I am a wife, mother, and childcare provider, among other things. We moved to MD in late 05. We relocated from Miami, where I was attending graduate school. And let me tell you, I miss FL so much!!!! I was pregnant when we moved and had my son in May of 06. Prior to getting pregnant, I was in college since 01. I was fun, sontaneous, and a social butterfly. Since pregnancy, my life has changed drastically. I have some family here in Balt., but other than that I really havent made too much of an effort to meet people to socialize with and talk to. Although I have a great hubby and relationship with him, I'm still lonely and miss the friendships and outings of my college years. I still correspond with many of my friends. However, they are at very different places in life, or live no where near us. I am in desperate need of adult conversation and friendship, especially since my days are consumed by little ones. Does anyone have advice on meeting people? It was so much easier in college and during my single years. Especially since I was an udergrad at Penn State, a campus with over 40,000 students. People have suggested going to a gym, and things like that. I definitely would appreciate any other suggestions. Thanks. And if you are in a similar situation, then please feel free to send me a message.
Hi E.. I can totally relate. I was also the girl who was always out and about. Never a dull moment and now I am the only one with children. I am also in Baltimore and am in need of adult time. Maybe we could schedule a playdate? I have a 6 month old and an 18 month old. I have been wanting to take them to the aquarium. Interested??
E., I can understand how you feel about this. And I applaud your reaching out to find ways to have adult social interactions. If you look at the things that YOU like to do, then you can find places to meet others with similar interests. Having that common ground makes it much easier to connect. That's why people find it easy to socialize at college, there is common ground with everyone. Find a way to meet people up here that have something in common with you. If you like reading, spend time in book stores. See if there's a book club around. If you are religious, maybe your church has some kind of outreach or service group that you can join. Teach Sunday School. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Volunteer at the zoo, a park a library or a museum. My then widowed sister met her now husband volunteering at the Museum of Industry, so I know that's a tried and true way to socialize, lol. Volunteering has the added benefit that you know you are making this world a better place for others. Two good things all in one, a social form of double dipping. Go out and meet your neighbors. If you like gardening, see who has a nice garden and ask them for tips as to what grows up here in the far North (to a Floridian, lol.) See if there's a garden club in your area. And joining the local gym is another option if you like to exercise, but you may run into people who only want to exercise and not to talk. OK, I've run out of ideas, I hope some have helped. Good Luck!
same situation, even moving from south florida here in 06, but unlike you, i don't miss florida
:)
things change, and while we definitely become prisoners for a few years due to routine which we need to stick to with kids, things change constantly. like a year ago if someone would suggest i travel i would laugh my behind off. travel? with twins? only if an army of doctors came with me.
now my kids are 3 years old and i can take them to more places. hang out, grab a lunch and do something more than we were doing a year ago for example.
i am lonely too. i have no friends around. my hubby isn't the talking type while i am. i work from home, so no socialization in that aspect either. i keep in touch with 'childless' friends but it's hard because they want to talk about heartbreaks, and shopping while i look at myself and think 'hmm good idea, its 3 pm i should get out of pjs :)
i don't miss college life though. just think back, a few years ago we didn't know what we were going to do when 'we grow up.' jobs, moving, start brand new. we don't have those fears anymore. now, i am joyful in a day when kids don't have colds and fevers and i am in hands and knees attending to them when they are. i am raising my future travel companions. actually that's the hardest i guess. i miss just looking at plane tix and book it. go. see a foreign place, order food i can't pronounce
but i will do it in a couple of years. who knows maybe next year. in meantime, get a book, or join a pool place, or even start mami and me classes. maybe you'll meet someone you like and can have playdates with kids together.
it will get better. it won't go back to what it was but it will be something new and always better than the present.
vlora
I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to what you're feeling. I have most of my family here in MD, but I can understand your lonliness. It's hard to stay at home with a toddler everyday and not have an outlet, a way to socialize with other adults. All of the previous suggestions are great. The only thing that I would add is to actually schedule at least one day a week where you set aside time to do something you like. If you don't actually set aside the time, you'll never get around to it because there's always something that needs to be done for the house, the hubby, or the kids.
Also, don't spend a lot of time thinking about the way it used to be at college. It's okay to have good memories- I LOVED my college days, but now I have to focus on the good things about the way my life is now. None of us can go back in time and I think it just makes things seem worse if you keep thinking about all of the things you can't do anymore. Things do get easier and less restrictive as your children get a little older, so keep in mind that it won't always be this way. God bless.
Hi E. !!!
This may sound like a propaganda-type of deal ....but it really isn't, I am a new mommy...well not so new anymore, to a very friendly and beautiful 11-month old (my soul and heart) :-).....I joined BaltimoreMommies (online group) to have my little one socialize with other little ones, and joining has been absolutely wonderful!!!! I've met great mommies, participated in some neat outings, playgroups, etc. they also have mommies night out (I haven't been yet), or you can just chat online...try it!!! if it doesn't help (which I'm pretty sure it will), it can't hurt..right!!
D.
