I am a mom to a three yr old little girl and 1 yr old little boy. During the day Mon-Fri I have another child, a two yr old little girl. We are having major sharing issues which seem to always result in someone hitting and huge temper tantrums. Up to this point I have tried to calmly talk to them, I have used timeouts when they need to be removed from the situation and I watch the clock ALL day long constantly repeating "Ok, girls time to switch or share". I am so frustrated. I have even tried making sure I have more than one of the more popular toys and they still fight over them. For instance my daughter has two identical monkeys, Hailey and Sonny, the little girl I watch also has one, Max, these three monkeys look exactly the same without the close on, but still, they fight over who has who constantly, just recently I removed the clothing thinking this would eliminate the issue. Needless to say, it did not. Even when all three monkeys are completely identical they still fight over who has which one! Another example would be one child will have one toy, then the other child will throw a huge tantrum because they want that very same toy NOW! So we wait a few minutes and we "share" One child passes the toy on to the next and moves on to another toy...and this is where the cycle repeats itself because the child who originally thru the tantrum to get the first toy starts screaming again to get this next toy! I am running out of ideas and I am really frustrated. I don't like taking toys away because it is not teaching them to share them so I am looking for new tactics to encourage sharing and eliminate the fighting, hitting and temper tantrums.
My little boy had the same issue but is doing somewhat better now that he does "trades" instead of giving or sharing. If someone has something he wants, he has to find something to trade with them in order to get it.
Good luck, but they say that toddlers don't really understand sharing until 3+
C.
I have had the same problem with my kids. I have got to the point that I just take the one throwing the fit in the other room to color, use playdoh or whatever is out. I have found that making the other child share after the tantrum only incourages the tantrum thrower to do it again to get his or her way. So try removing which ever one is throwing the tantrum away from the situation and see if it help any. When they get a bit older go back to what you are doing now and see if it works better...1,2 and 3 are not easy sharing ages. Thier brains just aren't developed enough to understand they'll get the toy back. My 4 year old has only been willing to share with out me encouraging or forcing him since he turned 4 in May. Give them time, they'll get it.
M.,
I watched amazed as my son's Montessori teacher was able to get 5 two year-olds to share without tears or screams. The way she did it was setting strict rules they all knew by heart. So, each child picks a toy, nobody is allowed to fight for that toy until the child is done playing with it. The child, however, is encouraged to invite her friend who would like to play, join her. The children felt very secure because they had the right to refuse to share. However, because they felt secure, it was not a problem to share. Believe me, each time a new child came in, there were tears but once they got used to the program, they were fine. And she had some little guys that were terrors. I think its a matter of sticking to the rules always. Every day, all day. I hope this helps or in the least gives you some ideas. Two is such a tough age for sharing!
A.
Hi M.!
These ages are just sooooo fun ;) Anyways, i worked at a daycare for two years and have lots of other experience as well, so maybe my information can help!! Alot of the problems your having are really due to the age of these children, however there are things you can do to help. One very good method, is to "distract" the children. Offer a new activity, maybe even a group activity, such as reading a story, painting, singing songs, anything like that. There are times when you will physically have to remove a child from the situation, but always give them something new and exciting to do. Playing with you one on one usually works b/c kids love the individual time. These kids really can't understand the concept of sharing well at this age..the 3 year old may start to, but not the others. Children are really egocentrical!! I do put up toys, where the children can see them but not have them, and say something like "Hailey and Sonny don't want to play if you can't play nice, maybe in a little while we can try it again". It really helps to have some kind of schedule for them as well, if they are just "playing" all day, they will get bored and the fighting will ensue. Maybe keep freeplay time at a minimum of 20-30 minutes and then go on to another activity. Anyways, i really hope this helps!! Have a great day! I can't wait for the garage sales either!!
Hi M.,
My daughter just turned three and I have a very grown up 10 month old, she is already walking and almost running and fights with my three year old already! My 3 year old does not like sharing her toys with her little sister at all. What I have found that has worked for me, I tell her I am going to give her toy away if she doesn't want share it. She is a lot more willing to share now. Don't know if this will help your situation but it might be worth a try.
J.
I would consider trying to get the kids to roll a ball back and forth to each other, for starters. Use words like share, take turns, etc. while they are playing. They'll know the ball is coming right back, because that's the game. You could try sitting on the floor with them, and joining the game too. This is a good way to make sharing fun. You could also try finding some games to play with the kids that do not use toys at all. Simon says is a game that even small kids can understand. Maybe some music to dance to, for the kids. This will keep sharing from being an issue. Plus, reading a few books to all the kids will give them something to focus on, other than toys, and also introduce them to early literacy skills, as an added bonus.
