Just wondering how you deal with the preschool socialization or drama it seems for some reason right now in my house. My son is 3.5 and is in a mixed aged program so the oldest child will be going to kindergarten next fall. My son would be one of but not the youngest.
At the beginning of the year he was buddies with two boys and now when I ask about them he yells at me that X isn't his friend any more (but not the other boy. he is still friends with Y). Now he seems to be sticking with the girls in class. I don't mind that he's making friends with girls but I don't want him to not have boy friends he can pal around with too. I'm going to start volunteering in the room so i'm hoping to get a feel for why he isn't so hot on the boys anymore but my heart breaks for him. Any one have good questions/ideas I can do to get him to open up a bit more to me? Should I invite Y, who he still is okay with, for a playdate to help with my son getting to know him?
I know this is just the beginning. i don't know if I can handle the drama my infant daughter will bring in a few years. Oy vey!
Thanks for the advice. I talk with him about asking the other kids to play with him if they don't ask him and to ask them questions like "do you like cars/books" whatever and that helped a little bit. he's a very sensitive kid and i can tell when he's had a bad day at school. he came home in such a bad mood yesterday. after he napped he came downstairs and told me one of the little girls told him cars are for babies and he just started bawling. Ugh! he was better after we talked about it but it still kills me how sensitive he is.
At this age, friends come and go at a whim. They don't really make lasting friends until well into elementary school. Don't sweat this at this young age, really. As long as he is happy in pre-school, things are fine.
Its only drama if you buy into it. Why not let this happen naturally? He's 3.5. The issue between he and the other boy will probably be forgotten soon. Allow him to make his own choices with regard to friends and respect that he may need a break from this friend right now. Ask HIM if he'd like to have Y over. Make him a part of the decision process.
My son is 4 and has been with the same kids for 3 years now. He calls one of the boys in there his best friend. Well his best friend wasn't there all summer--went to summer camp. His best little buddy came back for the school year. I asked him how school was, etc on his first day in his new classroom. He said it was good but that his friend didn't play with him. He told me that for about a week. I asked him if his friend told him he didn't want to play with him. He said no, but that he was playing with another boy in class. I told him to just ASK him if he can play with them, or if he wants to play. He did. Now everyday after school he tells me about his day and says he played with his bud (and other kids too, but they're not as special apparently). He told me he asked him to play. It was that easy.
It is much harder for boys to make friends at this age than girls . They usually stick to just one friend . If he has made friends with a girl just let him be. he will eventually be friends with boys . At this age they don't know what to say to start a conversation so it is really hard. The girls kind of just carry the conversation.It takes a couple of years trust me. My 5 1/2 years old is finally becoming friends with boys and his twin sister is a social butterfly. If you are really concerned talk to the teacher to help pal him up with another boy.hang in there:)
I'm sure he will be fine. My son had a lot of girl friends in preschool, too. I think it was because he wasn't into the physical play that a lot of the boys were into at that age, the boys could be rough and the girls were more verbal and creative, so my son naturally preferred playing with them.
He DID play with some boys of course, usually the mellower ones, and by the time kindergarten was over he pretty much ONLY played with boys. I don't think it's necessarily "drama" I think it's probably just a phase your son is going through, especially if he is on the young/small side :)
