Making over a Wedding Ring

My wedding/engagement ring is my mom's ring re done. My brother never had a problem with it because it wasn't a matter of erasing her memory but preserving it. I can tell you exactly what part of my ring is my moms.

No WAY do I think it's being disrespectful, not at all. That's his issue, and I'm sorry he feels that way, but I strongly believe heirlooms should be shaped and used for generations to come, not packed away in a box in the name of "respect." I hope my daughters do whatever they want with my jewelry when I'm gone (though there won't be much LOL!)

My best friend did this with her grand mothers rings. She had the design planned out as long as I have known her (since college). It is a beautiful design and incorporates her style with her mothers memory. I think it's a wonderful idea!

It is very sad your brother feels this way. I think your mother would be thrilled and honored you did something with her diamonds that you will love. I hope someday my diamonds do not sit in a drawer unused.

I am doing the same thing with my mom's ring.

Oh heavens. Your brother has NO idea how a mother would feel about her daughter wearing her rings. He is dead wrong, and I mean it. Your mother would dearly love for you to do it, S.. Please ignore your brother and do this. Absolutely do this. It's wonderful and an HONOR to your mother. It really is.

Dawn

Not at all. She left them to you to wear with love and joy. My grandmother left me a GIANT Aquamarine ring (my birthstone). I would not have worn it as a ring, so my husband had it reset at a necklace years ago. My aunt was very upset that I "redid" her mother's jewelry, but you know what? I wear that necklace all the time. As a ring it would have sat in my jewelry box.

Point being... it was hers and now it is yours. I love the idea of having the stones reset into a beautiful and "artsy" band. Enjoy it!

I think it's an honor to your mother to wear it. It brings a part of her with you every day! Tons of people re-use rings too...even before people have passed.

Ignore your brother and wear it if you want to.

Unless they are antique and valuable because of the design, I think it is a wonderful idea. Find a place that does custom jewelry and discuss with them the idea. They may be able to come up with a design that is both to your tastes and keeps some of the essence of the original design.

Absolutely, have it designed into something you can wear! It's a touching, sweet and personal tribute to her. Enjoy it always. :)

Is there anything of similar value your brother would be able to cherish? (Or is he just a little resentful?)

Congratulations on finding such a wonderful surprise!!

I don't think it is disrespectful, however, I would take my brother's feelings into consideration. Maybe ask him how he would feel if you made it into a right hand ring. Or you could wear it on a chain. If you don't feel an urgent need to make it your engagement ring, I would find something everyone feels comfortable with.

Your brother has it all wrong. He wants to remember the rings like they were when mom wore them.

Gio ahead and remake them in a nice way and you will be honoring her memory and the rings will live on to the next generation. She would be thrilled that you are donig this.

Just make sure you go to a reputable jeweler and have them help you with your design.

Enjoy wearing your new ring in honor of mom and yourself.

the other S.

PS I had a ring made with a large peridot in honor of both my parents as they were born in August.

Do it! I refashioned my grandmother's diamond into a pendant because I would've never worn the ring as it was. I think our mom's/grandma's would want that - for another loved one to wear it with love how they choose. Your brother needs to lighten up and respect the fact that you would wear it with joy. Is he a tad jealous that you got the ring and is saying it's disrespectful out of envy?

Make it the ring you want and enjoy it. Life is too short and what a great way to honor your mom!

Not disrespectful at all. You can either leave it as is, and let it collect dust, or, you can change it into something you will enjoy and wear. I'm sure your mom would much rather you enjoy it than store it!

Are there multiple stones in the set? My mom took my grandmother's rings and had the stones reset into necklaces for herself, her sister in law, and all the granddaughters. It was a great way to recycling the memories.

I'm currently in possession of my mom's wedding set and quite frankly I have no idea what to do with it. She's still alive (she didn't want to keep anything expensive in her house any more) so it seems the right thing to do is just to keep it in the box at the bank.

Make sure you make an expensive one! ;)

Seriously, I would talk to your brother about what is really bothering him. Don't just go and do it without doing so. Clearly he is still really upset about your moms passing or something else is bothering him. I am not sure what type of relationship you have with him, but I think you could explain to him what it means for women to be able to do this, that mothers/daugthers love this type of connection. Then he would be able to see what a true honor it is, quite the opposite of what he is thinking!

I think its honoring your mother by re-tooling it. Would you be upset if your daughter one day re-tooled your jewelry? To your brother, who wouldn't wear this, the entire ring represents your mother and changing it maybe feels like you're dishonoring her memory. Jewelry and styles change and evolve and you're taking your mother with you in changing the ring. It's not her ring anymore, its yours. Have fun designing it.

I have several pieces from my grandmother, but my prized posession is a pinky ring (fits on my ring finger) that she had made from her original diamond from her engagement ring. I love the filigree and design of it. I wore it as my wedding ring for many years of my first marriage so now I don't know what to do with it. It sits in my jewelry box. I love the meaning of the diamond and the design so I feel a little stuck...

Oh..I think this is a beautiful story that will be passed on for generations. Take some pictures of the original ring on your finger before re-tooling it.

That ring will live on and have a story to tell with each future hand it graces. I hope you have someone special to pass the ring to when you greet your mother again someday..and it may get molded and shaped again to the liking of the special lady that wears it.

Talk to your brother again. Tell him your mom lives on through all of you and how you live your lives. We don't do everything exactly as our parents taught us or showed us...but we take what we learned from our forbearers and mold it to our own situation. I don't know your mom...but if you feel she wouldn't mind then go for it. If she is anything like you then she is probably anticipating, while watching over you, to see what you re- tool it into.

Enjoy the "new" ring. ;)

any mother would want there child to enjoy it even if you revamped it. brides are using there mothers wedding gowns and giving it a modern make over. why not. I will say my husband side of the family has a "grandmothers" ring. Its nice. A larger diamond my mil never wore it because she said " no one would ever think it was real its so big" my sil received it after my mil death. she said the exact same ting. She mentioned to us she was considering cutting it up and making smaller diamonds. Which would devalue the diamond and we all jumped on her and told her not to cut it up. She could make a necklace drop or something else but she should not dare cut it. (fyi its about the size of a pea, larger than a pencil eraser ) So I see no issue with revamping it as long as you keep the value of the ring.

If it has more sentimental value to your brother I would give it to him because it means more. I understand ppl deal with death differently. ppl arent always kind and will take things from the house the same day a family member is burried.

Hi, S.:

Your brother has issues about what you intend to do with his mother's ring.

The compassionate thing to do is have a conversation with him about his feelings.

The both of you come to an understanding to resolve the issues he has surrounding your intention.

It may not be about the ring. It would be kind of you to settle whatever issues he has.
Are there other siblings?
Good luck.
D.

I don't think it is disrespectful to her memory.

You didn't even know where this ring was. You would want to honor her by changing it to something you could appreciate, cherish and enjoy.

Ultimately things are just things and the memories of people should be more important than the things themselves. In my family we definitely repurpose things and update them. My mom had some awesome rings that I can't fit and don't really like. Some of them will be altered while others will be left as is to be passed down to the grandbabies.

What would your mom have thought about this? Would she mind having her ring changed?

If I am reading this correctly, your brother doesn't have a problem with you wearing the ring. His concern is with altering the ring. He may be associating your Mom's memory with her ring and fears changing it would somehow upset her. Really, it's her ring that she enjoyed for years. I personally think she would be thrilled with you wearing it in any fashion that you choose.

Perhaps a discussion with your brother is in order. Find out exactly what is upsetting him about changing the ring. You may find that it was just his initial knee jerk reaction to it. Some people just do not do well with change in general and require a bit of time to get used to an idea.

Peace and Blessing,
T. B

No-but that sounds like something a guy would say

I understand your brother being upset. He is attaching your mom's memory to 'that' ring. Would it be possible to include him in the thought process of the new ring? I know that sounds weird but maybe on some level he could have some input?!?!
I see no problem with what your doing and it's obvious everyone here agrees.
Good luck.