Mom Needs Help with Pacifier Issue

Why does she need to give the pacifier up now at 18 months? As she gets a little older you can work with her to find a replacement "soother" or she will natually outgrow her need for this kind of soothing. I don't think that using a pacifier or sucking a thumb will have any effect on the shape of a childs mouth or palate unless they are still using this after age 4... Kim G.

I completely agree with ANGELA W.'s response. We did that at three years old with my oldest son. Again, as others have mentioned, it really won't damage the teeth, but thumb sucking will. I felt like there is enough children go through, if something provides comfort, then give that to them in moderation. The "Paci" fairy works, and my son is now 5 1/2 and he mentions about the "paci" fairy...we also had a bottle fairy come for my daughter...and soon for my 5 1/2 we'll have the TOOTH Fairy! Hey whatever works and doesn't create fear of something biting the end of their beloved paci!

Hi M..
My name is B. and I am 38 first time mom to 2 1/2 yr old little girl. She never used a paci 24/7, only naptime and night time. When she was about 18mths old, I just decided today is the day and it got "lost" at nap time. Honestly, she maybe cried for 10 minutes then went to sleep. I thought wow that was easier than I thought. That night same thing. The next day she didn't even ask for it and has been free ever since. Her memory was much shorter that I expected and it was a non issue after 24 hrs. I know this isn't the cas with all kids, but regardless, even if it a couple of days of trauma, she will forget about it. You als mentioned you were interested in working from home. I work at home, if your interested, check out my website. I'd love to chat with you about it. www.liveyourlife4u.com
Good luck with the paci.
B.

We had a neighbor who had a baby and we suggested to my son, who was a little older than two, that maybe we should give it to the new baby. He agreed and we had a couple of hard days/nights, but then it was ok. While I think it bothers adults to see a child with a pacifier, I think if it gives your child comfort, there's nothing wrong with him/her having it as long as they don't have it in their mouths 24/7. They do give it up because you don't see too many 15 year olds with binkies in their mouths!

I poked a small hole in the end and eventually made the hole bigger. Sometimes when they don't get the suction they lose intrest. Unless they have an oral fixation, then everything is usually in the mouth anyway. Good luck.

We had the same problem with are youngest. We told him he could have it while we were in the house only. I was worried that he would not go out side, so we made play dates with the kids in the neighborhood. Oh yes it took time but it worked. After awhile he could only have it when he went to bed, oh yes he went to bed with no fight. I hope this helps you out.

About working at home, I think you should go for it if that is truly what you want to do. Your kids have there nap time so you have time to get things done with no interruptions. The one thing I would do is hire a house cleaner because you well get behind on that. Good luck on your new adventure.

I say give her time. I know she seems too big for it, but you do not want to cause her to have an oral fixation and begin biting. Try just giving it to her at night and nap times. That may help ween her. You could also make a game out of it and tie a bag on the branch of a tree and tell her that the binky (or whatever you all call it) fairy needs to take her binky and she will leave her something she likes (if she likes dolls or whatever). That way you put it in her hands. Let her get all her binkies and put them in there herself. You have to begin talking to her about it though, don't just spring it on her.

We started off slow. Only let her have it when she asks for it. Then only at the house. Then start by only giving it at nap and bedtime. Then try letting her fall asleep without it for naps. Then try bedtime. Bedtime will be the hardest and she will more than likely throw a fit, but that's only because she knows that if she cries enough you'll give it to her, that's why you can't give in. Just make sure you give her a transitional item like a bear or something. We let my little boy play with matchbox cars, he rolls them back and forth until he eventually puts himself to sleep. It will be hard, just don't give in. Goodluck

When my daugher had this problem with my grand daughter, her solution was to tell granddaughter that she could only use her pacifier when she took a nap or went to bed for the night. When grand daughter would ask for her pacifier, my daughter would ask if she was planning on taking a nap. Grand daugher would say "yes" and lay down in her bed. Because she wasn't really sleepy, she would only stay for a few minutes and then hand the pacifier back to her mother for safe keeping until the next time she asked for it. Grand daughter was also praised for her "big girl" behavior. Soon, the pacifier was not being used. Hope this works for you.

I recently heard an idea from a friend. She would take the pacifier at night and cut the rubber/latex part off while the child slept and put it back in the crib with her. In the morning the child would try to put it in her mouth and there was nothing to put in. They told her she might have chewed it in her sleep so that meant it was time to give up the passy. It worked for them, but you might have 20 pacifiers laying around your house and that's 20 potential nights of this!

What one of my friends did is every day she cut the pacifier down a little more at the tip until there's nothing left for them to suck. She had twins, and this worked for both of them. I just went cold turkey when my daughter turned 14 months. I thought she would have a fit, but it actually went extremely well, and she only asked for it twice, but I just told her it went "bye bye". Good luck!!

M.: Try cutting the end of the pacifier off. Then week by week cut it shorter and shorter. They will usually give it up themselves then, since the sensation is now different. Hope that helps.

hi M.,

children suck to soothe themselves. if you project this ability into the future for being a teenager and adult who is frustrated and having a hard time, you would want for her to know this ability well...believe me. the alternate is to let her suck her thumb, which is safer on many levels. the thumb placed into the mouth massages an area of the brain located at the back of the roof of the mouth. this part of the brain delivers soothing brain chemicals that calm the nervous system! incredible....
also, pacifiers are full of chemicals, and according to scientists, like candace pert, who cares about the wellness of our children, states that it is plastics that are the cause of our rampant cancers.

please check out and research what i am saying, here. i have had 18 years to read and do alot of inquiry for my own grown children....who are fabulous and pretty able to take care of themselves. none of us are perfect, but we can learn to support all life, as a practice.
peace

I'd try to see if you can cut her need for it down to naptime/bedtime. If she won't do that maybe put something bitter tasting on it whenever you give it to her and maybe she'll assiociate the bad taste with the paci. I have to disagree with a previous poster about thumb-sucking being preferable to pacifiers. I worked as a dental assistant for several years and learned in my training that thumb sucking is very bad for the developing teeth. The thumb is placed in a way that it will push out on the top teeth and will eventually cause the teeth to shift causing an overbite and possibly the need for expensive braces later on. I'd much prefer a pacifier than that...also because of the fact that pacifiers CAN be thrown away or lost...thumbs can't.

Hi M.!

Here is what my pediatrician told me when I posed the same question about the pacifier, about potty training and about sippy cups as well. At one point I was doing the same thing as you:

"Your son will not go to Kinderarten wearing a diaper, nor will he be 13 walking around with a pacifier or sippy cup in his mouth. Let nature take it's course and once you relax he is going to drop all of that when he is ready! Why put yourself through the torture, Jill?"

That is one of the the best pieces of advice I ever got! Children are young for such a short period of time - let them be babies/toddlers/children.

Granted, my son only had the pacifier during naps, at night and in the car, as he got older. He wasn't allowed in stores with it as he got older. Eventually he lost interest in it.

Not your fault, of course but why is there a "timeline" to wean all these things, based on some supermom standard? "I have to have my child weaned from a sippy cup by this age, I have to have my child potty trained by that age. Oh - and God forbid my toddler walks around with a pacifier in his mouth." These "crutches" as I've heard them called before are tools used to comfort them. Why put yourself through that?

Think about it: What do you use to comfort yourself? A hot bath? A glass of wine? A good book? If you smoke, would you want someone to pull away your cigarettes? If you have a glass of wine to relax, would you want someone to take that away from you? YOU know your children best. Let the chidren be children and let them figure out when they are done with their comfort items. I'm sure you're doing a great job taking the best care of your children.

By the way, my boys are 6 and 7 now and their teeth are perfectly straight. My oldest had that pacifier till just after age 3, and they both potty trained close to 4, and still have an occasional sippy cup. The world continues to spin... :-)

Good luck to you and best wishes!!

Hi M.,

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P. O.

First, I only let her have it in the bed for nap and at night. Then I told my daughter that on her birthday (3rd) the "paci fairy" would come at night and get her paci and take it to babies that still needed it. She didn't need it anymore because she was a big girl! We talked about this for a while (about a month) before we did it. She cried a litte the first night but after that was fine. I think because she knew it and we discussed it helped. She still mentions it some, but loves that a new baby has her paci's and it helps them now! Sounds silly, but it worked. Good Luck!

I have heard several ways to try to get rid of the paci. One of my friends told her son that Rudolph had some babies just before Christmas. Rudolph needed as many paci's as he could get. So he went and got all his paci's on Christmas Eve and left them with the cookies.
Another one is, this little boy liked to watch the squirrels (you could use any animal the little one likes) and the mom would clip the end off the paci and tell the little boy that the squirrels must have eaten it while he was asleep. Every night she would clip a little more off until there was nothing. And the little boy didn't care about it anymore. It's worth a shot.
Good luck!
D., NC

She DOES NOT need it, so take it away. I'm really surprised by the number of parents who let their kids have pacis past 6 months of age. A child should learn to cope with fears and stress on their own and not with a paci. I think most parents are more dependent on pacis then their kids are.

I have 3 children one of who never had a paci, and she has perfect teeth by the way. The 2 others were taken off pacis at 4 months (by the way the rooting reflex is gone by 3 months, so why does your child need to suck on a paci?)

How will your kids learn to comfort themselves if you let them have pacifiers? Well, actually they won't and then you end up with a screaming 3 year old who won't let her paci go. C'mon now.

I also have 3 children with only one really dependent on her pacy! Finally, when she was old enough to understand,we wrapped it up and placed outside near our door for the angels to come take....for other little babies! We talked about other babies who needed a "nana"! It worked! Good Luck!
I am also 38 years old and a mother of 3 who works from home~would love to tell you about what I do. Feel free to email me or call ###-###-####.
Good Luck M.!
~M.

My cousin tried poking holes in the pacifier with a needle and her daughter didn't get the same satisfaction out of sucking on it, so she stopped using it. Good luck!

Hi M.,
I have a 2 1/2 yo that I was not able to breast feed for as long as I wanted. Her brother was on the breast til 21 months. So I figured I'd give her til 2 then we would have the "give it up" discussion. Well, I noticed she is surrendering it more & more on her own. So, for now, I have decided as long as she is on the path to letting go,(with gentle reminders, like no passy at the table etc) she can have it for comfort, at nap & at bedtime. As we approach 3 she will be told she needs to be finished for her birthday. Hope this helps you. :)

P.

I do the same as Laurie below mentioned. Also, check with a pediatric dentist (just call, they'll usually give advice over the phone), so that you're assured there's no dental damage to be done... alot of times it seems like it's more us that wants the passy gone for social reasons. I'd make sure it's a positive transition, so that she doesn't feel like she's bad for wanting it. My approach with both of my kids, was to treat it like it was no biggie (refusing to allow other mom's rolling eyes to bother me, and refusing to try to fit into 'the perfect society child mold')I keep his paci handy, within eyesight view for him, but he doesn't seem to care anymore...as of right now, my son who turns two today, only uses his paci at bedtime, and that's only when we put him in the bed - once asleep, we'll find his paci on the opposite end of his crib. My oldest, gave it up on his own 100% at 1.5 years. Each little one is different, but rest assured she will not want it when she's 18!! I talk regularly with our pediatric dentist, and have received outstanding advice from a professional!

Good luck, I know you'll make it through - and so will your daughter :)

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Blessings to you,
T.

I have a suggestion that worked with my kids....I started letting them have it only at naptime and bedtime. The rest of the time I tried to keep them entertained and they wouldn't think about needing the pacifier. Hope this works for you!