Hi M.!!
I have both provided daycare and had my children in daycare, some of the things I would say...
FIRST AND FOREMOST, if you want to REALLY be able to talk to your potential provider, don't try going during business hours!! Maybe it is something some like to do, to see how it 'really is', but let me tell you... The kids are with one/two adults, day in day out, when a new person pops in, holy cow, new person, lets put on the naughty show!! If the way it is when a new person is in the house is how it was ALL the time, I think half of us would quit!! Drop in, but not with the intention of interviewing her, you take her attention from where it belongs, on the kids already there! I hate when I see parents cheering on just dropping in.
I've asked if they were or were not licensed. If not licensed, I asked for a criminal background check on all adults in the home, not just the ones present while my kids were there, things happen and someone who isn't normally there may have to be there. Ask for and follow up on all references (license or no), I prefer 3 - 5 personal references, maybe some from current or former clients. I would not write off someone who is not licensed, there are reasons they may not go through it. You are supposed to be the only family they have, though, if they are not licensed, aside from drop ins for a certain # of hours per calender year.
For all providers, I'd want to see their policies and some examples of how it's being followed. You KNOW when you are being inspected by the county and can prepare for it, same as an interview, so a licensor may not get the picture of how it really is day to day. That's why I don't hold faith in a license displayed on a wall!! Your instincts will tell you a lot, too. If you don't feel comfortable, don't go with her. I made the mistake once, completely impressed with her set up and her licensing and calm demeanor, but there was 'something' that made me feel like a toddler in a china shop and after one day, we terminated because she was NOT ready for an active toddler, she freaked cause my dd broke her glass flower she hadn't put up! So follow your gut. I found another lady after her whose house was smaller, messier, but got a great vibe from her and it went so much better!
-Why is she doing childcare?
-Special training?
-If she has other older kids, how will she physically handle your little guy while occupying the older ones? It can be done, but it's fun to watch! lol
-How many other kids and what ages?
-Does she let the baby cry it out - or other personal preferences you may have, one of my parents likes me to use baby sign language with their son and I accomodate - would she accomodate special requests?
-typical day
-menus (my parents prefer the baby's food is our food ground up before adding spices, I'm cool with that! I did it with my own kids) and where will child be fed?
-what supplies do you need to provide? I ask for sun block, diaper oinments, diapers (although I provide diapers for $25 per month from Sam's if it's easier), 2 changes of clothing
- I'd expect daily communication in writing or verbally!
- house rules for myself (your baby won't be breaking any!! lol)
-what areas will the children be in and how do you keep them OUT of the other areas?
-where will my sunshine sleep?
- Other adults home during day
- Safety precautions and emergency procedures
- Use of Provider's car, see the carseats and how they are put in, VERY important because I have seen so many put in wrong. The local police stations offer car seat services, showing you how to put them in, I'd go for myself!
- Other issues: pets, smoking, parent drop-in visits, religious training (my kids say prayers at their meals, I have been up front in every case before hand, in case the kids pick up on it!), methods of redirecting & training
Well, hope I didn't blather on! I hope you find a place you feel comfortable with. Something from the provider in me, I have LOVED, liked, and tolerated certain kids throughout the years (don't lie, guys, not many can adore every single kid - or more often parent!), make SURE your provider loves him or likes him. It doesn't make her a bad person if a connection cannot be made, it's just the personal bond. Make sure she's not willing to keep a child solely for monetary reasons. And treat your provider with top notch respect. Do not be late, do NOT pay late, do not feel ownership over her time. It's her job, in her home, with her family. Sometimes parents can do things that irritate providers and cause resentment. I've had it done to me and seen it done to others. We're important, your child is important!!