My 5 year old son recently started kindergarten and for the first week he was great at drop off. Since then however every morning he has a melt down saying he does not want to leave me alone and will miss me. He has had gone to daycare/preschool in the past so separation is not new for him. He loves school and after I leave he does very well, but the act of separating and leaving him causes a melt down every morning. I have read a lot of articles on line about this and put the information I gained into practice, but so far nothing is working. It breaks my heart to walk away when he is crying out for me. Does anyone have any ideas of things I can try to help him. School is the first truly consistent thing he has had in his life and I want it to be an all around positive experience for him. Please help!
Maybe give him a little "special" something from you to keep in his pocket all day so that he knows that you are "with" him?
I used to teach kindergarten and trouble at separation is not uncommon! I am also a mom and I know how hard it is to leave your child when they are screaming for you.
How long does he cry after you leave (what does teacher say?)? Does his teacher have any ideas? I have had students bring pictures of mom/dad/family to look at throughout the day.
Or, maybe you could invent some special ritual to do when you leave - like a secret handshake. Just something special to say good bye. There will be tears, but if you keep it consistent, eventually he will get used to it.
Also, the longer you prolong things, sometimes the harder it makes it. Don't "sneak away". Drop him off, help him unload his backpack or whatever you are able to do, give hugs and kisses, secret handshake (if you choose) and leave. Remind him that you will see him at the end of the day and that you will miss him too, but that he is a smart kid and needs to go to school to learn new things. Maybe you could talk to the teacher and see if there is a "job" he can do after he says goodbye, to keep him occupied and not thinking about having left you.
Just some ideas...good luck!! :-)
Do you walk him to class? If so, I would stop. Our school has a dropoff lane where you pull up, the teacher opens the door and the kid hops out. If your kid is having a scene, it holds up the other cars. So the kids learn to keep it short and sweet.
You could also give him a special note each day, something funny, a joke, a drawing, whatever that he isn't allowed to read until he is in class. My hubby does this with the lunch boxes. Our kids love it. They then bring them home and we collect them all year.
Take to take a 'secet' video of this. When he becomes a teen and keeps his door shut 24/7, you can show it to him as a reminder of how close yall use to be. LOL
Don't kids take school buses anymore. Do you have to walk him in every
day. Isn't there a place to drop him off? Maybe you could send him with a
friend for a bit so he gets used to just going off without a scene. If you continue to walk him in, make it short and sweet. A kiss goodbye and walk
away. The longer you hang the worse it will be. Hope things improve soon.
When I leave my 4 year old at certain places (daycare at the rec center, and a 1 hour class he goes to), he gets super attached and holds on to me tight. This does not happen at all places, I think it is only when he is overwhelmed. I tell him I have to go, he asks for one more hug, and then I go. The one last hug lets me know I can leave. Maybe you could try something like that, say you need to go, and ask him for one last hug, and then leave. It doesn't have to be a hug, it could be anything, and hopefully it will switch to him saying it (or doing whatever you decide to do), to give him more control.
