Memory Issues - Billings,MT

Hi C. - My memory goes when I'm stressed out or when I'm not getting enough sleep. If you are a first-time mommy, then you're probably both of those things. Not to mention, now you're having to keep track of all the baby's things which only makes things worse.

Here's some steps I had to take just to keep my sanity - it mostly involves some simple strategies to get organized.

First off I have to write everything down on the calendar no matter how small or how much I should already remember - appts, birthdays, school parties, snack schedules, picture day etc. It's not as hard as it sounds. I keep my whole schedule in one place. I use a calendar with big boxes and keep it next to my phone so if I make an appt I can put it on the calendar right then. Windows calendar on the computer works great too - it can even set reminders. I also send myself emails if I need to remember something.

The next step is to find one place to drop your keys, purse, sunglasses, cellphone when you come home. I have a built-in desk in my kitchen so my keys go on the hook and my sunglasses and phone go in cubby and my purse goes below on the counter. Even small things help like designating one purse pocket to use for your keys, etc. so that you dont have to go digging around.

That solved about 90% of my problems right there. Another thing that helped keep me on track and on time with the baby was to keep a diaperbag packed and ready. Diaper supplies, formula, bottled water, bag of cheerios, change of clothes, binky and a couple of toys etc. It was my husband's job to keep it stocked so I didnt have to worry about it.

I hope that helps you. I figure writing something down on a calendar is like delegating the responsibility of having to remember it.

Best of all things to you!

Write it down! Everything. Get yourself a good calendar and a notebook and write all appts and dates on that big calendar and put notes in your book. My life is so busy and I have many commitments and everyone is being pulled in many directions at once. It's easy to forget or get mixed up, especially if that's already in your blood! My mother in law used to forget she agreed to be our sitter, forget an important appt, forget to meet us when we had planned etc. We bought her a big wall calendar and now she writes it all down immediately, while she is on the phone with us or the doctor or whoever with all the details and she checks it first thing every morning. It has made a big difference. I know I couldn't live without mine!

I have the same issue and it's frustrating. Here's what I've done to help:

- Got a PDA. That way, I can mark down appointments, etc., in real time and don't have to remember later.
- Write EVERYTHING down that I need to do. I carry around a small notepad and pen in my purse just for that reason. I also have a dry-erase board on my refrigerator too.
- Keep stuff in the same place so I can find it later. Keys, purse, tote bags, jackets, etc.

The other thing I did was go to my doctor. He did a complete blood workup on me and found that I was have thyroid issues, which can really cause brain-fog and faulty memory. That could be an issue and the blood test is pretty inexpensive if you don't have insurance.

Good luck!

sounds like anyone would have gotten mixed up with those date changes...but I'd say start writting everything down! (By the way, you have to tell the family, just as a common curtousey, but don't stress about telling them because if nothing happened they won't be mad, and if they do get mad they're not good enough friends to frett over losing) here's what to write down (to help your memory): write down schedule things in a planner (keep it with you constantly), write down (on a white board) things you're working on that day, write down things that you wouldn't normaly write down just to help solidify it in your memory. I've also read that doing Sudoku Puzzles and cross words helps excersize the brain. Sudoku's are easy as long as you start with easy level ones. I try to do one a day. It'll also help with your first time mommy sanity ;) Good luck!

You can't do anything about the past but you can improve the future! Don't beat yourself up over it. I go and get my blood tested about every year. I have never said anything to the doctor about any mental issues but he brought all my levels up to par and my mental functions have improved. I take thyroid medicine, progesterone, vitamin D, amino acids, and B vitamins. He did say specifically that the progesterone, vitamins B and D, and the amino acids would improve my memory. I feel great and my memory is a little sharper.

For the vacation thing, even though it's probably really no big deal, I'd tell them, just so I'd feel better. I'm sure they'll be fine with it.

For the memory, I'm the same way. As has already been mentioned, sleep deprivation can definitely impact this. I have an iPod touch and mostly use it for the calendar. We have our computers and my husband's work computer all linked to automatically update the calendars. I live by it because otherwise I would be doing similar things. I have been doing the Isagenix diet recently and love it, because in addition to loosing weight and having more energy, I'm also much more efficient, memory included. Anyway, I take that calendar everywhere with me and do, literally, live by it. I never go to bed without checking it for the next day. I also have a daily schedule posted in the office so I don't forget things. I also have a weekly white board calendar that I post the details of each day on -- appts., obligations, etc.

There are other supplements you can take to help with memory, but as many as I've tried, I've never noticed much difference other than this one. I know how frustrating it is. I'm regretting having bought a two story house because I'm tired of getting upstairs (or down) and not knowing why. On the plus side, I am getting lots of extra exercise. :) GL! Hope you find something that works for you!

C., are you using a lot of NutraSweet? I began having memory issues (i.e. walking into a room and forgetting what I was there for, etc.) and then realized there was hidden NutraSweet lurking in my vitamins! It is a neurological toxin (do a search on the web and you will find lots of information on this). This may not be the issue, but it's a good place to start.

Blessings to you and Happy New Year!

I apologize in advance for this answer being so long.

You really have two questions here. Yes, you're right, of course you need to tell your friends. You would want to know if a mistake like that had been made with your four-footed (or two-footed) child. If they are angry, well, you can't blame them because you are angry with yourself, so expect it.

Some close friends asked us to take care of their dog at our house for a few days (several years ago). He was a very tiny, happy little guy, and my friend even said he was so good at following people we would probably not even need a leash on him outside. So we ignored the leash... and he cut and ran! (We should have kept him on leash, whatever they said, because we already knew that dogs are very practical; they know that if they're with someone other than their person, they may not have to obey their person's rules!) It took almost two hours on a cold December night to find him - just after he had been run over and killed. He's buried in our back yard. We all are still friends - but they have never asked us to dog-sit since, and I still feel bad thinking about the whole thing.

So 'fess up and tell the truth and take your medicine. Afterwards, give or send the dogs a treat they enjoy (an approved type of bone, perhaps) or give your friends a gift card to the nearest pet supply store.

Now you need to do something about remembering. You're too young for Alzheimer's, but if you're really worried, you could talk to your doctor (who won't laugh).

Mothers have SO many things to keep track of that it's easy to mix them up. When my children were growing up, they earned a lot of nickels from me by finding where I'd left my car keys! What's worse, once (just once!) I was juggling so many things in my brain that I forgot to pick up my daughter at the orthodonist's; this was before cell phones, and it took her two hours to get hold of her dad to pick her up. Me? I was out running the rest of the errands I had to do that day! Forgetting one's children is truly embarrassing!

That fact is that our brains start traveling in too many directions.

I suggest you revert to a very old-fashioned system, at least for the next six months. Get out to the store this weekend, buy a one-year paper calendar, AND put it up on the wall of your kitchen. This is so the calendar can't run away to anyplace else in your house (making you wonder where IT is). It doesn't have to be fancy, but it has to have spaces big enough to write several things down by each date. Get a pen with a cap, and fasten the cap with a string to the same tack that holds the calendar.

Now, whenever you have ANYTHING specific to do - from pet-sitting to some sort of appointment to somebody's birthday - WRITE IT DOWN on the calendar immediately! It will take a few days to get into the habit, so start right away. Let it be your brain for these matters. Get everything down on paper. Those little blank spaces will fill up quickly, and you can refer to your calendar every time you walk past.

If you feel you need something like that when you're away from the house, get a pocket calendar or just a purse-sized notebook. Keep a pen attached to it and WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN - even things you're sure you won't forget. This is training, remember.

Think of this old-fashioned calendar as a personal assistant. While you do things that only you can do, you've delegated to your assistant the job of keeping track of appointments and events. All you need to do is to check with it - and there it is, right in plain sight.

I do a lot of work on my computer, and I keep a pad of sticky notes there. When I think of something else I need to do, I jot it down, stick it where I can see it, finish what I'm doing, and then deal with my sticky notes.

Pick a specific, easy place in your house where you will always put your car keys when you come home. If you can, put a little dish there so you can plunk your keys into it every time. I recharge my cell phone in the same place I put my keys.

Depending on how your house is set up, pick your desk or somewhere else as the dedicated spot for papers - put them there right away and work on them there. You can't take care of the papers right away, but you can train them to wait for you in the area where they should be.

After six months, check how you're doing. Is life easier? Are THINGS more manageable? Are you getting done what needs to be done? Would a different kind of calendar work better for you? My daughter uses a dry-erase type, but that doesn't work for me because I schedule things more than a month in advance. Some friends use their fancy cell phones with the appointment calendars, but I don't keep my phone on my person when I'm at home. If you realize that another type of assistant would work better, "hire" that one. But if the paper calendar is working, keep with it.

Hope this helps. Start now and soon you'll have developed a good system that serves you well.

First off take a deep breath. If you have true friends they may be a bit upset, but it shouldn't cause any huge riff. Just tell them the truth and how awful you feel. My friend has taken care of my dogs and has forgotten to let them out ( I didn't even have a doggy door) and my pups were no worse for wear, just a bit clingy. She felt so bad and it caused no problems between the two of us, if anything she is now paranoid about forgetting them when she watches them. As for memory, being a mommy just sucks brain cells right out of you. Its worse for me around the holidays, because stress makes my memory worse. ( Cant tell you how many things I have lost in the last few weeks) The trick for me is to write everything down. I have a white board that I write everything on by the door and have a mini calender in my purse. Also it helps having a shelf and key hook by the door. Get into the habit of always putting your stuff in the same place. I am not very organized, but a little goes a long way. I wish I could help you with the walking into a room thing, but still haven't found a way to fight that bit of forgetfulness. I found that also exercising and having me time to read or do puzzles help. You dont say how old your little one is, but lack of sleep could be an issue. I noticed as long as there is no stress I have improved over the years as my daughter got older. If you still are concerned next time you go to your doctor talk to them too. Good luck.

You're a first time mommy. How old is your baby? Are you still losing a ton of sleep? This can definitely effect your memory. Did you hear of or get "Pregnancy dummies" while prego? My hubby says mine never went away. Granted, my almost 4 year old and 2 year old are up several times each night and I haven't had a good night's sleep for 4 years.

There is a book I recommend - Relax, Focus, Succeed by Karl Palachuk. He teaches steps to become organized in your mind.

I agree to write everything down - the faintest ink is stronger than the best memory! Granted, that won't help find your keys (I am always doing that too!! I just set them down wherever lol) but it will help you keep days straight, remember appointments (a PDA where you can set an alarm is helpful - and many cell phones have that included now!), remember what to buy at the store, etc.
As far as the issue with the dogs, give yourself a bit of slack first - plans changing and getting as complex as they did can throw anyone off! (Again, writing it all down will help, but my goodness, I was confused (: ) I would tell your friends something like "so, I got a bit mixed up on the days, and missed your dogs for a short time, but when I realized it I went back right away and made sure everything was fine, and gave them all the loving they wanted." They'll probably be okay with it, but it might help them understand if their dogs are a bit more "clingy" for a while. Don't make it into a big deal, but don't not mention it either.

And, I would suggest going to the doctor, especially if it has been getting worse. He can do some tests to rule out any medical, metabolic, etc, issues. And he can give you resources (or refer you to someone who can) to help improve your memory. You can actually train your brain to be more retentive!

You are certainly making this bigger than you need to. Your friends are right, no harm no foul. I wouldn't stress your friends out by telling them. The animals are fine and were not in danger in any way. You made a special trip back to take care of your mistake, they are lucky to have a friend so concerned. You need to look into the situation and try to identify why you feel they need to know, is it to make YOU feel better? or Is it because you think THEY will benefit from knowing? or Is it going to make them upset and worry? Sure seems like you need to tell them to make YOU feel better and there will be little to no benefit to them.

I am like you, I want to be honest on everything, I feel guilt and all that. I also, however, feel a strong sense of making sure I don't make things bigger than they are. Now if one of the animals were injured, sick or had died from your mistake, totally different story. You would HAVE to tell them. In this case they would need the information as to what happened to proceed correctly.

Do ya see the difference? In short, don't stress THEM out just to make YOURSELF feel better. =)

As far as your memory, Let me know what you find out. I am the worst and this is exactly the type of thing I would do. The only thing that seems to help me is, I put everything in my phone calendar so it beeps me all the time (and I mean everything, silly or not). I also, always notice that if I am being really forgetful it is usually because I have too much on my plate and have to cut back a bit.

Good luck and don't beat yourself up!