Leaving My Babies for Vacation

It made me a better mom when I got away when my kids were really young. I am a stay at home mom and was so into the babies, that I wasn't paying as much attention to my husband. It was great to get away just the two of us and remember why we got married to begin with. What is funny.. is we said we wouldn't talk about the kids for at least the 1st day, and that is ALL we did. As they say.. "having kids changes everything".. Have a great trip!! You will be a rested mom when you come back!

I've done it - and overall, it went well, my children are 3 and 1 now, but at the time, they were 2 1/2 and 9 months. The biggest frustration we (my husband and I) had was calling home - we called every morning and every evening to talk to the kids, but sometimes we had trouble getting in touch, because they were doing other things - in hindsight, I wish we had established in advance what times we would be calling them, or they calling us, I think it would have been easier on everyone. For example, if we called right before bedtime, my daughter would get upset and that made it more difficult to get her to go to bed, etc - so work that out in advance!

Also - one thing we did right, we bought two copies of a new book, and my husband or I were able to read it to the kids in the morning on the phone - they had a copy and we had a copy, so it made them feel like we were not really that far off.

All that being said, keep the calls and contact to no more than twice a day - you're on a vacation, so take the time to enjoy it too - I think if I had planned the call times, it would have gone a long way to eleviate my "mommy guilt" bc I knew I would talk to them that night, so I didn't have to worry that instead of parasailing, I should be calling or whatever...

Hope that helps!

Parents leave their kids with the grandparents all the time, especially over the summer for several days or a week. This is how the grandparents get quality time with the kids and vice-versa. What the parents do with their free-time is their own business. You just never hear anybody say "would you keep the grandkids for a week so we can go on vacation?" Everybody says "wouldn't it be great for Johnny and Susie to spend a week with their grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins?" It's all the same thing! Go for it!

My husband and I went to Italy for a week and left our 1 and 3 year old. I cried the whole way to the airport, but it turned out to be an amazing trip!

My MIL was supposed to watch them, but backed out at the last minute b/c of work (FURIOUS), but my SIL stepped in to help, and my grandma flew in as well as a back-up. I felt they were in VERY, loving good hands, which helped a lot.

I wrote a HUGE manual describing everything they might need to know to care for the kids. I mean I'm talking 10 pages. I did not want them to feel like anything was missing, and I wanted them to have detailed explanations of routines.

Make sure to leave medical release forms, and contact numbers for any local friends or family who might be able to step in an emergency.

Bring a computer with a webcam so you can skype and say hello. That helped a lot to see their sweet little faces.

It's hard, but so worth it to have alone time with your husband. HAVE FUN!

K

Good for you! I think it's very important for your WHOLE family for you and your husband to spend some quality time alone together. My husband and I try to take one trip a year just the two of us - even if it's just a night or two. For your sanity though - make sure you can communicate with whoever is keeping your kids (i.e. if you're going to Mexico add the service to Mexico on your cell phone for the month - you can cancel as soon as you get back) because you will miss your babies after a few days. And I know this may sound morbid - but make sure you and your husband have a will - if anything were to happen to you your kids need to be taken care of - they way you want them to be taken care of. If you can't afford an attorney you can find them online. Also leave a letter with your parents saying they have the right to seek medical attention for your children should they need it. Sorry to get all serious but those are important before you leave your babies. Then have a great trip with your hubby - I'm sure you deserve it!

Absolutely! You need that time with your husband. If you are anything like me, you spent the first year of their lives nursing them, so you couldn't really leave for very long. When my 1st child was 1, we went to a bed and breakfast for a weekend, when they were 3 & 5, we went to San Fransisco for a week (hubby had been deployed for 7 months, home for 6, then deployed for 8, so we needed some alone time!) They are now 10, 8, and 2 and we are leaving for a week this summer to go with some friends on an adult only vacation. One thing you can realize is that this is not something you are going to do every year (most likely), and that as long as they are being left with people that will love and take care of them, you should feel confident about leaving them. Not everyone has the luxury of having a safe place for their kids to stay for a vaction. Advice-don't let them pick up on your insecurities. You need to make this a positive experience "you get to stay with Grandma for a whole week! Think of the fun things you'll do!" Brainstorm ideas for the caretakers to do with the kids. Maybe things you don't usually do. My mom takes my kids to the movies, play areas, parks, etc. She lets them do playdoh, finger paint, play in a baby pool, etc. All things that I'd love to do, but don't always have time to with running the household. My mom says when they are at her house, the world revolves around them. She catches up on laundry before they come, she plans meals and does as much ahead of time as possible. Then, when they are gone, she catches up on the laundry the next week, and rests! 3 & 1 may be young for camps, but if there are any playgroups, library visits, etc. that your caretakers can bring them to, let me! Enjoy yourself!

My husband and I went on a trip when our kids were really young. It was so great. Be sure to leave a medical release form, just in case. I went online and found one, filled it in and had it notorised (sp??). You can go to a bank to have it notorised. Then I gave it to my parents along with their insurance cards.

Have a great time!!

I did this and it was an awesome bonding time for us and a destressor that made me a better mommy. I made sure to do a trial of a weekend first when we were not too far from the grandparents. it is always better if your children can be watched at home, but sometimes you just can't work it that way. I always leave a detailed daily schedule, a list of surefire activities, a list and stocked pantry/box of foods they will definately eat, and then you need some flexibility. If my MIL doesn't follow the schedule I can live with that, I give it to her so she knows what the kids are used to.

I have left my kids on a few occasions for several days to two weeks when they were older and I think it is a MUST for every parent. It is also good for the kids too. I am a bit obsessive, but I make up a list for each of my kids with their likes, dislikes and important info. Even my parents that are used to keeping them have appreciated this. What foods do they like, don't like, favorite book or movie, bed time routine, what comforts them, etc.

Last year my husband and I went to Europe for two weeks. My kids were 14 and 10. They stayed with various friends as well as my parents. I had to make a detailed schedule so my mom would know who they were staying with and what activities they had to be at. It made everything must smoother for everyone. Of course, my smart alec 14 year old made fun of the schedule. Asking to look at the schedule to see what time he was supposed to go to the bathroom, etc! lol But the adults involved found it very helpful.

We've done it and it is AWESOME!

Your children will have such a fun and special time with the family/friends who will be caring for them. It'll be like their own mini-vacation and chances are, the more you do this, the more they will remember the special times they had when they got to go to _____'s house for a week.

If anyone gives you a hard time for not going, well, personally I think they're too attached and enmeshed in their childrens' lives. Even excellent parents need a break from the day-to-day task of working, keeping a house, and raising children. Time away and alone with your husband is essential and valuable to the health of your relationship and both of you deserve to go have some fun on your own terms.

So...no feeling anxious or guilty! Go have a great time and come back healthy and refreshed because you gave yourself the gift of respite.

My husband and I asked my mom to come and stay at our house. This was much easier on our son, as he was able to sleep in his own bed, play with all of his toys and most importantly his schedule was able to stay the same.

Have fun! You and your hubby deserve it! I know for us it rekindeled lots of flames. It was so much fun getting to let loose with him and devote all of our time to one another. Ahh, you're making me jealous! I can't wait for the next parents only vacation.

And on another note. Yes, we all love our children indefinitley - but rememeber, you children will move out and then the one to hold your hand again, after so many years of sharing, will be your husband. Make time for each other now so that you don't have to get to know each other all over again when the kids move out. Love him as much if not more than your children.

We did this a couple of times for our anniversary. It was hard for me but once we left, it was a lot of fun. Your kids will do fine. Good luck and have fun!!

No I never left my three kids for one week. My kids are 10 1/2 yrs, 6 1/2 yrs and 4 yrs. They come with us on vacation. I would miss them too much.
My parents took one child once in awile to stay with them for a couple of days. My oldest stayed at my cousins house for a weekend without me.

Go for it and have a great time! We've vacationed without our kids several times; our longest trip was for 8 nights to Seattle and B.C. Our kids spend the weekend with my parents on occasion anyway, so that wasn't an adjustment, and they always have a blast. I'm a SAHM and my kids are my world - and I am theirs - but when I'm on vacation I really enjoy just being a tourist for awhile! (Oh, and we've been taking parents-only trips since my youngest was a year old.)

Definitely think couple's time is needed!! A week seems like a long time for your youngest, though. Definitely try a trial weekend ahead of time (or 2 or 3 if you have time). Have fun, and try not to call home TOO many times *grin n giggle* I'm going away for only 3 days, and I'm not sure how I'm going to take it! And my son will be 4!! LOL

yay for you! consider leaving a notarized medical treatment release form for the babysitters so they can authorize medical treatment for your kids and the hospital won't give them any problems. there are examples on the web.

When my boys were 2 and 4 they stayed with our friends for 10 days while we went to a wedding overseas. It let us enjoy the trip and do things we couldn't do with kids, and the kids not have the stress of overseas travel. They went to day care with my friends' kids and thought it was like some kind of great summer camp, since it was different from their normal routine staying hoe with Mom. We called them a couple of ties, but they were always having too much fun to talk!

We left our kids to go on a trip when they were one and four. I was anxious, but I knew they would be save staying with my parents. They had a great time there. We enjoyed our adult only vacation and had a great time as well.

I think once you leave, the anxiety will subside and you will have a great time. At least that's how I felt, when we went. It was a great feeling to come back and hugging them after being gone for a few days.

If you trust the caretakers, don't worry about it and enjoy your alone time with your husband.

My husband and I went to Toronto for a long weekend when our daughter was 1. I called a few times to check on my parents, but they did fun stuff and our daughter didn't really notice we were gone. It was much needed on our part, and we all felt better when we were back together. Go, have fun and relax!

I haven't done that yet, at least not for longer than a day, but that's only because I don't have anyone who could watch my kids for longer than that. But, I think its wonderful you are taking time for yourself and your husband. When I was growing up, my parents took child-free vacations every two or three years, and I enjoyed them just as much as they did, because I got to spend time with other family members. I hope you enjoy your vacation.

my husband and my whole sideof the family went on a 5 day cruise (for my brothers wedding) last year while my youngest was still nursing. I pumped and dumped on the ship, I was not ready to giveit up yet. we left all the kids with my husbands brother and his wife. we were only able to check in with them once since we were in international waters most of the trip. it was easier for ustodothisbecausethe weekend before we left, I sat down withmy sister in law forover an hour to discuss the kids schedules, allergies and food likes and dislikes. down to how each one takes their hotdogs. I gave them medical power of attorney, and gave them our rules for our kids, with our consequences. Also of course how to contact us on ship if they needed us. Brother and sister in law did not have kids at the time, and sadly I refused to leave with grandpa and step grandma (she is mean to my kids). Everything went great, the kids had fun and so did we.

My main advice is give the medical power of attorney with a copy of medical cards, don't call every day, maybe once or twice and have fun. If you cover everything before hand, there should be no problems. have them call you for issues.

Good for you! Enjoy your vacation!

Yep... a few days the first few times, 10 days the longest until my son was 3 and then 14. I think he may actually have had more fun than I did :)

Updated

Yep... a few days the first few times, 10 days the longest until my son was 3 and then 14. I think he may actually have had more fun than I did :)

Wow... are you sure the 3 year old is mature enough to take care of the 1 year old?

Just kidding.

Take your vacation with the err of confidence and anticipation of alone time with your husband! You wouldn't be going if you didn't have somebody you trust to watch over your kids! Go, have a blast, and call your kids in the evening so you know they are okay.

You are SO lucky! ;)

Updated

Wow... are you sure the 3 year old is mature enough to take care of the 1 year old?

Just kidding.

Take your vacation with the err of confidence and anticipation of alone time with your husband! You wouldn't be going if you didn't have somebody you trust to watch over your kids! Go, have a blast, and call your kids in the evening so you know they are okay.

You are SO lucky! ;)

Of course you should go! Make a list of their daily regimen, the foods they like/dislike, what they are/are not allowed to have, etc. We did this when we went on vacation and it worked well. Be specific, you'd be surprised how much grandparents have forgotten since they raised you . . . Also, most places have free wi-fi so you can ask for an email update each day or try Skype if you want to talk to the kiddos daily. Have fun!

Day one you are going to miss them, by night when you get to enjoy your hubby you are going to be scheduling one more often! Day two you will probaby feel guilty and miss them (call and talk for a min or two) then forget about kids WAHOO!! I am on Vaction!!! and it will be up and down the whole time and it is as it should be.

Good for you Mom and Dad! The greatest gift you can give your children is a fantastic relationship between their parents. Getting away together just to be husband and wife is an essential part of that. You are also very blessed to have family or friends that know them and are that are willing to care for your little ones while you are enjoying time away as that is the best place for them. Be sure to leave a copy of your will and a power of attorney (if your children need emergency medical care it gives the caregivers the right to make emergency medical decisions. If they don't have this they would need to wait to get in touch with you.) Also, give them a list of their daily activities like nap-time, what to make for meals, how they like to be put to sleep, etc. I would also provide them with food for the kiddos as this is an extra expense on their part.
Lastly, go and enjoy yourself and leave your guilt behind!! They will be fine and probably enjoy the time they have to spend with other people. You will both come home refreshed and relaxed and your children will notice that you are too. God Bless.

We have left our children twice and wish we could do it agian. The first time we only had once child and wend an hour away while she stayed w/ my brother and his family. The second time my oldest was 6yrs old and the twins were 3yrs old. I had to do some created scheduling. I do not have anyone that can watch them full time for 5 days. Everyone involved had a copy of the schedule to tell them who was doing what when. I had medical release forms notorized and made for everyone. I also made up a booklet with instructions on how to operate the t.v's, where the linens were, where the clothes were that I would prefer for them to wear and what foods they will and will not eat. I stocked up the cubbards and fridge. I also bought a few prepaid Sonic and McDonald cards to help with meals and treats. It was a wonderful trip! Unfortunately my parents have moved and are not in as good of health so our next trip alone will most likely happen when our oldes is old enough to watch the other 2 and drive.

Yes and it was fantastic. We were only gone for three nights, but it was sooo worth it and I would totally do it for a week! If your kids are comfortable with the people you're leaving them with, it won't be a problem at all. Our son was so happy to spend the weekend with his grandparents he barely noticed we were gone. Call home when you can and talk to them on the phone, but don't stress and don't let worrying about them rule your vacation.

Have fun! And make sure you don't talk about the kids the whole time you're gone. : )

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao - got kids? I've got toys! Make holiday shopping easy by choosing Discovery Toys.

We're planning a trip next year with just hubby and I to go to New York... i've been but he hasn't.... so i'm glad you asked this question because it makes me feel better to that us as moms and dads really do need this time alone and that there are so many people who support that.... have a great time!! :)

I agree with the medical release and insurance card. We did this when our daughter was young and the one thing we learned was it was better for us NOT to call and talk to her. It was upsetting. If we didn't call, she was perfectly happy to be with grandparents. On subsequent trips, no calls home (except to talk to the grandparents).

Go and enjoy! I've taken a number of trips with girlfriends and long weekends with my husband for up to 4 days, and I would LOVE to have the opportunity to go away with my husband for a week right now! My mother passed away last year, and we no longer have the option of going off together with no kids until they're a bit older and more autonomous. You'll have a fabulous time and your kids will probably have a great time too!

i am so happy to see so much support for you! i agree with the rest.....it's an excellent idea all round, good for your marriage (which always makes it a good thing for the family at large), great for your kids, and nice for whoever gets to spend precious bonding time with your kids. i LOVE my visits to grandparents and cousins when i was a kid. you get to know them in ways you just can't when you're with your folks.
have a wonderful time!
:) khairete
S.

It will be the best thing you can do with your Hub... you should try to do that at least once a year. The kids will be fine and probably wont miss you. In fact you will be disappointed when you get home because they will probably not even notice you came back! So, relax and enjoy the entire week and be your "old" selves again.

When our oldest was younger, we went to Mexico for five nights and Europe for a week. For our 10th Anniversary, we went to California for three nights. We had two at the time, and they both caught a rotavirus. No one has watched them for us since then. I miss getting away occasionally with just my husband. The kids are now 3 and 7, and we have another on the way, so no more trips for us for a while. I provided contact lists with our doctor and hospitals' numbers on it. Make sure whomever is keeping your children has permission to obtain medical treatment for them. Your doctor should have a form. Also, if you have never left them overnight, do a few trial runs first. Also, especially for the three year old, you can tell him/her that you will bringing home specific items for them from wherever you go - shells from the beach, keychains, or whatever. You will have fun, and they will be fine.

I just wanted to say I think it is great you and your husband are going on a vacation without kids. We are leaving for a vacation with no kids this afternoon. I think to be good parents we have to take time to recharge. My kids went to their grandmother's house. My daughter was so excited she was ready for us to leave. It was harder to leave my son who is 18 months. But hearing him yesterday having a good time has made me feel much better. I hope you have a great time! It's good for everyone.

YAY to a vacation! It sounds like you guys definately deserve/need one:) My husband and I just went to Vegas for 7 nights in September, leaving out 19month old for the first time.... I was terrified that she wouldn't do very good, because she is a little clingy to Mommy:) My Mom came and stayed at our house so she would have a familiar place to be and she did AWESOME!! Didn't cry for us at all, just would ask and when my Mom would tell her we would be back in a couple days she seemed to accept that as an answer.... So my advice to you is relax and have a good time, they will do better than you think. AND remember that a Mommy with rest is a way better Mommy to have!!:)

it's good for you, your husband and it's great for your kids! have a blast. I leave my kids with grandparents ALL the time! everyone loves it.