I'm going to try and keep this short. My abusive ex was absent in my daughter's life for 4 years because he said it was "too painful for him because she constantly reminded him that I wouldn't take him back." Last year, he got his 17 year old girlfriend pregnant and moved in with her and her psychotic mother. It has been a stressful year and a half for all of us; I have even had to get restraining orders against both my ex and his wife. They have used her to get revenge on me (my ex because he's upset he doesn't control me anymore, his now wife because I'm the ex and she's jealous, and her mother because she needs to be institutionalized) and she was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis last year. They think the symptoms started coming on because of the stress of going to see him and what they put her through. My husband was recently hired on at his job (he was under contract before) and so we recently got medical insurance. My ex told me that he had a medical card fr her. I told him that I needed the name of the company, the plan, when the coverage started, and the benefits so that I could let our insurance company know. He sent me a nasty email back claiming that he had sent me a letter at the end of last year telling me that he had insurance for her and what the benefits were, etc. I never received this letter or a card. He made a big deal that she was on Medicaid at the time and that he hoped I "did not use the Medicaid to get out of paying the required copays" (this is the guy who hasn't paid his child support and hasn't paid a dime on her medical bills her entire life. He said he called her doctor's office and blamed me for not informing them of her insurance and gave them the information and told them that they are to call him whenever she gets a referral even though I'm her primary custodian. He also said that he was going to refuse to give me the insurance card now until a judge orders him to. What I don't understand is if he really did insurance for her last year, why would he not check to make sure I got the letter and not tell me he has a card for me until the end of August. I'm just fed up with everything he does. He refuses to give me the information at all so that I can let our provider know. Is there anything I can do?
Thank you so much for the great advice. I have talked to my lawyer and we are going for mediation at the end of the month and then a court date if nothing gets resolved (which I don't think it will because he's already said he won't cooperate). My lawyer has a feeling that they are going to fine him and make him pay attorney fees as well as give me the insurance information. Right now, we are just going to stick to our insurance and request the court order him to pay half the fees that he's required by law. He said that the judge might order that I have full legal custody since he's proven time and time again that he won't put her first and puts her wellbeing second to revenge and jealousy. He said that my ex is shooting himself in the foot and is on his way to lose his rights and my husband will be able to adopt her, which would be wonderful. I know that's what is in her best interest because her stepdad has been "Daddy" since she was 2 and my ex has never done anything positive for her besides donating a sperm. There is a court order for the child support that he hasn't been paying, so that's going be brought up too. I also called her doctor and found out that he actually never contacted them, so I'm not sure what he's trying to pull. I'll let you know how court goes. Please pray that the judge will see through him this time.
B., you asked "Is there anything I can do?" Yes. Get a lawyer! What a nightmare you. Good luck.
B.,
Contact the Department of Human Services for your area and ask them to help. They can and will help you collect child support and the medical information. You'll need to fill out some paperwork and send in a copy of your divorce decree or child custody agreement. You'll also have to probably sign an affidavit on how much child support he has/hasn't paid to you. If he is working they should garnish his pay. I'm not sure where you live but here in Colorado DHS will stick it to you if you haven't paid child support. Usually they will garnish the regular payment plus a portion of the arrears balance.
