Little Desire

Yes somewhat I have been through the same thing, but was married about five years instead.

It was my desire of not touching him making him feel like he was not good enougf for me. It really wasn't about my husband it was about me as a mom/wife not feeling good about myself, but in the same process I was making my husband feel unwanted and I just had to start making love even if I didn't want to but in the process I was exercising and taking time to get myself back in shape so I could feel good again.

Being interested and doing it are 2 different things. At least he still sees you desirable. Have you talked to him and told him that you feel slightly depressed with the hormone change? Talk to him and then maybe you can give in a little and he can not want it as much.
Sometimes you can do it without being interested just to satisfy the other one. I know my husband has been dead tired at times because he has worked over time so I can stay home with our little girl. I have wanted it and he has been tired but he will give in and do it just to satisfy me. In return, I don't ask often. Now the situation has leveled out and we are kind of on the same page now because he isn't working so much overtime. But him giving in, kept me feeling like he loved me and kept us close.
It may help to think of it this way. Your husband is so happy about the baby and looks at you like a wonderful wonderful princess that has made all his dreams come true and in order to feel the love and the bond totally, he wants to make love. His way of saying he appreciates all that you went through to give him this child.
I hope that you feel better soon and things go well for you.

I have 9 month old twins and experienced REAL post-pardom depression after they were born. I kept thinking it would get better in time, but finally I saw my OB. He put me on a mild dose of Lexapro and it really helped.

With the stress of a new baby and your husband's upcoming kidney transplant life can get out of hand. Don't be afraid to seek professional help - call your doctor. It's important for the family's foundation that the bond between you and your husband be strong. If you enjoy cooking make a nice meal - If you don't like to cook, get some takeout and bring it home home, light some candles, plan a romantic eveing - just RELAX - ask him to give you a light massage, it might put you in the mood....
Good luck ;) (but depression is real - call your doctor)

Email me at ____@____.com or ____@____.com. I feel more comfortable talking privately about this subject as I am going through the same thing as you!

M. M.

You must read this book, Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. It's an easy read. 21 questions christian women ask about sex. Hope it helps you and your huby, A. S

I know how hard all of this must be for you. I also had a C-section and it's difficult to feel sexy when your baby is taking up all of your time and energy. Not to mention all the financial stress is sounds like you guys are going through right now. I do agree with the other responders that communication with your husband is essential. You mentioned that your husband is having a kidney transplant soon so keep in mind that he's probably a little scared about that and he's wanting to be close to you also. If anything, I would try to give him some sympathy sex...who knows, it could make you feel a lot better as well! But do it in a way like the others suggested, you have to do something to get in the mood...even if it's as simple as taking a bath or shower together and then have him brush your hair. I know it's hard to plan and time these things out with a newborn, but as soon as you get the kids to sleep, go to your room and shut the door. Music and candles are good tools to help set the mood, or whatever worked for you guys pre-baby! A sermon I once heard said that parents tend to put their children ahead of everything else. This is not a good habit to form...the kids grow up, move out, and then you are left with your spouse. Your spouse should be #1 always since he will be there when your children are gone. I've never taken the drug route, but I seriously thought about it after my son was born. I know it helps some people, so talk to your husband, pray, talk to your doctor. Together you guys can come up with something! My prayers are with you!

You are not alone... And of course it's stress! There is a great book by Dr. Louann Brizendine called "the Female Brain" that explains how hormones affect every aspect of our lives. Remember you are in the throes of pot-natal hormones right now! I have experienced a lack of desire, and this is what I have found out: Don't wait until you "Feel like it" to get back into it. The sex will actually release stress-reducing hormones. Get in the habit of making love with your spouse - its HEALTHY for you and him. Like exercise, you may not "feel like it, but afterwards, you will feel better and your husband will be so much less stressed, too. RELAX. Take a hot bath, drink a glass of nice wine, try to get a little guilt free "Me" time. It will get better with time...

Dear K.,
If you are feeling physically recovered from the c-section, then my advice is to make love to your husband. Prepare yourself throughout the day. Make yourself feel as sexy as possible and wear something slinky and sexy that evening that you will be comfortable in. (I know that is hard when you have recently been pregnant-but trust me, he doesn't care about that stuff!) wear pretty perfume all day, and prepare mentally. Tell him your desires for the time you've set aside. But as you draw near to him, he will draw near to you and just watch and see how much you have ministered to him and touched his heart over the next few days. Sex isn't just something guys are gaga over...it's an actual need they have both physical and emotional. They were made and created that way. I know it's not always easy and we don't always feel like it, but there are lots of things our husbands do for us when they don't feel like it. That's what sacrificial love does. Good luck and have a wonderful evening!
J.

Okay so I wrote this really long response, as I got the daily stuff and didn't read responses from the other ladies before I sent it out. I agree with the other ladies. And although I don't necessarily think sympathy sex is always a good idea. Sometimes it does indeed in the middle flip a switch of emotion. My first suggestion is to definitely talk to him, but not during the time he is asking for love making. My second thought...spend an entire evening (as much as a newborn will allow) making out. Try to really remember the things that made you fall in love with him. Holding hands during a movie, that first amazing kiss. How you felt standing infront of him listening to him not only make a vow to you, but to your daughter. I too, had my first son at a very young age. I have battled depression along with the best of them. My husband was also severely wounded in Iraq, and has had several surgeries. When I told him I would sleep on the couch as to make sure I didn't kick him in my sleep, he made a clear decision to keep me next to him as I slept. Try laying your head on his shoulder...listen to his heart beat and feel the rythm of his breathing. Know that man loves you more than his own life...and he will wait, but he needs to feel loved and appreciated. Money is always a big stressor, and his surgery is definitely a scary thing. I will pray for you both..and your kids. It has to be very scary for your daughter as well. Pray about it, and maybe even speak to your pastor. Sometimes therapists that do not have a Biblical approach have good intentions...but maybe he/she could point you in the right, Christian direction. Do you and your husband pray together on a daily basis? It's amazing what praying together can do for intimacy. We pray everynight at supper. Sometimes that holding hands, especially when we are really angry with each other, or feeling hurt, will bring us together. Hope you feel better soon, and I wish you and your husband all the best. God Bless!

unfortunatly yes, its been over a year and I still have little to no need for sex. I still love my husband and I still think hes sexy but there is no fire for me. You can always talk to your doc about a female sexual enhansment like viraga is for men. Try not to beat up on yourself this is a stressful time and your hormones are all out of wack. Talk with your doc and good luck.

I can so agree with a desire to not have sex. As a Christian, you are called to support and care for your spouse, and vise versa. Another lady offered the book Love and Respect by Eggerichs but please do not read it if you are already feeling as if your husband is being pushy. I love my husband to no end and we have a great relationship and that book put me over the edge.

Please, please go pick up a copy of "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" (4 stars on Amazon.com) and "Red Hot Monogamy" (5 stars on Amazon.com) both by Bill and Pam Farrell. The thing that I love about the authors is the way in which they can handle sensitive issues without making anyone feel superior or completely inferior. They also offer many Biblical perspectives which are refreshing and spot on.

In the meantime, talk to your husband about embarking on a journey to romance each other. Start off by trying to meet his sexual needs, even without intercourse, so he can focus on you a bit more. Remember, as hard as it is, to keep each other the number one priority. The tendency is to use all your energy on the kids, leaving nothing for your husband. His tendency could be to use all his energy at work and leave nothing for home. Make a commitment to reprioritize your life. Make a conversation date with each other every night. It may only be 15 minutes, but keep the appointment. You will not regret it!

On a side note, go buy a bottle of Astroglide at your local WalMart and enjoy each other!

Hi K.! Congratulations on the baby! I personally think you should not create co-sleeping. When my child was an infant, I did place her in a moses basket, on top of a rubbermaid container, so it would be bed height, but not in our bed. Then I moved her, inside the moses basket, to her bed. This kept her comfortable until she was ready for the larger bed. It also gave me the comfort that she could not rollover.

As for the intamacy, if I am not mistaken, after my c-section I could not have relations w/husband until after that intital 8 wk appointment. I would like to also say that because you are a christian, you might reconsider co-sleeping. The marriage bed is supposed to be kept sacred for you and your husband only, this includes infants. We as Chritian women are supposed to put our husbands before our children. I know this is a challenge, I have been there, but a new baby puts the husband at avery vulnerable stage of his life. Will I be remembered? Will my needs be met? I know as a woman, we think how selfish of him, but it is true. I would like to refer an excellent book to you, "Intimate Issues". It is written by two wonderful Christian women, on intamacy and desire, from a godly perspective. I read it when my child was 5yrs. old. It changed my marriage, for good, and I so wish I had had it when I was a new mom just like you. It would have helped immensly. Also, take this to the Lord in prayer, and have others that are close, Christian confidants to pray for you. I will be praying for you and feel free to contact me, because the situation for me was similar.

In Christ,
D.

you are right. you need to remain close to each other during this difficult time. but given your c-section, having a new born, your hormones going nuts and your hubby's illness, it's no wonder your not intersted insex right now. just give it some time. everything will settle down one of these days. are you nursing? the hormones needed to produce milk act as a natural labido suppressant. it's nature's way of preventing you from getting pregant again too soon. there are other ways to be intimate with hubby without having sex. kissing, cuddling, massage, a warm bath or shower together, or even a combination of these can bring you 2 together and might even ignite that spark and lead to more than you bargained for.

I am glad you said you were a christian. In the bible it says don't withold from your husband. It is a type of punishment. Your hormones are playing a part yes. But because you don't "feel " like it does not mean you cannot help your mate. They really need to have relations more than we do. If not maybe he will be tempted to go somewhere else. Be careful and don't be a stumbleing block for your husband, you pray and I will pray for this matter. It is in God's hands now. I know you want to please your husband, I understand i have been where you are.

I had two c-sections and after each one the dr. told me don't have sex until your ready. He said to blame it on him--I was not cleared from by the doctor yet. I was no where near ready to have sex 7 weeks after a c-section. Good luck.

You are definitely not alone. I too felt the same way after my son was born but eventually things got better between my husband and I. I think I started feeling better when my son started sleeping through the night. Before that, I felt like I didn't want to be intimate with my husband because I was so tired.
You could be feeling depressed because of lack of sleep. I've heard that sleep deprivation can cause post-partum depression. Maybe if you try talking to your husband about your feelings things will work itself out.
Good luck to you.

7 weeks post-op! give yourself a break my dear woman. you must first take of you before you can take care of others. i have had 2 c-sections and i also lost my desire after giving birth and actaully it continued all throughout the nursing process. that was nearly 12 months. :>(
my huband and i have been happily married almost 11 years and have 2 amazing children now 5 and 2. try spending more time cuddling on the couch and allow yourself to be intimate without having intercourse. i remeber talking about the lack of desire with my husband and telling him i longed to want him. i think it helped him to hear that from me. then he was left questioning anything. he understood it was all part of th ehormonal process. it helped us brindge the rough patches along the way. good luck to you!

I had both my children by c-section.... my daughter will be
45 years old in May and my son was 40 this past Nov. I too,
was very depressed after my daugther. My doctor just flatly
told my husband and me no sex for about 6 weeks.... We waited
and let me tell you lady it was worth the wait. Of course,
we had to be careful not to get PG right off the bat. I would
have really been depressed, as well as my darling husband. After my son I told the doctor we did not want any other children... he tied my tubes (which is a cheap way to get it
done) Depression left and love making began... I am 76 years
old ....... About the desire... seek your doctor to build
your estrogin..... that's the real answer..... CB

This happened with me after my first child was born. It did get better but it took me about four or five months before I felt any real "passion". It wasn't that I didn't love him like before it was simply that I felt so drained from the baby and work. It felt like there was nothing of me left and the intimacy that he was wanting was one more drain of what little was left of me. As my daughter got older and I was able to cope a bit better with how to be a mom and balance work and everything else it did get better. I just had my second child and things have been a lot better this time, I go back to work soon though so I hope it stays that way. It's good to be able to talk about things though so keep trying to talk it out here or with others around you if possible. I wish I had known about this site three years ago!
If I can help at all its to tell you to try and find some time for you. Even if it's only twenty to thirty minutes a day to take a hot bath or read a book for a bit. It's important to remember that you are still you and not just a mom or a wife. You can't be your old self if you can't even have some time to do that. Take care of yourself. My prayers are with you!

It is sometimes so hard to get in the mood when your body is healing, you're sleep deprived, and your hormones are all trying to level back out. I know how difficult it can be to even want to touch your husband after the arrival of a new baby and all the demands that come with it. I ended up telling myself that I was going to be tired no matter what, so I might as well see if either of us could get some pleasure, and if I could just suck it up enough to get things started, things would take care of themselves from there. My main focus to start was my husband and his enjoyment. I knew he needed sexual attention even if I didn't feel like it, and as a wife, I am obligated to take care of my husband and his needs no matter what they are. If he were sick, I would nurse him, if he were emotionally troubled, I would listen, if he needed physical attention, I would give it to him--even if it seemed inconvenient for me.

Now this isn't to say that I never deny my husband sex when I'm not up for it (that does happen under normal circumstances!), but it has been almost two months (if not longer?) since you've had sex with your husband, and this situation is more about you guys getting to the point where you both need the intimacy that comes from sex. Clearly sex will make him a little happier, and a happier husband is bound to benefit you. And the sex could make you happier too once you can get into it.

But don't push for intercourse if you don't feel your body is ready. Not to get too graphic, but grab some lotion and give your husband a hand job. Oral sex could be great for both of you too. Wear a bra and make breasts off-limits if that makes you more comfortable. And don't worry if you can't imagine why anyone would want to have sex with your post-baby body. Keep the lights off, and remember that your husband loves you and is dying to be with you--and after such a long dry spell, he'll be so happy to have you in his arms, he truly won't care that you haven't showered and have spit-up in your hair! And don't forget: you just grew and delivered his child, and that should be a very empowering and sexy thought for you.

Best of luck!

You may want to contact your local ICAN chapter. If you live in the Triangle there is one here. It is a support/knowledge group for ladies who have had c-sections and to educate folks on them. They can be a huge help when working through some of the things you are going through now. I would recommend contacting the group leader directly.

Good Luck,
E.

Honey, I know how you feel. I think we all do! I've been happily married to my husband for over 12 years, have two kids, and we both work. It's so very important to understand that men feel closeness to their spouse with physical intimacy. We, on the other hand, feel closer to them when they listen and just pay attention to us, right? He will feel distant from you if he's not getting what he needs, just as you would feel the same if he ignored you. You may not feel sexy or attractive because you just gave birth, but he loves you and finds you beautiful! He wants to show you intimacy; pushing him away hurts him. I strongly suggest you set a 'date' to make love, no matter how you feel about it. It's good medicine for both of you. You can check out a book called the 5 LOVE LANGUAGES. It's all about the different ways men and women express love and how to respond to their love language. If you're still in doubt, remember that the bible states that a wife should submit to her husband...you know the verse! God bless!

I don't know if you are nursing or not but if you are, this can wreak havoc on your hormones. I nursed for just over a year before I had our child completely weaned and it was actually several months after that before I had any desire at all. My OB said it was due to the hormones from nursing and that this was very common. I too, had some slight 'baby blues' and again, was told it was due to all of the hormones. I also had a c-section with complications, spent 4 days in the hospital and felt like it took me a LONG time to get over it and even get my strength back. I know there is no way I could have been frisky after 7 weeks. When we were ready to try it was actually pretty uncomfortable for me and it seemed no amount of lubricant helped any. It was stressful b/c I wanted to please my husband but couldn't relax enough to enjoy anything due to the pain it caused. Again, this was due to hormones. Hang in there. I know how hard it can be to have a new little one and a husband who also wants attention. Try being upfront and honest but gentle with him and explain how you feel. Things will get back to normal but it just takes some time. Try going slow and explore some alternatives if you feel comfortable with that.

Hi. Maybe you have some post-partum depression. You should talk to your doctor about it and see if he could prescibe you something to help you get over the depression. It is very normal and nothing to be ashamed of. After a baby your hormones and emotions are all over the place. I agree with a previous writer that you should have your thyroid checked too, but it is probably too early. Check with your doctor. As for intimacy, have you talked to your husband about your feelings? A loving husband will understand that you are worn out with a new baby, that your hormones are wacky and that you need time. I disagree with those that say you should do it anyway. What I think you should do is talk to him. You might be pleasantly surprised how just having an open honest discussion may make you feel closer to him. Also, just try cuddling and being together - make out instead of making love. It is hard to feel sexy seven weeks after a miscarriage. Personally, I didn't feel like myself until about 12 weeks. Take your time and do what feels right for you. Yes, he is having surgery soon, but is sex really the most important thing you two can do to be close? No, it is not. Sex is not love. Good luck and hang in there, but definitely talk to a doctor about medication - post partum depression is real.

Buck up and give the man some action. Sorry but sometimes you have to do things for the ones you love. It sounds like he will be out of commition for a while with a kidney transplant so this may be your last chance for a while. I hope that you are seeking a doctors help for your depression.

Also your baby is only 7 weeks old so you still have crazy hormones and the lack of sleep are probably not helping your situation.

Good luck.

I had this problem as well. It felt like my body had been under so much stress that I actually feared making love. My abdomen was numb and my breasts were sensitive. I tried to explain as carefully and explicitly as I could to my husband what was going on so that we could take it slowly in bed. I was armed with personal lubricants and birth control. We took it very slow. I was extremely tight. My body rejected the thought of intercourse. I had to keep breathing and trying to relax. Eventually it worked. I can't say I experienced a great deal of enjoyment but it was ok.

Maybe there is another level of intimacy you would be more comfortable with that would bring you closer with out pushing you to do more than your ready for. I had my baby 6 months ago and I'm still not ready to get back to the sex life we had before. My husband is just being patient. I have guilt about it but we both agree that feeling guilty only makes it more difficult. Sometimes it just takes patience, time, creativity and compromise.

There have been MANY spells in my life that I had no interest in having sex. Hormones change and your body has had a stress on it by having a baby AND major surgery. It's normal to feel that way. The point is, if you love your husband, and have no physical reason not to, you should do it anyway. Especially since he is going to have a very serious operation done soon. Love isn't always a feeling. It is an action. I had a minister that said something very wise in a sermon once. He talked about how we fall in and out of love cycles in our marriages. He said to 'fake it till you make it'. By doing the action, you will begine to feel it. We learn to sacrifice for those we love. Be glad it's not a really big or painful thing! Many women lose their spouses and would do anything to have them back to have a chance to show them they love them. Go for it.

I cannot imagine being in your situation. However, for some reason God saw that this was something you could handle. A wonderful book is Love and Respect by Cloud and Townsend. This book helped me truly understand my husbands needs. It also taught me what it is God calls me to do. As his wife it is your responsibility to meet his physical needs. A man feels loved and respected when they make love to their wives. Can you imagine him telling you that he is just not in the mood to love you right now? It is a different look at it but truly as a Christian woman it is about what God has called you to do not about how you feel. Remember that you feelings are a result of your thinking, your thinking is impacted by the things you allow in you life (t.v. shows, music, movies, and even friends and family that do not have Christian values). So it is very important to consider how you spend your time. Satan wants nothing more that to put distance between husbands and wives. This is because he does not want to see children reared with strong Christian values and character.
As a nurse I can tell you it is ok to have sex. Just take it slow and express your love for your husband. He needs your love and support right now too. Getting ready for surgery is very scary. Remember to put the needs of others above your own. You will be amazed at how much you will be blessed by it. I pray that all goes well for your family.
D.

KMR,
For starters you reconize that NOW is not the time for distance; which is a good thing.

I seriously hope that you are taking an anti-depressant medication. If not see your doctor immediately.

Also, see your primary care physician for a Thyroid test, which can cause these symptoms as well. I pray that your test will be normal. Once the results come in; ask for your TSH #. If that # is above 3 but below 5, you may be ok if the anti-depressant is helping, but if you are suffering other symptoms of hypothyroidism, get a second opinion!

Next, assuming that being intimate will not hinder your husband's medical problems....

Hire a sitter for the night. Dress up, do your make-up or whatever it takes to get sexy. Go without you underware, or your hubby's favorite, but don't tell hubby until dinner or until the appropriate time. As a special treat, men are attracted to a woman's "natural scent", so put some of your "natural scent" on your neck. Essentially, you two are going on a date... show your hubby that you love him and do care about his feelings.

Keep in mind that foreplay can be an important key to love making especially in your situation. Encourage kissing, hugging, holding hands while you're on your date. Have him to hold the door for you, grab your waist or put his hand around your shoulder, while your out on the date. The key here is that he wants you and he's going to "put you in the mood", but keep in mind that you have to do your part too.

Go out for a romantic dinner. If you cant afford an expensive one, you two can split a entree, which many restuarants offer these days. And discuss with your husband how your're feeling. I suspect that you're tired and maybe depressed over money issues, but the love should never stop.

Good luck and hopefully you both will wake up refreshed the next morning. Please let me know how things go.

PS, have adult conversation and DREAM... don't discuss the kids, mom, dad etc. discuss how you feel what you want to do, how sexy your husband is to you, what still makes him special after 3 1/2 years, what you still love about him, etc. Pretend that you two are childless, and and that you're trying to win him over all over again.

I would hope that your huisband would understand that you're not in the mood. but I went thru a stint of not being interested in sex, but that diden't mean we diden't share loving time. we would cuddle and do things that diden't involve intercourse. our son is six months now and we are just now starting to get back to pre-baby levels of love making.

First off, some are saying not to withhold, let me say that you can't help the way you feel. And it isn't any form of punishment. Try this... dress up in your sexiest outfit, put on your best make-up, and your highest heels. It will make YOU feel better about yourself, and might put you "in the mood". Also, let your husband touch you, sometimes you just need a few loving touches to get the pulse a-jumpin'! All I am saying is that you need to feel sexy for yourself, and also having him to make you feel sexy helps a LOT.

~Christian mother of 3 with a husband deployed to Iraq

You have a lot on your plate and on your mind. I think by talking with your husband about your feelings may help both of you to try and keep the communication flowing. Not to mention your husband has major surgery in the near future. And you also just went through major surgery with your Csection.

My experience: I have a 9 month old and I'm almost 31. I didn't have the desire for love making really until I went back to work and also started to get my "body back". I didn't feel sexy so I didn't feel good about love making. I delivered vaginally but had an episiotomy. I also had no desire during my pregnancy (no issues, just fatigue). It slowly came back to me. In the mean time I did other things with him such as cuddling, kissing and some other "make out" type of things. I kind of felt like I did back in highschool. Now, 9 months later I feel like things are back on track and I don't feel that depression like most women feel for a few months post delivery.

Good luck with things. I think you just need to give it some time.
P.

Hello Little Desire. I can understand your situation; this coming from a 55 yo woman who's husband developed diabetes and kidney failure when I was 31 and my daughter was a year old. I have no doubt that you are suffering with depression. You should speak with your doctor. Let your husband know that your lack of desire is not related to lack of love. Right now, your plate is over flowing. Your husband has a life long illness, you have 2 chidren who require different levels of care, you have no time for yourself and money is probably low. Unfortunately I haven't said anything that could bring a smile to your face. The good side is that there is hope. But you can't do it alone. I'm a good example of what doing it alone will get you; a case of chronic depression. In the mean time, while you're seeking wellness, rest for a while each day, in the lap of the Lord. Pray for the wellness and safe keeping of you and your family. You know He answers. I wish you a speedy and peaceful recovery. From: Ms. Understanding.

I see several issues here, all intertwined, so bear with me as I discuss each issue in turn.
It is common to have some depression after a C/S, since that is not the natural way of things, not the way God designed it to happen, but God also gave (wo)men the brains to figure out how to do extraordinary things to help his fellow (wo)man. All things happen for a reason, to God's glory, even if we can't understand that now. Not knowing the details of your birth, nor why you had the C/S, I can't be specific here, but know you did the best you could, at the time. Hindsight is always so much clearer then foresight! You can't change what has already happened, the only thing you can change is your attitude toward it. Your depression and disinterest in sex are both probably hormonal. It is important to keep taking your prenatal vitamins, or maybe even switch to a more reputable, natural, or more potent form of vitamins than you have been taking. As a Christian, you no doubt are aware of the Bible verse that tells us we must not refuse marital relations, except by mutual consent, so discuss your difficulties with your husband and come to a plan you can both live with. We would not want to tempt our husbands to seek gratificatiuon elsewhere, but neither should a husband pressure you into things you don't feel ready for. If he is a loving, Christian spouse, surely he can understand that a C/S is Major abdominal surgery, not at all like a natural birth and you need much longer for your body to recover, both physically and emotionally. It would be unwise to risk another pregnancy so soon after any birth, let alone a C/S. Perhaps you can show your love for each other in other ways for a while, or perhaps you can agree to make love once a while, if he respects your need to decline once in a while. Compromise and respect are the cornerstones of a good marriage.

What you're going through is totally normal! After I had my second child, I had no interest in sex, and was totally depressed. My OB prescribed an antidepressant for me to take for a limited time, and it was just enough to get me over that lull. Eventually you will get back into a routine, but for now, talk to your doctor, and your husband about what you're feeling. Communication is key here. For me, the first time we had sex after my daughter, was completely sympathy sex. I didn't want it, but mt husband did, and I started to feel guilty. This was around 3 months post pardom. Our normal sex routine has not quite gotten back to where it was before kids, but our daughter is still sleeping with us. My husband has learned to "ration' it out...little here, little there.
LOL He has been very understanding through it all.
After a C section I have heard there is a long recovery time.
It might be totally uncomfortable for you. For me, after I tried it, it wasn't that bad, actually kinda let me release some of the stress of being at home with the two kids.
It was just hard to make my mind be there. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Good luck to you, and hang in there!