Makeup for All Star Cheerleaders?

Make-up for everyday use is much different then make-up for a performance and really that's what you guys are doing. I wonder if her daughter was in a play if she would have the same objection?

Let the competition play out for itself. Maybe once her daughter is on the "big stage with lights", the mom will see her daughter is the only one not participating in the makeup, and she'll also see her disappointment, which can affect performance when she doesn't look like the team.

I wouldn't utter another word to the mom. You've really said all you can. She has her right to say no, and if she continues saying no after the competition, the issue is between her and her daughter. Does she at least let her do her hair?

It kills me when parents don't understand what they get their children involved in and the "requirements". I see this with dance too, and we say the same thing - "they will look washed out under the stage lights". It's as if some parents think if they do it for dance/cheer, they'll want to wear it all the time. Ugh! Good luck!

Given the time of year, maybe you could equate it to a Halloween costume? If her daughter wanted to be a cat for Halloween, would she object to drawing whiskers and a nose on her with eyeliner? This is a costume, for a limited purpose, just like you don't go to school every day with cat whiskers.

You can ask, but if the parents refuse to let their child wear makeup, then that's the way it has to be. It's sad that the girl is devastated, but it doesn't at all matter if she looks "washed out," nor should you say that to the girl. The point of doing cheer is the activity, the teamwork, the camaraderie, and everything else that goes into cheering, not the looks.

If the mom said it's "ridiculous" and walked away from you, she's not going to change her mind. I personally have no problem with stage makeup, but I'm not this girl's mom.

Lots of kids have to endure parents' rules that devastate them, and they make it through life.

I suggest you don't say anything more to the mom or to the girl about it. If the girl says anything more, you just say, "Your mom doesn't want you wearing makeup. It's okay, you're beautiful without it anyway. Now let's practice."

p.s. -- I bet you anything this girl wears makeup before she's 16. :)

She shouldn't have signed up if she wasn't willing to meet the requirements. End of story. I think businesses should be able to turn away these types of parents. I am betting she will realize her mistake when she can barely see her child on stage. She'll probably complain about that, too. Poor little girl, she must feel so out of place.

It sounds like you are not doing intense face makeup. This woman clearly doesn't know how to pick her battles or let the professionals do their job. I can't wait until that lady's kid gets older. She's going to be wishing she gave her kid a little bit of freedom.

The lady is unreasonable, and unfortunately, her child will suffer for it. You are a saint, dealing with people like that.

I think it may help if you approach it a certain way. When I read "the girls faces will look washed out" my first thought was actually "That's ridiculous! They're little kids!" Just saying it like that (to me, and maybe to this mom) made it sounds like a little too much like a "Toddlers and Tiaras" episode. BUT, the minute you mentioned THEATER I thought "Oh, OK. That makes sense. That's just what people DO when they're on stage to perform." Does that make sense? So maybe if you approach the mom in that way, and explain that it's a performance. I guess just hearing the word theater helped me with it. For the record, I don't have any experience with this type of thing b/c my kids aren't into dance/cheerleading/theater. I wouldn't let my kids wear makeup in general just yet, but for a performance I'd have no problem with it. I feel bad for that little girl. She feels left out of what everyone else is doing. Good luck!

I don't know why some people took issue with you saying she'll look washed out. She will, under the bright lights. It is not "everyday life". It's a performance. My girls both did a dance recital and make-up was a requirement. We received a long write-up in advance of the recital with the do's and don'ts of it including that hairspray had to be used to keep their hair in place etc etc.

Both of my girls are on a competition cheer team now too BTW and they will absolutely be using make up for their performance coming up next week.

They do not wear make-up or hairspray on a day to day basis! This is a performance, totally different.

I guess you can decide if you want to push the issue and make her either do it or not compete. And maybe in the future have the do's and don'ts in writing ahead of time so they know.

It sounds to me like she and her daughter may not be around that long anyway. If she is that inflexible, and either chooses not to understand or just can't understand that this is a performance like theatre and not just a straight-up athletic event, then she won't have her daughter in competitive cheering for very long, right?

I appreciate your attitude about not having girls wear pounds of makeup, by the way. Maybe if the mom gets to the competition and sees what your girls are wearing, compared to other girls their age who may be in heaps of makeup, she might change her tune. It's a bit crafty, but if you have a mom who is your go-to, reliable mom, you could ask that mom to find a subtle way to telegraph to the no-makeup-mom that makeup would be a good idea. For instance, "Wow, our girls look so good up there. I'm so glad C. M doesn't require them to wear tons of makeup like I'm seeing on other girls here. At least our makeup is just what's needed to keep the girls from looking washed out but it's nowhere near heavy or inappropriate." That brings it up but doesn't come right out to say, "Why isn't your kid in makeup, lady?"

You also get kudos from me for not telling the girl she cannot compete without makeup. Many a cheer coach and dance instructor would say that makeup is technically part of the costume and no makeup means no performing, period. And I would agree with that, since the teacher or coach is the one making those decisions, but I applaud you for letting the girl compete without the makeup at least for now.

The mom doesn't get that wearing makeup for a performance doesn't mean her daughter will crave lipstick and eyeshadow every day. My daughter wears makeup for ballet but says she doesn't want it any other time. She happily associates it with being "fully costumed" to perform but would feel weird in it offstage, she says!

I don't get why stage makeup is such a big deal for some moms. It's STAGE makeup, not an everyday look! There's a reason dancers and actors wear so much during a live performance: if they didn't over define their eyes and lips their faces would look featureless from the audience, especially from the seats in the rear.
<sigh> I just feel sorry for the girl. Not only is she being left out of something fun, but her mom is probably making her feel like she wants something "bad."
Nice message :(

She's not drawing a difference between theater/performance make-up and personal use make-up. She needs to understand that the girls are a team, and part of their uniform while performing publicly is wearing stage make-up.

Have the parents already signed a contract for the girls to participate in specific competitions? If not, then perhaps you can outline in new contracts that the team uniform/costume includes stage make-up during all public performances and that before each performance the application is subject to your approval. I would definitely do that with any new contracts with new seasons. It may also be time to revamp your old contracts with existing clients.

I would probably pressure this mom about it, and gently encourage her and explain the situation to her. I know that when I did theater, if I had refused to go on stage wearing make-up I wouldn't have been allowed to perform. Period. No question. There wasn't even a contract. It's just how it was. If someone didn't know how to apply it properly, they had help. If a parent didn't approve then chances are the child didn't try out in the first place. It's part of being a team.

I think those moms are ridiculous, not you or the makeup! It's for a performance, for a reason. Geez, lighten up. There's something to be said about the kids who rebel against their tightly wound helicopter parents. Next time make sure it's written in bold up front when they register that its REQUIRED. No makeup, no performance. It's part of looking UNIFORM!

I don't have an issue with it either way. At my daughter's dance recital, I forgot to put make-up on her. So, she had lipstick (which I had in my purse) and no other make-up. She looked adorable, but she also looked washed out under the lights. Your comment is true. This mom values her own belief above how her daughter looks under the lights. You should agree to disagree on the issue. However, if they were told prior to signing up for the team that make-up is part of the costume and is expected, I might also point that out as she did agree to that policy when enrolling her child. If it were me, I'd tell my daughter that she is wearing stage make-up as part of a costume, which is not the same thing as wearing make-up as part of her everyday wardrobe. I'm assuming this child does not normally wear the same type of attire as she will be wearing on stage, so I think a child can understand the difference. It seems like a ridiculous fight to me, but I'd let it go and not worry about it too much.

We wear a powder base so the skin is not shiny and reflecting the light. I use a darker blush and do not make red rosy cheeks. It is more for a contoured look on her face. Then she wears a light pink eye shadow with a medium brown just in the creases. I use a darker plumish or rosey color on her lips. I put mascara on her and that's it for show team performances.

For a stage performance I do allow her to use an eyeliner occasionally but it entirely depends on the costume or the dance number. For instance any ballet performance for a kid is not going to be something edgy or dramatic at this age. Once she is older she may be doing something where she'll need a more dramatic look but not usually for a normal performance.

I do think that if you put this in the original hand out when she started she needs to follow the rules that apply for everyone. If she refuses then I might go so far as to not let her daughter compete on the day. Just telling her she is out of costume might be enough to make the mom comply. Otherwise, well, there would be no way my granddaughter would be wearing glittery eye shadow and wearing it to perform.

If the mom decides she is just not going to do what you want you do have the option of replacing her. This mom does need to understand she is not going to be able to do this if she wants her daughter to make a go of this.

One thing I know for sure is this. When we were having informal dress rehearsal, where they put their costumes on with full dress but no hair or make up, the kids faces didn't even show up on the film.

There was no facial features at all, just a white blurry looking shape. The light was harsh and the face didn't have any colors to it at all. Once the kids put full makeup on their faces popped and showed up. Each and every kid, even the boys had to wear at least a base powder and some blush to counteract the lighting. It's just part on being on the stage, it's not a choice of they want to be able to see their kids faces.

Strong 2nd for cat whiskers analogy!!!

Yeesh. My SON wears makeup under lights. If you're in any kind of performing art (theatre, film, dance, etc.) you wear makeup!!!

((He wears eyeliner, nostril liner, eyebrow liner, foundation, and contouring -aka blush, but not pink/red blush, as well as lip tint.))

I think it is nice that you do not feel compelled to push this issue. I'm guessing that this is her oldest (or only) child and the thought of putting makeup on a 6 year old is upsetting. It's a knee-jerk response on her part and I imagine that she will lighten up over time. I was a lot more strict with my first, wanting to limit Barbies, Disney channel, cartoons, etc. By child no. 2 it ceased to be important. Give the mom time. It is not the end of the world for anyone if a child isn't wearing makeup at this competition. A dose of perspective might be helpful for all involved.

I applaud the girl's mom for sticking to her beliefs and not giving in just because that is what everyone does in cheer. It only takes one person to buck the norm to start change. WHY do the girls have to wear make up--1st graders?! If none of the other teams did it, then you wouldn't have to compare who is "washed out" more. The competition should have nothing to do with the makeup on their faces. It's not about her thinking her child will want to wear makeup all the time because she does it in cheer. It's about the whole standard of beauty in our society and mom doesn't want to teach her daughter at an early age that you have to wear makeup to look "normal." It's also about the way our society promotes little girls wearing makeup and skimpy outfits for dance, cheer, and pageants etc. and calls that "normal." And we wonder why our girls have to deal with things like eating disorders and teen pregnanacy!