Looking for Advice - Las Vegas,NV

He needs to clean up his own mess. Its all about control. If he doesn't want to take the time to go to the toilet then he needs to clean it up. All of it by himself. I have 3 boys, you need to put an end to it ASAP. If and when you find it make him stop what he is doing and clean it up there and then it won't be easy and you have to stick to it but he has to realize that unless he uses the toilet he will have to clean up the mess.

Good Luck

I have a 10 year old grandson who seems to be interested in peeing outside whenever he can. This seems to be a boy thing that needs to be corrected. I'm sure its fun for them to pee on a tree rather than find a bathroom, but there are rules for this type of behavior. I have never experienced the indoor peeing problem. What happens to your son when he pees in the house. Are there ramifications to his behavior? I think if you have access to a therapist, that would be a good idea. It could be from something he is dealing with that is causing him upset.

Oh T.,

I have said some immediate prayers for you. This does not sound right at all! I am thinking that there must be more to this story. What is his dad saying about this? is his dad in the home? Does he do this at school? Other peoples homes? Good grief, I totally understand your frustration!

Are there developement issues?

I would be seeking immediate help from a MFCC (marriage and family counselor) Is he angry about something?

One supernatural rosary on the way for you!

in His name,

C.

T.,

You mention that he is "still" peeing in the wrong places and when he has uses the common bathroom he chooses to aim for the garbage can. It sounds like he's been doing this for a very long time. At ten years old, I'm pretty certain he knows right from wrong in this situation. He has probably continued to do this because there were no consequences to his actions. I think it makes sense to have him clean up after himself.
Although finding out why he is doing what he's doing could help both of you, I don't believe in making excuses for poor behavior. Get counseling if you feel it's necessary and begin to deal with his actions today, lovingly. Don't ridicule him (I'm sure you don't), but just let him know that he needs to clean up after himself. And, hopefully, he sees that the other kids also have to clean up after themselves whenever they make a mess, whatever kind of mess it is.
He might just need a little more attention from you. He might notice that you give him lots of attention when you discover what he's done. Try to give him good, positive attention, even if you have to put something else aside.
As far as what to use to clean up the mess, I have found a cleaner at the pet supply (that works for people messes too) that is called Simple Solution. It removes the smell of urine and feces to the point that even animals aren't supposed to smell it. It also removes stains very well. I've used it on kid messes in my own home with great results.
I wish you the best.

God bless,
J.

Hi T.. No, this is NOT normal behavior! First, have him evaluated by his pediatrician to rule out any physical problems. Ruling out medical issues, I highly recommend you get your family in therapy with a qualified Family Therapist as soon as possible. Your son's behavior may be more a display of anger and control than laziness. Is this behavior isolated to just within the home environment, or does he also do this at school, at friend's or relatives homes. or out in public? Make sure to advise your health care professional of these important details. D. L/RMFT

Hi Keri-
My son is still so young and not potty trained, so Im not sure what I would do. I know with my older girls, I would make them clean up there bathroom mess. No matter what they would be doing, home work, playing or watching TV. I dont want to clean it up, so maybe having him clean the bathroom as a chore and show him its not fun to clean up someones pee. Maybe be there helping him and showing him properly.. This is a guess, other people have recommended therepy.... so follow your heart..
Good luck, I maybe be asking you in the future...lol

When my son was fresh out of potty traning, he had a bit of trouble with his accuracy. i felt that this was a job for dad, not mom. I mean seriously, what do I know I can't even write my name in the snow! LOL I also found he was more comfortable with talking to another guy. Since your kid(im not sure which son it is, my guess the 10yr old) is getting to that age where privicy is getting important to them. And he might be embaressed talking to mom about it. You might want some guy help. Dad, older brother, grandpa or even a freind of yours he likes. It might make him more comfortable and it would help.

My best friend's son used to pee in the corner of his bedroom. It was because he didn't want to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and when he was playing in his room, he didn't want to stop playing. He was being lazy. He was 5 years old, not 10. There is something else going on if your son is doing this at an older age. I agree with the others when I say that he needs some professional help or therapy. There is no reason why a 10 year old can't make it to the bathroom and feels he has to pee all over the house. These places will have to be professionally cleaned. If he is pooping in the house too, that is a health issue. Feces carries bacteria and germs, so it is not safe to have it lying around your house.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this situation! Peace to you!!

At first I was going to say this is probably normal (my son is two) he doesn't do this anymore but went through a short phase and did it for fun. But I see your sons are 10 and 15, which one are you talking about? Not that it really matters. So what do you mean? Does he pee on the couch? Pee on the kitchen table? Pee in the backyard? Pee in his underwear? Just pee where he is? I can't really even give an honest opinion without that info. My gut says, no he shouldn't be doing that but maybe there is more to it? Did it just start? Has he always gone pee where he wants? Maybe you could give more info so others can reply knowing more about your situation.
Thanks,
M.

I am frustrated on your behalf, this behavior is disgusting and has made your home a hazardous waste facility. If your son cannot take care of his business properly then perhaps you should direct him to go outside like a pet. Or, try taking him to the pet store and purchasing (with his own money/allowance) the same products you would use to rid your home of pet stains/smell and make him clean up his own mess. How does he handle himself in school? Why defile his own house? I guess I am confused by the entire situation. I wish you the best of luck.

T.,
I agree that you should seek medical advice from a doctor and/or therapist. There is an underlying reason (be it emotional or physiological) that your son is acting out in this way. I don't think time outs or punishment will work because there is obviously something else going on that he doesn't know how to verbalize. And I 100% absolutely DISAGREE with the advice to treat him like a pet dog. That is disgusting in and of itself and will NOT make the situation any better and will only make your son feel worthless causing him additional emotional pain to which he will only find other ways to act out. I would start with discussing this with your son's Pediatrician and possibly asking for a referral to a specialist. In addition, talk to a family therapist. I don't believe children act out this way "just because they choose to". It's possible he's doing it for attention, but the question is "why?" and until that is dealt with, your son and your family will only hurt from it. While this behavior cannot be acceptable, it needs to be dealt with in a loving way so your son can get the help he needs. Hang in there, you will find the answers and don't give up. I wish you all the best.

Hi T.,
I am sorry for your situation! It has been my knowledge that when "acting up" involves an older age child and bodily functions that there is more at hand than a simple potty training issue. I would look into seeing a therapist or counselor and have him evaluated.
Good luck!