Mom's Dealing with Autistic Kid

I have a 4 1/2 year old son that has been diagnosed with Pdd-Nos and ADHD. Everything was confirmed almost a year and half ago. I was refered from his therapist to Child Find here in Nevada and they did all the testing and got him enrolled in Early Intervention. It has been such a life saver for us. It's a long road and you need to have the patience of a saint (which I don't always have..trying to get better at it.), but it is good that you have family that is willing to support you. I would get him tested and talk with his ped and see what they say. If you need someone to chat with you can email me ____@____.com

I don't know anything about Autism, really. But I have read Jenny MacCarthy;s book, Louder Than Words, and found out some really interesting stuff. She talks about signs/behaviors of Autism. It's a great book and maybe it would be beneficial to you.

soundmore like ADD...also , very young...call International Dyslexia Assoc. LA Branch, in Tujunga Ave. Studio City, 91604, don't know if still same location
###-###-#### ask them, for assist.

Hi M.,
My 8 yr old son is with Asperger's and was diagnosed 4 yrs ago and doing so much better now with interventions. So, don't lose hope! I suggest you to immediately contact the school district for assessment (they have the legal obligation to do so but will take some time) and if you have insurance coverage, seek indepenent psychologist assessment too. (In my case, we liked Dr. Sandra Smith in Seal Beach.) You can contact TACA ###-###-#### and check out http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm for tons of information and support. I know it'll be overwhelming for awhile but I feel empowered to be able to help my son the more I know and get involved. In the meantime, also contact Regional Center serving your area for assessment. They may deny him depending on his functional abilities but it's a free service and will be real good if he becomes a client there. I'm also part of online support group for Autism Spectrum: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ocaspergersgroup

Help is out there. You're not alone. Hang it there!!

I am not an expert, but am so happy the other moms have offered some good leads. However one thought I wanted to share is from what I recently read in a book about the brain, that TV can be detrimental to very young children. Also, to increase a child's ability for empathy and cognitive development they need to look you in the face to activate mirror neurons in the brain.
Because TV and video games put thoughts and actions in the young brain before they are ready to analyze them, they may have a detrimental affect and may be a cause for ADHD and other behavior problems, too. (MONKEY SEE-MONKEY DO)
SO really,really, limit TV and Video games.

I hope this helps. ALso, if you want some fun behavior charts that are free, check out:
www.gomommygo.com
More power to you,
R.
PS -Also have you seen the news lately on increasing rates of autism and other neurological problems in kids since they increased the # of vaccinations 'needed' since the 1980's? Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy's son who has autism are trying to get the word out about the dangers to our kids. (article here):
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=3631870

sorry to hear about your son w/ cancer have you heard of the Bioimmune Center? my friend's father was terminal w/ cancer and they went there and he was cured..i think he went to the one in Arizona
sounds like your son is more ADHD perhaps? little boys in general have problems sitting still ..well a lot of them do..i once asked my friend's very brainy little boy if he had ants in his pants..he could not sit still ever..and he's totally normal..they're higher energy..i've heard that it's actually better if they have a lot of energy..healthier..i hope so b/c my 2.5 year old has been active since he was born..the first thing the pedi said was.."oh..he's very active"
i've also heard w/ autism sometimes a change in diet can change everything..i think Jenny McCarthy's book is all about that..maybe u should get that book or check it out?
do u give him fish oil supplements? have you heard of "kid's mellow?" you can get that at WholeFoods
also a strict vegan diet is often recommended for cancer patients..u probably already know that..and tests showed that combining broccoli and tomato in foods helped stop tumor growth in rats that were being tested w/ cancer.
also google kombucha mushroom and check out www.dragonherbs.com "Dragon2000"
good luck to you and your sweet boys
hugs
D.

I have a 10 year old son with Aspergers and it is a fairly new diagnosis. I have joined a online newsletter than I have found very helpful. They have great information on Autism and Aspergers. Go to www.essentialguidetoaspergers.com and join thier newsletter list. It is a biweekly newsletter and it is wonderful. I also recommend Jenny Macarthy's book about her son. It was funny and so touching but full of some great information that gave me a place to start in my research. One thing I've learned is that boys (especially) are quickly diagnosed with ADD/ADHD because it is so much like Aspergers or high functioning Autism. It could be a combination of autism spectrum disorders. An evaluation by a professional is critical. Don't start with the school district, have an MD do an eval. first, then take the diagnosis to the school and have them work from there, it will produce more (and better) results for you son. You have more on your plate than any parents deserves. My heart goes out to you. It is an overwhelming diagnosis with so much information out there it can be hard to wade through. The OASIS organization is a good place to start. Good luck!
G.

Hi M.,

If you and your pediatrician suspect that your son is on the Autism Spectrum, here are somethings that you should do:

Get referrals to have him checked out by the following specialists to see if there may some cause other than autism that may be responsible for his speech delays and inattentiveness: A neurologist to have him checked for possible petit mal (tiny seizures) that would cause him to blank out briefly; An ENT or audiologist to see if he has a hearing problem; A developmental pediatrician; A speech therapist to see what's causing the speech delay and just how delayed he really is; An occupational therapist (most kids with autism have sensory processing disorder and problems with their gross and fine motor skills); and an optometrist who can rule out of there is a visual disturbance that may be an issue.

Also, you will want to refer this matter to the school so that you can develop and IEP and behavior plan for your son so that he won't be lost in the system without special services and accomodations that will make school a whole lot easier for him.

Hi M.:

Have you read the book "Say Goodbye to Allergy-Related Autism" by Dr. Devi Nambudripad?

Wow, you've really got your hands full. I'm so glad you're getting help from your husband and you can support each other. I just wanted to mention there's a kids' gym in Lake Forest that specializes in gymnastics (and some other sports) for kids with autism. You may want to check it out...the number is ###-###-#### "Us Too Gymnastics". I hear it's wonderful.
Best of luck.
M.

If you are concerned call Early Intervention and ask for an assessment. I too had a pediatrician that kept telling me it was too early to worry. But I knew something was "off" with my son. I bypassed my Dr and got my son assessed. He has several areas where he was "behind" including speech. Now my son has 3 different therapists coming to our house once a week to work on different things. One therapist is an "english linguist" another is a "early childhood educator" and the other is an "infant behavioralist"
They have an excellent resource center and can also arrange for daycare or babysitting for you......for free from the state if your son qualifies.
Anyway good luck to you and I hope he does well!!!

Well, if you pediatrician is concerned, he should have provided you with the appropriate referrals for testing. If you son has speech issues, he should be receiving speech therapist. Is he? If not, run to a speech pathologist! Early intervention is key. His speech therapist will be able to help you in this area. Your school district can help, but that usually takes a long time.

Sounds like you have a lot going on with family. You need someone who can really help. If you son is autistic, there are support groups and organizations that can help.

Autismspeaks.com, TACA. They can help you get started.
I also konw of a great Speech Therapy Clinic in OC.
www.SLPSinc.com

As a mom of an Autistic child let me first tell you that there is hope and help out there...the earliest the diagnosis the earliest intervention can begin and help for your child can be on its way.Harbor Regional centers are a great source of information as well as your school district.You need to have a diagnosis by a Psychiatrist and or medical doctor,so check with your insurance plan and make appts right away.Let your school's principal and your child's teacher know you are trying to get a diagnosis and hopefully they can begin with an intervention plan right away.My son was diagnosed when he was 3 y/o and Thanks to God and all the help and early intervention he is doing Great!!Hang in there...may God Bless you and heal your child.

Wow you do have your hands full. I have a 6 year old girl that just started 1st grade. she has asperger's (high functioning autism). she also had a speech delay and is getting services to help her with that. I can recommend close talking communication with the teacher is a big help. Let him or her know right off that his dr. said he thinks he has it and that way the teacher will work with him and be alittle more understanding. I would have the school help you get the resorces and the help he needs before he gets frustrated and starts feeling bad about himself. I hope this helps a little I'm not sure where you live but if it's in the Inland Empire I know people that can also help you if you need it with him.
You are in my prayers,
Char

I know you have a lot of advice but I really have to comment on this. There are a lot of kids with expressive and/or receptive speech delays that are misdiagnosed with autism or PDD-NOS and a lot of misinformation regarding these neurological disorders. The regional center and school district that has been recommended CAN NOT make a diagnosis, they are not qualified. They can only evaluate your son for their services. If he qualifies, the services offered would include a special school and/or speech and other therapies. I would be very careful with the school district since you don't want your child labeled with autism if he is not autistic. Your ped should have referred you to a specialist such as a pediatric neurologist. Not being able to sit still at age five is definitely not a sign of autism, that is a sign of being five. The hallmarks of autism is social withdraw and repetitive behavior. Speech delay is one common trait but speech delay can be also due to a lot of different issues, sometimes there is just a delay or disorder, no underlying disease or cause. Speech delay alone or combined with high activity does not consitute autism. It sounds like your plate is really full but I really think it is important to get a diagnosis from a qualified professional for your son, maybe even two opinions, before getting involved in the school district.

My advice is to make an appt with the Regional Center in your area, or ask in writing for an eval through the school or ask the Ped. to give you a referral to a specialist in your area for an evaluation. Please don't wait...he will need some support even if he isn't diagnosed with autism, right? Good luck with this.
You have your plate full with 3 kids and one recv'ing treatment, and a teenager (yikes) good luck--

Hi M.,
I don't know where you live but, your local school should have resources to help you with your son. Have you contacted the Regional Center? You can get speech therapy for your son as well as occupational therapy depending on if he qualifies. Also through the Regional Center, you can qualify for respite which provides a break for you using trained people to look after your child while you take some time off. Go online and check out what is available in your community. There is so much out there in terms of support for parents of children with autism. You are not alone! Please get the help you need and deserve. Good luck to you! You are in my prayers!

Intervention is important, but the types of intervention vary widely. You need to choose what is right for your family. It can be helpful to have a professional in the field of autism help you sort through what you want for your child; RDI (relationship development intervention), ABA (applied behavior analysis), etc. You will need to decide if you will take a relationship approach or a behavioral approach. The following website is an amazing resource of professionals that can help you navigate all this regardless of where you live.
www.nourishedfamilys.com

M.,

My son will be 5 September 11. He's been in the school district's autism program since he was 3. We did early intervention for him for a year before that. My email address is teralee999 at hotmail dot com. Autism is a scary journey but I've been on it for several years. I'd be happy to help or just empathize. Whatever you need.

T.

If your child was on the low end of the autistic scale you would have known by now. Kids that are on the high end are harder to diagnosis. The Regional Center is a good resource, but for a definitive diagnosis you are going to need a professional who specializes in testing for learning disorders. Usually this is a PhD in psychology or possibly and MD. Speech issues can be caused by slower brain development, oral irregularities like tongue shape or use, hearing deficits during prime time speech development as a toddler, etc. Five year old boys are very active. The fact that he can focus for something that he is interested in tells me that he probably is not ADHD. He may just have a low threshold for boredom, indicating that he might be pretty intelligent. So go have the Regional Center do its assessment and if it doesn't seem to be correct you have the right to ask for a second independent opinion and here is where you find your specialist. My son had multiple problems with speech delay, hearing problems, ADD, gross motor skills problmes, social issues and we did not get a diagnosis until he was 19! Do not rely on the school district as your main source. I think your pediatrician was trying to be helpful, so ask for a referral to a medical specialist to rule out any neurological problems related to speech and hearing and attention issues. When you have all the testing done you sit down with the schools district representatives at an IEP meeting and try to get the best plan formed for a successful educational experience for your son. If the school gives you problems, you might have to find a lawyer to insure that the law is followed. There are pro bono lawyers out there that do this type of case a lot. Just a warning of what might happen and good luck and let us know what happens.

Hi M.,
First of all I wish your child with cancer a full recovery. I'm sure that is very difficult.
As many have suggested the school district is a good resource to start with. Honestly I wouldn't fret too much just yet with your son with the speech delay, and the hard time sitting. Autism is sooo much more. It is usually severe speech delay, and gross motor delay, many times epilepsy (seizures), inability to seem if they care, and many times it seems as if you are looking at a kid who doesn't acknowledge you.
My husbands side of the family has 2 girls both diagnosed MR and Autistic. They are his first cousins and are in their 20s and 30s. Our daughter is 4 and is epileptic (controlled with medication, because of their frequency) and didn't walk till 17 months, or talk even a little til she was 3, and didn't look you in the face until she was 3 and a half. She has physical therapy and speech therapy, and her early intervention tests didn't diagnose her with Autism. Here in Vegas, and I'm not sure where you are I think they aren't so quick to diagnose Autism, because speech delay and hyperactivity are common in children and especially boys! They tend to want you to wait for a diagnosis to make sure an accurate one can be given. My daughter is in the county preschool with all boys in her class, and they are just speech delayed, and there is an ADHD kid in there. Anyway, I will spare the rambling, but what I am getting to is, if this is the first time anyone has said anything to you about this, and you have other children, and up until this point didn't feel that he was all that different developmentally, I wouldn't be too alarmed. Even if he showed signs of ASD, they are probably mild, and it seems that people who don't know much about Autism want to label everything as such. Go to your school district, or to a neurologist that specializes in testing. I think it has to be a specific type of neurologist. Anyway, just have him checked, and you'll feel better. There is a strong possibility that he just has a speech delay.

You can ask the school district and/or the local regional center for an assessment. The sooner the better. Both of them can offer you free or low cost services depending on his disability. I can't diagnose him, but from what you've said so far, it sounds more like ADD.

Regardless, the school district is obliged to provide speech and other early intervention services for any child in their district that is diagnosed with special needs. Torrance and Redondo have a lot of programs, and LA Unified is getting better.

The Regional Center can assess whether or not he does have autism. If he is autistic they can offer a number of therapies, classes, support groups, even free babysitting (called respite care).

If you need to know who to contact, email me at ____@____.com, and I'll try to help you figure out who is the provider for your area.

Hi M.,
Sounds like you might want to watch closely and stay on top of his academics and behaviors. He is probably mild, and may "slip through the cracks"...until later. You should look into getting him tested and monitor his progress. Although it's nice to think he will adjust easily...in a class of 20-35 children he may not get the attention he needs to help him to be productive ane independent in his academic career. If you think there may be a problem, "EXTRA" help is available and it is NEVER wrong to err on the cautious side when it comes to your child's future.
School is very different from when we went and there is much more expected of each individual. If you need help, from the school or Regional Center,put it in writing and date it. Keep a copy for yourself and start a file/notebook for your son.
There are a ton of programs available...they are not always the right fit, but try what you think is right..... There are play groups, sibling groups, Parent groups...just so you get the support you need.
REMEMBER, the earlier and more help he can get, the better the outcome, later.
Take care of YOURSELF first!
Sincerely,
W.

Hi. My daughter was recently diagnosed and I would suggest a few things. First, let the teacher know what your doctor suspects. That way they can observe behaviors with a keen eye and relate to your child accordingly. Also, I have found some very good websites with info search "autism" and there are several very good books at the library. I know it's scary, but I think what have helped me is to have information. I hope this helps. :) (Prayer has helped me too!)

Well can he look you in the eye? If so I highly about he is autistic. I have known a few autistic kids and that's the one common thing THEY can not do. We were scared one of our kids who's bio mom is autistic would have it too, and that's even what they told us. :)

Now school is great if he is or isent. My friends 8 yr old started school 5 yrs of age she said it was a blessing, soon she was speaking and communicating its a world of difference what a speech person can do with a child. Even my child can speak now after school she says blue albertsons sign and just amazes me daily with her new found knowledge. Also they make friends is so cute. Even my daughter who never goes up to kids shes always been the one who wants a book and to be alone. But now she has a bunch of friends and so did my friends daughter after a few weeks of school. They also can help potty train if thats also an issue. That helped my friend who was busy with a newborn and breast feeding. I think school is great kids learn so much and they truely love it, even if its after a few weeks they will love it. :)

Good luck.

Regional center will do a free evaluation.

Before I would accept an autism diagnosis, I'd insist the MD do a blood test to see if your son shows elevated levels of metals (mercury, lead, aluminum...) because that could be the cause of his problems. I'd also ask for a test to find out if your son has a chronic bowel disease - those have been linked to autism. Depending on the test results, you and your MD can do some detox.
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate... hang in there!

M.,

I don't have any advice for you, but it sounds like you have a lot going on - to say the least. Know that you and your family are in my prayers.

God Bless,
M.

I just wanted to say I think doctors are very quick to say Autism when ever you have a high energy child. It sounds like there is a LOT of stuff going on in your home. I would look into it of course but most five year old boys have a hard time sitting still. As for speech now that he is in school ask for an IEP they have to evaluate him within 30 days. My son started speech at pre-school he is in kindergarten this year and is getting better it takes time. My prayers are with all your boys and you & your husband. Good luck.

Hi M.,
You can have a complete psychological evaluation for autism done at your Regional Center. I am a psychologist who does such evaluations, and I recommend that it be done at a regional center because it is provided by a licensed psychologist at no cost to you, and you will be informed about the available services. Your school district's special education division will also need to evaluate for services, also at no cost to you.

My daughter is in the Autism Spectrum. First have ped. refer you to ped. Neurologist that can give official Autism diagnosis. Then if autism, send dr. report to regional center -- if in OC I can get you the # and address. They'll tell you what services he qualifies for.

To network w/ other families and professionals (teachers, therapists, etc.) create yourself a page on:
http://autismspeaksnetwork.ning.com/

Fell free to e-mail me if you want to talk more.

Hi M.,

Wow, I am sorry to see all you are going through.

I have a six yr old son w/autism and a 3 yr old daughter with PDD/NOS. I can suggest to you that you get in contact with your local Regional Center, but your Ped. should refer you to a Ped. Neurologist, they usually will test him for auditory issues and lab work for fragile x syndrome too.

From your description, those are symptoms of autism BUT, it must be accompanied with other signs as well. If you go online you can look up symptoms/signs of autism. I remember, reading those and with what felt like a knife in the heart realized, that it did seem my son had autism. It's not the end of the world,though.

My best advice to you is if/when you get a diagnosis, get him help ASAP. Everything you'll read tells and I can vouch for it first hand, that it is priceless and crucial for his development.

I wish you and yours all the best and if you can find it online read a poem called "Welcome To Holland". It's a beautiful,uplifting piece I think about when I get sad about the cards my kids were dealt. It reminds you that life though not what you expected it to be does go on and that you still have a beautiful gift in your child. He is alive, and healthy and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If I can help any you know where to find me :)

A.

Having an Autistic child can be difficult and can also be a wonderful experience. I have a child who has several health issues that take him in and out of hospitals and is autistic.
If you ask your school district for an assessment they MUST do one within 30 days. Simply talk to the principal at your school, ask for an assessment and move forward from there.
Good Luck and hang in there! Autistic children bring so much to your life...Keep you chin up!

WOW! You surely do have a lot on your plate! I do hope you have good friends who can be a suport to you. With regard to your son, I had a studnet in my class who was autistic and his mother did what I considered a very wise thing. She came into the class without her son to talk to the kids. She explained that children are all diferent, etc., and that they may notice that her son has different ways of doing things, etc. She talked about how her son wanted to be friends but didn't always go about it in the same way as other children, etc., etc. It was very helpful for the kids and to me as the teacher. After that if I saw a situation starting to get out of hand or some child not being helpful, etc., I reminded them about what his mother had said, etc. Just something you might consdier doing. God bless you, M.. G.