Learning Differences - Reading,MA

When my oldest was 3 he had a preschool eval that was devestating. They said he was behind in all the areas you mention with Mikayla, as well as others. Of course we were terribly worried. Our pediatrician was very reassuring. He felt that sometimes people look for things that are below average,and point them out like it is a big deal but by definition 50% of kids are below average. That is what an average is. We practiced a few things, but for the most part continued as we had, Ryan was participating in the same types of activities as Mikayla (Swimming instead of dance) and Preschool, and playdates. The end result is that he is now a perfectly normal 12 year old, who gets straight A's in school, participates in sports and band. All is well. Now he may never be a professional athlete, but the odds of that were low anyway.
Good luck to you with Mikayla. She sounds like a terrific kid, and you sound like a wonderful, caring mom.

Hi S.,

Mikayla sounds a lot like my son Ricky... He's in 1st grade now. We started noticing his learning differences when he was in pre-school. He would icolate himself and was easily influenced by the other children. They would tell him to climb on top of the desk or run around and he would do it so they would play with him. His speech was severly delayed, and he also had trouble with his pencil grip and cuting.

The best advice I can give you is focus on the speech! That is the most important thing you can do. Speech affects so much more than you would imagine with children. #1 her "immaturaty" could be coming from speech... imagine not being able to articulate your needs or feelings. Ricky would become easily frustrated and act out (still does to an extent, our battle with speech issues is far from over, but much improved!) it was explained to me early on this could be because of speech... low and behold the more his speech improves, the more his behavior improves.

Speech also affects social interaction. Children as young as his preschool class would pick on Ricky for how he talked. This has made building his social skills very difficult.

Ricky is also more than a year behind in reading. Surprisingly, to me, the reading, and speech teachers have told me this is due to his speech as well. But if you think about it, how do you explain to a kid that V makes a vvvvvvvvv sound when he makes a B sound (Rickys "volcano" sounds more like "bolcano")

Lastly, I'd like to give you hope. As far as my case goes, with OT and practice, the grip and cuting were easily fixed. Correct her at home, do the OT excersises you should be fine. But don't ignore that speech!!!! Fix the speech and the rest will follow...

Good Luck!
A. Jimenez
____@____.com

Hi, I know it can be a lot, I teach special education in a high school. My thoughts on this are that the earlier the intervention the better. Everyone is on the same page more easily and whatever "red flags" your daughter has will be dealt with sooner. Being "labeled" is a fat of life--she is already "a girl" which comes with expectations etc. Figuring out how your daughter learns now-- what her strengths and weaknesses are--will make teaching her and avoiding frustration on everyone's part easier.

Best of luck to you and your family

I would seek 2nd and 3rd opinions.

My son's pediatrician said she was "concerned" for my son when he was in his 2's because he couldn't say 30 words. I laughed. I found that stupid. Every child develops differently and at their own pace. I refused any type of help (early intervention) and all of a sudden (when my son was ready) words started to flow. While he isn't speaking super clear, he's much better than he was. I also know that the reason for my son's "slow speech start" was because he doesn't go to daycare and he stays home with me for most of the day.

My point is, YOU know best. As her mother you have your own set of motherly instincts that should override any doctor's advice. If you feel your daughter isn't behind in motor skills, then leave it alone. If you agree with the doctor then I would seek out more opinions.

Every child develops at their own rate. I think we've (doctors, psychologists, schools) gotten away from that notion and have started to place kids in a "bracket" they need to develop by or we're quick to place them in the "slow" category.

You are your daughter's best advocate....if you feel she's fine, then she probably is. Again...if you truly feel there are developmental problems then take action. I say, without hesitation, seek more opinions. I know I would.

Good luck with everything. :)

http://www.daniellewrites.webs.com

It sounds like your daughter is a prime candidate for early intervention. ALthough she is already in preschool, you should have her screened by the local public school, especially if they offer an integrated preschool. These programs open the door for a wide variety of interventions. Although you are worried she'll be "labeled" that is often the only way to receive needed services. As a special education teacher, it is frustrating to deal with parents who are afraid of interventions because they don't want their child labeled, only to return in three years because the problem has gotten exponentially worse. That is to say, the earlier you deal with the issues, the MUCH better the outcome. If there were a medication to help your sick child, wouldn't you give it to her regardless of the name of her illness? It is the same principle. Besides, if the deficiencies are able to be remedied, then the label can always be dropped later. But it is really important to come to terms with the fact that often these things don't miraculously disappear without outside help of some kind.

Don't be devastated. You'd be surprised at the number of kids who receive speech or OT early on. It's just a little push to help them catch up to their peers before the more difficult curriculum years of school begin.

My oldest daughter was diagnosed with Autism late after several evals which were fairly useless (despite her having almost no language and other severe problems). My middle one, who seemed perfectly fine compared to the older, was hit in Kindergarten with such a harsh eval that she sounded (from the write-ups) like she should be a speechless, low-IQ cripple. This was a huge surprise for us, considering her comparison to her older sister. The staff at her school however were all wonderful, and after one year of PT, two years of OT, and three of speech, she is leaving her IEP days behind and is totally caught up with everyone else (and ahead in a great many areas).

So I would say: don't worry. In our district, my daughter was in the regular classroom and pulled out (with one or two other children, usually) for small periods of time during the week to go to therapy; the therapists also came to the room to work with all the children once a week. She loved going to therapy (was great fun to her -- was sad when she couldn't go anymore!) and she loves school in general, even when she has trouble with some concepts (rare these days). She was always a happy child and has remained so throughout her therapies -- several teachers have commented on this!

She is now either completely caught up with her peers or ahead in all areas. Maybe she was just developing at her own pace, but I am glad that she had the opportunity to be helped along in catching up while the curriculum was still easy to understand and the other kids too young to really notice or care.

You should definitely contact your school district about integrated preschool. If she qualifies (which it sounds like she will), then she can go there, and both the preschool and in-school therapy costs will be covered by the school district (a bonus!). Then she will not only have the opportunity to catch up, but will also be familiar with other kids going into kindergarten, and maybe the school itself (if they have an onsite integrated preschool at the elementary school in your district -- they do in ours).

I wish my daughter had been diagnosed in time to do this; she would have caught up much sooner (in kindergarten she was very shy and quiet and had trouble making friends). The irony in our case was that we couldn't afford preschool, where her problems likely would have been noticed sooner. Which would have allowed her to go to the integrated preschool for free. Yeesh.

Good luck! Don't be worried; your daughter is still the same, no "label" will change her, and she will likely grow out of the need for help before you know it. The school should have no vested interest in keeping her in the sped system so don't worry about labeling (and at least in my daughter's case, none of the other kids ever treated her differently). If anything, the school will want to make sure she catches up in time to take the MCAS in third grade so their scores aren't hurt. :)

We are going through an evaluation for special education for my daughter who is 9 and in 4th grade. I am convincved she has dyslexia but has been smart enough to work around it until the middle of 3rd grade. To my great surprise, the schools do not care what her diagnosis is, since their only legal responsibility is to see if she qualifies for any special needs assistance. I am fairly convinced they will find she needs help and put her on an Individual Education Plan. We may still go outside the school and have her tested on our own, but the school said they would review any paperwork we submit on her, but they do not have to accept outside diagnosis. Likewise, there is an arbitration process in case we disagree with the schools assessment. KEEP A DETAILED BINDER with all the information you will be gathering from various sources, it will not only help you keep track of important information but there is a whole new alphabet-soup-of-abbreviations (IEP, CST, dibble,etc.) that the professionals start throwing around and it gets confusing. My daughter is happy and healthy, is good at many physical things but cannot learn via reading alone (and in higher grades all subjects require a lot of reading). I was depressed at first but have taken the view that with the strengths she does have she will find a path in life and will work around her weaknesses. Of course we will help her all we can and I am fighting for her (the principal initially brushed off my concerns that her issues were "age appropriate"). It might also help to get in touch with other parents of similar diagnosis. I know adults with dyslexia and their success in life has helped me become more positive. Wishing you all the best. Cato

After years of working with children/parents in PT, my best advice is to try not to worry. Take each day/week as it comes and know that with this kind of early intervention your daughter is likely to catch up in all the areas that she needs to in order to fit in perfectly with the other children. If not by kindergarten then soon after. Enjoy all the wonderful things that continue to make her special and perhaps find little ways to fit opportunites for more speaking on her part and exploration of gross/fine motor skills with you and your family. Some things she could do with your mom since she already spends time with her and I'm sure your mom would like to feel like she is "helping" as well. Ask you OT for things you guys can do together and they will be happy to supply you with great ideas.
Sometimes a lack of "maturity" is simply that you have naturally done many things for her instead of letting her grow into doing them for herself, since she is an only child and you have the time. Begin to look at the rhythym of your days together and find little ways to give her some independence. Does she get herself dressed? Brush her hair/teeth? does she choose her own outfits (with guidance for weather)? Does she climb in and out of the car/car seat and buckle/unbuckle herself? Does she do some of the washing of herself in the tub/shower? Can she put on her own coat and shoes? does she help do some chores like clearing her place at the table, setting the table, loading her items int he dishwasher?does she "help" you cook with mixing or measuring, buttering pans, using a dull knife to cut bananas up? These are all things that you could begin (if you haven't already) to have her do with you- not only for her fine motor and gross motor skills, but to spend time together and for her to feel like she is contributing and having a more mature part in the family. In this way she also gains self-assurance which will show in other areas. working side by side also lends itself well to casual conversation, so if she is pretty quiet, you may fine you both chat more together while making cookies- especially if you initiate the conversation and make it fun and even silly.
Most of all don't worry. She is still your sunny, happy child and she is perfect in her own way. You are just taking steps to help her be as successful as possible going forward in life. Hang in there!

How old is she? I am an early childhood major. I am still learning. I actually am taking a course in exceptional children. I am not sure what they are doing with her, but nowadays we do not exclude any child with any disability. She would be included in genreal education class. She may or may not need extra help in certain areas. Who are u worried about labeling her. Friends and family? My daughter is in kindegarden and none of the students know if another child has a disability. At least you are involved in early interventions! Good for you. Just stay involved. She seems plenty involved in some great activites. I work with a wellness company and realize this has a lot to do with some disabilities. We are exposed to many toxic chemicals and carcinognes. It is scary. If I can help and provide any insight let me know!

M. - SAHM and WAHM and lovin it!

http://www.WorkingGreenMoms.com

The only thing that REALLY stands out to me in your request is your fear of her being "labeled" which, as a social worker, you KNOW happens more often than it should.

As someone who has also worked in social work/mental health/etc... I can say with certainty that despite the guidelines written out in our text books, real life can be entirely subjective. I mean, so what, she doesn't cut paper as well as her peers? Maybe that's more dependant on the lack of paper cutting craft projects at home, and less on her actually "ability to learn how."

If you, as her mother, see her as a happy, well adjusted child who gets along well in her life...I wouldn't worry so much.

My son is nearly 20 months and barely says a couple of words. According to the books I SHOULD be worried, but really I'm not. My son has always excelled in the physcial areas, and has exceptional "figuring it out" skills. He understand many complicated directions we give him, and has picked up on the sign language I've taught him quite well. In fact, he's picking up on it with lightening speed these days!! Maybe he's not delayed as much as he simply doesn't NEED to speak because his needs are met without it? Maybe that's my fault for being so good at anticipating? lol

Not that I'm not anxious to HEAR him speak. I mean REALLY speak...not just meow at the cat or call everything he doesn't want to touch "hot." But am I WORRIED about him? Nah. I suspect one day he'll start jabbering so much I'll miss these non-speaking days!

So I wouldn't be too worried if I were you. A little maternal concern is always appropriate, but you have taken the steps to get her some OT and I guarantee that she'll catch on quick when she starts school. They always do!

How old is Mikayla? I wouldn't worry about her being "labeled". Honestly, those labels can really help her. I wish I could get my daughter "labeled" because then by law the schools HAVE to do certain things to help her. Right now we don't have any sort of IEP. Just a recommendation of what should be done for her. My daughter is 7 and has a lot of trouble with reading. She's a mystery to the whole school. She's too smart for her own good really. She's got everything in place to be able to do what she should be doing, but yet for some reason she just can't get it. If funding gets cut at her school though the special help she has in place can be taken away in a heartbeat because she scores too high on all of their testing. If they suddenly get an influx of children in her school who do have an IEP in place that require some of the services she is currently getting to take advantage of, then all of a sudden it will just stop. So honestly, don't worry so much about the "label". It's there to help you get what needs to be done. My oldest daughter (age 10) was in birth to three from the time she was 17 months old for a speech delay. She transitioned from birth to three into the school system and continued receiving speech up until she was halfway through Kindergarten. Now she's considered an intellectually gifted child. So see, I had two ends of the spectrum. My second child did not require any sort of birth to three services. She did things early. Now she's in school and problems are popping up. My oldest had a little trouble in the beginning and now she's off the charts. So the most important thing you can do is focus on the positives and set goals that you want to reach with her. Continue advocating for her and getting the services you feel she will most greatly benefit from and try not to worry too much about labels. Knowing what's going on and having a label really makes it so much easier to address the problem.

M.

Continue with OT speech, etc. My son has pdd,nos and asperger's, also dyspraxia (clumsiness), graphomotor problems (handwriting issues due to motor skills) It's hard work to be a child's advocate. Look for services to support you with school and spec. ed. services. Try not to be put off by schools opinions seek support from developmental services early childhood developmetal services and bring someone with you to school meetings and seek neurological testing early. Look into Physicl therapy and be sure to watch for self-esteem and depression issues as well. I'm sure this puts more on your plate but handle each issue and be sure to keep records or calls to professionals and school staff. an educational advocate is also recomment mom who's been there your concerns are valid and doubt and second guessing yourself is not helping you or your daughter lots of love and encourangement are needed ask for assistive technology typing try computer games. grip balls strength exercises. write down your thoughts and follow through child developmental agencies will help you be strong and love her no matter what