Kids Cleaning Bedrooms

my son is 21/2, there are days that he dont want to clean it, but i still make him clean his room. I show him with a cpl toys how to put them away and then he finishes from there it seems to work for me. With the older oens take away there playtime, or something away from them if they dont want to clean their rooms. Maybe they will after that. i hope this helps.

I learned this trick on Dr Phil...

Tell them once to clean up. If they dont, you start taking things away. You lock them away, where even the most clever child cannot get to. Everytime you ask them to clean up, you take something else away. However, everytime they DO clean up something you ask, you give them one thing back. My daughter is only 3 and this works like a CHARM. She knows that she will lose her favorite doll for the say if she doesnt clean up her mess from breakfast. However, I KNOW she'll be cleaning up her mess from lunch, otherwise she doesnt get it back. You aren't getting rid of these things for good... so you dont have to feel guilty. Yes, they will throw their tantrums, but you know that as soon as they catch on to the game they get their stuff back. It worked for me!

I'm a member of www.FLYlady.com, which really helps me keep my house clean and keep routines and have a healthy attitude towards it all. Flylady is an advocate of her colleague's website, www.housefairy.org, which is a website to help motivate and encourage children to clean their rooms. On the website there's a video of The Housefairy where she talks to your kids and tells them she's going to stop by unexpectedly every once in awhile and check on their rooms and see if they've been cleaning it like their parents have asked and leave little notes and rewards if they have. It also helps give you ideas on how to make a game out of cleaning, and turn it into a postive experience so they can develop good habits for life. I've looked over this website and read parents' experiences with it, and I definitely plan on using it when my son is old enough to understand. Praise and rewards are usually bigger incentives than punishment, and much more positive and help their self-esteem. In fact, while studying for his Master's in Business, my husband learned that people performed better with the incentive of receiving recognition and praise than they did with the motivation of monetary rewards in the workplace.

Good luck! Be firm and make sure there are consequences, both positive and negative, for their behavior. Consistency pays off.

My 5 year old daughter had the same problem, so I broke it down for her into the actual tasks. I think "Clean your room" was too broad for her. Now that she's reading, I even made a list and posted it in her room. 1) clothes in the hamper 2) books on the shelf 3) toys in the box 4) pillows and blankets on the bed
5) Show mom!
Then I let her pick a little activity as a "prize." (Usually read together or play on her swingset.) Works like a charm.

Do they know how to clean? It's not something kids are born knowing! :)

I agree with Mary F, break it down into small tasks. You don't necessarily have to do the whole room at once. Maybe set up a routine--my kids do better if they have the same expectations every day. Something like: after breakfast we make our beds and pick up dirty clothes. After lunch we put away toys. Try putting pictures of the toys on the bins they belong in, it will help the kids remember what goes where. You can also try setting a timer or making a counting game out of it.

My kids also do better working together--we ALL clean one room together and then we move to the other, rather than splitting them up and getting the complaints about having to do it all by themselves. They are 6 and 3 now and sometimes they manage it on their own!

J., I have three kids 7(g),5(b)and a 9mo (b), My husband and I have had so many problems in the past getting our kids to clean up their rooms,We did throw away toys that were not picked up in the past I do think that is what changed things but now I ask them to clean their rooms one time and they go in and clean (spotless) make their beds and vacuum their rooms. The only thing I can figure out is that they love getting the praise for it, After they are finished they shut their doors and ask me to come and look, I really make a big deal about how proud of them I am and what a great job they did and just tell them over ad over. I think kids love when they know they did the best... Good Luck

The only thing that works for us is taking a trash bag and anything that's on the floor goes in it. We have three ages 6, 4 & 2. My daughter is 4 and it took a couple times doing that for her to see that we were serious. She never took us seriously because we never followed through with the threats of "throwing" her toys away. Now once we pull out the trah bag, she puts it into gear and gets her toys picked up. Good Luck!

you clean whatever they don't, then put those toys in time-out. i do it for about a week. they start seeing thier toys going away, and learn quickly...

I have the same problem with my 5 yr old. any ideas you may get could you pass them along?
L.

instead of telling them to "clean their room", try giving them specific tasks such as "pick up your books" then once that's done give them one more like "put your clothes away". Give it to them in smaller pieces so that they don't feel overwhelmed by such a large task ;) it worked on my two little ones.

I have the same trouble! I don't have any answers for you. I'm interested in what others will post.

My kids are the same ages. I'll hear everything from "I'm out of energy" to "my hands are itchy" in his most whiney voice!

I've bought "clean-up" music. Sometimes works. And sometimes I pull out a kitchen bag and set the timer. If the timer goes off and they are not done (or very close and trying. I clean it up but it goes in the bag for a time-out for a while (days).

Sounds like the kids rule the roost. You must teach them you are the mom/adult/boss and they need to obey the rules or else. Else may be time out, loss of a favorite toy for a given period of time, no TV or whatever works. In short: Become the boss or they will be the boss forever. It gets harder to assume authority as the children grow so you don't want to do that when they are 15! Good luck...

we have had this problem too, we took out a trash bag and anything he wouldn't clean up went into the bag and was told it would go in the trash, but we really just put it in the garage. after several days of good clean up times we gave it back and explained that next time he might not get any of it back. He was very upset and clens up pretty good now he is almost 4 and the threat of a trash bag really gets him moving.

I watch kids in my home during the day and if they won't clean up, then they dont get to go back into the play room until the next day. If they can't clean it up they cant play with it. Good luck!!

Hi J. and kudos for having three! I have two boys seven and almost four. As for cleaning bedrooms, I was recently explained that although my three year old made the huge mess, it's overwhelming for them to clean it up themselves. If you sat on the bed and said, "Oh, I know where that goes. Do you?" or label "homes" with pictures for their toys, it might be more productive. For my seven year old, I tell him that whatever isn't put away will either be vaccumed up or thrown out. If that doesn't work, I start taking away priveledges i.e. t.v., computer, bikes, birthday party, etc. Hope this helps?

What has worked for us is a chore-chart. Since two of ours are too young to read, I used pictures of things (went online to find pictures) like a bed for making their bed, a laudry basket of clothes to pick up clothes, a toybox to pick up toys, etc. Each day, they can mark off what they've done. I also included a behavior chart with it (green light - good, yellow light - warning, red light - bad). Each day that they do all their "chores" and have a green light they get an allowance - which we made 15 cents. They love getting coins!!

At night, right before bed we have "Clean Sweep" where everyone, all four kids (including we adults) go room by room and make sure everything is put away. Anything left out is deemed unimportant, and is taken to charity. They realize QUICKLY that they must put things away in order to keep it!

It also helps to have designated places for things like a family shoe area - we use a large rattan basket style box with a lid (no more hunting for shoes!) and a place to hang backpacks and put homework. For this, we hung a four knob hanger and above it, we mounted an acrylic 3-level tray for: "homework", "things to give to mom and dad" and "take to school."

Best of luck!

Hi J.,
I watched this on SuperNanny, and Nanny911. Here's what they do, and it works every time: Tell your kids to clean up their room and tell them that any toy left on the floor will be thrown/taken away. Once they clean their room, and the toys you find left on the floor...take a trash bag in there and start collecting the toys up off the floor. Store the bag in a place where the kids can't get to it. Tell them that if they keep their room clean, and clean it when mommy asks them too, then they can have one toy back. Stick with this and they will soon learn that mommy means business and there are consequences if they don't clean up their room like they are suppose to. Good luck. :-) G.

Thanks for the question. I read all the answers & am definitely going to try the trash bag. I have been (empty) threatening for months, so I guess I just need to follow through now. But just a note - I read somewhere that children are VERY literal at this age, so you have to be specific about what you want them to do - put your books away, put your clothes in the laundry, etc. Clean your room is too vague. It also helps to lead by example. I wish I could throw away some of my husband's toys ;)

I have been listening to "Love and Logic Parenting" Audio cd's and a good solution that I heard was given him the option, not getting mad but just giving the option of you clean your room and keep your toys or I clean your room and throw your toys away and really stick to it do not give them back.

WELL J. ITS TOO BAD KIDS CAN'T BE MORE TIDY WHEN WE NEED THEM TO BE, BUT THEY ARE NOT PERFECT AND IM SURE EVERY MOM HAS HAD THIS PROBLEM!! I NEVER WON THE BATTLE W/ MY GIRLS SO NOW I JUST RESORT TO SHUTTING THEIR DOOR IF I HAVE COMPANY OR SOMETHING. BUT IF THEY HAVE COMPANY AND GET TOTALLY EMBARASSED WHEN THEIR FRIENDS MAKE FUN OF THEM THEN I EXPLAIN WHY THEY SHOULD CLEAN, OTHERWISE THEY DONT HAVE FRIENDS OVER, OR IF THEY CANT CLEAN UP THEN THEY CANT FIND WHAT THEY NEED AND THAT IS FRUSTRATING FOR THEM, " I CANT FIND MY FAVORITE SHIRT, WHERE IS MY NEW TOY ETC. ETC." IF YOU HAD CLEANED YOUR ROOM YOU WOULDNT HAVE THAT PROBLEM AND IM NOT GOING TO HELP YOU FIND IT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS TIDY! (and stick to your guns) IT TAKES A FEW TRYS BUT IT REALLY DOES WORK! WHEN THE MESS IS EFFECTING THEM DIRECTLY IN A NEGATIVE WAY THEY SEEM TO UNDERSTAND, AND IF THEY HAVE THE CHANCE TO FIGURE IT OUT THEMSELVES THEY TEND TO RESPOND IN A MORE POSITIVE WAY (reverse psychology) I HOPE THIS HELPS