Hi! Just had a situation arise and could use some advice! My husband and I have planned a 3 day trip up to the mountains and we will be staying in a small cabin. We have a 7 yr old and a almost 4 year old. Both boys. We just went out shopping getting special snacks and fishing poles for the kids when my little boy says he does not want to go at all, just wants to stay with my mom. Should I make him go? Is he to young? We have gone tent camping a few months ago and I thought he had fun, but fishing was boring to him understandably. Or do I give him a year off and make him come with us next year. I really want us to do things together as a family. Thanks for advice : )
Thanks everyone! Little guy definetly does not rule the house but I know how insanely bored he was watching us fish a few months ago, hopefully he will give it a whirl with his new pole and have fun. I know hes excited about marshmallows!
If I let my 8 year old opt out of every activity he "thinks" he doesn't want to do, he'd have done nothing for 8 years! LOL
Seriously, he's 3. You make the decision for him.
He's only 3. My 3 year old gets to decide which dress she wears or how we do her hair - not whether or not she comes on a family vacation or not. You're setting a dangerous precedent if you give a 3 yo THIS much control.
" I really want us to do things together as a family" nuff said. what happens when your 7 yr old angel is a surly, hard to please 12 yr old? Is he going to get a pass to stay home and play video games? heck no. our parents drug us all over the country in the back of thier station wagons, and we get to drag our kids all over in the back of our suburbans! it's a character building experience. :)
Just do activities, that HE can do too... not only older person type activities.
That way, EVERYONE can enjoy.
Your son is young and is merely expressing his feelings on it, per his age construct.
Which is fine.
I don't believe he is ruling the roost. He is, just saying it in the best way he is able, per his age, for expressing his thoughts and feelings.
Good for him.
BUT... so consider that, yes, it does seem like a trip for older people... hence it sounds monotonous and boring to him, because fishing was boring to him, before.
And fishing can take HOURS.
So COMPROMISE.
Go fishing, but not all day.
Keep his age in mind.
And do OTHER things, which he might find FUN.
Like collecting rocks. Bring a cute box for him to put it in.
Collect leaves and bugs.
Make it sound fun for him too... it not only being revolved around 'older people' things.
A "Family" trip... should be for the family... not only 'older people' activities. Otherwise, sure, any young kid would be bored and not be excited to go.
Like, going to an Opera.
Ugh.
Incorporate things for him too.
ASK him, what ideas he has.
What about digging for worms?
Swimming?
Hiking?
Or, when Hubby/the older kid is fishing, then YOU, have time with your 4 year old.
Otherwise he will feel... left out.
Bored.
Waiting around for everyone. While they fish.
Or maybe he will have fun... he is 1 year older now, than the last time that happened.
His ONLY frame of reference about 'fishing'... is a few months ago. That is still fresh in his mind.
Put it this way: IF I had to go on a family trip... and it ONLY revolved around what my Husband or older child wanted to do... well, that would not sound fun to me, either.
So, COMPROMISE. PLAN other activities too. Not ONLY doing fishing. For those entire 3 days, nor doing it all day.
I ONCE let my 4 year old decide that he didn't want to go to soccer on a particular day. He was SOOO adamant about it and whined the whole time I got him ready, so I finally just kept him home. Boy did he make me pay for it later! He gave me a MUCH harder time over missing it than if I would have just taken him against his protests.
Sometimes they think they know what they want at this age, but in reality, they are probably still too young to understand the consequence of such a decision.
In our house, unless they have jobs, kids go on ALL family trips!
:)
(And they always have a BLAST, even when they whine about having to go)
There is no way I could leave him behind. Now if he tried the fishing and didn't like it, I'd have no problem with him doing something else.
Its a Family Vacation :-) Everyone goes !! HAVE FUN ! he will too, once he gets there!!! I dont like fishing either ;-)
He needs to go!!!! You will regret it and so will he if he doesn't go with you---Take him, he will change his mind!!!! Your the parent, and the adult---don't let him rule this....
M
He's 4... he's opting for "familiar." How else will he discover the new things he may enjoy if he doesn't go with you?
He's definitely not too young. My 3-year-old daughter has been going to the lake with us for a week of boating and water sports every year since she was 7 months old. She loves it more each year.
when we have family vaca its for the whole family, even as teenagers we did not get to opt out & i won't let my kids either!
Ask him what he would want to do at the cabin. If he doesn't like fishing, maybe he would enjoy going rock climbing or birdwatching. yes i know he's only 3 but he might be more interested in the wild animals and the trees and flowers, than the fish.
I feel he should go, but I also feel you should be planning vacations that include the likes and interests of everyone in the family including him. He shouldnt be forced to sit and watch you fish. Thats pretty selfish on your part. It should be stuff he will like. If it means you dont get to fish every hour of your vacation then thats too bad. Hes a member of the family too and as such, he goes on the vacations, but they better include things he will want to do too.
I think he should go. He'll have fun! Fishing, swimming, smores, campfires, campfire stories, old maid and go fish by lantern, spooky stories in the tent, hikes, visitors center ... family vacations are just that, with family! :) Good luck w/ that one ...
I would make him go, just bring some outdoor toys he likes incase he does not want to fish. My boys always bring their tonka trucks.
We just took our 7 and 3 y/o boys camping, fishing and boating for 7 days. My 3 y/o had a blast!! He fished for maybe 2 minutes at a time but had fun throwing rocks and playing with bugs and toys. He also enjoyed boat rides, floating in the tube, playing in the sand, and eating!! Take him a few things to entertain himself with and he'll be fine. Enjoy your vacation :)
I'd still bring him. I'd maybe try to think of some age-appropriate things you could bring along so if he gets bored, you can think of something for him. And, I think this was a good question! I like that you are being considerate and thoughtful about his wants and desires. I would definitely bring him though;-)
Hum, drag him along potentially having a miserable child that makes everyone miserable or let him stay at grandmas making everyone happy.
Tough call. :p
Alrighty, reading the other posts I guess I am the only one who was forced to do boring things as a child.....o well
Definitely take him.. but be cognizant of the fact that it's impossible for a 3 year old to have the kind of patience, focus and zen like concentration that fishing requires. In fact - I don't have it either!
A child that age needs to be able to be unconstricted (not likely in a boat) and free to explore, play etc
So keep his developmental abilities in mind and plan activities that are age appropriate for all the kids.
He might also have some fears about sleeping outdoors that he's not verbalizing (lions and tigers and bears...oh my!)
So talk to him and try to understand why he doesn't want to go (boredom? fear?) and then deal with those feelings accordingly
