For those of you who live in houses with more than one floor, where you sleep on the second (or third) floor, do you keep a gate at the top of the stairs to prevent any children from potentially falling down the steps at night, be it wanting to go downstairs for some reason, sleepwalking, whatever... And if so, what ages are your children?
We will be moving at some point into a multi level home, and I think I want a hard-mounted gate at the top of the stairs... my son is almost 5, but I think I'll sleep better if I know he can't stumble out in the hallway and fall down the steps. Am I looney (ok Denise and Theresa - I know I'm looney, but I'm asking that with regard to this particular situation only! - LOL) for thinking we should have this, even though my son is well beyond the typical age that would require gate usage?
I know that ultimately I'll do what makes me sleep at night, but just wondering if there are other families out there with gates for older kids, like mine...
Just a little more info... my son isn't a good sleeper, and often gets up in the night. I have every reason to believe he will be getting up to come get in bed with me. SO, I don't want him to be stumbling around in the dark, although I will have a nightlight in the hallway, and accidentally stumble down the stairs...
Oh, and he's already been up and down these stairs a million and one times. We're most probably buying my parent's house, and he spends an awful lot of time there already, so there will be no unfamiliarity there. Just me worrying!! LOL
We had gates until we moved about 5 months ago. We are going to buy a 2 story house soon and will not have gates this time. My youngest is about to be 5.
We have 2 floors.
We no longer have gates at the top or bottom of the stairs.
My kids are 4 and 8 years old now.
My friend who has a 2 story home and kids that are 5 and 8 years old... still have a gate at the top of their stairs.
Just do what you feel, is needed.
all the best,
Susan
We have a fixed baby gate at the top of the stairs that is bolted to the wall on one side. It's VERY handy. I did an amazon search for stairway babygate and looked at which gates had the best reviews.
Good luck!
We moved into our home (3 levels with the finished basement) when our youngest was 13 months, he will be 4 in March. We had a gate stopping him from getting out of the living room/kitchen area, but that was it. At night he stayed in his room, and if not, he wanted in our room, which is at the top of the stairs. But really, do what works for YOU!! Nothing is loony in how you parent your kiddo's!
L.,
I think you should do whatever you need to do. I used a gate at the top of our 2nd floor until my son was about 5 b/c the stairs are right across from his room and I always worried about him getting out of bed, getting disoriented and falling down the flight of stairs.
Now, my son is a cautious kind of kid--the kind who would come & get O. f us and whisper "I'm going downstairs...." before doing that but you know your son best and if a gate feels right, get O.!
p.s. Looney! lol
I don't think you are crazy at all for wanting a gate.
Hey if it helps you sleep better at night DO IT!
Yes your son is 5, but unless he's grown up in a house that has had stairs & is used to them I'd put up a gate.
You never know if he would sleep walk or what.
Get it.
I think you should do what makes you feel most comfortable.
I have not had gates by any of my stairs after about the age of 18 months with any of my 4 children. Once my second son slipped and ALMOST fell from the 6th step, but was somehow (miraculously!) able to stop the fall and only slid two steps, we were still all shaken up about it, so i can understand where your concerns are coming from.
But, I'd still like to play devil's advocate just a bit and say that I was surprised by the # of moms who DID have gates for their older children...I sometimes think that parents these days LOOK for things to worry about, just food for thought, and I'm SURE I'm guilty of it, too, lol! :-)
Hey! I WASN'T gonna say you're looney! Ok, well maybe....
But YES I did ALWAYS have a house where the bedrooms were upstairs when the kids were toddlers.
I had a gate I kept on the bottom of the stairs by day, and moved it upstairs at night. I believe it was a Graco, spring loaded type that would fit in different areas.
Couse this was roughly 3 thousand years ago.
To be honest, I'm such a terrible sleeper and we had old HW floors that creeked when the wind blew, I was always gettin' up to check on them anyway, in the unlikely event they slept through the night!
:)
I don't have a gate for my kids. My 2 kids are upstairs and my husband and I are on the main floor... The bathroom is on the main floor as well.
My son is still in his crib (he's 2.5) and my daughter is 7. She has sleep walked down to the bathroom before. She also almost peed in the hallway thinking it was the bathroom. Most recently, she sleep walked downstairs with her top sheet in tow...
No idea how she's never fallen down the stairs (particularly with the top sheet in tow), but I think that even during sleep walking, she is VERY aware of the stairs. And just a lil extra tidbit... We moved into that house when she was 4 and her dad's house (our previous address), she was on the main floor right next to the bathroom... So she wasn't already 'used' to the stair situation.
As far as my son... I'm not 100% sure what to do about that once he's in a regular/toddler bed. He's clumsy without being 1/2 'out of it'. We may need to get a gate & leave a monitor in his room so we know when he has to use the potty?
I grew-up in a 2 story house with steep stairs and my bedroom was immediately at the top. No gate... we were all fine.
Having said that, we now live in a raised ranch. We have a wall-mounted gate just outside of my son's room so that he can get to us if he needs us, but not beyond our bedroom. My bigger worry is him getting into the bathroom unsupervised or wandering into the living room.
Truth is, even with his door closed and our door closed I hear every noise he makes and I doubt he could sneak past me!
You know your kids best. If they aren't used to having stairs and tend to get up in the middle of the night, then put up the gate. It will make you all more comfortable.
my youngest is 3.5 and we have a single level home we have a hard mounted gate up right after his bedroom door so that he can only go to our room. He sleep walks and I feel better knowing that he cannot get into trouble if he is still sleepwalking at 5 I will still have the gate up.
Hi L.,
I grew up in a single story home and the first time we lived someplace with two levels I was a freak. I had a gate at the top AND bottom of the stars because I didn't want anyone to fall down them from the top or fall down them trying to climb them.
My youngest are 3 and 4 and I still have a gate because my fear is that while staggering half asleep down the hallway trying to get to my room they will lose their balance and fall down the stairs. Or even just turn in the wrong direction, trip over a toy.
I don't think it's looney. I think better safe than sorry meets whatever gets you through the night.
L.
You probably don't need a gate unless your son has a habit of sleep walking or stumbling around in the dark. At 5, he's old enough to know how to work any type of gate and tall enough to climb over one. My girls are almost 4 and 15 months and we've never had a gate at either end of our stairs or on their bedroom door.
We do -- we live in a tri-level house. We did not put the gate right at the top of the stairs to the sleeping floor but a bit back the hallway to give us more room...like if we were taking laundry upstairs and the gate is closed. My kids are almost 3.5 and just turned 2. We do not use ours at night right now but more to keep my DD from running upstairs and getting into trouble when we aren't looking (she is the 3.5 yo and loves to change her clothes 20 times a day)....
We did this when our daughter was little. She started sleeping in a toddler bed when she was just 22 mos old and if she wandered in any state of sleep or wakefulness, out of her room, the stairs were just right there. I worried about her falling down the steps. Dh (and my own older brother) sleep walked as a child so I heard all sorts of horror stories!
In the end my daughter would NEVER get out of her little bed. She would say "Mama, I'm 'wake now!" louder and louder! But then I started doing home childcare when she was 3, so they required the gates at the top and bottoms of steps anyway, so it was never moved (well, we got newer, better ones I guess! It HAS been 13 years of daycare now in this house and daughter is now 16 and has been in a basement bedroom since she was 4 1/2).
You have to do what is right for you. Due to our child moving to the basement bedroom at less than 5 years old, we had a monitor in there until she was almost 8! But we live in a multi-level split house..she is on the lowest floor and our bedroom is on the highest. I had to be able to hear her!!! Its what I had to do!
Oh yes. Especially for when you first move into the house until he gets used to it. Our rooms are upstairs and I put gates on their doors instead of at the top of the stairs, but they were younger. Use it until you're all more comfortable with the new house.
What can it hurt? If it makes you feel better, go for it. Definitely hard mount it though-- my son went right through a spring mounted one on vacation at 17 months. NOT a good scene.
We live in a multi-level home and took down the gate at the top of the stairs when my youngest were 2. I deemed them to be able to negotiate stairs properly at that point and they weren't getting up in the night frequently either. I did, however, put a night light close to the top of the stairs so if anyone decides to get up in the night they can clearly see where the stairs are.
Hi I don't think your looney. We gated the top of our steps until our youngest was 3 and sharing a room with her older sister. By that time it was such a habit (at that point my older two were 6 & 8) that no one came down the stairs after bedtime anyway....and they still don't 10 yrs later! Get some sleep, and do what you will...and don't over think it...control what you can and leave the rest. Best wishes
We stopped using our gate at the top of the stairs very early on...my daughter has been out of her crib since 2-1/2 and then potty training started, so we wanted her to have full access to all the bathrooms. Now that we have a rolling 7 month old, we put it up when we're all hanging out upstairs, but she can get to one bathroom on either side of it, so it's fine. You have to trust your son and figure out what's best!
If you'll sleep better than install the gates! We purchased ours from IKEA and expect we will always have them. We have one atthe top of each staircase. We also have one to the kitchen as that is where are dog stays when we are out but it doubles as a safety for keeping the children out from under foot while cooking.
Hope that helps!
Good luck!
- J. :)
We have a gate mounted at the top of our stairs - our kids are 3 and 5. The top landing of our stairs is not big at all and it makes me feel better just knowing no one is going to trip, stumble, etc. and fall down the stairs in the middle of the night - me included!
we have a gate at the top of the steps but my son is almost 3 y/o. I would think that by the time all the kids were 4 or 5 i would take it down. If you feel that putting a gate at the top of your stairs will give you piece of mind then do it. You need to do what's best for you although I think a 5 year old would be ok without one.
We live in a 2 story house and absolutely have a baby gate at the top of our stairs. My kids are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and my reasons for the gate are simply as you noted - I don't want sleepy children accidentally falling down the stairs. I'm not exactly sure when we'll pull the gates down, so for the age appropriate part of your question, I can't entirely comment. But I can tell you that it absolutely helps me to sleep better at night, knowing my child would have to actually concentrate in order to get downstairs, rather than groggily bumping into a wall and falling down the stairs. It may be totally bananas, but it gives me peace. :-)
We now (finally) let our almost three-y/o have total freedom in the house, even at night. We kept his door closed for two years because he's at the top of the stairs and our bedroom is downstairs. We were afraid of the same thing you are. However, he's practiced those stairs and has gotten really good at them. We keep a night light there so they're not dark, but he's been fine, even coming down them in the middle of the night. If you're worried, you can gate him into the upstairs hall so he can get to your bedroom but not the stairs. As soon as he's practiced going up and down for a few days (which will mean a few hundred trips for him), you can take off the gate. You will probably discover the gate is totally unnecessary, but it'll give you peace of mind at first!
I only keep a gate up when I am awake and doing things upstairs because my toddler son likes to sit on the steps sometimes. He's not allowed out of his bed at night unless I come get him. I do keep a small light on in the hall all night so it makes it easier for us to see at night or if we get up and use the bathroom. So if there is room to put a small wall mounted table, get a candle lamp plugged into a timer. That's what I have.
