Letting the Kids in Your Bedroom

We do precisely the same thing & for the same reasons as you. My parent's room was off limits, therefore mine is too. Entrance is by invitation only!

My daughter knew that she was welcome in my room any time the door was open, but to knock before entering if it was closed. She also knew that being welcome in my room did NOT mean being allowed to play with my belongings.

We don't. Nothing was off limits in my mamas house so I don't do it. Not a bad idea though! My aunt did that and I remember thinking it was strange :)

Huh. This actually never even occured to me. I do see some benefits of it but no, I don't think we'd ever do this, but I don't think you're hopelessly weird! ;) First off, I'm just not that organized to get up before my kids, get dressed and do all that stuff so right there, they come in first thing and we snuggle in my bed and then goof around reading books, playing until I decide to get everyone dressed. Besides that fact I just don't think it's very realistic for our life, nor do I want it to be and I don't mind having the kids in and out...BUT, I do sort of use a very strict bedtime/nighttime routine so that I can have peace and quiet and just do my own thing without the worry of a child appearing!

My husband would LOVE if I implemented this rule at home! And I guess we do in a way - I don't make it "off limits" necessarily, but the kids know they are not to go in there to sleep or otherwise play extensively unless they ask permission. But if I were to walk in on them playing in our room, it would be no biggie to me.

I think it is a good tradition. You are doing it for the right reasons. Good luck in maintaining!

I WISH we'd done this!

Our rule has always been, "if our door is closed you must knock or ask permission to go in".

This is even if we are not in the room.

Otherwise she could come into the room. She rarely asked to watch our TV, because it was so tiny..

It sounds like a lot of you grew up with parents that wanted to have a special place for themselves. Kids are nice but we do need to have a place to "get away" from the daily world.

My parents and other relatives had the rule that kids were not allowed in their bedroom. When you went in it was by invitation or a request that you needed to get x, y or z from said place and to return immediately to the kitchen or livingroom with the item. No one put up a fight it was just understood that this was off limits and that was it. There were no toys or anything child like in the room.

So yes, there is a place and time for everyone in the house. Privacy for the parents to discuss things without little ears eavesdropping is nice. A romantic get away from the day and just to chill out.

Do you hang out in your kids' rooms and drag all your stuff there? No so it should be the same. I can't imagine how I would feel if I stepped on a little plastic toy in my barefeet.

But to each his own.

The other S.

PS Husbands like the private place away from kids. They may not say it but they do.

Good for you!! It's funny, my husband and I are starting to talk about how to get our 5 year old out of our bedroom (she likes to be in there with us - but does NOT sleep in our room - never will). On Sunday, my mother in law had slept over. My daughter was in our bed watching TV while my hubby and I got an extra bit of sleep. Then, my MIL was coming down the hall and my daughter says - Grandma is coming in OUR room. So I said, whoa... this is not your room!! And she giggled.

But she is in there all the time. I guess it's because we both work FT and so she comes in to spend time with us in the morning. I don't know if it will ever stop - but I applaude you all who have your own space!!

Awesome. We should be doing the same.

I grew up with a friend who's parents were like this and alls it made us do was go dig around when they left the house! Our room is by no means "off limits" but it's not like we keep toys in there. Our daughter loves our bed (we have an amazingly comfortable bed) and my pillow (same goes for that) so its awesome when she wakes up early on the weekends (occasionally) and she comes and cuddles in bed with us.. She knows not to touch anything but the bed and she can't bring or leave toys in there so it's still keeping our room ours but without the stigma of it being "not allowed".

We have this rule too. Mommy and Daddy's bedroom is off limits, you may ask permission to come in but it is our space. We always knock on my daughter's door too and ask to come in, now we did tell her that there are times we will come in even if she does not approve but that has not been an issue (yet). Most of the time my daughter asks to come in while I am dressing, if I really can not handle it (running late) I will tell her to wait in the living room. She knows at night or in an emergency she can just come in but that is it.

My kids are not allowed to go in to our bedroom if there is no one in there. This is mainly because I don't want one of them getting hurt. They are 6,3, and 17 months. They would go in there to jump on our bed, and usually at least one of them would end up getting hurt, so the bedroom became off limits. Of couse if it is in the middle of the night, then they are more than welcome to come in and get one of us if they need anything.

Since we co-slept when our daughter was younger, no, our room is not off-limits. We also have a smallish house, so that would be silly to even try to make that rule. My parents' bedroom growing up wasn't off limits, per se, but they didn't have a TV in there or anything that would have interested me. But no, I don't think you are weird. For some parents, it's their designated sanctuary and my feeling is whatever works for your family works!

When the kdis were younger they could come in and climb in bed if they had a bad dream or heard a noise and couldn't get back to sleep. I have great hearing so we never were "interupted" although once it came close! Now that they're teens and they have interest in perhaps looking th rough our bedside tables and could find our joy of sex book and other stuff, we've limited their access to our room. They are NEVER to bring friends in our room - and they can only go in if they ask to go get something or it we're in there already. As parents there's got to be some inner sanctum...!

That is how we operate when they are allowed to come in our room esp to watch TV it is like a vaction for them! they get thier pillows and blankets and are on cloud nine. They are to knock before entering at all times.

this is the first time I have heard of anyone doing this. My kids are in and out of my bedroom all day long. It doesn't bother me. I don't like to have their toys in there, but if I'm in there, then there is no reason they can't be in there to with me. Friends are not allowed in there though

We don't value our bedroom like that, and because our 15 month old sleeps in our bedroom (in her bed) none of sex happens in bed anyways. :)

Our six year old LOVES to play in our room (it's a space she can get away from her sister to play with little toys), and she loves to sit on our bed and watch a show (which is a treat.)

We essentially do the same thing. They can come in there if I'm in the bathroom getting ready and they need something, but they NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL sleep in there and the only time they can watch TV in there is if we give them permission. Otherwise it's off limits. We've never made a big deal out of it so it's never been something we've had to fight over, every once in awhile when they were younger and would try to go in there to play we would tell them to get out.

My parents bedroom was like that too, and we've done the same to some degree. Our kids don't play in our room (well, they try to sometimes), but if the other bathroom is occupied they'll use ours. They hang out in there in the morning sometimes and watch TV when I need a little more sleep. Sometimes at night if they are keeping each other awake (3 boys share a room), one will crawl in our bed and fall asleep there. As they get older, we'll get more strict, but now it's a little too hard. They are all under 7, and I'm thinking we have 2 or so more years of kids in and out of our room.

I didn't do this, but I think it's probably good for your marriage and a good lesson for your kids. Mommy and Daddy are people too. Good for you.

Hi S., Our kids are older, but they are never in our room. Not because we don't "let" them, but I guess its just not a "hang out" for any of us really. I'm not a big fan of anyone having their own tv's in their rooms, including us. Sometimes hubby and I go to bed early just to chat and snuggle and read, its really nice to just have that "quiet" time together. We sleep with our bedroom door open so the kids can come in if they ever need to. I do feel like its "our" space and wouldn't want the kids just going in there unless I know what its for. Like I keep all the bandaides in our bathroom so sometimes they go in to get them but are good about telling us they are. So I don't think you guys are weird, I think its a good idea!

I LOVE IT!!!! You are great! I was raised the same way. We could walk into their bedroom during the day when no one was in there, but not loiter or mess with their stuff, and no entry at night, that's for sure. If we were deathly ill, they came to us in our rooms.

We're not really strict about it, but the kids have always slept in their own rooms, and never try to come in at night. They do play in on our bed in the day time, and I do read them stories in my bed at night before moving them to their room, and I sometimes have my oldest daughter sleep with me when my husband travels because she stays up latest, and we spend the "girl time" talking about our day in my bed, then I read to myself and let her stay, and she often falls asleep there.

We only use our bedrooms for sleeping, we don't have toys etc... in our bedrooms. Since we live in a three story house we do all of our daily activities in the living room, play room and kitchen or outside.

we kind of do it. Our dd thinks its the best thing ever if she gets to come in with us first thing in the morning and watch cartoons on the weekends.