Looking for Advise on ADD or ADHD

M., here is my experience. My 8 year has ADHD, he has mostly attention deficit problems with borderline hyper. He was struggling in kindergarten and I wondered if he had ADD. My younger sister has it and he had the same behaviors that she did. I talked to her about her experiences on medication, she suggested that I take him to see the peditrician and have him tested. We put him on meds the 2nd half of his 1st grade year. Putting him on the meds was the best thing we could have done for him. He just took off at school. He is now in 3rd grade and reading at a high 4th grade level, he is in the top of his class for other areas also.

As for having him on meds, I will tell you a story that happened a few months ago. One morning he forgot to take his pill before going to school. We found it mid morning and took it to him at school. His teacher had never been around him when he wasn't on his meds so I was worried that he wasn't getting his work done. Later that day I talked to his teacher. She told me that she was glad she got to see him when he wasn't on his meds, but she was really glad that I brought them to school for him to take.

His teacher is very supportive and works with him. If you ask him what he thinks of being on his meds he will tell you that it allows him to focus and pay attention.

Good luck in whatever decision you make. It is a personal choice that no one has to know about. The only people that know about my son are his teacher and the principal.

Hi, M.. I just wanted to agree with the Omega-3 suggestion. A lot of ADD/ADHD problems can be traced to an Omega-3 defficiency in the brain. I give my girls a flaxseed oil supplement.

N.

Contact your school and ask them to give you the contact information for AEA (Area Education Association). Since the teachers are asking for medication for your son (which I disagree with unless his case is very severe) and due to the fact that he already has a 'learning problem' with his reading, AEA SHOULD ALREADY be involved . If not, ask the school to get them involved. AEA will conduct any tests that your son will need, at no cost to you. Be warned, I've found that until a parent asks for AEA to be involved, the schools tend to really drag their feet.

From there they will set up an academic plan based on his needs that the teacher must follow....of course, this plan is set up in a meeting with AEA workers, the teachers, and the parents...often they will ask the child to sit in on these as well because if there is something he won't want to do then they can discuss it right then and work around it. AEA will also continually monitor your son with weekly visits and adjust the plan as things work or don't.

We went this route for my son. The teachers complained and I asked for AEA to get involved. They tested my son and found that he had sensory issues and ADHD. From there they set up a treatment plan for his sensory problems and through trial and error found that as long as we kept his sensory problems properly regulated, he had no need of meds for the ADHD and his teachers commented on his 'remarkable' improvement in paying attention and tending to his studies.

The way this was done was to take him out of one morning and one afternoon class 7 min. early. He would then go down to the gym and do what he needed to do for his sensory problems. He needed joint stimulation so he would play basketball which gave him the running and jumping along with arm movements and if someone was available to spot...let him lift weights. He would then have to be at his next class no later than 5 min after it started. It doesn't seem like a lot of time, but it worked wonders for him. He was able to burn off some energy and treat his sensory problems which allowed him to be able to focus, the teachers were happy with him and his work, and we were happy to not have a medicated child. (we tried the ritalin once...he stared at the walls for two days...I'd rather have him running around playing outside as he likes to do!)

AEA, if I remember correctly, is a Federal program available nationwide...though don't quote me on that. I know first hand what a pain it is to try and help our kids at school. It's a constant 'battle' as each year I have to call the school and get the AEA ball rolling again, attend the meetings, talking with teachers...it's a constant in communication. Seeing my child succeed...makes it all worth the hassle. Good luck to ya hun!! :)

I don't have personal experience in this, BUT I belonged to a online e-mail group called Flylady.net, and she has some GREAT ideas to help with organizationa nd time management ( origianlly designed for household chore management) that have worked wonders for many people with ADD and ADHD, tailored to fit their particular needs...check it out !

Jessie

Hi M.,
You are going to get answers that span the spectrum from medicate to no medications. I will just tell you about my experience with my daughter who is now 6.

I knew something was just not quite right at @18 months old. She had energy beyond belief and NEVER was a good solid sleeper. As time went on things got worse as kids with ADHD do not learn very readily from thier previous mistakes. I started looking into a diagnosis around 3 and she was ____@____.com started meds at that time and the very first day was a miracle day for her.

Since then I have taken the time to understand more about ADHD and have taken a very helpful 8 week seminar offered by CHADD. I must admit it took me some time to get to the classes as that would mean that I was accepting of her diagnosis. It came down to my accepting it and realizing that it wasn't about me liking it, it was about me doing the best I could to help my daughter. This was an eye opener for me. In this class they said that the sooner the help and diagnosis the better. they also said repeatedly that medicated children do FAR BETTER than kids that are not medicated. The studies supported this concept over and over again. There is no cure for ADHD but they can start to develop life skills and coping mechanisms and when they are medicated they have the composure to start developing those skills.

As far as biased or negitive views of people who have ADHD it is thier problem not yours. The school is mandated to offer accomidations for these kids and they can recieve the services that help them to succeed. As long as your child recieves everything they need to succeed then that is the best you can offer your child anything else is suboptimal.

As far as your child feeling bad about the diagnosis goes...your child already feels out of place. They know that they are different and this helps them to fit in better and assists them in thier peer relationships. It is all in how you present it and how your personal views on the situation come across to your child that really matters. Even for my little girl at 4 was aware that the medications made her feel better and made it easier to "be a good girl". It was right away that she herself started to call it her "good girl medicine".

As far as I am concerned getting diagnosed and starting the meds was a life saver for her and our family. She still has her moments everyday that are trying, but life over all is so much better. I can still see a HUGE difference if she had her meds late or they were forgotten, so I know our life is much better thru chemical living! : ) I guess I look at it as if she were a diabetic I would not ever think of depriving her of insulin and her medications are her insulin that she needs to get thru the day/life.

Good luck! FYI Fish oil is also one of the "medications" that helps as well if you want to start with something today.

No experience as a mom with a child with ADD, but my husband was diagnosed with ADD as a child. He switched schools a couple times until he found a good fit in elementary school. He also was medicated (I believe he was given some sort of amphetamine.), but he said he hated the feeling of being medicated. He did not feel like himself. So, he stopped taking the medication (I forget what age he was when he decided to do that.), and just worked on doing things like making lists, etc. to keep himself focused.
As a person who is living with an adult with mild ADD, I can tell you it is frustrating at times. I am an especially organized, anal person and his lack of focus can really be something difficult for me to deal with. I think if he had been given more tools earlier on to deal with the ADD, and not been relying on the medication, he would be better off. He continues to struggle with it, but I think it helps for him to have me around to steer him back on track when he needs it.
Keep pushing for your son to get the best teachers and the extra attention he needs, and I know he will do great!

Educate yourself on ADD/ADHD (Internet is good) and request that the school have him tested (most have a district pyschologist). In a high percentage of cases ADD & learning disabilities go hand in hand. Our daughter was 7 when she was tested. There are newer & safer medicines for ADD. If your child has ADD and is left untreated he is at high risk for failing in school eventually, having low self esteem, etc. Don't be afraid of doctor supervised medications. Just be sure you have a Dr. who specializes in ADD - not just his regular pediatrician, etc.

Hi M.,

I was in the same boat as you. My son was 7 when he was diagnosed with ADHD. No focus or attention span. Although his teachers could tell that he was very smart (as most of thses kids are), he was doing horribly in school. He was barely reading at a 1st grade level. I did start him on meds & he was on them for 31/2 years. Through counseling we found out that he was depressed & had a great deal of anxiety. He would barely speak to adults unless he absolutely had to. I made the decision to bring into his psycologist not medicated & she couldn't get over the difference. He was happy & some of his anxiety was gone. I have never had him on meds since. I started looking into homeopathy & found a homeopath in Madison, WI. We live in a rural area & so had to travel 41/2 hrs to get there but it was worth every penny. Homeopathy is a treatment using natural substances found in nature. It helps the body get back in chemical balance. There is a lot of info on the internet & is worth looking into. My son is now 12 & is dong great. We almost have him where he should be. After his 1st remedy, within 6 weeks, we saw a totally different kid. He is so happy & outgoing now. His focus & attention are greatly improve. And after 3 years of C's & D's, he is almost straight A's & has made the Honor Roll. He says that he notices a big difference in himslef & that things are easier now & there isn't as much noise in his head. If you like, I would be happy to answer any questions that you have. I did not jump into this without doing a lot of research. Please feel free to email privately if you wish ____@____.com

D.

Hi M.,

As a classroom teacher, I have seen kids with ADHD and ADD. It is a real issue. There are kids who cannot function without medication and there are a lot of kids on medication who shouldn't be. As his mother, you will be one of the only ones who can make that decision as to what is best for your son. You know him the best.

I want to also let you know that there is no way of officially diagnosing ADHD/ADD. There is no testing of academics or medical. It is a diagnosis that is made by a doctor who has gathered information from the main people in your child's life. The doctor will give his teachers, his parents, and any care providers a list of questions that are answered by circling numbers as to the degree of severity (0-5). Then based on the parents request and the 'surveys' a diagnosis is made and medication may be prescribed.

There are lots of parents who have children who suffer from this and some have found ways to help/cope with their children. I suggest that you continue to look for this type of information on the internet. There is research that shows what your child eats, how much he sleeps, and how much he exercises influences these issues that your son portrays.

I also suggest that you request that the teacher ask his/her colleagues for advice on helping your son and provide you with a list of things to try since they know him in the school setting. There are support teams made of teachers at every school to do this. This is the team that reviews kids with possible learning disabilities and makes suggestions for interventions if necessary before a child is tested.

I would also really study your child's learning style and see if you can tweak his assignments and environment to better suit him. Does he learn auditorally? Does he learn hands on? Does he learn from memorization? If he learns in any of these ways, how can you change what he is doing in the direction he learns best? (You can also look online to find quick assessments to help guide you.)

If you decide to get an evaluation and he is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, then you need to request that your child be put on a 504 Plan. It is a simple procedure that requires the school to put all of the accomodations and modifications in writing to best ensure your child's rights for learning. It costs you nothing and the school has 30 days to either deny or provide the plan (they can't with a written diagnosis from your child's doctor). This plan is common sense on paper. If your child needs to sit in a less distractive place in the room, then it is documented and is in 'stone'. He may need extra time organizing his books and writing assignments in his planner, the Plan allows this if it is writtien in it. The accomodations and modifications are those that DO NOT require extra assistance from a teacher (that would technically cost money and that is not what a 504 Plan is for...it is to protect your child's right to an education). Only under an IEP (Individual Education Plan) can those types of services be given...they are federally funded and only for Special Education students.

If you request a 504 Plan, be prepared with a list of ideas you would like to add. It should be a collaboration with the school and you. The 504 Plan will follow him through school and can be updated yearly or whenever you (the parent) requests it. It usually isn't necessary in elementary because the teachers are usually willing to do whatever it takes, but it is good to have when your child doesn't get one of those teachers.

I hope you get lots of help in your journey. Every person learns differently and it is sometimes very difficult to figure out the best course of action. You are on your way of helping your child reach his potential.

Best wishes to you and your family.

My girlfriend's son was dealing with ADD and didn't want to medicate him either. Here is what her experience has been:

"My son, Mario, is 9 and in 4th grade. He was struggling in school because he was not able to concentrate. The pediatrician was going to test him by giving him a computer test, then give him a dose of ritalin, and then test him 1 ½ hours later and see if he did better. If it helped, then he had ADD/ADHD and they were going to prescribe him ritalin.

I did not want my son tested that way. I was not going to put my son on a class 2 narcotic. I am not saying there is no need at all for this, but I was not going to jump the gun and put my son on it. He went through a 3 day comprehensive test resulting in a diagnosis of borderline dyslexia and ADHD.

I knew I could help him with nutritional products. Melaleuca’s Provex line is a natural antihistamine and a natural anti-inflammatory that crosses the blood brain barrier and Phytomega is a product that calms the brain of ADD/ADHD in children and adults. Mario weighs about 64 lbs and he takes one pack a day of the Vitality Gold (which is a multi vitamin and mineral complex with florify and cellwise) 6 Provex and 4 Phytomega each day.

No toxins in our personal care products and our home products are key too. Chemicals wreak havoc on our systems so you want to get all the harsh chemicals out of your home. When you do the inside out and all around thing – meaning safe products in your home and proper nutrition, your body can do more of what it needs to do to keep it healthy instead of fighting the chemical bombardment.

Mario just got his report card from his teacher and it says, “Mario, thank you for all of your hard work in class this year. You concentrate and are progressing in all areas because you are able to focus. I am impressed with your successes in reading. Keep up the great work. You should be proud of yourself”! Mario is getting all S’s, S+’s and an E. This is huge, he was getting many P’s before (meaning not up to satisfactory level for his age)."

If you want more information about Melaleuca products, please contact me directly and I can help you out.

M.,
Your story sounds almost identical to mine. My son is 8 1/2 years old and despite his ADHD was doing fine in school until this year. But in 2nd grade his inability to concentrate was causing him to start to fall behind his peers. I DID proceed with a Dr. appointment after having him evaluated by a psychologist and we decided to try him on (the minimum dose) Vyvansee, an ADHD drug. In the 3 weeks since he started his teachers noticed a MAJOR improvement. I am self-employed (also self imsured) and the pills are not inexpensive. My doctor helped me by getting the first month free, and a reduced rate through the drug company. I'm sure your doctor would also be aware of these options. I have to add here that I FOUGHT the idea of medication with all that I had, but the improvement is SO tremendous I can't believe it. Before going to the meds I used diet changes, herbal approaches and sensory-integration therapy, with little success.You can't go wrong by sitting down with your Dr./psychologist and at least discussing your options. Bringing some school records/testing would also be helpful if your school psychologist has been involved.My sone has had incredible support from his school and they have made many accomodations in his education plan to assist him.

A Little About Me: Self employed Bed & Breakfast Owner, widowed w/ 1 son.

I had three children with this problem, one with ADD and two with ADHD (these being stepchildren. I would advise calling your county social services and ask for some pamphlets and also talk to your doctor and go to the library. The information you get is very helpful, but, of course, a lot of it does not apply to each specific case. Two or the above have turned out pretty good; the other is also borderline mentally retarded and a huge problem. She, unfortunately, ran into a boy and his father who are both ADHD and mentally unbalanced, who seemed to be able to talk her into anything they wanted. It has turned into a court case where she has an individual with no interest in our family or her and that is her is caretaker and money manager. Good luck, you do not have an easy road with an ADD or ADHD child. Mine are all 40+, 23 and 21.

We are going through similar things with our 8 yr old son. He doesn't have problems with his school work except for handwriting. The classroom teacher seems to have a handle on him, but the other teachers think he needs medication. We started seeing a psychologist 6 months ago as advised by his pediatrician. We have a meeting set up with the AEA and the school to come up with a behavior plan for him. It will be based on rewarding his good behavior more than punishing his bad behavior. Ask your son what will help him. Does he need to sit closer to the teacher? Would it be better for him to sit facing only a few of his classmates? Set goals for him that are immediately rewarding. Telling him that if he is 'good' all week he gets a treat doesn't work. He doesn't think that far ahead. They are literally in the moment. Our teacher has a punch card system. Our son carries it with him and when she is walking around the classroom or when she catches him being good she punches his card. For so many punches he gets to choose another student to have lunch with him in the classroom. It's hard with the med. thing. Right now, we have not exhausted every option. To us, it's a last resort. We have a strict bedtimes and no sugar. He has to eat enough protein at every meal or he can't maintain himself anywhere-including baseball practice. Good luck and hang in there.

If you live in the Brookfield, WI area, you may want to check out Pinnacle Chiropractic/Maximized Living, a chiropractic and wellness center. This chiro is young, very very inteliigent and a huge believer in treating kids with potential ADD/ADHD with spinal adjustments instead of meds. It's worth a free consultation and talking with him about it.

M.-

We are still in the learning process with all of this, as my daughter was diagnosed with ADD about 2 months ago. We did many other measures before choosing medication and diagnosis. I really knew in my heart there was a problem, so we tried Omega 3 and that helped, but not enough.

As far as your concern about a "stigma', really noone needs to know, unless you tell them. Of course the teacher really should know, but if he has a teacher that really does not have a vested interest in your child and your relationship, it may not matter. My daughter's teacher is incredible this year and really worked with us on moving forward and helped us in developing her 504 plan. Really the only accomadations that are made, is that her teacher gives her a sticky note to write in her plannner vs. her looking up at the board. Therefore, none of her classmates even know.

There are sooooo many positives we have experienced with her on medication for both our family and for her. She was doing the 2nd grade math timed tests and only getting 40 out of 100 right in 10 minutes, now she gets 98-100 right in 6-7 minutes. She loved books, but had difficulty reading, and therefore would fight us, now she reads for fun and reads independently and can read 20 pages at a time. Some of the negatives have been her loss of appetite and weight loss, and difficulty falling asleep. Her sleep issue seems to be stabalizing,but the weight still concerns me, she lost 6 pounds in a month, and she is little aready.

It is not a fun process, and as I said we are still learning, but I am glad we did it now and didn't wait until she completely fell behind. Good Luck!

Hello - while I don't have ADD/ADHD experience, my daughter does have Asperger's Syndrome (her symptoms are very similiar to ADD) - the medication the DR wanted to put her on was the same for ADD. I was nervous to put her on it because I was afraid of side effects that she couldn't properly articulate them to me/DR. So I did research and found a link between Gluten and Asperger's/ADD. She is now gluten free and it's made the world of a difference in her socially and academically. I would urge you to research this a little before just medicating.

D.

As a person with ADHD the best thing you can do for your child is treat it and not let it go on. Some people probably don't agree with me, but as a person with it, treating it is the best thing to do. Just try and put yourself in your child's mind. Constantly running a hundred miles an hour and not being able to calm down sometimes. He may never grow out of it either. I was on something from the time I was in second grade until high school and am now back on something as an adult. The medication would help him focus more, and quite frankly sometimes just let his brain slow down sometimes. Like you said, it is costly. I am on one now that is $160 a month. Luckily I have good insurance. There are alot of programs out there to help people pay for medications and doctor visits. Just ask the people at your clinic or wherever you go what there is to help people with their bills and medications. Also ask your county. I understand that you may not want to do that, but in today's economy we have to put our pride aside and take care of ourselves. They may not get it right with the first medication, becuase as you know we are all different and what works for someone may not work for your son, but it is definitly be worth it. It can only help him.

Hi M.,

I am a chiropractor and I have helped many children with the symptoms of ADD/ADHD. I took a 3 year course so I could specialize in Pediatrics and pregnancy so you may want to look for a chiropractor with those specialties.

The other thing i learned in all the classes I took was to give the child papaya enzyme which helps digest proteins. The theory is that the children have troubles digesting proteins in their diet so trying the papaya enzyme may help too.

Good luck!

I have a child who is ADHD and the decision to medicate was painful but necessary. School was difficult and home life was even worse. She began medication at the end of first grade and is doing well both at school and home and now she is in 6th grade. I think that kids get a "stigma" for something whether it be "slow", "hyper" or whatever. Most of my daughters teachers didn't even know she had ADHD until I told them because with medication, she does really well. We were reminded over the weekend when she didn't take her medication how much she really needs it. It is expensive however. A one month supply cost around $150- luckily our insurance does cover some of it. It is an expense we are willing to endure because of the amazing results. We have many family members who don't even know because they would flip if they knew she was on medication, but they are so proud of the changes in her since she has "grown up".

You also mentioned vision problems. Recently I had my daughter do a vision therapy test and found out that she has some vision issues that therapy can help. She has always had comprehension issues even though she is extremely bright. I met an eye doctor who is amazing with this- his name is Dr. Trent Cole and he has offices in Cottage Grove and Oakdale. The test is about 45 minutes long and it gives data on how your child is seeing different shapes, objects and letters. It is not a vision test that tells if they need glasses- it is a test that shows if the eye and the brain are working together as they should. I wish I could explain it better because so many kids have these issues and they are masked by behavior problems or academic failure. His Cottage Grove locations phone number is ###-###-####. I think the test was about $100 but I'm sure he would work with you because he is very passionate about this issue. We are starting home therapy so we don't have to go to his office and not incur that expense also. Good Luck- keep fighting for your children- it is always worth it!

M.,

God Bless the teacher that says, "Do not medicate." You are right...she is one in a million. There are more out there, but far and few between.

I don't believe any school district will cover the cost of the medication, and it does not come without side effects, as you know. Is the school making accommodations for your son via a 504 plan, or an IEP? There may be MANY other things that can be done without having to medicate. As a therapist that has worked with hundreds of children, I can tell you that there are a few kids who do benefit from the meds, but MANY, MANY can succeed without it. Try everything you can prior to turning to the meds. As a parent, you can advocate for your child. (Also, there are natural alternatives available.)

One clinician wrote a wonderful book,
"Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach"....and studies confirmed that a high number of students that were ALREADY on ADHD meds AND stronger meds for mental illness, were able to come off the meds when parents and teachers used the techniques in the book! It's worth checking out, anyways. It is simple and it works!

As always, check with your own physician for medical advice. You may also find some support through your school social worker or counselor. He/she can assist your son with strategies to use at school, as well.

Good Luck!

W...mom of 3
www.kidlutions.com

you are right mom to be so hesitant. our niece is on meds for something like that and shes still a bit screwey... they have to mess with the amount and kind of meds, and ... sometimes its just like she's checked out.
however, sometimes kids just cant stay entertained by homework and school things because its too... dry?
if you watch cartoons these days, everything moves so quickly. pictures flash across the screen. so many things are happening at once. and most kids who watch movies and stuff, are playing with toys at the same time. this naturally is going to make anything that isnt as exciting seem boring, and they wont be able to keep their attention to it!

OR
it could be that the work is either too hard or too easy for him! elementary was so boring for me, i was ahead of my class, but because i was behind socially (sorta an aspergers - form of autism - is suspected...) my mom kept me in my class instead of bumping me ahead a grade.
so i was never challenged... however, when i was finally challenged, sometimes it was hard for me to stay interested!

so just be patient, and try different things. limit cartoons and movies to when there isnt any other playing going on, turn them off if he wants to play.... try to watch cartoons that maybe move slower and simpler.

also, usborne books are fun educational books for kids of all ages. as a consultant, i can help you find books your kids will love, and will help them to enjoy learning and reading! many homeschooling parents use usborne books in their curriculums!
www.usbornforthefuture.com is my website - and look in the upper right of the page in the shop and click on the current show!
anyway, good luck, and dont feel pressured by anyone to medicate! trust your instincts! :D :D :D

I know you have received a lot of information and I just have a little bit to add. My 7 year old has ADHD and he is medicated and has been for the last 2 1/2 years. He has extreme inattention and will literally get nothing done in school if we forget his meds. We have never truly explained to him why he takes the meds except to tell him that they help him concentrate on what the teacher is telling him to do. We don't allow him to blame forgetting the meds on naughty behavior we explain to him that he made those choices.

One thing my pediatrican warned us about is Natural and other treatments that are not governed by the FDA because they can change ingredent levels and substatue different ingredents without warning which may cause a reaction from you son. If you are going to treat him in anyway medically do it with a trusted precription medicine.

The only thing the school district will cover is two counciling sessions with their psychologist. We did that be personally we have been through 5 psychologist in 4 years and haven't had much progress with any.

Are open to a natural means of taking care of your son's what appears to be ADD? We do have a product that has helped thousands of children and adults. Get all the info you want about OPC-3 at marketamerica.com/tkwentland. Then let us know if you want to give it a try.

Hi M.,
I own a store for products with kids with special needs and disabilities. I talk to parents all over the country and look at tons of products. My son also has Down syndrome.

There are several things that you might look into before going the medical route. Diet can sometimes make a big difference in ADD/ADHD, such as cutting out glutens, wheat, and casiens.

Also, I carry a vitamin called Mighty Mins which has a very good study associated with them regarding ADD and behavioral issues.

If you are interested in more information, please feel free to email me at ____@____.com luck and good job being so on top of things for your son.

K.

If your son has difficulty reading that could be part of his problem there. Goofing off could be a cover up for it. Before you decide to medicate him look into other problems. I have a child with ADD and also a learning disability. Her problems are 2 fold.
If you can't afford it there may be a countybehavioral health office. Most time they do things on a sliding fee scale and a lot of times things under a certain income are free. Look into this before you pay over $100 and hour out of pocket.

I would also encourage you to look at options that provide natural help. They're less costly. For instance, I know there's a lot of research out there to support kids taking Omega 3 supplements, that this helps with brain and nervous system function, and can help kids with ADD or ADHD.