Leaving Children Alone

So apparently this runs in the family, since grandma thinks it's ok also. Why didn't you talk to her too when she was at the store with the 8 yo and left the 7 yo with the other two?

If the grandmother, or another adult is not staying with the kids while their parents are on vacation, I think CPS should pick up those kids immediately. I don't understand why the grandmother would leave the other kids at home.

What a mess!

Blessings..

It matters on the kid. In Africa, I know of several 8 year olds that are raising their siblings because parents are deceased.

I would have called CPS already...

I haven't read the other response - I just want to say that MY parents pulled this same idiotic behavior and I WISH TO GOD that someone would have stepped in and reported them. We were beaten if we told anyone they were gone for days at at time. My sister, one year older than I, would be abandoned at home for long weekends with 4 little kids to tend to.

It was a horrible and unsafe way to be raised.

Please, please step in and do something.

just because they "do it all the time" doesn't make it right or anything close to safe. My daughter is a very mature 11 years old and I only just started leaving her home for short periods of time while I might be running an errand close by - as in maybe 20-30 minutes max while I'm no more than 5 minutes or so from home. She has taken a "babysitting 101" class at our local college and knows basic first aid and CPR believe it or not. I would never leave her in charge of any children younger than herself. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her with siblings (assuming she had any) until she was at least 13-14. No way should a 7 year old be in charge of anyone!

No no no! You are not over reacting! You've given them a chance to correct this. I think the only course of action is the one you are taking - CPS. That is unfortunate, but I think the responsible thing to do.

I'm with monkeymomz! I don't even trust my child with my parents (they are decently normal) let alone a 12 year old! I can't believe some people in this world. I do believe the word for it is stupid and lazy.

Well... I think it also depends. I used to have a neighbor who let his 8 and 5 year old stay home alone all the time. BUT only if he knew we would be home. His kids knew how to behave without adults around. They were taught NOT to open the door to anyone. If someone knocked, they would call us on the phone to let us know someone was at their house. They knew proper use of emergency numbers, and knew to come get us in an urgent, but not emergency situation. They were both very responsible for their ages. We would also check in on them on a regular basis, every 1-2 hours.

Growing up, we started staying home alone all day when my brother was 9 or so... So I was 8, my younger brother was 6, and my little sister was 4. We had set rules, and we followed them. We also had a neighbor who checked in on us every 3-4 hours. We were allowed to go to friends' houses, but had to call and let the neighbor know where we were going.

BUT, if the kids didn't have someone responsible watching out for them, and were not responsible themselves, I would definitely see an issue.

It is not illegal in Texas. Here is the official policy: https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/About_Child...

There is no specific age that is stated as old enough to be left alone. This leaves it up to the authorities, if contacted, to determine if the entire situation is OK or if it is neglectful. The reason for the law about being left in a car is the heat in Texas.

Minnesota is similar, as far as what is illegal, but does state guidelines for appropriate ages. I started leaving my 8 year-old daughter, no siblings, home alone for up to an hour occasionally, and now at 9 she is very comfortable with that.

Wow, I read this and just can't believe people would think that's okay. What if the 3 year old got hurt? Does the 7 year old or 8 year old know what to do? I personally wouldn't trust a 12 year old with my 3 year old (when my 2.5 yr old is 3) let alone an 8 or 7 year old with a 4 and 3 year old. CanCun is not worth a child's life. Are there other things they do that's neglectful? I'm not trying to imply anything, but it does make me wonder about other areas of their parenting. I'd offer to watch the kids on vacations... I mean 9 days with the 8 year old in charge, is that what happened? That's some neglect in my opinion. I'd call the authorities to see if they consider that illegal, I bet they would... but of course it's not my relative so I'm pretty unbiased lol. But when children are involved I hope you can try to put that aside. An hour is one thing (I'd still be uncomfortable) but days is another.. Just WOW!

I feel the same way you do. An 8 or 7-year old doesn't have the maturity or discretion to babysit yet. That's just reckless . . . and possibly illegal, I would think. If your nephew and his wife/girlfriend can afford to go off for 9-days to Cancun, then they should be able to afford a babysitter to watch the kids.

Wishing you the best of luck with your discussion.

No, 7 or 8 is too young to be home alone especially watching siblings. In my state CPS guidelines say kids under 9 should not be left alone 9-12 depends on the child and situation. Younger children should not be left with other children under I believe 14. I know I was babysitting at 12 though--I took a course and always could reach an adult (the parents or my own mom if necessary). I was also allowed to be home by myself for an hour or so starting at age 9 or 10.

I am not sure how the parents think that is ok. I think 8 is too young to be left alone much less in charge of younger kids. Never, ever, would I do this too risky.

I agree with you. Age 12 is when I will start.

Did the parents leave the children for 9 days then while they are in Cancun?

I know Texas has no set age limit, but it does consider the number of children and ages and maturity of others left in the oldest child's care, and also the duration of time. If an 8 or 7 year old is babysitting a 4 and 3 year old for that long, it would certainly be a dangerous situation and I would call cps.

https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/About_Child...

I've been called overprotective over the years, but personally, I only JUST started letting my 13 y/o stay at home alone (and only for short hops--a couple hours at a time at MOST). And NOT with any of his siblings. My 11 y/o wants to know why he can't stay home if Eleazar can, well, because you aren't old enough yet.

I don't think I'd feel comfortable leaving the younger siblings in the older childrena care until the eldest was at least 15. Even then, I would only leave them for short hops and not with the babies (and by babies I mean any of them born after 2005 lol!).

I would say you definitely are not overreacting, but I don't know that I would call CPS just yet. I would talk with your nephew and his wife first. It probably won't do any good, but CPS can really destroy a family (they can also do a lot of good).

This is crazy. Give him an ear full.

Granted I started babysitting at 11, but my mother was an RN and I was infant/ child CPR certified. I was also fully drilled on the proper use of 911. I also never babysat for anyone farther away from my own home then I could ride my bike. In case I really needed an adult, I could ride straight home in a matter of moments.

You asked this question an hour ago & you already have 21 answers (all the same I might add). Maybe you could show them these answers...

I was a latch key kid starting at 8. I was fine for those few hours. I came home called my mom, made a snack and started homework. Then I was allowed to watch TV. I knew not to open the door, not to play outside etc.

I do not understand what you are saying about the other kids at home alone with the 7yr old.

So the grandmother is staying with them for this time while the kids parents are out of town in Cancun, but the grandmother left all of them except the 8 yr old to go to the store? That seems odd.

Or she is not staying with them during all of this time and the kids are all alone during this time? That would be irresponsible.

I do think it sounds like a handful for an 8 or 7 yr old to be in charge of the younger kids. I would just ask about the situation and not assume anything.

Our daughter used to stay home while I ran to the grocery store when she was about 9. She was fine, We live in a safe neighborhood, I guess it really depends on the maturity of the child.

But I would not think many 8 year olds could keep up with all of those children for days at a timem, and no it is not against the law in Texas for the 8 year old to watch their siblings alone for a few hours.

I know this, because I have had to call CPS about a situation before. They will come and evaluate and if the child in charge can show they can care for the kids for a few hours. Then nothing will be done.

Be very careful how you approach this,. Just because you do not think YOUR kids can handle this, does not mean this other child cannot handle it.

That's beyond insane. My oldest two are 13 and we don't leave our son in charge at all (too much fighting) and our daughter is good for maybe an hour or so if we are nearby. They are just a tragedy waiting to happen. I hope that they heed your advice but if they don't change this, I would seriously call in CPS before tragedy strikes those children while they are left unattended.

If something happened they could be charged with neglect I believe. That happened around here once where a younger teen was left in charge and there was a fire. Just something to think about. My 12 year old only stays home (with or without her 18 month sister) at the max 10 minutes - long enough for me to run drop a movie off at Redbox 2 blocks away. There's just too much that can happen. I know I was babysitting for up to 10 kids for up to 10 hours on football saturdays at her age, but my parents were always a house behind us and now I'm an adult and just not comfortable. I don't feel an 8 year old should be home alone let alone in charge of 3 younger children!!

i believe the law is that at 8 a child can stay in the house by there self for a few hours, but they can not watch other kids until 11 or 13. so no i would be worried too. i think that is to much responsbility for a 8 and 7 year old

They are insane. I have enough trouble as an adult making sure my 4 year old doesn't clobber himself. That's just downright stupid. What's an 8 year old going to do if there's a fire, if one of the little ones chokes on something for god's sake? Heck, you can be looking right at them and they'll fall and hurt themselves.

Chew your nephew out up one side and down the other when he gets back. You might even want to call CPS just to ask if there's a law. Don't name names, but as family you can attempt to get your nephew to wake up. A non-family member may see this and report it and THEN what will they do?

It's illegal, end of discussion. If any of the children slip and tell a teacher they are mandated by law to call CPS. pass that on!

Leaving all of those children home alone together is setting up for a disaster. An eight year old is not capable of being responsible for himself, let alone three other children! Even if the oldest displays maturity beyond his years, it is not alright for his parents to leave him responsible for his siblings, even if just for a few hours. What if there was an emergency? What if he got distracted by a TV show or a video game and the little ones ran off? There is just too much that *could* happen. Surely there must be someone, Grandma, a neighbor, that could step in and watch them for those few hours. Before you talk to them, make sure you find out the laws in your state. Let them know that they could be in big trouble if the authorities found out that they regularly leave their children home alone. Maybe you could even offer to help out once in awhile?

Do they read email? Send them the law in your state. I think it will 11 or 12 is the legal age to be home alone. Then Everyday send them a true story about something that happened like children in a fire, (happens a lot) children kidnapped, if you're in a small town or even a neighbor hood where word gets out these kids are home alone..... Toddlers getting into medicine I saw one true story of an 11 year old babysitting, she asked a kid to get her a knife to open up a new video package (she said she was thinking a butter knife) but the kid comes running back with a big sharp knife and runs right into a toddler. Nearly killed him because the 11 year old didnt think to say make it a butter knife and do not run with it. You will have no trouble finding one a day. OR call child protective services so you know you did all you could to protect those kids

No, it's not okay for 7 or 8 year old children to be left home alone to care for younger siblings. I started leaving mine alone at almost 10 and 10 years old, at 12, I let my daughter start to watch her younger brother but an 8 or a 7 really can't be responsible for little kids. I don't know what the laws are about being left home alone or in charge of other kids in your state, here in NY there are none but you hope poeple use good judgement. These parents and grandma are not using good judgement. An 8 year old is NOT a suitable babysitter for 3 younger children for hours, most 8 year olds are not even ready to stay home alone by themselves.

i don't have an issue with the vacations because we do couple vacations often as we can afford to. however the rest of it bothers me. i didn't leave my 2 kids (ages almost 14 and 7) alone for more than an hour until the oldest turned 13. if they won't listen to reason from family, try someone at their school or CPS.

Believe it or not, but very few states have any kind of age restriction on when a child can be left home alone. However, the recommended age is 12, although it could vary depending on the maturity of the child. I MIGHT be able to understand leaving the 7 or 8 year old home alone for a short time (no more than a couple of hours), as long as the child was by them self. However, I do not feel that a 7 or 8 year old is mature enough to be responsible for the younger children.

Hummm, the 8 yr old alone maybe for 20-30 mins but not in charge or the others. What if there was a fire say from lightening or something not something they have done, then what? I'd talk to them and tell them it's not a good idea give reasons then suggest some sitters that you have gotten names of from say church or something and refer them to calling and setting up a sitter for when they are leaving on saturdays for work.
Better yet see if you can help with sitting you had said they are you nephew's, nieces, it's obvious they need some help, guidance.
Either that or keep out of it theirs only two choices and it's better to give guidance and a solution then to just tell on someone.
Blessings and best wishes

I think my 8 year old would be mature enough to be able to, but i still wouldnt do it.

It seems the grandmother was irresponsible. But if you say this happens regularly, it needs to be address because next the 7 year old is gong to leave the 4 year in charge of the 3 year old.

They need to pay for a sitter on Saturdays.

First, I would suggest checking the laws in your state. If your nephew also lives in Texas, check this out:

https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/About_Child...

How old must a child be to be left home alone?

Answer: Supervision of children is basic to the prevention of harm. Adequate supervision means an adult caregiver is accountable for the child's care. Although, there is no Texas law that defines a specific age at which a child may be left home alone, there are several factors that should be taken into consideration when deciding how closely to supervise a child, including:

the age, emotional maturity and capability of the child;
layout and safety of the home, play area, or other setting;
neighborhood circumstances, hazards, and risks;
the child's ability to respond to illness, fire, weather, or other types of emergencies; and
whether the child has a mental, physical, or medical disability.

The number of children left unsupervised, the accessibility to other responsible adults, the length of time or frequency with which the child is left alone, and the child's knowledge of the parent's whereabouts are additional relevant factors.

If Grandma was at the store with the 8 year old, she must know the other 3 were at home-ALONE!!! What did she have to say about it? I guess she wasn't concerned either.........

Not in my house. I wasn't allowed to stay home by myself until I was 10 (5th grade) and was not allowed to watch my siblings until I was 12 or 13.

Wrong, wrong, wrong! No, I would venture to say you are absolutely, without a doubt, NOT over reacting!

Don't watch your nephew's kids if its a stretch for you. I'm not sure how talking to the parents will help if the grandmother does the same thing as the parents. Their way of handling babysitting seems to be passed down generation to generation so they may not be open to a new way of handling the kids.

This is how I was raised. Because of all the stupid things I did while my parents were away, I could never do it and I think it's wrong. It was accepted when I was a child. But now days they could lose their children over it I think. It's especially bad that the youngest is 3 and 4!

Wow, that is too young. My almost 11 year old is home for 2 hours alone 3 days a week and even that makes me nervous. I would NEVER leave her (at this age) to watch my 5 year old too. Not even for a 1/2 an hour much less 1/2 the day. Mabey they cannot afford the child care (even though they are on vacation)? Are there other options you can offer? Was the grandmother ok with this?

OMG , that's illegal.
I would call cps.
or if you'd rather , take the parents aside and explain to them that it's illegal for them to do this.

CPS all the way. This is blatantly negligent and when something this obvious is occurring, it isn't too much of a stretch to wonder what else might be occurring.

I agree that the situation needs some action. I would just recommend that you speak openly and frankly with the parents before calling CPS. If you tell them that you are considering calling, that might be enough to motivate a change. As a parent, if someone thought I was doing something to endanger my children, I would sure hope they'd talk to me before calling authorities and give me a chance to change without the government getting involved.

Well I have 3 kids (almost 8 , 5 & almost 3) and I can say that there is no way I would leave the eldest in charge of the others (or himself for that matter) , that's not to say that I haven't ran out to the mail box or gone to the garage for something and left them in the house , but I was gone all of 2 minutes! You are right to be concerned about this , leaving them for several hours is not acceptable and they should arrange proper supervision if they have to go to work. I would def talk to them