I've seen questions here from moms looking to make friends and read an article today about the topic as well. The author posted a request on her social networking sites asking her virtual friends or friends if they knew anyone in her area who she might like and who might like to meet her. There are also blurbs on the article with other ideas like participate in a poetry slam, sit at a bar alone, produce a trivia contest at the local high school, wear a funny shirt, start a club, initiate a google hangout, etc.
Does anyone see this as helpful? Maybe I am just an introvert now-but I don't see myself doing any of this.
I'm way too private to post something like that on a social site.
I honestly think I have a hard time making new friends because I am "old school". When I am speaking to other adults and they are looking at their iphone-or even worse, answer it without excusing themselves, I don't make any mental plans to have another conversation with them let alone a friendship.
So, is it crazy to think that I can meet new people without acting like I am in my twenties again?
I had to take my own advice and will share that advice to you. Do not limit yourself to your own kind--same age, same ethnicity, same age kids, same anything except gender. Many of my newest friends are not my age, ethnic group, lifestyle, or any of the 'things' that I thought my friends should be.
I'm old school too and I think the best way to make real friends is naturally.
I've made friends with many of my kids' friends moms, but that's because we met doing things we have in common, namely volunteering at school and working on committees together.
You can also meet people through classes, hobbies, exercise groups/gyms, etc.
Most of the guys my husband has gotten to be good friends with since we've been married have been those he plays basketball with at the gym and the guys he's met at the golf course on the weekends.
Over time the socializing often becomes a "couples" thing which is nice because then we have other couples to invite over and go out with!
But doing it this way takes time. I think a lot of people are looking for a quicker way to hook up, I don't know if that would work for me.
What worked for me was getting involved at my son's school. I started exchanging pleasantries with other parents in the aftercare group as we were both picking up our kids. Then I found that one parent was on the PTO, so I started going to meetings and met more parents. When we changed schools, I started the year by going to PTO meetings and sure enough met more parents. Some have become good friends.
I am by no means an extrovert and started by lurking at the edges of the groups. For me, when there is a common goal and interest it helps me feel more comfortable.
As for cell phones, that is a total choice. I don't use my cell phone for casual conversations - I prefer face to face communication for that. I don't feel the need to be connected to the world at all times just to have a casual conversation.
Wow, I wish we lived near each other because I feel the exact same way.
The article you mention sounds akin to dating or matchmaking.
I agree that you have to get offline and out in person to meet people. I love parks for that reason. Now that my daughter is playing with other kids, I take her lead and can strike up a convo with the mom/caregiver.
The virtual world has helped me via meetup. I found a local moms group that has been wonderful. The great thing is the playdates are listed on meetup so there is something to do about 3 times a week.
The downfall--and the onus is on me--is that like most of the world, these moms are all on Facebook and are more in touch that way.
I, however, am "old-school," and can't stomach Facebook. To me, it's just another virtual way out. Plus, I have no desire to get in touch with high school people.
Anyway, I'd ignore the immature article you read. It sounds like the woman is in her 20s and single?
Head to the park, meetup or if you're kid(s) are school-aged, volunteer.
As for people looking at their cell phones, it's unfortunate but here to stay. Hold your head high and put yours on vibrate :-)
Good luck.
I recently relocated and seriously underestimated how hard it would be to start over socially. I like meetup.com to find local interest groups. It takes a lot of work and sometimes many many tries before you find a good fit, but there's absolutely no reason to give in to the latest gimmicky trends. You'll find the best friends by being yourself, with the exception of maybe having to make more effort than you thought initially.
There are other ways to make friends besides using electronics to do it, and using "trendy" gimmicks to do so.
What are your interests? Just join a club.
Gardening club.
Lego club.
Reading club.
Car repair workshops
Hiking clubs
Knitting clubs
Cooking workshops
any "hobby" club.
I mean, if you interact with others, that have your same... interests, then the probability of you meeting "like minded" people, increases.
It is, about, following the beat of your own drum.
So what... what others are doing or with those trendy slammin' groups or cyber hangouts.
The thing is: to know how YOU are... and what YOUR interests are, and try joining a hobby group or something. And that has nothing to do with whatever the trendy things is, at the moment.
Do you mean meeting real people, rather than virtual ones? I don't think you need to act like any age but your own. You don't need tricks. You just need a genuine interest in other people. If they wish to be friendly, they will be. If they don't - or find their phone more interesting at the moment - let it go. Don't worry about what they think of you - just be interested in knowing about them. Start with "Hello." You could ask about the neighborhood if you're living in a new place now. Ask them about themselves! People love to talk about themselves.
I would not do it at via a cyber site.
-I find that I just end up striking a conversation w/a mom at a park where
our kids are playing. It helps if you frequent the same park often.
-volunteering at your kids' school could help.
-sometimes through friends of friends
