly payment for you. It would also decrease your car insurance, and lower your gas costs if you bought a more fuel friendly vehicle. Having one less car payment would probably give you a little more breathing room. When my husband and I sold a vehicle and got rid of two payments we felt like we had a weight lifted off our shoulders.
Maybe that would help until you got back on your feet again. Also, in Minnesota, there is a program through the Dept. of Health that is specifically for pregnant women and women with children who need a little extra help (formula, food, info, etc.). I bet Michigan has a similar program. You could call the MI Dept. of Health or look at their website. I'm sure you would qualify.
I hope this helps. Try not to worry, and try to enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and enjoy that little girl when she comes! Everything will work out.
Best wishes. C.
Hi,
I don't really know what to say as far as advice goes because I haven't been in your situation, but just know that I can offer my prayers. I hope that your husband can find a job that will support you and your baby on the way. Stay strong and I'm sure things will work out for you. Good Luck and again I will be praying for you.
Take care,
E.
Hey there-
Well it really sounds like your going through a hard time. I'm so sorry! Here's my advice, take it or throw it away, it's up to you. I would try to move from the townhouse and sell the new suv. Those big trucks are a lot of many and will eat up a ton of money in gas too. Is there anyone that you could move in with? Just temporarily until you get back on track? I know nobody likes to do that, but it's better than losing everything you have. It's hard to give up your freedom but it would be worth it. Things will turn around, it will just take time. I wish you the best.
Hello L., Well I read your request and it's months later. I hope you are happy and baby is almost here or here and you are loving "Motherhood". You will grow so much and change as your child grows and changes her needs. I read most of the encouragement sent to you. They were all so kind, and as a mother of grown girls, the best ideas for work were the ones that suggested self employment of some sort. I have been fortunate enough to work from home since my daughters were 5 and 8 years old. They were able to have play dates and I was able to see what they were up to and what played on t.v. They are both college graduates now and working in Michigan, using the degree!
The network marketing company of my choice is Arbonne International and I have changed so much as a person working for this company. We have great skincare, even for Babies! Health/weight management products, great free training and just wonderful benefits. If you choose a network marketing company please do your family a favor and look into this one. Since you have worked with violent childern you will love the well being and positive life most network marketing jobs offer. Arbonne has monthly local meetings and also special trainings set up to train most are free. Free internet training at Arbonne University on line. If interested anyway one of us Arbonne Independent Consultants will share info. Or just answer questions to see if you want to find out more. First you will want to have a sample packet to see how much you love our products. Did I say we even have a special skincare line for babies? Our products are pure, safe and beneficial. No mineral oil never animal by products. Botanical based and hypoalergetic. You can set up tables at Mom2Mom events, Salons, craft shows etc. you will learn how to attract clients this way. ____@____.com
Well again by now I hope you are happy and love Virginia even though your family is in Michigan. Now they have a place to go visit and make it a positive experience in everyway. Life is precious.
I am curious how it is going now in Virginia?
I hope this are better L., I just wanted to make sure we connected because the opportunities that I have for you will change your life...They're changing mine. Please call these numbers and listen to the opportunities.
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all you can do at this time is stay strong i know how you feel i do a job that i should make like 650 a week and i have to take care of a 4 year old all by my self and all i get from my job is 250 a week 1000.00 total a month but some how i always make it i will pray for you what type of job can you do and in what area do yo live in i might can make a few calls for you i know a few people around let me know.....
:hug: Sounds like a rough time. The first thing to do is lay out your monthly budget - only the things you MUST pay. Then figure out what each of you needs to earn in order to make it happen. Even though you're pregnant, you can still wait tables, etc, if necessary ... some money is better than none! Sometimes we have to humble ourselves.
Don't forget about the food pantry - Loaves and Fishes downtown. They are wonderful. You just need to bring in photocopies of your ID's of everyone in the home.
Sue that company. They cannot fire you because of medical leave. I am serious, the same thing happened to my friend and she got all the money back from the time she got fired to the time she started working a new job. I am not kidding you will get some money out of that. But I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Keep in touch. And just to let you know, it always works out for the better.
Hi L.,
My name is L. Eggleston and I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. You mentioned Michigan in your story and I wondered what part you live in. My sister and her husband are youth pastors in Farmington Hills and are a young family.
I don't know if you are a praying person or not, but I will keep you and your husband in my prayers if that's ok with you. Take care.
As for the job situation, your husband should have a really good resume' and cover letter. It is worth the cost of paper and postage to sed this to as many companies as you can possibly afford. Many, many companies have jobs available that they are considering hiring for long before they actually decide to do it. An ideal candidate that drops in their lap during this interim is like manna from heaven - no advertising costs, interviewing 20 candidates, etc. But it's important that the cover letter makes your husband appear as someone another person would like to spend at least half an hour speaking with. People forget this. They think it's all busines, all cut and dried, but it's really people who make the decisions - I'm in H.R. so what I tell my friends - why would I want to commit half an hour of my time to someone who sounds completely stuffy and boring on paper? The key is confidence, professionalism, and and upbeat personality. You always want someone who really wants the job.
Best wishes to you!
Hi L.,
Im so happy you are happy congrats on the arrival of your new baby girl! I just wanted to tell you to continue trusting in the Lord and he takes care of everything, I am recently divorced with 3 small children and life was the worst for me but God works in mysterious ways sweetie, he knew i wanted to be home with my babies daycare was killing me working late too. But i was blessed to find a really good opportunity to work from home and have been more than successful with it. in a short time i was able to walk away from my job and work full time from home. The company is backed by the better business bureau and has an excellent reputation for almost 15 years, if you know someone that is looking for a financial way out PLEASE have them look into this wonderful job opportunity, its Ameriplan usa and the site is www.iboplus.com/40417843 it changed my life. Good luck with you and your husband and the baby may the Lord bless her to be healthy and happy.
-R. B.
L.,
I know how you feel! I am from Michigan and we had to recently move to Illinois, because there just is not a lot of work there! We have one son who is 4 and we have no family here either! My husband now has a job and I am working part-time, so things are better, but we still a struggling to get caught up with all the credit card bills we made when we first got out here! Can you sell your SUV or trade it in for something lower in payment? Can you try to get out of your townhouse, try to get someone to sub-lease it? It is hard moving away, but it is doable, you have to do what you have to do, and if your husband can get a better job out of state, go for it! It is scary to be pregnate the first time and be in this situation, but things will work out, but you have to try to make the changes to make your life better! We live in a little two bedroom apt., we moved from an 1800 sq. ft. house in MI. We decided even if I do get pregnate this year, we will stay here and get some bills paid off before we buy another house. You do what you have to do! I hope all works out for you, I will pray for you and your family, mean while, keep your chin up, and always think of the good things in your life, there is always someone in a worse situation than you, even though sometimes it feels you are in the worst!
Take Care,
G.
First, take a deep breath....and relax. Don't stress. Althought it may be difficult because this is a very stressful situation, you have to try and remain calm so you don't deliver early. When I was preganant, I was in a horribly abusive relationship. I was working 60/hrs a week, and it still "wasn't enough" needless to say I delievered my daughter 6 1/2 weeks early (almost 11 weeks early). Just let your husband know that he hasn't failed you. It was out of his control. Try and stay focused on what is around you now. Although it may not seem like the lifestyle you are used to, it will get better! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope this helped. Just keep you chin up! :)
Hi L.,
Nothing in your request was boring!! My goodness, you are experiencing very stressful times in your life. Congratulations on your marriage and pregnancy! I read some of the other replies and it seems they've addressed my first line of advice: Contact WIC (Women and Infants with Children). I'm sure you will qualify for their beniefits. While they don't provide "groceries" or enough for the family to survive they do help a lot with things like: peanut butter, cereal, milk, eggs, cheese and fomula once the baby is born. They also make infant/child immunizations available. It's been 7 years since I utilized any of their benefits so don't quote me on the specifics. I want to commend you on your strength and efforts so far. You have a lot on your plate yet you are still going strong! Good luck with everything.
M. M.
L.,
I would first like to praise you for staying as strong as you have through all that you have been going through. I am currently expecting a baby on Oct. 10. I have been going through some stressful finacial problems myself. I am going to be a single mother. I had to make a lot of decisions that I didn't want to make in order make things finacially comfortable for me and the baby. I am not telling you to do the things I have done, I'm just saying that you will do anything in order to make sure your baby is well taken care of and that is what I have had to do. I always tell myself that i can do without certain things, but my child can't.
In the last two months I have currently moved back in with family to save money for my maternity leave that I will not be getting paid for. I had so many debts to pay before the baby came that I couldn't do it anymore and I knew that I wouldn't be caught up before the baby came, it was stressing me out so bad and I couldn't stop thinking about how my stresses were effecting my unborn baby. I decided to file bankruptcy on everything except my car. So when I'm on leave I will still have to pay my car payment, car insurance, my storage unit, phone bill, gas and have extra money to buy things for my baby. So this is why I needed to save money for my FMLA. On top of all this I have been fighting with my ex-boyfriend trying to get him involved with my pregnancy and be a part of his babies life. It just seemed to be one thing after the next.
I have had a lot of support from my family, friends and co-workers. Things are finally starting to look up for me when I thought that it was just going to keep getting worse. I have been able to save money for my leave now that i live at home and my old debts have been wiped clean and I feel that I have fresh new plate to start on and I need that with all the expenses that a baby brings. I have had a huge weight lifed off my shoulders in these past two months.
You mentioned that you have applied for assistance. I live in Ohio and I'm not sure how things work in MI as far as qualifying for certain kind of assistance, but I have medicaid to pay for all of my medical bills for me and the baby. In order to qualify I couldn't gross more than $1900 a month. I don't know how it is in MI but you should be able to qualify if you are only making $1400 a month. I also get food coupons (not food stamps) and that gives me milk, eggs, cereal, juice, peanut butter and cheese every month for myself. When I have the baby, I will get coupons that pay for my formula. I applied for this support knowing that it will only be temporary until I get back on my feet because like others have said "you have to do what you have to do". I have had to swallow a lot of my pride and do things that I have tried to never have to do, but sometimes things happen that you aren't expecting and aren't prepared for.
Well, I think I've babbled on long enough. I just want you to know that things will get better, it may just be a matter of time. Until then try to get all the assistance you can qualify for until you get back on your feet. I have faith that things will work out for the best for you and your family. It did for me. Keep your head up and keep fighting for the sake of your baby.
K.
