Kindergarten or Redshirt?

I think holding kids back before they even get a chance to prove they can or cannot do something seems wrong. I think letting him go and see how he does would be the thing I would do. I wouldn't hold him back. Then he'll be older and eventually bigger than anyone else in his class. He'll also be 18 as a junior in high school and what if he decides to drop out at 18....

Retired k-1 teacher with a Sept 1 birthday. I also had kids in my class with Aug and Sept birthdays.

My opinion is that emotional readiness, especially in boys is critical in boys, even if they are academically ready. It is better to be on top a year later than struggle through--especially when you hear about so much bulling in schools.

I remember the boys that started early in my classes, they struggled and struggled, even if they could do the academic work but in finding friends. Also their handwriting was not up to the standard for the level that it needed to be--not their fault, just physical readiness. They also had trouble sitting for the time needed for the lessons--again not their fault, just physical readiness.

I also remember my own struggles of isolation that did not resolve until junior high, only because the academics became more important than my school mates.

I recommend finding an independent pre-k school with academics.

This is just my opinion, as I'm not in education and my son is not kindergarten age yet, but I think too many kids are being held back these days. If he is academically ready and can follow directions and sit still when he's supposed to, I think he's going to be fine. You can always have him repeat kindergarten if necessary, but I think you should give him the chance.

Spend the next three months getting excited about it, and that will help him get excited too. Work extra hard over the summer to set up playdates and provide him with as many social opportunities as possible. If his preschool teacher says he is ready, she knows him better than the teacher and principal at the new school.

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao

My daughter is turning 5 next month, and is graduating from Kindergarten! I felt like she was "immature," however in talking with her teacher, the teacher told me that she is just as mature as any other child in Kinder this year... so, we're moving on to first grade. I should add that I did not start out the year intending to put her in Kinder. She came in knowing how to add, subtract and read, so the pre-K teacher moved her up in the first few weeks. I was very concerned about it, but she has been fine! Then I spent the next 6 months thinking I'd have her repeat Kinder, but now it looks like she'd be bored doing that, so... onward and upward! =)

Honestly, I think this latest trend to hold kids (especially boys) back in Kindergarten is really weird. It seems like people are unable to cut the apron strings, or maybe they don't have faith in their kids' abilities, or...? I think any child who is able to sit still, listen to the teacher, follow directions, and comprehend the alphabet and numbers really ought to be in Kindergarten. If it's a resounding failure (not likely!), then he can repeat the year! No big deal. But why sell him short just because other people don't believe in their own kids' abilities? It seems like your son is as ready as he's going to get. Put him in and see what happens! =)

Kindergarten.

Go to www.wrightslaw.com, scroll down the left and click on "Retention" and you will see that holding kids back is a bad thing.

If he is academically on target, you don't have to worry so much about what he could loose if he has a learning problem, but you do have to worry about what will happen to him when he is in High School.

Kids who are older than most of their classmates are more likely to use drugs, drop out, and have contact with the juvinile justice system. THAT is the data you need to think long and hard about before you hold him back. He is old enough, and he is ready, they set cut offs for a reason, don't second guess them. Send him.

M.

Edit: I meet people every single year in my line of work who not only regret holding thier child back, they are DEVISTATED when they learn that they cause their child such a terrible life long problem. As an educational advocate for special needs kids, I usually meet Mom and Dad when the child is between 14 an 16. Usually, a boy, who was held back because he was needed to "mature." Mom and Dad noticed some speech issues, but were told that they would get better all by themselves. This young man usually starts having trouble in 1st grade with reading, and Mom and Dad say something about it being a problem, and they are told he is not too far behind his peers, who all happen to be one year younger than he is, but the school just wont take that into consideration.

He struggles, through second and third grade, gets a little extra help which the teacher says is sucessful, and they would see it if he only tried a little harder.

He fails the state reading assessment in 3rd grade. They discuss holding him back again, and his parents agree. The next year, when he fails the reading assessment again, it is not quite as bad, so they promote him and give him some extra help, which means that they cut back on what he is learning, and he really only learns half of what every other kid does that year. By this point it really does not matter much what they do, his window of opportuniy to learn reading without great difficulty has long closed. (by age 9) He continues to struggle, and it is all because he is not motivated.

Fast forward to getting his learners permit for driving, he can't sign his name, and he struggled to read the exam on his own, and it took three trys to pass it. His grades have been C's and D's, still a "motivation" issue, because he spends as much time in the principals office as he does the classroom. When the school suggests to this boy that he consider "vocational" training, his parents panic, and call me after the school refuses to test him to see if he is dyslexic (always the condition that is most palitable to parents at first glance.) I cannot tell you how often I see this boy and his parents. Once tested, he has an obvious processing issue and had he just gone to Kindergarten on time, would have been a glaring gap between his level and his same aged peers, and motivation would never have been questioned. By this point, he is reading at a 3.5 year level or worse, he has very little knowledge of science, history, or language at all. His math skills are higher, because he hangs in with that until they hit word problems, and then his "motivation" causes him to fail in that too. His IQ is usually quite good, 110 to 120, but he is now in the fight of his life to learn all that he has missed. It seldom happens at all.

The idea that no child is harmed by being held back is HUGE bunk. It happens all the time.

Does your son want to go? Is he excited to go? If he is and you think he's ready, then send him. But if he doesn't seem excited and you are unsure don't send him. If its 1/2 day I'm sure he'll be fine...

O.k. I know you think he's going to be devisated as I did with my son but here's the real deal with most of us mom's not liking the taste of this coming out of my mouth but we want them to go forward so much that we sometimes don't take the time to back off and take a real look at what others are seeing. Don't be upset with me I too have two boys that are first off one born Aug 17 the other Sept 7. Now here's my story and advise:

The Aug baby I pushed to go into kindergarten on time and he was a developmental delay child from not hearing for 2 years got tubes went to special ed prek age 3 and 4. He made leaps and bounds I thought be was ready I mean hey, he'd been going to prek 2 yrs already. Wrong! I made a big error on that judgment call. Ended up he with a teacher that knew him ahead of time due to the fact he already went to that school and he she needed to retire. She made his life a nightmare as well other students yelling at them. I ended up withdrawing him since the law states you don't have to be enrolled in school home or not until age 6 this was the advise of 2 doctors I took him to after his 5 months with this teacher. I put him back into prek at a church and guess what?...he was fine he was happier, he bloomed. Yes being mature enough to handle a witch teacher helps.

The second child I tried to push the school to make a special arraignment and have him tested the Sept 7 baby. Well they can't in public you have to pay for it and I didn't have the money. Well, he went to prek was a fast learned so the teachers their made up extra things for him to do. You have to remember they learning didn't things in kindergarten then prek yes the ABC's but also it's structure is different in learning to read and sight words and if a child has a jump on it great! I didn't everything I could once I got him legal in kindergarten to move him up...well, here's reality kindergarten is different and having to wait was the best thing for both my boys.

It's far better to be the big fish then the little fish in the pond. This is what one doctor told me having 2 boys himself. he said my son could always move ahead and I could petition it later in another grade or when he's in high school many graduation ahead of the class months earlier. He said to me to look beyond my reason's and look at him to be successful and what that feels like and not be the kid in the class having a hard time or worse yet me having to tell him how it's ok in 3rd grade to repeat it and it will be a great experience.

I'm glad I took the Aug baby out and let him go back to kindergarten the following year. He's now going into 4th grade this year he past his CRCT's in reading with above average, is proud and doesn't struggle in school with his maturity in no manner. I wish I never had him go the first time and experience hell.

I'm glad the Sept baby was moved ahead and he's also successful he's now going into 1st grade and is ahead of all his work. he however needs help writing could be a bit easier on the eyes to read.

Sorry so long but I wanted to you know and understand it's a private choice as to what you do but I have been there, it's hard to worry that you are making an error and want the best for your child. I personally feel I have 3 boys my sister 4 it's not a mistake to wait you can always move him up if he's really Harvard material. It's however hard to kiss the mental wounds when a child isn't ready and doesn't have a big foot forward. It's hard to judge your own child since well, all of us mom's usually don't look at some of the negative things are kids would have to face. Emotionally and socially well I say let him be the big fish there's no better feeling so wait is my vote.

I was the not so big of a fish when I was in elementary I can still feel the pain of it to this day and wish my mother put me in prek and also waited to put me in kindergarten I wasn't ready. It was always an emotional struggle with the other kids and socially I wasn't ready I stayed to myself for years, it's even hard now to make friends I have to push myself and put myself out there.

My blessings to you on whatever you choose. a mother willing to seek opinions and think about what she's going to do to help her child is a wonderful mother indeed.

My son turned 5 in September of 08. He went to kindergarten and did fine. Academically he was fine, but a little socially immature. His teacher and I thought he had trouble relating to the other kids in the class, but he was never worried about it and was happy with his friends and his class. He did tend to gravitate towards the "bad" kids and was a bit of a follower- but that could just be his personality. At the end of the year he was exactly in the same position as ever other child in the class and his teacher recommended he go on the first grade.

This year we moved to a new state and when I went to register him for 1st grade they would not accept his "transcripts" because they required that he be 6 before the start of school (which he would not turn 6 until a month later) or transferring from a public school. He attended a private kindergarten. SO rather than put up a big fight I just sent him to Kindergarten again.

He has done great this year. Last year I felt like he was getting by, but not learning as much. This year, he grasps all concepts- reads perfectly and is very social with his classmates. He is one of the older children in the class and feels like more of a leader than a follower. He likes being older and has a chance to be more friendly because he is academically ahead.

I really had no choice...but I would have been very comfortable with him going on to first grade rather than repeating kindergarten. I think you should send him to kindergarten.

Also my best friend was born in November...she started school a year behind me, though she could has been in my grade. She has always related more with the grade above and always felt like she should have been in my grade. (and resented her mom for holding her back )

Our oldest son is in a similar situation. Turned 5 Aug 9 and was not ready emotionally for a larger class. We decided to wait and feel really good about our decision. He has made tremendous strides in the last year emotionally and socially, so don't think your son won't also. They are growing at a tremendous rate right now. My son is actually excited about going to school, was open and available (emotionally) to seeing a classroom and visiting the playground. I'm glad we waited.

What is the rush to get him into kindergarden? Boys just lag behind. Have you talked to other parents who either held the kid back or went ahead? Have you talked to adults the were not held back? I did and was surprised at the answers. Also, about 2+ years ago the NYT did a lengthy piece on redshirting that is worth digging up and reading. It made good points. Do a bit more research and take a good look at your own kiddo and make the decision that is right for him.

Good luck.

My son is turning 5 in Oct. He starts in Sept. sounds like your son is ready.

Start him. Our son's birthday is August 29th and we started him WAY back then. So he was really just 4 for a couple of weeks of kindergarten.

He did just fine and is now a college sophomore. I think the only "issue" we had was when all of his friends started driving, sometimes a whole year before he could.

You will never be sorry if you wait a year!! My son's birthday is August 23rd...I sent him to preschool for one more year (luckily our preschool had a kindergarten enrichment program - which offered a bit more "challenge" than preschool) - So then he started kindergarten just after turning 6. He is going into 3rd grade next year - he is confident, doing extremely well in reading and math ....likes school. My vote would be to wait if you can!

We are in the exact same position - our oldest son has a mid- August birthday. He is only 2.5 right now so we have a while to decide, but are already thinking that he will wait until he turns 6 to go to kindergarten. My husband and I are both teachers (middle and high school) and could go through our lists of kids and tell you which boys had late summer birthdays based on their grades and behavior. By the time they are 12-13, the youngest boys are smaller physically and for the most part struggle more academically. They are absolutely not as mature as the older boys in the same grade. The top 5 boys from my classes were always the ones who had birthdays in the fall or early winter.

It does also make a big difference for high school sports - although you have no way of knowing now if that will be a factor or not. All of the counselors that my husband works with at his high school recommend redshirting boys born in August without hesitation .

It is also much easier to have your son skip a grade later if necessary than it is to hold him back in elementary school. You are not holding him back by not starting kindergarten this year and I absolutely disagree that he would be MORE likely to be involved with drugs and gangs if you wait a year. I think the added maturity will help him to be a leader and give him better decision making skills.

It is just a fact of life that boys mature later physically and emotionally than girls do. I don't know anyone who regrets waiting the extra year.

Every child is different, so if you think your son is ready, then you can send him.

Our oldest son has a birthday in July and we started him right after he turned 5. He was "ready" for school and Kindergarten went great. But then as the work got more difficult and more was expected of him (more independent working, organizational skills, social skills, etc.), that is where he started struggling. He's now finishing 3rd grade and we wish we would have held him back. It's a struggle for him, being the youngest in his class. Our middle son has a birthday in October, so he was almost 6 before he started school. He's just finished 1st grade and we can already tell how much easier things have been for him.

Getting held back is hard for kids. They are going to see their friends moving on, while they are not. I wouldn't recommend putting him in just to see "how things go". I would only send him if you're sure.

Best of luck!

I would say without a doubt, RED SHIRT ! I have two boys who were born in the later part of summer, my oldest is now almost eleven, and the second will be five August 18th. My older son was more than academically ready, as well, but we decided to wait, and it is the best decision we ever made for him. I didn't even question whether or not my second son would start Kindergarten this fall. In the words of his future kindergarten teacher, " If you start him in all day Kindergarten the week after he turns 5, that is setting everyone up for misery."

Sure, your son would probably be fine, but why push it? He has his entire life to be in school, why make the first experience less than ideal? I have a nephew who is 11 months younger than my oldest son, but they are both finishing up their 4th grade year. Even taking into consideration that all kids mature differently, the difference between the two is ASTOUNDING. My son is just older, and more confident because he has never had to struggle through the beginning of a school year.

That's my ten cents :)

I have the exact same issue. My son is 3, and in the 95% for height and weight, already knows his letters, sounds, and counts to 100 - very academically ready. But, we have decided to put him through 2 years of pre-k and then start him in full-day kindergarten. For us, the first year of pre-k will be 3 days a week at a rec center, then he will go to the neighborhood school's pre-k program for a year, that way he is "moving up" each year. I have a 12 year old with an October birthday. I tried and tried to start him early - he was soooo ready for school, but the schools wouldn't let me. He is now in the accelerated program and scores in the 99% on standarized tests. It has been frustrating dealing with him never being at the neighborhood school, so I thought I would be completely ready to start my 3 yo on time. Then I started talking with my son's friends and their parents. One has a boy that is on the young side in his class, and another has a boy that started late with an August birthday. The young child and his family wished they had not moved him up. The child that is old in his class (and also quite intelligent) loves being older and so do his parents. Then I talked with my own son, and he is glad that I didn't start him early. One other thing to consider is that it gives them an advantage in sports too - a year makes a big difference. You have to do what is right for you and your son, but I really think that starting boys later than earlier is better.

My son (now in 2nd grade and starting 3rd grade in September) also has an August birthday. He was at the same stage with his learning when he started Kindergarten and also very shy and introverted. He was in full day kindergarten. Initially we also enrolled him in before and after care (the childcare center was on the same premises as the school) but ended up rearranging our work schedules so he wouldn't have to attend. It was too much for him and he was scared and overwhelmed.

He definitely had more obstacles to overcome then most of his classmates both academically and socially because he is so much younger. However, we have a wonderful proactive school and bullying is simply NOT allowed. This has been the first year (2nd grade) that he actually has a "best" friend and someone he plays with every recess. He's always been well liked by all the kids in his classroom but never really connected with anyone until this year.

On the other had, my daughter was born in December and thus, will be started Kindergarten this September being almost 6! She is aching to go (a complete difference to when my son started) and looking forward to the after school care. My son does now attend after school care and if just fine with it.

I don't think there is a right or wrong decision but I will say, this year that my daughter has been another year in daycare she has been bored silly. She's frustrated and it comes out in other ways because she's simply not challenged enough.

Hope this helps.

I have three boys, and all three will be the youngest in their class (June,July and Aug. babies). My oldest is now in 4th grade, and in the advanced learning program in school. For 1st and 2nd grade he struggled a little with being emotionally and socially behind the others, but after sitting down with my husband and I, the teachers were VERY understanding and worked with him. Last year he started growing in leaps and bounds and this year he's emotionally and socially acting like the rest of his 4th grade class.

My middle son will start kindergarten this year and I'm very excited about it. His birthday is in August, but he's very ready for school. I'm sure there will be bumps in the road, but you just have to be ready for them.

In my opinion, and personal experience, I don't think a child who is academically ready should be held back. I myself was born in October and graduated at 17 (even starting college before I turned 18), and my husband is the same way.

I wish you all the best!

Do not put him, he is too young. Boys especially need the maturity time. Whenever you talk to someone who put their kid in school at an early age has regretted it. There's no reason to push kids the way we do now a days. They have their whole lives to be adults, let him be a kid for another year. It will be better for him to be one of the older ones in his class instead of the youngest.

My son will be 5 in mid-August. He got green lights from everyone. And I have known for years that he'd be ready.

My teacher friends have said that schools are beginning to back off their past flexibility with and encouragement of late starts. And so if you got any encouragement from the school that red shirting (cute phrase) might have some benefits, then do it.

He sounds ready to me. I also agree with Alana, does he want to go, is he excited about going? Holding boys back, just because they are boys does not give them much credit. Children are individuals..

Treat your son as such..

I wish I had listened to my gut, and my son's Kindergarten teacher! We are now in a situation where we are opting to repeat second grade, because he us emotionally immature. It is a struggle everyday with him. If you are feeling this way now, do not ignore it! Every one of my sons teacher recommended retention, but we ignored them, and asked him what he wanted. I wish I had waited to put him in Kindergarten, since i knew he was not ready. Kids do not know what is best for them, and one moe year to get ready could make the future so much easier for both of you!

Hi!

We have just gone through this with our oldest son and I have to tell you that we 110% REGRET not holding him back. It will be the best thing you do for him. My son was academically ready also but emotionally/maturity/socially - that isn't something you can teach. You will be surprised what one year does for your child. My son is just completing the 1st grade now and we intend to hold him back in the 1st/2nd split (but on the 1st side of things so he doesn't know).
I just wish there was somebody there to tell us not to start him as a young 5 year old. It's only one more year and he will be ready before you know it.

i would strongly recommend holding back, especially since the principal and teacher recommend it. they are professionals, able to be objective about your son's readiness and are looking out for kids' best interests. if they are telling you to hold back, it's for good reason. (schools get their funding based on headcount, so there is NO benefit on them telling you not to send your kid to school).

a shy kid especially benefits from having a little more life under their belt- being both young and shy is tough. also, it is very hard on kids who have to be held back later if he doesn't do well. and finally, if your son is an august birthday he must be right on the cutoff? so there will likely be other kids his age (and a few older ones) in his class next year. it is actually increasingly popular for parents who's kids are on the cusp to hold their kids back, and even more so with boys (for social maturity reasons) kids' success in early school often sets their pattern for life, so giving him a strong start can't hurt him.
if you are worried he will be bored over the next year, there are plenty of things you can do and teach your son about to keep his mind active and learning.

As an educator and a mom of four boys, all I can say is please, please, please hold your son back. Kindergarten today is like first grade was 20 years ago. A lot (not just academically, but socially) is expected of our kindergarteners today. The fact that you have some reservations is reason enough to hold him back in my book. You won't regret it. Since you are starting him in 1/2 day, you could always have him repeat, but once you're in "the system", it can be a difficult battle to get teachers and principals to agree to holding a student back.

Not speaking from personal experience - but I've known several parents who have redshirted their child. None of them regret the decision - they figure by waiting a year the child will be more successful - more leadership material.

Also another comment is that come middle school - they will physically mature on the same schedule as their other friends.

Only you know your child best and what will be right for him. As for me, my child was born Sept 19, and I did everything I could to try to get him into Kindergarten this year, but he was born just a little too late. I think once they get started they catch up quickly with their peers on development.

I wouldn't hold him back. I am a preschool teacher and a lot of what he will get in Kindergarten is academics, following directions and emotional and social development. The only reason that I say not to hold him back is that he will be bored in kindergarten the following year if he ends up being academically ahead of everyone else. That is just my opinion as I don't know your son myself.

I am in the same situation as you. My son is also ready academically, he can even write his own name. But, socially, I don't feel he is ready. I have a friend with an older son that was in the same position. She did not hold him back. She said that she didn't notice a problem until around 3rd grade, then he started to struggle. We also had a meeting with the preschool, kindergarten teacher, speech therapist, etc. They put it this way "they have never had a parent regret holding back, but they have had some (not all) parents regret not holding them back". We made the decision to redshirt.

We struggled with this same decision, but ultimately decided to send our son on to kindergarten. He has a late July birthday and is what I call "slow-to-warm." His preschool teacher recommended holding him back for confidence building, although I've heard that his particular school is a big supporter of holding boys back. I've talked to EVERYONE I know and it seems most people encourage holding him back. However, I'm following the advice of my other son's elemetary school principal and "following my gut instinct since, as his mother, I know him better than anyone else." I think he's academically on target. It's only half-day kinder and I feel he'd just be bored if we did two more years of only half-day programs. The fact that he's slow-to-warm is so much his personality. He's been this way since he was an infant, but I've seen him make huge improvements through the challenges we've presented him with. I think it's important for him to be challenged, not just sailing through because he's the oldest and biggest. But, really it came down to this...making a decision based on the what I know right NOW and not where I think he'll be 3 years, 5 years, or even 10 years down the road. I think he's ready for kindergarten, he wants to go to kindergarten and if anything changes and we feel that he's struggling then we'll make a decision on what to do next.

Our school does have a tuition-based full day program, so we have decided that if he struggles with the half-day, we will decide next year whether to repeat kindergarten and do the full-day program.

Ultimately, I think you need to decide what you think would work best for your particular child and your family, but I wanted to share our decision to show that not everyone holds their child back.

Our son had a July birthday, and we really should have kept him back a year. My opinion is that boys need the extra time.

I have 5 children. Two of my girls have August birthdays (they are now 18 and 15) and I really regret not keeping them back a year. Both HATE being the youngest of their class. Although academically they both did fine, I think they are still both behind emotionally. Maybe that matters more with girls, but something to consider. At the time of the decision back when they were little, I really just focused on whether they were academically ready to go to kindergarden, and I now wish I had waited because being the youngest in their group really did not serve them well. And I mean all through the school years -- even at the college level. They never really "caught up" emotionally with their class. I am expecting another baby in June, and believe me, I will probably hold this one back! Good luck with your decision!

I don't really have any advice to you, but I just wanted to let you know that you are describing my son to a T. He just turned 5 and attended preschool this year. He has blossomed since the beginning of the year, but he is sitll very shy and to himself. He is attending Kindergarten in the fall. i think your son will do fine in Kindergarten as well. The way I feel about holding him back a year is that it wouldn't help his maturity at all to be around kids younger than him. I think if they were having a hard time acedemically and socially, then holding back a year may be a good option. But it sounds like they ar every similar and are just very shy! Try to keep him socialized this summer. That is what I may have a hard time doing with my son; just trying to keep him busy. I am anxious about him starting kindergarten in the fall as well. I hope he will make some friends and open up more! Good luck!

Please don't worry. He will catch on once he is is school. I say that because I once taught kindergarten to children who had no advantages economically, socially or educationally. They all caught on to how to behave and interact in kindergarten.
I myself was a full year younger than the other children in my classes all the way through school. I knew how to read when I got there and had all the problems I would have had even if I had not gone to school that year.
Likewise my daughter who was a full year younger than her classmates. She was much more socially adept then I was. And, she had better parents. The secret is in having someone to go to who loves you and can help you with your troubles. Just be open to listening to your son and he will do well.

Updated

Please don't worry. He will catch on once he is is school. I say that because I once taught kindergarten to children who had no advantages economically, socially or educationally. They all caught on to how to behave and interact in kindergarten.
I myself was a full year younger than the other children in my classes all the way through school. I knew how to read when I got there and had all the problems I would have had even if I had not gone to school that year.
Likewise my daughter who was a full year younger than her classmates. She was much more socially adept then I was. And, she had better parents. The secret is in having someone to go to who loves you and can help you with your troubles. Just be open to listening to your son and he will do well.

Both my boys have fall birthdays, they were not allowed to begin K until the following year when they were almost 6. It was the best thing for them. Even though they were socially ready and academically ready it was better for them to have one more year at home (or in pre-school). There is so much pressure academically giving them a little extra time is a good thing. Boys are wired so much differently than girls and the school system especially at an early age seems to think that normal boy behavior is ADHD or ADD and suggest medicating to keep them in their seats. (not all of course I am using a very broad brush here, but I have witnessed with teachers who have large classes). Take the extra time to give your son the heads up. In regards to holding kids back and them getting into drugs etc. I'll have to research that myself, that may be holding them back after they begin school (flunking them) maybe because they started too early and needed the extra time. My boys are teenagers and are doing fine, no drugs, gangs, run in's with the police, not even detention.

I had a similar situation with my son, who is now 22. Academically he was in the top 1% of his age group, but socially, he was immature. We chose to enroll him in the private kindergarten run by his preschool, and if he matured socially, he would go on to first grade. Otherwise, he would do another year of kindergarten at the public school. He ended up doing 2 years of kindergarten, and it worked out great for him. He was way ahead of the majority of his classmates academically, but he never felt bored. The best part, though, was that he went from being a follower to being a leader. With all the bad choices kids can make in middle and high school, the extra maturity and self confidence will go a long way in helping him make good decisions.

I would have to agree with going with your parental gut. Only you know your child, and while I know this choice must feel huge it is not--in the grand scheme of things--going to be a decision with huge consequences.

Two things I would like to add as a preschool teacher, and this is just from my perspective. First, if your son has a group of peers who are 'graduating' out of preschool this year, I'd talk to your son's teachers about the appropriateness of sending him to a different preschool in the interim. (This is if you choose to delay kindergarten.) This will be a suitable option for some situations and not for others, so consider factoring in a conversation with the teacher/s to see if they think your son will be bored next year and need a new environment or if a return would be better.

Second, I strongly urge families at my preschool not to discuss preschool/kindergarten options and decisions in front of our children, nor do we discuss our concerns for/about our children in front of them. This can cause anxiety and lead our kids to internalize our concerns for them. If they think we as their parents (who know all, in their eyes) feel that they might not measure up or meet expectations, they will believe this. Despite their behavior, in many cases our children really truly believe our opinions as fact. It's hard not to discuss these issues with friends when our children are present, but it's so worth it to let our children grapple with their challenges believing they have our absolute confidence that they can work something through, no matter how long it takes. The parent's message of belief in the child supports the child's resilience and encourages them to keep working at those challenges. I am sure you are not trying to give your son anxiety about this, and letting it be an "adults only" topic of conversation will help lessen your son's nervousness.

Best wishes, whatever your decision may be.