My heart is broken as I'm writing this. I had an amnio after a high AFP results. I wanted the amnio to know if my baby was healthy- I wasn't going to do anything if the results were positive. I had the amnio on a Thursay- it was horrible. I felt like I was invading my baby's world. Then on Sunday my stomach felt tight, but I thought it was Braxton-Hicks. (I have 2 other children- with normal pregnancies) I went to bed early and I woke up at 5:00 am and I felt horrible. I thought I was having gas pains. After an hour of being uncomfortable, I went to get out of bed and my water broke. I began to shiver uncontrollably. My husband and went to the hospital and 2 hours later I delivered our little boy. We got to spend about 4 hours with him andn we also had him baptized. They did blood tests on me and I learned that I had a serious strep infection in my blood. I stayed in the hospital 5 days and I received an IV pick line in my arm for the antibiotics.
Some of the doctors said that the amnio caused the infection, some of the doctors and nurses said that it just hapened. I keep blaming myself for getting the amnio. But I also know someone who had a blod infection and lost her baby and didn't have an amnio.
I just feel so sad all the time. Does anyone know of any websites or suport groups in the Nassau/Queens area? Does anyone know of anyone else who had this happen to them? I just want some answers and I want to feel better so I can take care of my 2 children.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I don't know of any sites for support but just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need me. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
*K.*
I am so sorry you had this experience, but my prayers are with you.
I had 3 amino's any never had any bad experiences or side effects.
Keep thinking positive and enjoy your two babies whom need you the most.
God bless
J.Medina
Dear D.,
I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. I truly know how hard it is to lose a child. I lost our first baby (also a boy) when I was 6 months pregnant....we named him Jackson. I did not have an amnio, but the doctors had found that the babies kidneys were both covered in cysts...therefore he could not produce his own fluid and was growing larger with no space to move. They told me it was up to me what to do, but that they believed he was suffering and that they knew he would not survive. They said I could deliver him at that time or I could wait and that he would most likely be still born. We delivered him at that time and he was already gone....but we too did get to spend some time with him. Wow....it was almost 5 years ago and when I write about it now it brings it all back up like it was yesterday. I blamed myself for it for so long....even though the doctors assured me that it was simply a gene mutation....still I blamed myself. As mothers, unfortunately, this is what we often do. After going through a very very sad time I really started to look at it from the perspective that this must have somehow been meant to be and that we are never given anything in life that is more than we can handle. I chose to begin to look at it for what lesson I could learn from this. The more I started to look at it from a spiritual perspective, the more confirmation I began to get that my baby was doing well, just somewhere else. More than a year later I was riding a cab home, pregnant with our second child (a girl) and the cab driver told me he had a gift and that he had some messages for me. !? He asked me what I was going to name our baby girl (he knew it was a girl!) and I told him "Sienna". He said "Sienna is a very nice name, but you're baby should be named with a "J" ...you're baby wants to be named with a "J". I immediately thought that this baby wanted to be named with a J, to honor the memory of our first child. The driver also told me I needed to stop worrying and that my baby would be healthy and fine, but that the worrying on my part was my downfall and that I needed to grow above it. He said much more.......
I thought that story may make you feel better in some way. I know this loss is absolutely heart breaking....I really don't know anything more difficult that a person could have to go through. But....I know you will get through this. YOU WILL. I do encourage you to talk with someone about this....just simply being able to vent how you feel will help in the healing process. I would also pay close attention to your dreams. Many times, our loved ones will come to us in our dreams and give us messages that help us heal and ease our pain. This happened to me as well. Your little boy is in a beautiful place, free of pain and wants you to feel that way too.
I would be more than happy to talk with you, if you just want to talk to a mom who's been there before. I am not a grief counselor by any means, but I do counsel people through health issues and find that simply having a space to talk about how we feel honestly is incredibly valuable and comforting. Love and Light to you and your family.
S.
D.,
I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I can not imagine going through something like that. I know there are no answers for what happened but, the only thing you can do is pray. Pray for peace of mind and for God's love to comfort you in a difficult time as this. I will be praying for you also.
