Low Income Housing?!? HELP!

D.,

I think you will do MUCH better in your posts if you put your location in the TITLE vs. in the body of the question. Not everyone on Mamapedia receives every single post, and they don't read every question they do receive. So, putting "Central NJ Low Income Housing" as the title would have gotten your question flagged by more people in that area or more who live elsewhere but have familiarity with NJ from living there before. So that's just a general hint for all questions going forward that are specific to your geographic area.

I understand your mother's feeling of worthlessness - that happens to most abused women and certainly those who have been out of the job market for a while. She's had a major number done on her self-esteem, having to be the slave to this man.

Your mother can do several things. The first is to work on putting her head back together, and that means counseling for her and for your younger sister, who has watched her mother be browbeaten during her own formative years. That's going to affect the way your sister chooses boyfriends and the way she allows herself to be treated. Your mother should contact the National Domestic Violence program (http://www.thehotline.org) for excellent legal advice and work strategies. It's free. She may have the wrong lawyer as well, I'm not sure. While Julie S. was very blunt and no doubt hard for you to read, she's correct that your mother's equity in the house is probably substantial. If your mother doesn't need to move out and into a secret location to be safe from her abuser, staying might be her best option. But the Hotline can help her with a variety of strategies and referrals.

That she got a job is a good thing. The state division of employment may have free courses to build up her skills in some marketable areas (computer skills, for example), and the public library may have some as well. I know she is working full time and raising a teen, but this is important. Your sister may also do well to take some courses in things not covered in high school, even if she is struggling to have a normal and drama-free life (which she should).

Your mother's husband may well be responsible for spousal support and maintenance on the home if his name is on the deed.

Even though your mother has an attorney, it doesn't hurt for her to talk to the Hotline to get additional support and legal advice, and perhaps referrals to lower cost attorneys or even may housing options. Please urge her to call. They can help her formulate a solid plan.

Your mom needs to call her lawyer and have her file a Motion for exclusive possession of the home during the divorce with her husband ordered to pay the payments, taxes, insurance, etc. If she quit a job at his request, then she is entitled to stay in the home, especially since she owned the home before they married, and have him pay for it. If her attorney has not done that for her, then perhaps your mother has the wrong attorney. That should have been a no-brainer for any experienced family law attorney.

She needs an attorney--private or LegalAid.
No wY on Gods green earth would I be moving out of MY house because some idiot talked me into playing June Cleaver!

i wonder how many people reading MP this morning actually live in the middesex/central NJ area.
i mean, if i want a couch, or a pony, or a hairdresser, i don't want to find out how amazing someone's couch or pony or hairdresser is in california, since i live in MD.
there are almost certainly really great resources right there where your mother lives. and if you must ask it on a national forum, there's a handy-dandy button that allows you to restrict your viewership to your geographical area so you can actually get helpful responses.
but no. you ask where 98.9% of the people reading can't possibly answer you, then complain in the next breath about how unhelpful the answers are.
heh.
khairete
S.

The social services department for her city or county will have the resources and information she needs to navigate housing and other things.

Julie, did the poster change what she said after you replied? I ask because your reply doesn't make sense compared to what I'm reading. For example, the 'too lazy to work' question, when the OP says her mom does have a job and is working a lot of hours.

If your Mom has not already talked to a womens shelter, she should.
They should have all kinds of information to help her as she goes through the process of leaving an abusive relationship.

You need to be approved to get section 8 housing (anywhere in the US) and that usually takes about two years. Also, if her name is on the deed to the house its not likely she will get it.

She will need to work with the county on this, you cant just rent a section 8 apartment and the county pays for it. There is a legal process to it.

Since you don't want them homeless why not take in your family and help them out.

Well, if a woman is leaving an abusive relationship without any money she is very vulnerable to say the least.

I understand she probably doesn't even have a resume. I don't. I applied for a job the other day and probably won't get it even though it's in my primary field and I have every requirement. But I simply had no time to sit down and try to think of jobs I had 10 years ago to put on a resume. So I wrote a letter and explained I hadn't officially worked in several years and to please not discount my application for the job.

Your mom is about to become homeless. She has no money to support herself and your sister.

If Julie is right all it takes is going out and finding a job. That's hard to do when you might not even have a vehicle. What if the car is on payments? It's gone in a month when mom is still trying to figure out where they're going to live. What they're going to do for food, how they'll afford to wash their clothes, everything is probably going to be gone.

If you've never had to walk out of a house with only what you can put in a suitcase and start a new life you can't know how extremely hard it is.

This is why I understand your mom needs an apartment she can afford to live in with your sister because her income, HER income will have to support both of them.

If rent is even affordable in your town she'd have to make enough money to pay rent and utility bills that equal about a third of her income.

If she goes to work making minimum wage, $7.25 per hour and works 40 hours per week she's going to make $290 per week. Which will have insurance and taxes taken out. Let's say 15% for taxes then $125 per month for insurance.

$290 - $43 in taxes. Then $125/4 weeks, $31.25. So $290-$43=$247 - $31.25=$215.75 to pay rent, buy groceries, pay utilities, gasoline, car insurance, laundromat expenses since apartments don't often have washers and dryers in them, and more.

There isn't any way a minimum wage job can help this family. Not even if the 17 year old drops out of school and works full time too.

The mom needs to find a job that is at least double minimum wage OR find a very cheap apartment.

I suggest you help your mom find a shelter she can make contact with so she can use the resources they have.

I S. the women's shelter idea. You can do a quick Google search for "battered women's help" in your area, and find something. This probably isn't the best place for this question, but I know you're trying to do what you can to help your mom and sister. Good luck.

Hello
I don't think in NJ, so in that regard, I can't recommend low income housing, however, I think what you might need in addition to housing is perhaps a support group, so that she can express her concerns and I well imagine, anxiety over becoming newly divorced, while at the same time caring for a younger daughter. IS there a chance she can talk to a social worker whom although may not have housing to offer, can perhaps suggest groups and or other networks that might be able to assist your mom. you mention your mom has been in abusive relationship, is there any way she'd be willing to talk to a counselor at a shelter for women?
The counselors there can be VERY helpful and have at their disposal a list of other resources. IF anything, it's a good way to get the ball rolling..
This won't be an easy so finding an emotional network for your mom is going to be key so that she can transition.. Also, it will take some doing on your mom's part in that while you clearly have good intentions, sometimes a place like a shelter first question will be, why isn't your mom contacting us.. so what you might do on your mom's behalf is line up some places she can call.. go online, see what women's services are available and jot those names down. again, a women's shelter, even if one doesn't stay there, often they have links to other resources and too, are used to dealing with women who have been abused, which is often most of the women staying at the shelter.. start there and see what you can dig up..
best of luck to you
blessings

Did you change your question?