Learning to Ride a Bike

When my son was learning he was scared too. One day he put on his Buzz Lightyear costume and that gave him confidence to be a superhero, and that was the day he rode without his training wheels...

I agree that maybe putting the training wheels back on will help him get his confidence back. Then he can rid around hiself and get the feel for it. Once he is more comfortable you can take them off or some are made to flip up so that they are still there but not on the ground.

Good luck!

I suggest putting the training wheels back on. He is safe with that and he needs to feel safe. After a while, take off one training wheel. After he has successfully mastered that, then take off the other wheel. At this point, you want to give him some say so in when he feels he is ready for the next step. As he sees other kids his age riding without training wheels, he will be motivated to move along quicker.

Every child is different. My oldest son had no fear and learned everything very quickly. My middle child was the complete opposite. It took him 3 yrs of swimming lessons. Now he is a lifeguard. My youngest son was somewhere in between but did the same thing with the bike as you son. He was nine when he finally learned. I would have your husband put training wheels on the bike for a few months. What really worked with my son was when we took a trip to Canada. We rented bikes and his was attatched to an adult bike. He got the hang of it and learned how to balance. When we got back home, I said I'm taking you to the park. You are going to ride your bike today. He learned on dry hard grass. This way if he fell, it wouldn't hurt too much. We walked the bikes to the park and rode home about 20 minutes later. To be honest, I don't think men can teach very well. They let go way too soon and just expect them to get it. My husband (who is the best husband and father) was a terrible bike instructor. My middle son learned from neighborhood kids on one of those teeny tiny little bikes that 2-3 year olds ride. His legs were so bowed out. It was so funny. He was 7. He was embarrassed because this little 3 yr old was riding around all the time so he was determined to learn. Anyway, give it some time. Don't force him. Try some of the above ideas. Especially traing wheels. Your husband can raise them up a little at a time. Good luck.

Hi A.,

Parent Coach J. B here. We taught all three to ride and learned from the experience.
First, if your son can't be gently persuaded to try again, put the training wheels on and let him go for awhile like that. I promise he will learn eventually!
When he is ready, here are some pointers:
- With your son sitting still on the bike with a parent holding the seat of the bike, gently let the bike lean one way or the other. Teach your son how to catch himself by placing a foot on the ground. Practice until he is confident that he won't fall easily and knows how to move his body and place his foot to compensate for the leaning bike.
- Before teaching him to ride, reinforce how to stop again and again, starting at slow speeds and building up. An adult should run along holding the bike. Practice until he knows he can keep control of the bike (and the situation).
- Teach him to ride on the grass on a level area. He is less likely to lose control than if going downhill and landing on the grass (if he does fall) is much softer than landing on other surfaces.
- Be prepared to run alongside him, helping him learn to balance, pedal fast enough to stay up and then gradually try letting go of the bike.
- Practice for 15 or 20 minutes several times a week or until your son has had enough. Celebrate every step he masters!!

By the way, if he is really cautious about this, try the idea Ginger suggested of bending the training wheels. He might just teach himself!

Good luck,
J. B
Parent Coach

Hi A.-

My girls are the same ages as your kids. They received bikes from Santa just this past year. They're riding quite well now- the older one without and the younger with training wheels.

My sense is that the fear of falling is weighing more on your son's mind than anything, and this fear is not abated by training wheels. (I'm not saying don't use them, I'm saying don't make that the focus of the therapy, ie don't say to him: don't be afraid now because you have tw. He won't believe they'll keep him from falling and he'll probably feel like he's dissapointing you when he is still afraid, which he will be.

My 7 yo had fear too. And we never pressed the issue, really. We figured there's enough pressure out there, no need to go creating a sense of inadequacy.

Then one day we had a playdate with a friend of my younger daughter's from pre-school, a boy. They both went on the playdate, and it was mostly outside. This little boy could ride like the wind on two wheels, and he was 4! He had a perfectly sized bike for his little body and he could maneuver around better than just about anyone I've seen.

That sparked my 7 yo to try again, without training wheels. She realized he was a lot younger than she was. She was positively inspired, and now she's mastered riding on two wheels.

Sometimes kids can do for other kids what parents cannot.

Maybe take him and show him other kids riding around the neighborhood, he needs to know what's possible for him. He'll believe it if he sees it for himself.

I love the ideas about no pedals- seems like another great way to get him to believe in the magic of centrifugal force.

Best of Luck!
Jenn

I don't want to sound harsh, but put the training wheels on. If he is one that is easily afraid anyway, why would you not give him training wheels first? Don't force him to try to ride without them. That could lead to him never wanting to ride a bike. Put the wheels on, leave it sitting where he can see it frequently. He'll eventually get back on it and try it on his own.

We got our girls scooters (the 2-wheeled ones) for Christmas 2006 and those REALLY made a big difference in preparing them for their bikes without training wheels. They learned how to balance on those, so getting on the bike was a lot easier, having already mastered balance. As far as encouraging him to try again, a little bit of good 'ol bribery doesn't hurt! A trip to Marble Slab for his favorite ice cream or something. Good luck!

I have a 7 year old girl who is going through the same thing with her bike, except she has her training wheels on and she still wont get on it. We went through this with swimming, and rollerskating as well. But now she is a great swimmer and she loves her skates.
I don't know about FORCING my child to get back on it after a blow to the head knee or whatever though. My daughter was on her bike and she was turning but the bike was going too fast and it was her first time on it. She took a sharp turn and panicked... And bam. Every since then she wont get back on. I keep encouraging her to get on though. The way I see it was I rode her tail to get those floats off and when she finally did and realized she could swim she was shocked at herself.
I just remind her of all the things in her life that she thought she couldn't do and how she overcome all of those fears, I know one day she will get it. Just remember to be paitiant.
Good luck

Forget the training wheels. They are such a waste of time. Riding a bike is about BALANCE. Once a child rides with training wheels for awhile, then the training wheels come off...the child has to RELEARN how to ride the bike a second time.

Make sure the seat is at it's lowest setting so he can touch the ground. If the bike is too big, get a smaller one. Even if the bike is too small, at least your son will be in control and less intimidated and fearful. Don't worry about peddling right now. BALANCE is the key. Get him to push with his feet to make the bike roll and when it builds up enough speed (not racing) have him pick his feet off the ground for balance and he can coast. Your son will be in control of stopping the bike with his feet when he loses balance.

My daughter was six when she learned to ride. My neighbor had a bike with no peddles and this is what did it for my daughter. When she was coasting down the driveway with her feet planted "on the bike" and she was turning onto the sidewalk without touching the ground, this is when she was ready to begin peddling, because she had the balance down pat. It was a miricle moment when she got on a bike with peddles and rode off without us.

So the key is BALANCE. The bike must be little enough for his size and the seat low enough that he can reach the ground with plenty of control.

They are hard to find, but there are bikes made without peddles. I think Target has one in the toy department. My neighbor's sister lives in Germany and this bike with no peddles was from Germany called PUKY. Can't find 'em here.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes!

Deborah

A.,

Give it time. He'll come around. The good news is that he won't be riding with training wheels forever. My hunch is that the other kids will be his greatest motivation to ride without the training wheels as they speed off into the sunset. My son is the same way. He's very cautious and fearful of making mistakes or failing. I'm not sure there is any "right" way to handle it other than knowing you are his mother and your instincts are the best path to follow because you know him better than any of us do. I know that's really not an answer, but maybe a little peace of mind. I'm interested to know what works...for future reference that is :)

Take the training wheels off and let him push himself forward with his feet. This gives him so much more control. Both my girls learned this way and they learned in a matter of hours. When they crashed, they got up determined to not let it happen again.

he is scared of crashing and getting hurt again or looking stupid in front of his family-try adding training wheels until he gets his confidence back and get the hang of how to balance the bike-it will not take long-rebecca

Good afternoon A.,
I have found that learning to ride a bike in the lawn with plush grass. It is harder to pedal but the steering is more controlable and the falls hurt less. In addition, the ride is slower and the parent can keep up. As to get the little tike to get back on maybe a family outing to a park where other children his age are also riding.

Do you have an older smaller bike that dad can take off the pedals and chain gaurd to make it into a "push" bike? They sell a wooden version for about $200, but my husband just used an older smaller bike to convert. The point is that the kiddos can touch the ground and everything, so they push themselves around, which allows them to learn balance before getting onto a bigger bike. I have heard that the learning curve for transition to a "big kid bike" (no training wheels) is tremendous if you use this method.

Some push bikes for you to see: http://www.maukilo.com/getmanufacture.php?man=92&gcli...

My step-son is 7 1/2 and STILL does not know how to ride a bike. He has always had training wheels but has no interest. I wouldn't worry about it too much, find another activity. He is scared of everything so we just find activities he likes.

Parents magazine had a great article on learning to ride that we used with our 2nd child (wish we had it with the first). They said to take off the pedals and let them push themselves from the ground for about 30 minutes. Then put the pedals back on and let them give it a try. My husband took a big beach towel, folded it thin longways, and put it around them front to back like a belt, hooking it under their arms. He then ran along side, holding the end of the beach towel behind them, so if they fell, they wouldn't hit hard. My first daughter took all afternoon to figure it out the old fashioned way. My second took about 45 minutes before she was riding on her own. http://oikourgos.blogspot.com/2006/05/teaching-your-child...

He'll want to do what you do, so get on your bike too and show him how it's done. We started our son in a trailer when he was little, so biking has been a part of his life. Also, if any of his friends ride that might motivate him. Otherwise, don't push it. Maybe try another activity - let him get comfortable with the learning process and have success. It might give him confidence to try the unknowns again.

Get traininig wheels. Apologize to him for forgetting to put them on. Let him know everyone has training wheels to get started. Then have him sit on the bike with training wheels to show him it won't tip over. Let that be it for a while. Do not push him to ride it. It is his schedule and agenda, not yours.

Buy the training wheels and put them on the bike. Then leave it where he can see it, then he might want to sit on the bike. Once he realizes he won't fall off he might start riding again.

I don't know how big your child's bike is on him, but we gave our son a used hand me down that was too small for him. It didn't have training wheels. He would get on it and push it with his feet instead of pedaling it. He did this for a few weeks. He eventually started pushing with his feet then lifting his feet and he realized he could balance. The next thing he did was start to pedal. He was so proud of himself. I would say don't preasure him. He will do it on his own time.

My daughter is 6 and she wanted to take her training wheels off last weekend. She is not riding on her own yet, but she is trying. I took her to the track at her school and let her ride on the packed grass, so when she fell it wasn't bad. I also have been encouraging her with other balance activities, standing on one leg etc. She would be really afraid too, if she had a bad fall. I told her before we even started that falling is a part of learning. Maybe if you go to a park area and dress for falls that will help? Also maybe set up a home balance beam of sorts - 2x4 or a log set up in the back yard that your son can practice walking across to get his confidence back up. Hope this helps and good luck - kj

Tough one, your husband should have made him get back on the bike immediately. I had a fall like that on a horse when I was about 7 and if my parents hadn't made me get back on and ride the horse back to the stable I don't know if I ever would have ridden again. My thought is you simply need to force him to try it again, by whatever means necessary.. bribe him or put the training wheels on it for now, just get him back on the bike.

I agree with everyone who's suggested putting the training wheels on. My younger brother had a very similar experience (although he ended up with a hairline fracture in his wrist because of the way he broke his fall), and unfortunately he never really got back on the bike again. If he's fearful, he needs all the support you can give him--physical (with the training wheels), verbal and emotional. And that includes giving him some space and time if he needs it, not forcing him right back on if he's not ready.

If I had it to do over, I'd start all my kids out with toddler two-wheelers, where there is a plastic, VERY wide wheel, and pedals, but they can touch the ground. We did this with our sixth child, and he's the only one I didn't break my back on! However, your son has already fallen, like my first son did. Dad eventually put the training wheels back on for him, and he rode crooked, weight to one side, until he was 9! Every once in a while I'd talk to him about it and ask if he wanted them off, and explain to him that when he rode that way he was making it harder for himself to learn to keep his balance. We let him make the decision, though, figuring that it was his playtime. When he was nine, he decided to take them off, and he got the tools and did so, and that was that. Today (at 17) he is training with his dad to do a week-long, 450-mi. bike trip in September.

I would start out by putting training wheels on the bike. That might give him enough confidence to get back on the bike knowing that it won't tip over as easily. Once he gets the confidence back up, you can raise the training wheels until he's pretty much riding on his own.

Both of my sons learned to ride their bikes, either on or near a grassy area. My oldest son learned to ride entirely on the grass, but that was a little easier, as we lived in Chicago, and the grass was a bit different, softer and flat.
My 6 yr. old just learned last summer, and we would just walk and walk with him holding on to the bike, not letting go for a long while...in order to give him confidence, and feel the balance. Eventually, we would build up to 'letting go' while he was going down our flat driveway, headed towards our grassy yard. Somehow, knowing if he was going to take a spill in the softer grass destination, was okay.

Good luck!

If he has never ridden a bike before with training wheels it might be a good idea to get him some training wheels til he gets used to peddling and steering, for most kids this is their first attempt at multi-tasking.
As far as getting him on it again, don't be forceful or threaten to take it away if he doesn't get on it, just be patient...he will get on it and try again.
I took my daughter out on a grassy field for softer landings, and plenty of open space to go streight, there will be time for turning later. After she realized the grass was softer than the pavement she gave it a try, with lots of me holding onto the bike. One other thing to consider is that he may feel as tho he "let Dad down" all kids want to do is please parents, and not riding and getting back on he may feel pretty bad about letting dad down, make sure dad lets him know he is still proud of him.

Hi A.,

After my son got banged up a few times on the pavement, he was rather shy about trying again. I'm not sure where the idea came from, but we practiced in our great room on the carpet. We had plenty of space to get going, and we moved some furniture out of the way. Within an hour he was riding with confidence. This was an one-time occasion though! Hope it works for your son. Good Luck!

Hi A.,
We have a 5 yr old daughter and the way we taught her was easy. What I told her was just sit down do not peddle and push your bike. When you go down hill hold tight and concentrate on manubering the front. It only took about a week in a half and now she can ride her bike.

Have your son just sit down that way he will be familiar and most important confident that he will do fine. While he sits he can really concentrate on how the bike feels without training wheels.

Good luck,
Elisa

My husband took our son to a big grassy field and ran beside him for a long while, to give him more confidence, then saying he was going to let go or let him go by himself. Once our son got comfortable and a little more confident to ride by himself, they would play a game. Dad would stand away and have our son ride towards him. It worked. Good luck!

My five year old son was exactly the same way. We actually put the training wheels back on and let it go for a few months. Then when we attempted again, I never let go the first few times. I would run with him. He fussed and cried almost as if we were cutting his arms and legs off, but finally it worked. I also hired a high school track boy who was willing to go to Indian Point Park 2 mile straight stretch and run. That actually worked the best and we've had no problems since.

I would go and get him training wheels. Maybe even knee pads and elbow pads and definately a helmet. If he feels he can't get hurt he is more likely to try. He needs to know that when you fall off you always have to "get back on the horse". It will be hard at first but he will do it. It would also help out if you took him out and held his bike while he tried. He might not want to with dad since that is when he got hurt in the first place.

Hello well you know that learning is not easy and just tell him that you had the same issue when you were young. You can buy him some kneepads.armpads and a helmet so that he does not hurt himself that bad but tell him about your experience that we all fall at least one or two times but then later it is going to be fun for him. Some times when you tell your kids about your own experience they find it fun and they trust you more hope this helps and just try to make it fun for him.

sorry for your son, my advice as a mother of 6 is that you can try putting just one training wheel and let him feel he is not a baby that needs the 2, but he can have and extra help while he is learning balance.Love

Purchase some training wheels for him till he regains his confidence. Little by little adjust the training wheels without him knowing a little higher at a time so that he is not so dependent.Then eventually you can remove one or both as he gets more confident.

The elderly man who owned a small bike store near my house shared what he considered "the best" method for teaching kids how to ride a bike. Put them on a small bike w/ no training wheels; one that is too small for them to ride normally so their feet are firm and flat on the ground when they sit on it. Then work with them at the top of a small incline (my driveway worked well). Have them just keep practicing going down the driveway by themselves without having to touch the ground. Once they get that feeling of how to keep their balance, the rest is a breeze. i have three boys and this method has worked like a charm. It gives them the autonomy to do this on their own, eliminates that trust issue of hoping mom or dad doesn't let them fall, and also minimizes the backache you get from running up and down the street holding their bicycle! Good luck.

Was he practicing on the cement? Maybe if you could encourage him to practice only on grass, and give him small rewards for practicing for short periods of time. Explain that you can't get hurt as badly on grass like you can on cement. Tell him that once he learns, the family can make a special trip somewhere where you can not only all ride your bikes together, but do other fun things. Hope this fits your situation and is able to help!--N. (from the Houston area)

I had a friend a few years back who had an older son that could not ride without training wheels. I found something on the internet and have not seen it fail yet. She used it on the next 3 kids and now I have used it on mine.
Take the pedals off of the bike and lower the seat so that both feet are firmly on the ground. Let him push himself around for a while. Eventually get him to push himself and glide with his feet up. He still has the safety net of putting his feet down. When he can glide and turn easily with his feet up for a distance - he is ready for the pedals. He does not require the pedals to stay balanced, now the pedals are an added bonus. Do not move the seat as he has still needs to be able to put his feet down as before if need be. This process took less than a week. I was still skeptical with our first child, so when the pedals went on we also put the bar on. Wouldn't you know, she just took off and we never once had to touch the bar. It all makes sense.

back up, put the training wheels back on and let him get comfortable again. Take him to walmart and let him pick out knee and elbow pads and then tell him he will be fine when he wants to try again.

Also, we were at a picnic and my daughter learned immediately on a bike that was smaller than she was. The seat was all the way down and she looked like a clown on a mini-bike, but she had better control over it and could put her feet firmly on the ground when she wanted to stop...maybe look at putting his seat all the way down or borrowing a smaller bike.

my son was very afraid after his first fall as well. Since he loves to tinker with tools and taking things apart, we let HIM put on one of the training wheels and ride with it for a while. He would put it on and take it off just to tinker, but he was in charge of when it was finally removed. Perhaps knowing he could put it back on at any time was enough security-- and the tinkering part took his mind off of his fears.

Get a two-wheel scooter! The kind he stands up on and pushes with his feet. My son also had a rough start with a bicycle so we tried the scooter and it worked! After he masters the scooter put training wheels on his bike and a helmet. Give him time and good luck!

I had a similar experience. I watched my 8 yo face bounce off the pavement about a week ago in a bike crash. He didn't want to get back on either. My hubby took him to walmart and he picked out a full helmet, and misc body pads. Now he is comfortable riding and enjoys it very much

buy him pads and helmet. Let him know you are there for him when he wants to learn. get a bike for yourselves so when he learns you can ride as a family. but most of all be patient. he will ride when he gets ready. may god bless and enrich your life

Definitely do what it takes to make him feel safe. Add the wheels back on & the pads & helmet are good ideas, too. Ride your bike at the same time. Keep the wheels on, but pull them up & out so that they're not even touching the ground: he just thinks they are! When HE's ready, put a towel around him as he goes down a gentle slope. incentives and rewards, too.

Give him some time and be patient. Don't force him. When my daughter finally decided she was ready to ride a bike we put her on the sidewalk, next to grass, so if she fell she would fall on grass...and I would be on the other side if she fell the other way. She was about 7 or 8.

We let ours have the training wheels on until they asked to have them off.

But...first we loosened them gradually as they became more adept at riding. So while the tw were there, they were not keeping them totally upright. They were letting them lean more and more to either side. We did this over a few weeks so mentally the kid was more comfortable. ;-)

Then one day dad just took them off and the kid was able to ride with little help in one lesson.

My youngest dh was too lazy to put the tw back on for him and he got frustrated over it. I learned our method with the first two was much smoother, easier, and no crashes.

I have the perfect way to teach a child to ride a 2-wheeler. But it does involve training wheels. First require your child to ride for at least 10 minutes each day(give him a great incentive to make it easier and more fun). Second explain to him the importance of positive talk ("I can do it" is a magic phrase).
And third as he becomes more comfortable with the training wheels start to bend them up so the bike wobbles more. He will start learning how to balance the bike a little at a time instead of going cold turkey.
As for you. Be patient and enjoy the role of cheerleader!

We are just moving to San Antonio this spring when my husband goes again to Iraq but we taught my then 5 yo by waiting until fall in Maryland when he would be wearing jacket and jeans and also bought him a kit that contained kneepads, elbowpads, gloves, etc. He thought it was so cool using all the safety "gear" and we even thought he might want to compare his falls w/o gear to the falls w/ gear. Of course, you'll always want them to wear their helmets. They don't hurt their little hands as much if they wear the fingerless safety gloves. After a couple of tries, your son may surprise you with not wanting to use them anymore. We still have to work on starting but he has got stopping, turning, and going in the same direction down now at 6. It only took a couple of times - but he had been riding with training wheels since he was 4 - let them get super comfortable for at least 6 mo -1 yr on training wheels before making the switch. That's just what worked for us.

Our 7 YO daughter won't ride a bike yet either. One of my friends suggested getting her a scooter (a Razor), so she would get the idea of how to balance. I am not a big scooter fan, but she wears her helmet every time she rides it. I am confident she will be riding her bike this summer.

Go and buy training wheels for him with him...then start by riding his bike on grass...then after only 30 min..each day end in a possitive note ...funny storys about how you learned how to ride or maybe out for a burger...good luck!
We have taught our 3 boys and friends of thiers this way!! :)

Our son sounds a lot like your son. He refused to get on the bike for months and months. (He had a couple of falls and it would take forever for him to try again.) My advice is to back off and let your son decide when he is ready. I would offer to let my son ride every few weeks and he would always say no in favor of his scooter. Then one morning he woke up and told me that he had had a dream where he was riding his bike and he wanted to try. By the end of that day he was riding around all over the place. He has had a couple of pretty serious falls since then, but he has enough confidence to get back on the bike :)

Good luck to you and your son!

C.

Put some training wheels on that bike and stay beside him when he rides. It won't take all that long and it will be well worth the price of the wheels. Check around at school or church and you just might be able to pick up some used ones.

give that baby some training wheels... that makes the most sense... he's just not ready

WOW...are your son and my son related? Our son took a spill on his bike nearly 2 years ago and his bike sits rusting till this day! He is also afraid to try new things and it seems like he is a perfectionist and does not want to do anything unless he knows he will be good at it. So now I am wondering, is this a phase that boys this age go through?

I don't know what will help him get back on? We plan on buying a new bike when he turns 8 next month, and we keep hoping that he will get over the fears that he has.

He also won't play any sports even though he is ambidextrous and very athletic...again, afraid to try something new???

Please let me know what suggestions you receive as I would love to try ANYTHING!!

Good luck!

I have to respectfully say "forget the training wheels they are a total waste, it's all about balance" is bosch. Riding a bike safely is like driving a car. It's not just balance, it is balance and watching where you are going, and looking up not looking at your feet, and seeing if a car is coming, and steering and all these things at one time thisis called multitasking in the grown up world... The way my daughter learned to ride a bike was - I didn't take the trainers off at all, I needed her to keep up with my run, so she had the training wheels on for about 6 months - and could focus on every other aspect of bike riding without focusing on balance (which is obviously important). Then she was at her cousins house and saw a bike without trainers, and just picked it up and rode it - she had all the skill and so was not even slightly worried. SO I vote for put the trainers back on and get him supremely comfortable riding then take them off.

Good luck

Hi -

I'm sure you thought of this or it was already recommended, but get him a set of training wheels and once he sees that the bike stands up on it's own that will help him be confident enought to give it another go!

Good luck!