Hi! So I have been feeling down and wanted input from other moms with older kids maybe who have gone through this. My son has SPD and a language processing disorder. We are making a lot of strides with his SPD and I am feeling good about that. But, I get so frustrated and discouraged with his language. He is four years old and he just doesnt have the capacity to talk like other kids his age. A lot of what he says is repetative because he has a need to talk I think but doesnt know how to express himself very well. He does talk my ear off, and I am actually thankful for that but there is rarely novel conversation with him. He also has a hard time processing a lot of instructions at once especially in school and so that is hard also. HE has been evaluated for ASD and aspbergers and was told that he did not fit into that group so we are just left with the sensory and language piece. Does it get better? Does anyonw have an encouraging stories? Sorry if this is not real clear. Thanks for any help! Edit: He is in private speech therapy and does currently have an IEP through school where he receives OT and ST he also has a private physical therapist due to low muscle tone. He has been evaluated through both the public schools and privately.
SPD = sensory processing disorder????
Can he learn to sign?
School should give him an IEP that will ensure the teachers break the instructions down into smaller chunks that are more specific. Is he in school now? Are your evaluations through the public school district... or are you haveing him privately evaluated? If private... you want to begin including the school district where he will qualify for services.
Hang in there mama!.
Yes, it does get better! My daughter has SPD and I had her evaluated by the school district when she was three years old for her speech. She was rated as Severe (Profound was the highest; she was in the second worst category). When I took her in, I was the only person who could understand and/or figure out what it was that she wanted/what she was trying to say. Even had to learn a few sign language gestures to help us through.
She has been in Speech since age 3 to now, at age 11 in the 6th grade; we think she will finally graduate from Speech after this year. At age 4 she was in Early Childhood; the school asked to reevaluate her, discovered she had hypotonia, and she began OT/PT, which she had until 4th grade. We also had her in a variety of outside private therapies to help her along. And to help with her extreme frustration outbursts, she saw a Childhood Specialist from age 5 to 11.
If you keep up with all of the extra help and make sure to give your son as much support and encouragement as possible (let him know you're there for him to help him), I foresee that he will come out of this just fine.
When I look back to when my daughter was two, three, four years old and her saying, "I hate myself," "I'm stupid," using her hands as fists and pounding them on her head, or rocking against the wall and pounding her head against the wall--all of those frustration shouts are now gone. Speech is still a bit of a struggle on a couple consonants, but overall, other than a very distant "deaf" sound quality to her speaking (she has perfect hearing), which only I and her speech therapist can hear, most people meeting my daughter would have absolutely no idea that when she was younger she didn't speak, or when she did that it was garbled and indistinct.
You are doing a good job, mom. Keep up the good work!
okay, first....don't limit yourself to his world. By expanding your own world, your life will become easier. Make sure to take time for yourself. It's not a crime, it's a lifesaver for many of us.
2ndly, stop comparing him to other 4yos. He will blossom in his own way, at his own pace. At this point, you have him in the best possible place....a school where he's receiving the attention & direction he needs.
& finally, every single day find something about him, something he's accomplished, or even simply a moment when he made you smile....find something to rejoice in. He is your child & that alone is reason to rejoice!
Ooops, & my credentials: my older son battled a degenerative hip disease from age 6 on. Went thru his 1st hip replacemt last year at age 23. Throughout his entire childhood, he appeared to be ADHD...that's how much the pain interfered with his functioning. By contrast, my younger son has lived un-medicated for his ADD...& we're surviving. It's a long, hard haul...but we're doing it. :) Disability comes in many forms, shapes, & sizes....
it will get better. as hard as it is, you have to determine what HIS normal is, and then treat him as close to mainstream normal as possible. this will both challenge him and help him adjust to things outside his comfort zone.
As for the repetition, that is common too. Watch Wiggles, Dora, etc. the shows always repeat things 3 times. That's how kids learn. The kids also learn to repeat things three times before they move on. Try watching things like Thomas the tank or Elmo. They don't do the repeating as much
I am not a doctor or a specialist. I have however, been around a few kids that have SPD and ASD. For the most part its about giving them an opportunity to do or experience something, but let them decide when enough is enough.
Ex. My nephew has sensory issues. I believe he has ASD tendacies but has not been tested. He is afraid of dogs. For 7 years each time he hears a dog bark he runs in the house shaking. Doesn't even have to see the dog. Then when we are out, he'll run the other way. Now after 7 years of working with him, as long as an adult is between him and the dog he is watchful but won't run. His parents even tried to get a puppy. He walked up, touched it on the hind legs and walked away. that was a HUGE step for him. Then all day he was like 'i like dogs, the dog this, the dog that...' the progress has been lost because the parents decided that a dog wasn't right for their living area.... but we are getting a puppy tonight, so we'll see....
This same boy also doesn't look you in the eyes often, and hugs sideways. The solution? High-fives and fist pumps. He is LOVES to give those!
He has also been DEATHLY afraid of Santa, Chuck E Cheese, etc. Last year we went to Disney World. He got to choose how close he got to the characters. There were sometimes when he had a complete meltdown but he survived. By day 3 he was getting his picture taken with Mickey, Minnie and any other character he could find. This year, at the age of 9 he sat on Santa's lap for his pic, for the 1st time, with a big smile on his face.
I am not in that position. I don't have any personal stories. I do know that great strides are being made everyday in the science and training of communication disorders. I hope you have a great support system and a belief structure that gives you strength and peace. He's lucky to have such a good mommy and I don't have to tell you what a blessing he is. On the really hard days, it's helpful to hold onto that. I will say a prayer for both of you.
hi, K.,
Shirley told you about Parent to Parent and I second her suggestion (I'm on the board, btw). If you join our statewide listserv, you'll get to meet many other families with similar issues and get ideas from them. Email me directly if you would like someone to review the IEP with you - I'm in Denver and I'm a professional advocate as well as the mom of a child with special needs. I'd love to meet for coffee and see what other resources I can send you.
It does get better. When my middle son was in preschool (age 3), the preschool teachers recommended I take him to Child Find to be tested for speech. They didn't understand him and sadly, the other kids didn't understand him either so nobody would play with him. He was moved to a public preschool to focus on his speech and language processing disorder. He was in this preschool for 2 years. When I enrolled him in kindergarten, his IEP followed. He received speech, reading and writing and OT services. We go to a fantastic public school and he was able to close out his IEP after 1st grade. He is in 2nd grade now and doing well. He is reading at a 3rd grade level. His handwriting still needs work but overall, he has caught up to his peers and has many friends. We hired a private speech therapist once a week in addition to what he was receiving at school. I am very involved with working with him at home as well. It was a team approach to get him where he is today. It's not always easy, we still have some crying at homework time. He works so much harder than his brothers to achieve the same level of success. I am so proud of his progress and I'm hoping his tenacity will benefit him in life. Good luck with your son.
Yes it will get better, there is another great group in Colorado for parents to share on-line, Parent to Parent and it's for parents of children who are experiencing disability in some way. http://www.p2p-co.org/ check them out, and another place is PEAK Parent center www.peakparent.org.
My son has a sever hearing loss, and when he was 4 we struggled. He's a young man now and we still have "creative conversations" as we call them, once I said "I'm going to paint the kitchen" he said "your pants are itchin'?"
We just laugh now, but the early days were a struggle. It will get better!
I don't have an answer, just a question. We are concerned that our 4 year old has SPD, but have been told by several professionals that the evaluation isn't valid until age 6. How did you get him diagnosed at 4? Honestly I want a diagnoses for her so I can get training and support for me, I try to be understanding and accommodate her, but I get sooo frustrated and I wish I knew when to push it with her and when to just let things go.
