E.M.
skip the dryer sheets (for your clothes too) - they're full of chemicals.
use dryer balls (the seen on TV kind but they're sold all over now). they work great for softening and to prevent static in the dryer. although for static, they won' work on synthetics. I just pull out the dri-weave type stuff and hang it up - it's dry in less than 10 minutes here in CO without the dryer anyway!
also, do a double rinse - that not so soft feeling is likely soap residue. try cutting the amount of detergent by 1/3 for a month and see if things still get clean - they probably will. you need to give it a month or so because the first 2-3 loads there will still be enough soap in the fabrics that you won't know if you're using enough. try cutting it again after that first month. If you're on Denver Water for your water supply, you should be able to go to one third to one half of the recommended detergent amount because our water is so soft.
lastly, use vinegar as a fabric softener. put it wherever you would put liquid fabric softener. I promise your clothes won't smell when they're done. the vinegar not only provides softening but also deodorizing.
I'll also second the baking soda.
also, don't worry too much about the towels - I hate super fluffy towels - seems like they don't actually do their job (probably because fabric softener chemicals keep them from being absorbent).
good luck.