Kindergartner Doesn't Want to Go to School...

This is going to be a little strong.

You and your attitude are the most important influence on your child. Will be for a very long time.

The fact that YOU do not feel ......You are setting the tone for your son. He is in tuned to your reluctance, to you projecting... IF you want to change HIS perceptions and security, and love of school, YOU are the one that needs to be on board.

If you feel like HE is not ready for school, because of his maturity, emotional needs...then you could homeschool him. But stop and think, why is it everyone else's children are happy and able to make kindergarten work? Attitude. Heck if I could have kept our daughter home forever, I would have loved too, but she was ready. I could never have held her back.

You do not believe in all day school, your son was in an accident, you changed schools, he has anxieties... What he needs is stability and he needs to know his mom believes in the choices that are being made 100% of the time. Get on this horse, or get off, but whatever you do, leave you attitude for your husband in private, and act strong for your child.

I am sending you strength.

You panicked and moved him? Maybe he saw/felt your panic and is mirroring it.

i think your feelings are creating this situation. first kindergarten was too big and scary to go all day so you took him to a different school than his siblings. then kindergarten was too big and scary because he got hurt, so you moved him. i know it's breaking your heart, but i think it's time for some tough love. and start being constantly aware of your tone, your words, and even your posture, when dealing with the subject of "school". somehow you've convinced him it's evil. he honestly would have been just fine. there is no reason to have put him through all of this.

i get why volunteering at the school isn't allowed for a certain period- honestly it sounds like your situation is probably the reason for it. and i am sure after some time there will be no issue with you visiting. but parents cause distractions, and the first few weeks are crucial for the child to get used to the environment and accept their teacher's authority. that won't happen with anxious parents hanging around trying to "help".

I'm going to respond like some of the other posters. It's hard to hear, but it sounds like you're creating this situation with your concerns, fears, reactions, etc. Your son is able to pick up on your sentiment -- even if you haven't said it out loud -- that he wasn't ready for a full day, or that it would be too much for a child his age. So he's acting like it's too much. The best way to help him feel better about kindergarten is to start acting like it's a good choice for him and your family. When you drop him off do you give him extra hugs and tell him it's going to be OK and that you'll see him soon? When he gets home from school to you immediately tell him how much you missed him and ask if he was OK today? If yes, you're telling him that he's supposed to be miserable. Even if it's not that obvious, you've got to stop letting your own insecurities with the situation affect your son.

Talk instead about how awesome the new school is, and how much fun he must be having, he'll learn that he's supposed to enjoy it. Help him get excited about school. What's his favorite activity? Talk about it a lot. Who does he play with? Invite them over.

You don't have to turn into a cheerleader, but please realize that your emotions will be mirrored in your son. He's not crying because a full day kindergarten at a private school is horrible. He's crying because he doesn't know not to.

He has found you button (fear of him being overwhelmed) and is pushing it.

Center yourself mom. If he says nothing bad is happening and you believe the teacher then act accordingly. He is old enough to be in school. He needs friends to come over after school. He needs someone to look forward to seeing in school. He will have a hard time getting past this moment without your help.
You need to treat school as casually as you can. Even if you are scared to death inside. You need to do something fun after school and invite a friend to be there too. Every week. He will get the hang of it. No puppy eyes as he goes out the door. See ya! And gone. Good luck!

Just curious... why do you feel that a 7 hour day is too long?

How hurt on the playground did he get? Did he fall off the slide and break his arm, or did he fall and skin his knee?

Was this injury at the "hands" of another child, or was it just something that happened while he was playing?

I think, as the first poster suggested, that maybe he is reacting to your concern, and thinks (subconsciously) that there is something "bad" about school......

However, some kids are just not ready or have anxiety issues with school..... but in some way, he may be picking up on your anxiety, and your concern is feeding that..... or... he just prefers being at home without all the hustle and bustle of dealing with school and all the kids.....

Lots of possibilities....

Why did you move him in the first place? Kids can and DO get hurt on the playground, it's a fact of life. Unless there were extreme circumstances (dangerous equipment, lack of supervision) I don't see why you would panic and switch schools.
It also sounds like he's picking up on your worry and anxiety. I don't know why you think full day is too long for him (I know plenty of kids who have been in full time daycare since they were infants and they are happy, well adjusted kids) but he should certainly be able to handle a half day. My kids also went to preschool the same hours as your kids and they had no trouble adjusting to kindergarten.
I think you need to start focusing on the positive, talk about school with enthusiasm and play down the sadness:
Mommy I was sad today, I missed you.
Oh that's too bad sweetie (hug) but can you tell me about something fun you did, or something new you learned?
In addition to that, let him invite some buddies over for play dates. Spending time with kids outside of school helps build friendships, which will also make him happier and more confident in school.

Couple thoughts:
•Stay the course
•Check what you're projecting. Kindergartners will absorb ALL & ANY of moms anxiety
•If you switched his schools because of similar reaction to school, it entirely possible that in his 5 year old mind, Kindergarten CAN become a faint memory!

Soooo...talk up school, talk up the teacher, the fun, his accomplishments! Maybe sit him down and explain school is here to stay and you WANT him to go and succeed! Work with the teacher and hold the line!

Good luck! It will get better.
And remember-he will sense your uncertainty like a shark smells blood in the water!

Similar to Laurie A., I would look at all angles of this situation.

I wish we had homeschooled from the get-go . . . I think it would have been in the best interests of both my sons for different reasons.

That being said, you can't ride two horses with one butt. :P If you're going to have him in school you need to be confident and secure about it. There are positives and negatives to any situation, including homeschooling. That's a good lesson for him. And you.

Hang in there mom . . . it's so tough that we have Mama's Intuition, but we have it for a reason. If there's reason to make a change down the road, you'll know. But I would explore it away from his earshot.

Good luck.

PS: I whole-heartedly agree with you that that is too many hours in kinder.

Put on a happy face and off he goes. School is non-negotiable. He will adjust. Personally, I would not have pulled him from the first school, but that is me. I am sure he gets very tired.

You got some interesting answers. I didn't read all of them, but I wanted to write you. I have a 4.5 year old and he has almost no separation anxiety. I worked 4 days a week until he was 1.5 and since then I've worked full-time 40 hours. It breaks my heart missing him, not as much as it used to, but some. You guys will both adjust. I think you should reassure him as much as you can. I would say, I wish I could be with you too, but all kids go to school and I have to do ............(whatever you might have going on). You could say you have to bake, clean, work, go to the store, etc. If he knows you are busy and you are totally fine with him in school (even if it's hard), he might become more okay with it. You probably have done this. I just wanted to stress that. I think my son has learned that when I'm away, I'm doing it to make $ which we need. Eventually, your son will learn that education is important. Maybe you can play it up and talk to him about all the exciting things he can become if he goes to school and it all starts with kindergarten. Tell him this is an important year and ask what he's learning. As you've said you ask him about his day. (Not trying to say you don't. Maybe just keep doing what your doing.) I wish you the best!

ANY SCHOOL THAT WILL NOT ALLOW A PARENT ON CAMPUS AND IN THE CLASSROOM AT ANY TIME IS NOT A SCHOOL THAT MY CHILD WILL BE ATTENDING. Okay pissiness done, something IS going on at the school I would be investigating big time.

And I can agree that the suggestion of your panic feeding him/his is part of the issue as well, but my bigger issue is you not being allowed in the classroom.

my DD went half day and loved every minute of it. my DS goes full day and does not love it.. 7 hours 5 days a week is too long too much for a 5 year old..

sorry to say but he is going to have to go.. you cant move him back..

he needs to be in school to learn to be assertive to ask for what he wants and to learn all the things he will need for first grade..