Lost at Home

Start a game nite - Bunco groups are great fun! Good way to meet others. Or start an in home business while you have the time. Contact me for details.

I know how you feel. I was in the Air National Guard for 8 years. I have a 12 years old son and an 18months old baby. I work full time, go to scholl on Tuesdays and recently started my own AVON business. I am in my late 30's and I really don't have many (if any) close friends.
I'd love to be able to chat with someone once in a while, go out for coffee or a movie or something...
Hope you can meet someone soon!!! You can email me at ____@____.com and if you are in the OKC area let me know...

Hi K.,

First, let me say THANK YOU for your service in Iraq. You have no idea how much I appreciate what you do!

I was an Army brat, so I understand your situation.

My sugguestion would be to find a nice family oriented church close by. Get involved in one of their women's Bible Studies, Sunday School class. You'll meet lots of new friends.

When I moved back to La. that's what I did to make new friends and now I have several that are my age, plus all these wonderful older ladies that have taken me under their wings! Get involved! You'd be amazed at how blessed you'll be.

My husband and I are now very involved in our church, we've worked with the youth, VBS, and AWANA. Weekly, we would go and do a Sunday School lesson with several of our elderly that were shut-ins and now I'm teaching the Toddler Sunday School class and my husband is teaching the Men's Sunday School class.

Our kids are pretty much grown now. Still have one at home, but she graduates from college next spring.

Finding a church has really helped us settle into this small community.

When your children come home from visiting their dad, get them into a Sunday School class, you'll be able to meet the mom's of their classmates. Some churches have a MOPS group (Moms Of Preschoolers) another great way to meet moms and make new friends.

If you just need someone to talk to, you can email me privately. I'm a SAHM and always available with a listening ear.

Some of the best places to met people are at church , or at your kids schools when they are at home. at a group that does something you like like a book club if you like to read, at a volunteering place for a cause you believe in. Join a gym. The point is to found a way to get out among people and I promise you will found people who are friendly. Another club that is good is a newcomers club lots of places have them.

You and your children are still young. Take advantage of the extra time on your hands. Try to get involved in church or a community activity...volunteer at the hospital or go visit the nursing home or volunteer at the animal shelter.....find something of interest to take your mind off missing your family and get you into something that makes you feel like you're making a contribution to life. When my son was little he spent time with his dad 75 miles away and my heart felt like he was on the other side of the world. I found getting involved in other activities helped. Even when people were snobby or indifferent, it helped just getting out and being around others. It may be a good time to try some things you've always wanted to do but never had the time to do them.

WOW, K., if you've been gone for that long too i can understand the "lost" feeling. Church is always a good place to meet folks, if that's where you want to be....community stuff....check your local newspaper, webpage, etc for volunteer opportunities, etc. Be careful, don't let yourself fall into a crevice that's hard to get out of. Find something, go to the local YWCA, take swimming or yoga or something...you'll meet people there. Probably not those that have had the experiences that you have because those people are going to be very few and far between. Figure out what you like and do that....even if it takes several trys to find that "thing". Just be careful to do something....cos nothing will just drag you deeper. Good Luck and thanks so much for serving myself and my family. The sacrifices that you've made in your own life are much appreciated. R.

Hi K.~

No, you're not alone! I can't add to any more ideas - everyone has given great ones.

I notice you're in Cabot, AR - I'm nearby in Pine Bluff, which as you may know is in its own weird little bubble! I will say that you might need to be really diligent. I have had a time over the past 10+ years trying to create a niche for myself here in PB! Don't know if Cabot is the same way, but I literally NEVER had this problem anywhere else until I moved to Pine Bluff. So if you don't find friendly folks the first try, just keep going and don't give up!!

Email me whenever - I work full time, so right now I just have the weekends free. In a few weeks I'll be off on maternity leave, so will have some time in there to meet in Little Rock or something if you'd like (I'm due July 26th). I'm at amyjdavis93 [at] gmail [dot] com.

K.,
Thank you for your service. I, too, am a military wife and I understand the feelings of isolation that come with moving around so much. You're basically starting over every couple of years. On top of that, I have witnessed first hand the toll that deployments can take, even if you weren't firing a gun. Living for so many months under very intense pressure and stress, away from loved ones, can lead to all kinds of complications for a soldier.
You have received so many good suggestions here. Please let me add just one more. Please watch yourself carefully and ask yourself honestly if you are depressed. There is nothing shameful about depression and it is very common in military spouses and soldiers who have served during war. I myself am wrestling with postpartum depression that was only made worse for awhile by a move to a new place, and the feelings of isolation that go with them.
Please talk to your doctor (I talked to my OB/GYN and she was wonderful). If you are really feeling alone and there is a sadness or higher level of anxiety that you cannot shake, please take it seriously. Become involved, find a hobby, exercise, do all of things that people have suggested to meet other people and stay occupied. But if you feel that there is something greater wrong, please find a health care provider to talk to.
You are a soldier - you are strong, and patriotic, and dedicated to your family and country. There is also nothing wrong with being human, and needing help.
Also, rest assured - there are military spouses out here who don't care what rank you are or branch you serve in. We just want to meet and get to know you for who you are as a person. We do exist and if you keep trying, you will meet us in your travels and we will become your lifelong friends. Do not give up!!!
Please seek help if you need to, or at least talk to your loved ones about how you are feeling.
Thank you again for your service, and good luck to you.

First of all Thank You for serving our country! Things are differant when you come back it will take some time. Try to get in touch with people you knew before you left, make new friends. It sounds like you keep busy with things but not with personal people contact. I pray everything works out for you and you kids. There are people out there that are not stuck ups, just have to look for them. God Bless You and you family. B. A.

First, u say u have just got back from Ira my hat of to u!! A big thank u for doing a job most women wouldn't do. As for all those moms the stuck up attitude don't wory about them they're not worth it.As far as ur babies bein in california, they'll be back before u know it! Try and enjoy the quit cause I how much energy 3 &4 yr old can be !Mine are grown with families of their own but I remember ! Try reading a good book or see if some of the ladies would like a "girls" nite out a good moveie, dinner, bowling,join a health club,this is just a few suggestions. Believe time will fly by and those babies will be back with mommie and fighiting for ur attention! U said ur man was in Mississippi working and come home for the week end while the kids are at dads why not go there for a week end ?Hope time goes by fast for u , may God bless u. Let me know how it goes

Hi K.,

First let me say thank you for your service in Iraq and welcome home.

Readjusting to civilian life has got to be tough...especially when you are all of a sudden alone and have way too much time on your hands.

Have you considered joining a group that represents a special interest of yours? Like maybe biking, hiking, a book club or even something like the Red Hat Society (yes it's even open to younger women). Regardless of your interests there should be a group that meets and would make it possible to make new friends and get out of the house for something besides work and school. Google the activity and Broken Arrow and you just might find a group that meets close to home.

Good luck and once again...thank you.

W. Q

I feel lost when my little ones just go to nanas and papas for a night. My husband drives on the road so we dont see each other for a month at a time. I understand how you feel. If ou ever want to talk just send me an email or add me to yahoo messenger ____@____.com. I am always wanting new friends. I feel lost during the day. I work at home but when its slow I am like what should I be doing. WEll anyways I just wanted to let you know if you ever wanna talk just let me know. Venting always helps me also.

S. T.
www.always4myfamily.com

First let me thank you, and all others, for putting their life on the line for all of us. I know that you are not the same person as that person when you left for Iraq.
Also I thank God for watching over you and letting you return.
I wish I would know all the answers but only can say to take some time and thank God for what you have. Remember many do not have any thing close to what you have.
First you have your children. You say you have some one in your life, I pray that all goes well for you.
Not only when you get down on yourself, but set some time aside, go where it is quiet and talk to your maker. Then sit and give him some time to answer you. He will answer, they may not be what you ask for, but rememberhe knows all and in the end you will probably receive something better. However keep in mind some are given a very heavy cross to carry and suffer much so that they will be a special place for them in everlasting life.
As you know many return with some part of them missing, but worst of all is when they return with part of their mind going haywire.

Again thank you, and God Bless you

Hey K.,
Thanks for your Service to our Country! I so Appreciate your sacrifice! My Dad and FIL were in Korea so I don't have first hand knowledge of service myself I DO know what it is to have loved ones who serve. Thanks!!
Ok-now on to your post-I'm sorry you are feeling lost-I felt that way after my daughter was born for a little while (adjustment).
One thing that helped was to look for a group that you can relate to. I don't know if you go to church, but even if you dont' there are groups that meet at churches- MOM'S Clubs are mostly for SAHM's but there's also MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and some others too. I'd see if your town/largest town has a page at About.com-they are a HUGE source of info and you can search and get newsletters emailed to you. You could also contact the Chamber of commerce for organizations near you.

If you don't attend church, try it out-can't hurt and at least it would get you out of the house for a little while. You can also look on this site for other Mom's who have kids visiting Dad for their summer vaccation..., possibly other veterans who are also Moms!
I hope this helps a little-I hope the time till your kids get back Flies by!
Hugs,
C.

Hey my name is M. and I live in Madison,MS and my husband and I are both in the Army. We have been on active duty for so long you don't feel connected to the rest of the "real" world. So I understand exactly what you are talking about, most of our friends are couples in the Army b/c we have a lot in common with them. So you may try and become friends with other military couples. I hope this helped but anytime you want to talk feel free:-)

Welcome home K.. thank you for all you have done :)

I am in mississippi on the gulf coast.

Since you have so much time why don't you try and take a a hobby like scrapbooking. That is a wonderful and therapudic thing for me. It allows me to not only record my pictures and stories but lets me get my feelings out and all that jazz.

If you are interested in it email me at ____@____.com and i will be happy to give you some pointers on where to start. I also have a blog you can look at and get some ideas on what it is all about(if you don't already know)

Just a thought....