Keeping the Fire After a Baby

Updated on July 27, 2007
D.M. asks from Manchester, NH
5 answers

i recently had a baby and it seems since weve been home and into a differnt schedule me and my husband has had no time for eachother other than a bedtime when were both beat we watch tv and cuddle for about 30 min if were lucky it seems that we agrue a little more and are much more tense due to the lack of work on our relationship also any advice on ways to spice it up maybe make more time for us.

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J.G.

answers from Boston on

hi! i first want to congratulate you on your newest edition! and tell you that i think your amazing for the role you play! im a single 24 year old mother of a 5 year old, and honestly the only way my boyfriend and i could enjoy each other after my daughter was for me to literally initiate all the "lovin"! no joke! baths ready when he gets home, movies to help stimulate (they do have some nicer ones that arent hardcore) and not to mention setting the alarm clock for a mindnight/midmorning session every now and then!i also realized the sooner nana took her on friday nights the sooner i could be with my man again. going to the movies.. playing cards or even just a full body massage. We were able to eventually talk about things in a more casual and calm way about things too and that def helped. I wish you both the best of luck, and not only for ou too b/c if your stressed it can spread to your kids and lets be real! a little love from our partner can def make the day a little better! lol :-)

the best of luck to both of you!

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H.W.

answers from Providence on

D.,
The first rule of a couple having some adult time is to get a sitter. :) This way, you & your husband can either go out for dinner or even have a quiet, romantic dinner at home. Scented candles around the house and a bubble bath together are good. So is having you greet your hubby at the door in a teddy or neglige (sp?). Having some rose petals across the bed is a nice romantic touch.

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

HI D., weird I just wrote a response to another D. M. Or are you two the same person.? Anyways, God Love You honey, because my daughter, our 1st, is 18 mths and we're still struggling with our sex life, and we're actually "trying" to have our 2nd, lol. Ahyeah, anyways. Give yourself a break, he'll be fine, unless you're missing too. NOt me, I think it's all hormonal stinks doesn't. It will come back, hopefully. Talk to your Doctor about it, I did and she suggested exercise to boost me sex drive. We'll see, just joined a gym last week. Good luck.

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S.W.

answers from Lewiston on

Hi D. M,

You and hubby need some time together..Do you have family members that will take the children?? even if they go to the children go to different family members...

This is what I did when our children were little and we couldn't find someone to take them for the night..
I would pick a night that I knew that he wasn't going to work as well as myself..I would feed the children early and have them in bed..then make a candle light dinner for the two of us.. This way we both had our special time together..we would sit and talk about anything and every thing..After dinner take the candle's and head to the bed room and spend time together and I don't mean to be rude on this..
Other times I would have the children feed and in bed at a reasonable tine and set the bed room into a very romantic setting..

I know that it is very important for couples to make time for each other to keep the bond they have..Or even to get that bond back and I am not talking the sex bond I am talking the friendship and the Love bond..PLEASE DO NOT THINK I AM BEING RUDE because I do not mean it that way really I don't!!!
Those are some of the things that I did when our children were young..I hope it gives you some kind of idea to work with that would work for you guy's..Good Luck and Have Fun!!

S. :)

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L.W.

answers from Portland on

Too funny...I just posted a similar question and after I posted mine I saw this! Congratulations on your new addition. I am sorry I don't have much advice...Just wanted you to know you are not alone and I think the biggest advice that I have for you is take time to take care of yourself (you will feel better) and take time alone with hubby, even if it means turning the tv off and having a glass of wine (or juice:-) and simply talking before going to bed. Take care!

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