Legally Changing My Son's Last Name

Heck, yeah, I'd be changing his name!

I hope that legally it is not a problem/hassle for you to do so, and you can get it done.

Good luck!
J.

I can tell you from experience that California also requires the father's permission for a legal name change. My ex hasn't seen his kids in almost 4 years. The kids have used my new husband's last name for about 4 years (in their school district, I just have to sign an alias form). But legally they still have their bio dad's last name, which has caused some inconviences for us.
In California, a legal name change is $355 (per child) and I have to have written permission from the father. Since I haven't had contact with him in years, I really have no idea where he is or how to reach him, so at this point I would have to have the court terminate his parental rights. If your child's father won't consent to a name change, you might have to take him to court for termination depending on the laws in Ohio. In CA, termination of parental rights is another fee (per child) and another set of forms to fill out.
You should call the court house where you live and find out what is required for Ohio.

First of all, M.; he acknowledged the child when he signed the birth certificate as his. He is responsible for the care of this boy. Secondly, I would take him to court & get a paternty test to prove that he is the father & set up for financial responsibility & any visitation rights. He is the looser if he refuses to take on the responsibility of a child that he helped to create. By going through the courts, your rights are covered & so are your son's rights. My youngest niece has gone through something similiar to you; only thing is the guy really loves her & has stayed with her for the last 4 years. They now have 3 daughters & he has been the sole "Bread Winner" to their little family until this last spring when he got laid off. When there is true love between two people, there is a family born! It doesn'e take a piece of paper, marriage vows & a ring to make a family; its whether you love someone enough to see past their faults to what they are underneath & you promise yourself to each other. That's what marriage is all about; the promise to be there no matter what. It may be difficult for you; but let the boy have his father's last name. It may be the only thing that he will have of him. Good Luck to you.

I believe the father would have to sign off his parental rights before you can change your son's last name. I have a friend that just went through this. Her son is 12 and he hadn't seen HIS father in the past 4 or 5 years and she hadn't received any child support in around the same amount of time. So they petitioned the courts to have the father's parental rights revoked. It was a long process but she finally won and her current husband has now adopted him.

What about hyphenating your last name & his Dad's last name so that he has both & it would make it easier with insurance & other paperwork? There may come a day when his Dad gets it together. It takes some people longer than others.

Have you asked your son his opinion on the matter?

Consider if you choose to get married (to someone other than dad) in the future. Then your son will have a last name that is different from mom and dad. I know from experience it can be inconvienient/ embarrassing to have a different last name than your child, but its much more common than you might think.

I am a single mom also. I have been since my sons birth 6 and half years ago. He has his dad's last name. I'm the sole custodial parent. All health insurance and such goes through me. My son has some minor (in the scheme of things) medical issues, so we are appointments 2-6 times a month. I have never had any issues with our last names being different. I have on occassion gotten the Mrs. and his last name, but I figure that's just par for the course.
We were never engaged, seperated before I found out I was pregnant. I gave him his dad's last name out of preference. I wanted him to have a part of his father forever. If he never had a relationship with his dad, I wanted him to at some point ask. He does have a relationship with him now. We are actually friends/get along really well now. My son lives with me, I'm his Mom and the one that's ALWAYS there. (His dad is in the reserves so often times cant be counted on). I do the sports, I do the doc visits, long nights when he's sick and such...but his last name, he's proud to share with this dad.
I haven't ever felt different, even the first year and half when his dad wasn't around at all, but I'm not sure if I would if he still wasn't around. I would say do what you feel is best for you and your family. Do it if it will make your son more proud of his name.

I don't have any info regarding the legalities with name changes in Ohio. I just wanted to say that I think you're absolutely right in wanting him to share your name. My only concern would be explaining the change to your son and making sure that he is okay with it.

A close friend of mine changed her son's last name in a similar situation. She and the father were engaged when their son was born, so she gave him the father's last name. Not long after, they called off the engagement (but were still together). She decided she wanted him to have her last name instead - partly to carry on her family name as it would have died out with her. She lived in Virginia at the time and had to petition a court to approve the name change. And I'm almost positive that she needed the father's permission (which he gave), but that may only be a Virginia requirement. She didn't need a lawyer or anything and I think the documentation fee was pretty minimal. Also, even though she and the father are now married, she and her son have kept her maiden name. She has no plans to change it.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck. It's terrible that the father isn't as involved as he should be. But it sounds like you're doing an excellent job picking up the slack.

Good luck!
A.

No matter how angry you are with the father, he is still your little one's dad. Take the high road and your son will love you for it later. Never talk bad about dad, children are smart and will figure things out on their own, without you telling them. My children's father was good-time daddy. He never paid support but he could take them to amusement parks, restaurants etc.(when he would get them) while I had to pay for all of their necessities. They turned out to be great adults and I know that it's because of me and I couldn't be prouder. Just remember to put yourself in your son's shoes--would you like the person who talked bad about your dad? I guess what I'm trying to say is , he is your son's father and your son has the right to bear his name. Good luck, it's a loooong road.

Hello,
I have very similar thoughts to Kathy B. My son's father and I were together at the time of his birth but the relationship was filled with conflict. We split up officially when my son was 6 months and his father hasn't seen him since. I chose to allow my son to have his father's last name because I figured that was the only thing he could ever give his son that wasn't stolen, cheated from someone, or manipulated from someone. I don't have any issues with having a different last name from my son other than being called Mrs. "so and so". My son has medical issues as well, sporting events, etc and he seems fine with having a different last name. My son is 5. I think I will let him decide when he gets older if he wants to change his last name.

You might have to get his father sign away his paternal rights , or at the least permission for you to change the name.
Check with a lawyer and have written records of non-support etc. available.

I was married to my girls' father until my youngest was 3. We divorced, the child support faded away, and he hasn't seen the girls in almost 4 years. I remarried a year ago, and my girls chose to change their names to my new married name. Our new family is blended, and they wanted to have the same last name as everyone else. It was completely their choice, but I'm so glad. It makes us feel more united, and as you said, it's much more convenient for a lot of reasons...insurance, school...even signing our Christmas cards!

If you are bearing the responsibility of parenthood, you deserve for your child to share your name.

If you have any specific questions about the process or anything, I would be happy to share what I know. Just send me a private message.

Good luck!

I understand why you want to do it and I don't see any problem with it. I'm not a traditionalist and would probably want the same thing in your case.
You are actually talking about a few problems here. His father owes you child support and if you don't get it call the authorities. Don't know why you waited so long to get a judgment, but now you have one and he should be paying as ordered.
The father doesn't have to give up rights to change your son's name, there's NOTHING that says a child has to have the same name as his father! However, you DO have to have his permission to change your sons name, as far as I know. So, it's a question you have to ask him before you go any further the the idea. If you have his parental rights terminated, you'll lose the child support order, so I wouldn't do that unless you don't need his help.
Good Luck:)