Kids Showering W/dad

I would probably say 5 years of age or earlier to quit showering with dad. Though we have 2 boys no girls, that is just my comfortable thought on how old they should be. I would maybe recomend that now is probably a good time to stop.

The six year old will be hitting the "modesty" stage fairly soon and will put a stop to this as soon as she does. (And this will drive you nuts. She won't want anyone to see her - and will probably even wear underwear under her bathing suit.)

I am assuming your husband is not a pedophile. If this is correct, this is not a big deal. There's not a darn thing wrong with communal showering - it is a common thing in many other countries. In America, we tend to be a little hypersensitive about these things. It's nice that your husband is so involved with his girls. I'd strongly recommend that you stay out of this; otherwise you run the risk of being accused of interfering with his relationship with his daughters. The girls will make it absolutely crystal clear when they are too old for it - and they won't even want him in the bathroom with them while they are bathing.

The girls I know that grew up in households that were less modest tend to be more secure and confident in themselves and their relationships. And we all know that anything that is hidden or forbidden becomes more interesting, so I think seeing dad naked isn't so bad. It teaches them that everyone looks different and that it isn't such a big deal! And it may serve to desexualize men, which will come in handy a few years from now or to deemphasize the separation between the sexes, which will help them achieve sucess and never feel inferior.

In my humble opinion, I wouldn't let that continue.... My husband showers with our three (5,3, and 18 months) for safety sake, but he wears his swimming suit. If I get in with them, I wear a swimming suit. That's what we're comfortable with. My three are all boys and are very aware (and proud? you bet!) of their...masculinity, but I think it's valuable to teach personal boundaries. That being said, I showered all the time with my infant sans suit, but once they got to the age where they were aware or able to wash themselves (at least to some extent), I felt it was a matter of respect to give them the opportunity to become a bit more independent with that, if that makes sense.
Again, it's not about being ashamed of our bodies, it's about healthy boundaries. I shower with my husband all the time, and I don't feel the need to hide my body, but he's my husband, not my child, and even though they are flesh of my flesh, so to speak, I personally don't feel the need to parade my confidence in front of them (although I don't necessarily discourage their parading theirs, hahaha:)

The kids will say when they aren't comfortable being naked in front of their parents--it's hard to imagine that now, but they do get modest! My husband and I have two kids, a girl who is now 11.5 and a boy, almost 10. We have always been very easy-going with our kids regarding the body (I don't want them growing up with body shame or self-consciousness!) and they often showered with either of us until just a couple of years ago. They're your babies! A naked body is just that--naked. Why does this make you uncomfortable? It could be that you have unresolved issues about nakedness. Are you afraid for them? If you pick up on something other than a dad taking a shower with his kids, then that's something else and you would need to talk to someone about it--pronto. But if it's just that your upbringing says that we should hide out bodies, then let your partner help you get over it! They so little still! It wasn't that long ago they were still in diapers! You're lucky to have a man who is so comfortable with his daughters!

My husband and his dd, at the time of our marriage, were still showering. She turned 7 and was a 1st grader. We talked about it and I shared my feelings that I thought she was getting too old to shower together and he stopped. Enough said. It was just something that they did for convenience and he just had not thought about it at all. Communication, like someone said is key! Being a mom is hard, being a stepmom CAN be really hard. Good luck! :)

I agree with most of the responses that a child will naturally develop a sense of modesty that will put an end to the showers.

I shower with my infant and my 6 year old son wants to as well. I don't make a big deal about it. He obviously knows there are differences in our bodies, but once the discovery was made, and we didn't make issues about it, he accepted it and doesn't pay any attention. He is starting to develop some modesty, especially around his siblings, but mostly he feels pretty comfortable with his body. I wish I had grown up feeling more confident and self assured about my own body image.

I agree with the person who brought up the cultural differences. It's true that as Americans, we tend to be too sensitive and even suspicious about normal parent/child relationships. This includes what's considered appropriate in emotional and psychological development as well as appropriate physical touch and discipline.

I think that a good rule of thumb is that when the kid is tall enough that they are at eye level with private parts....male or female that its time to call a halt to the communal showers. Don't make a big deal out of it though because you don't want the girls to get the wrong idea....daddy isn't doing anything wrong its just that they are getting to old and big to share the shower.

Touchy subject.... I dont see anything wrong with it. My daughter showered with her dad until she was about six but it was my husband that started to feel uncomfortable with it. My daughter knows the differences in boy and girl parts and its no big deal if you dont make it one. We shouldnt be ashamed of our nakedness. and to all that say it just doesnt seem right that is an opinion. Now a 13 year old girl showering with her father thats different but a six year old isnt thinking about sex when they see a naked man. I would have a discussion with your husband tell him your thoughs and concerns. Communication is key.

My 5 YO daughter still showers with her dad on occasion to.I don't see any problem with it as long as both parties are OK with it. When either our daughter or dad start to feel uncomfortable with the arangement than they will stop.

I also rememebr showering with my dad and thought nothing of the fact that we were naked. I just thought it was fun to have the time with my dad playing in the water. Ifeel that I grew up very well adjusted and sucessful so no damage was done. At some point my dad started to feel he should give me more privacy and we move on. No biggie.

I think they should stop now. My Dad had 2 daughters before he and my mom got married. He used to do the same thing and my mother put a stop to it real quick. They were a little younger when they stopped. I think that when they get to an age where they can talk about their bodies and know the difference, that's time to stop for sure. When my son was younger I would sometimes take a bath and dress in front of him. He's 3 and knows all the parts of a woman, so I don't even let him in the room anymore when I am dressing.

Good luck! I came from a family of 4 girls. I now have 2 stepsons and one natural son.

K.,
A six year old daughter should not be showering with her father, nor should the 4 year old. It is inappropriate to not have boundries. My mother gave me advise that you should not bathe with your children once they are old enough to notice differences in bodies.
If the subject came up and the 6 year old daughter were at school your family would most likely get a visit from CPS, your daughter would be qestioned about whether or not her father was touching her, as would the 4 year old.
Your fiance is placing himself in a dangerous situation.
Children can be asked questions that are leading, and if a man is accused of sexual contact with a child, he is not considered innocent until proven guilty, it is the opposite, he will be considered guilty and have to prove himself innocent. Your child could be required to be examined to find out if there has been contact, and that to a child is very traumatizing.
You obviously don't approve, and in your heart you feel something is amiss or you wouldn't have to ask the question. Trust yourself, if you feel it is wrong, then it is. Women are smart and intuitive, Do what ever you can to bring this practice to a halt.
This could also be very embarrasing to your daughter and she may not feel comfortable saying so. Or she may fear she could be retaliated against if she does say anything. Think about how you would feel showering with your father, think back to six.
Six year old girls love to play in the bathtub by themselves and she is being robbed of that time.
Good luck to you.
By the way, I would shy away from a man who is showering with his six year old!! something just isn't right here.

Talk to your hubby about the situation. Give the girls an option to shower or do the bath alone (or with each other) and see what they say.
I have a set of b/g twins that will be 4 this summer and I see no signs of stopping community showers or baths. They all occasionally shower with daddy or mommy and they always take a bath with all 3 kids in there. Obviously the day will come when they want privacy and as soon as they request the seperate bath it will be given.
I don't think he is doing anything wrong but if you are not on board with him let him know!!

K., I've got to say, I think the time has come for the shared shower to stop. At least with the 6 yr. old.
It just...doesn't...seem... right. You know?
There are others ways to spend time together. Share experiences. Bond.
I would say once you child is in kindergarten the shared bathtime (shower time) is over.
My husband and I have 2 young girls, and we've been through this as well.

Yes, I think that is too old for a dad to shower with his kids. I'd ask them to stop.