I was on a parenting board for 3.5 years. I have not posted much over the last year as the environment of the board has changed. I used to feel supported on the entire board and in a due date club, which I have actively participated in. The clickiness and mean-spiritedness has grown to a point where I no longer feel comfortable participating. One of the last straws was someone attacking me in my due date club for being able to stay home full-time with my small children. One of the things actually said to me, was "have I ever struggled?" Now, money is not something I discuss with people, so frankly, I'm not sure where she got that idea. This person may be going through a hard time, but it's difficult to guage as she won't say a whole lot, it's more just the passive-aggressive or snide remarks she'll make to and about me and others that leads me to believe that things are bad for her. This wouldn't be so bad if it was one person, but it seems to be embedded in the community and this leaks into the due date club where I used to have friends. The change in the environment may be why a once supportive person is now different, along with any possible troubles she might have. Because she is well-liked and no longer likes me, I feel like I've been de-friended by others in the due date club. I get the feeling that because I haven't posted about money problems that I'm a "bad person." My husband actually went 7 years before he got a well-deserved promotion, but I felt so fortunate he had his job that I didn't complain. Also, because of the snide remarks I've gotten, I didn't bother posting this good news.
Also, if you believe in God or pray, you will be told you believe in Santa Clause and are probably a person of questionable morale and/or intelligence. This does not happen in the due date club, but is pervasive on the rest of the site. Mostly I'm hurt and sad that what was once a decent support network has changed into something ugly and, well, childish.
My question is, have you encountered this (a change of environment) on a website? If so, how did you deal with the hurt feelings? This was my first experience with getting involved in an online community besides Facebook, so I'm surprised and have been weaning myself of being addicted to that site. It's just not healthy for me any more. Any shared experiences or advice would be wonderful.
After reading several questions and answers on this board, I've seen that it's a great support network and seems pretty non-judgemental. I hope to hang out and get to some some other mothers better.
Yes, these were people I knew well as we met privately online, including on Facebook. A lot of what I was referring to was not answers to questions, like on Mamapedia, but deeper discussions between what the board referred to as buddies. I am off the board a lot now. Yesterday, in response to one post, I did increase my volunteer activities and will take my twins to go visit elderly people, who could use a visit, at a nursing home just up the road. I have appreciated the responses!
We are moving to a new home next week. I have been a member of two new mom's groups near this new home since July. The old home we had (sold in June) was in an area where it was difficult to meet up with other SAHMs during the day and find playgroups, hence the talking to friends on the Internet when my kids were not in kid-type classes. I know now not to take that experience personally. I'm now trying to work up the courage to delete them from Facebook friends list. Thanks again!
I don't think anyone here gangs up on anyone (clique). Ive been on this board for a while and I love it. It's sensitive, informative and sometimes challenging. I look forward to it every morning with my coffee :)
You will find that this board has a lot of good people with good insight, networking and ideas.
You'll also find a lot of rude, judgemental, jealous people as well. That just happens on whatever board you are on.
Be aware when you post a question for an opinion,,,you are getting an opinion from a stranger who does not know you so try not to take it personally if you find the opinion offensive, hurtful, judgemental.
Again, I have seen more good than bad on this site. I have been attacked via the private mails and on the public forum due to a response.
Realize this....most people would NEVER say the negative things said on a forum in person to you. It is conventient to sit back and give opinions, even harsh ones from behind a computer screen. I try to answer the same way I would if I were looking at someone face to face.
Welcome to mamapedia!
Beware that MANY people on this website are just as rude! You will find rude people everywhere - it is unavoidable, unfortunately. But there are nice people on mamapedia, too, so hopefully you can just ignore the rude ones and only focus on the nice responses. Good luck with this board and I hope you like it better than your old one! And, assuming you have never bragged about your good financial position, that rude girl who asked you if you ever struggled is simply jealous! Still, very rude and inappropriate.
We have our moments on here too. You get strong opinions on occasion that may differ from yours..... it's all about glomming the info together, throwing out the two extreme sides and take the majority of answers that are probably the ones that you wanted to hear.
This is where the gals on here get mad, if it's something you dont want to hear it makes you mad and you take it personal.... taking it personal is the part that needs to be removed when you follow a board. We arent always right, and the world isn't all that fair, and things are not always going to go our way.
None of us know each other on here, we arent going to run into one another on the playground or in the super market so I don't see any reason to battle. If you dont like someones opinion just leave it at that, when you re-post with anger THAT starts the battle and I think it's so childish... but that is just my opinion ;)
Welcome to the board, there are some great women on here and tons of info.
I think you'll find there are MANY different beliefs and opinions on this board as well as a wide array of educational, age and income levels. If you post something containing a divisive issue or, quite honestly, something most of us simply drop our jaws over no matter what our personal beliefs (ex: "Should I leave my boyfriend because he beats me and my kids?"), then you may feel "judged" -but that's the nature of posting questions on a public site. I've also found that many people post questions asking for everyone's opinions, but if the opinions resoundingly are not what they want to hear -then they give feedback that we're all really rude. If you're simply looking for info or have a question, you're likely to get really good information here. Welcome!
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Oh do not worry, there are people on this board that can be pretty rough.
I am sorry you feel like you have lost that connection after investing so much of yourself to that website. .
Remember we can only respond to what you write, so if you leave out a major piece of info it can also cause some strange answers.. We do not know you.
Be sure also that if you are a sensitive type person to include that info.
I am the type of person that assumes if you are a mom with multiple children, you do not have time to be coddled and can handle the truth.. Some moms do not really want to hear the whole truth they just want to be reassured their choices will not hurt their children.. Gosh knows I have been there. ..
Welcome to the site! I stumbled on it last spring and I have had only great experiences here. Occasionally someone will respond with something that the rest of us think is rude, but for the most part everyone is very supportive. I have had help with all kinds of things. It's great to be able to ask such a wide variety of different kinds of moms for help without getting 'those looks' or judgement being passed because you didn't know how to figure it out for yourself.
All women should support each other!
Hi there!
I've been on mamapedia since it was mamasource and absolutely love it.
I think part of the reason I like the site so much is that I don't know anybody in person (I don't think so anyway) and only know them by their screen name. Sometimes you just need to talk and know that somebody else is listening. Mamapedia is perfect for that. Generally speaking, there is no personal history between any of us so there really isn't a good foundation for us to pass judgment on each other. I'm sure there have been instances of this but I personally have never felt anything but a sense of kindness and consideration from the other mommies posting and/or leaving advice.
Hope this helps and we can all say "Welcome". :-)
I've been cyber stalked, had arguments with board admins, left boards, joined boards, I actually was the catalyst for splitting up a board once (it was a long time coming and the board split into two factions, those that supported the woman stalking me, and those that didn't).
The only one I have stuck with long term is one where I have personally met the other moms. We do camping trips every year or every other year. Few of us live in the same city, but we have been through thick and thin together for the last 8 years.
Maybe you can just take a break for a while from that board, I have to do that sometimes when someone gets under my skin. Or you can start your own board, make up your own rules, and invite those you'd like to join. The one I go to now is an offshoot of the Mothering boards, which got too big and too overly-moderated for our liking. Try not to take anything said online too personally. People have an awful lot of courage to say stupid stuff when they can hide behind a computer to do so.
Welcome! I hope you'll like this site and use it often to ask & give advice and opinions. What makes it great is that people's beliefs are all over the board. Be aware that most moms (including me) have no trouble giving honest advice. But in general I find it a supportive community of moms. And our differences are what makes us strong! What a boring world it would be if we all thought the same way.
Sometimes it's tough to respond to some of the questions and not be viewed as rude by the one we're responding to. I try and look at their question with the view that the person asking the question really wants an HONEST answer and not looking to just justify their position so they can use our answers to beat up on their spouses.
I try and not answer a post if I'm out of sorts or am having a bad day because that colors my answer.
I have traveled a few miles on the road of life. I've stepped in many pot holes. Some of which I dug deeper before I stepped in. I do my best to help my fellow travelers to NOT step in the same pot holes that I did.
I hope you like mamapedia and I hope you will contribute. Just remember, we all make mistakes.
Good luck to you and yours.
This is my favorite site ever. You can answers quickly and from a variety of opinions. I have not ever been attacked here.
I came here for the same reason. At another site, they have started clubs specifically for people with their "big girl panties" as if not liking being attacked, judged, and ridiculed makes us the immature ones. You have to read the club welcome to see the tone.
I do know that there are several post where the person says "I am posting this anonymously because I don't want to get attacked." There are meanies everywhere, but here you can report inappropriate posts. I haven't seen the attacking here. Perhaps they edit it out?
Was the board one where you actually knew each other too, in person? I have never gotten a clique-y feel on here. Sure there are strong opinions, and rude people, but there are also very nice and supportive people too.
I have been on and off here since it was Mamasource, about three or four years now. For the most part, people are supportive and give helpful advise and suggestions you might not know about or have ever heard of before.
There are some subjects that many seem to be very opinionated about, and some will bash you for not doing it *their way.* Take it with a grain of salt. I myself have bad days and I may have sounded snarky from time to time. (Sorry if I have offended.) What can I say? I am a human after all! The beauty of it is you can take what you want and leave the rest.
Welcome aboard!! :)
I love Mamapedia, and have had nothing but positive experiences here!
Internet aside, do you have any interest in making connections to Mamas in person?
You could look for a local MOPS (mothers of preschoolers - but it's for ages 0-5) group, or Mothers Day Out program, or Mothers of Multiples group. Check with local churches or your library, or community recreation center.
I enjoy making connections online as well, but there is something that I find that is SO good-for-the-soul in making these connections in "real life".
Hope you find what you're looking for!
Mamasource is fun, friendly and honest. That said, if you need face to face, you might look for a group at your church. OR start your own with people you like and respect.
