Keeping Kids Home--your Criteria?

Updated on December 11, 2012
H.W. asks from Portland, OR
34 answers

Since I'm going to be home ALL day...

Kiddo has a bad cold. Hard time getting to sleep and super-stuffy. But the biggest reason I'm keeping him home is that he's on Space Cadet mode-- poor Kiddo, it took him about two minutes to find his spoon-already at the table-- to have some applesauce (he's got a loose tooth hurting him, too). Even though I'm familiar (like the back of my hand) with the exclusion policy, it just seems like today's not a day to expect him to pay attention and function in kindergarten.

Anyone else keep their kid home with moderate symptoms but simply because you don't think they can perform adequately at school? (please note, NO judgment here-- I'm a SAHM right now and have this luxury, and if his symptoms were mild and he could focus, I'd send him. I've also worked and had to send him to school/care when I really wanted to keep him home. I know a lot of families don't have many options when both parents have to work. PLEASE do not think that this is about who cares for their kids more. We all love our kids!)

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the responses-- it was interesting to see a variety there, but mostly on the same track.

Kiddo isn't getting spoiled today. He did walk up to the store with me while we had a window of sunny weather, which I think is good for sick kids (getting outside, and we took the walk slow). He's got a half-hour now of quiet reading time on his own and then gets to finish up some homework which is due tomorrow. I think that's all he's going to have the brains for! He gets a nice bath later, and then we'll cross our fingers for tomorrow. In the meantime, he's getting a lot of chicken noodle soup!

And to all of you moms who are home with sick kids--- I wish you hugs and plenty of patience...and try not to get sick!

Featured Answers

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

For kindergarten (and even grades 1, 2 or 3) - yep, I'd keep him home rather than having him zone out at school.
For higher grades it gets a little harder to judge what they'll be missing and what they'll have to make up.
By middle school and high school - it's really hard to miss a day even if you are sick as a dog.
They have make up work policies but I swear it bites us in the behind somehow every time we have to use it - so we avoid it unless it is absolutely necessary (temp, throwing up, diarrhea).

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I have no problem letting my kiddos stay home if they are having an"off" day. Just because they aren't really sick, doesn't mean they can't take a mental health day. I think it is good for everyone.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

If she wasn't running fever, so congested that it affected her equilibrium, or squirting liquid out of either end of her digestive tract, she usually went to school.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

You did the right thing. Your child feels sick, let him have a sick day. It's your call.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My daughter technically could have gone in late this morning since she stopped vomiting 24 hours ago. She slept 14 hours and is dead tired still.
She is staying home and resting, though she wanted to go because she hates missing work. She will go tomorrow unless she gets sick again.

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

H., I keep my kids home with mild symptoms occasionally.

Perfect timing of your question, because my 8th grade boy is home today. He was extremely nauseous last night and we pulled over in a car trip home thinking he was going to puke. But didn't - thank goodness.

He's not gotten out of bed yet and its 9:30 here. He looked flush with very red cheeks this morning when I checked on him, but no high fever.

Just common sense, 'some days are diamonds, some days are stones'

Also, last week, I had a terribly deep ache hit me like a ton of bricks. I took Nyquill, went to bed really early, and felt great in the morning, which totally surprised me. I thought for sure I was getting a flu.

I'm a big believer in keeping kids home when they can rest before a sickness makes them even worse.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I hear ya! I do work full-time, but I teach college, so I have days off here and there. I think I'd probably keep him home if I could at this age. When he gets a little older, maybe not. (Oh the judgement calls we get to make :-)

For as far back as I can remember (which probably means middle school), my parents always sent me unless I had a fever or was really, really sick. They told me if I still wasn't feeling good, they would pick me up. I absolutely respect why they did that. Their theory was so often we don't feel good right away, but once we push ourselves to get going in the morning, we feel just fine. Also, they wanted to instill in us the idea of responsibility and knowing that sometimes you have to push through the days when you don't feel 100%.

But I kindergartner I'd probably keep home.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

It's not worth sending them in if they are not feeling well enough to learn anything at all that day and could end up being a distraction to the classroom instead. Even when the visable, active parts of illness are over (fever etc) it's always a good idea to have a day to recover your strength and rest so you do not leave yourself vulnerable to getting yet another illness because you were too weak to fight it off.
If you can keep him home then by all means do so. So he can fully recover instead of risking relapse or catching something new.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

When my kids were in school I absolutely did it.

Now that we homeschool it's a moot point. Ironically I push them to do more school work if they're mildly sick because I can see for myself whether they can handle it or not.

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I'd keep him home. He won't get much out of school today, but will only be spreading his germs around. Keeping him home and letting him rest will help his body heal itself quicker.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, especially at that age, there's no harm in keeping him home to rest up.

Be sure not to make it too "fun", though. If he gets to do things he doesn't normally (watch more TV than usual, that sort of thing), then you may find him "not feeling well" more often.

At least that's happened once or twice with each of my sneaky kids. I had to start making staying home very, very boring. Stay in bed and rest. Books allowed, no TV or electronics. If you suddenly get some energy, I have some jobs for you :)

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

It really depends. In general I only keep my kids home when they can infect someone else. This does not apply to colds though, if I did that no one would go to school. Okay maybe that is a bit dramatic.

Like today, I have a mild cold, am I bringing my A game, heck no! am I functioning enough to get it done, yes. I do the same thing with my kids, if they can function they can go to school, if not they can stay home. So to put it another way, if they will get nothing but misery from the experience of going to school I will keep them home. If they are going to learn something they go. I can tell which is which.....

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M.E.

answers from Tampa on

I have a son in Kindergarten. If this was my son, I would keep him home. I have done the same thing. If the kid is miserable then don't force it. I am also a SAHM for the most part, so I have that luxury as well. My mom used to send me in with the worst colds. I would be so miserable. I guess I didn't protest but I remember blowing my nose constantly and coughing my brains out in class. The teacher and kids will thank you for keeping him out of the classroom. He'd probably spread his germs.

Older kids are different. For my middle schooler, I would encourage him to go if he didn't have a fever. He'd have more work to make up.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Mine usually only stay home if there is fever, vomitting or diarrhea, but of course I'm sure if they were lethargic and really feeling terrible and asking to stay home I would let them. I have also let them come home in the middle of the day if they were feeling sick. If they have a cold I may give some cold medication to keep them from coughing and sneezing all over everyone.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Hey H.,
Well my son is home from school today too.
Last night, he had diarrhea.... and woke up this morning just not feeling well and is lethargic and has general malaise.
So I am keeping him home. Plus he is not the type to "fake" it.
He is only 6.

I almost was going to send him to school... he does not have diarrhea today. Or yet. But has general malaise today this morning.
I am sure he would have been a trooper, if I did send him to school today... but I kept him home. He'd probably end up going to the health room anyway, not feeling well, and they would have called me.
So my thought was, I will just keep him home today.
They have a substitute today anyway, and I know what his homework is already.

Again, my son's symptoms are "mild." But he is generally not himself.... very lethargic too, and who knows if his diarrhea will occur again, since last night. He also has no appetite this morning. So just keeping him hydrated in a reasonable manner.

Fortunately, I did not have to work today at the school. So I can keep him home. If I did work today however, and he was sick, I would have called in sick. BUT, there have been times when he was sick (runny nose/sneezing, no fever) and I did send him to school, because I had to work. But at those times, he still was his normal self and energetic, not dragging around.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

A couple of weeks ago my middle daughter was very much like this with a low grade fever. She wasn't herself and she was miserable, even though she wasn't snotty or having a high enough fever to justify keeping her home. I was already having a day off from work for other reasons, and the poor thing had put herself back to bed and fell asleep after getting her sisters to school so I knew she wasn't right. Home she stayed.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Generally, I just keep mine home if she has a fever or vomiting. However, if she really does not seem to feel well, and I think she's at the start of something that is going to get worse, I will keep her home rather than chancing that she could infect someone else.

For myself, I almost never run a fever, regardless of how sick I am, and vomiting is rare, too. However, I know that there are times when despite the lack of fever or vomiting that I need to get some rest, am snotty/wheezing/coughing, and have no business sharing my germs with others. So I figure the same applies to my daughter sometimes too.

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I too would keep him home. I work part time only 3 half days a week. If my kids are either in pain (tooth ache or whatever) I would keep them home if it seems sever enough that they can't function. If they have a fever I keep them home, throwing up of course, pink eye. I will also keep them home if they are so stuffed with with a runny green nose and they just seem a little out of it and tired and like they could pass out and not make it through school, then I will keep them home.
I hope your little one feels better soon. Its no fun for anyone when they are sick

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Yes, I've done that. If it's a day that he (4.5) just looks awful and one of us can stay home or pick him up 1/2 day we will do it. We've also been in the opposite seat, which is really the worst... sending your little one in when he's feeling crappy, but you can't stay home.

When in doubt, we keep them home!

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

My number one criteria: Fever.

After that: Vomiting, diarrhea, bad cough/congestion, exhaustion/malaise, rash...

Basically, if they are feeling/have symptoms of being very ill and are likely contagious, I'll keep them home. I try no to let my kids be at school when they are contagious if I can help it.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I would have kept him home too. I think we forget just how crappy you feel when you have a cold. It's almost worse than something like a flu because you aren't sick "enough" to stay home but you feel terrible and don't want to do anything. Kids don't have as much ability as we do to muscle through it.

I think a Mom knows when her kids need to be home and take it easy. Some times we all need a rest day to eat soup and snuggle :)

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If the kid needs to rest and isn't having problems in school, let him have a sick day. Sometimes we all need one. I'd tell him he must rest and take it easy and not let him play really active games.

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

Yep, in that case I would keep mine home too. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Recently my son said he was sick and wanted to stay home, but just the night before and that morning he was wrestling around and playing like a puppy. So, I sent him and he was fine. Yes, he had mild cold symptoms and wasn't feeling perfect, but he had energy, no fever, no real symptoms other than a slightly stuffy/runny nose. I made the mistake of keeping him home one day when I was on the fence and by mid-day he was completely normal, active, bored and looking for me to entertain him. I work from home, so that wasn't an option for the most part...plus he was supposed to be resting!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Mine go to school unless they are running fever or in too much pain to go to school. But I work full time. If I didn't and had the luxury of keeping them home if I knew they had a hard time and wouldn't focus I probably would. My youngest had perfect attendance last year and the year before he was devastated that when he got very ill a few weeks ago and that meant he wouldn't get it this year. When my boys were younger and had more breathing issues than now I kept them home more for colds because they always turned into something else. Don't feel bad if you feel that he would be better off to stay home.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My oldest (age 8) is a huge pusher of boundaries. He is relentless and exhausting and always has been. If I let him stay home one time having a mild cold he would drive me totally insane insisting he stay home each time he is mildly sick. I guess I am kind of mean...yes, I have sent him to school feeling bad. I keep both kids home if they have a fever or are vomiting. I keep them home for the stomach flu. I keep them home for strep throat. They hardly ever get sick though, knock on wood.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I keep my kids at home for the obvious, fever, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. If they really act like they don't feel well, even without any of the above, I keep them home. If they "act" like they don't feel well, but are then running around like normal they go to school.

My daughter is home today, none of the above symptoms, she is stuffy and achy and you can tell by looking at her she doesn't feel well.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

I always went to school no matter what. If I had a fever I took a fever reducer and passed for "well." I would have had perfect attendance except for a funeral and a couple other things that were not my fault but prevented me from going.

I stay at home as a om but I don't keep them home for being ill unless they have a fever (or something serious), and it has to be at least 100. That's the school criteria so easy to follow.
For preschool I'm more lenient but honestly for kindergarten and first grade if they miss, they get behind.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i think you did exactly right. i don't have to take off work very often, none of us get sick too much - and i have plenty of PTO time at work, so i would have kept my kindergartener home too if he was acting like that. no way was he ready to be productive at school. poor kiddo. hope he feels better! moms know best!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

i do keep generally sick kids home.. because i stay home and I can.

vomiting, fever, diahrrea.. absolutely stay home.. but if the child is sick and generally miserable they stay home too.

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M.C.

answers from Tampa on

I would have kept my son home with these symptoms ("space cadet"). I keep him home when he had a slight fever in last 24 hours (even if he is acting completely healthy) if he has a stomach bug or if he seems sick (bad cold/miserable etc).

I will send him when he is acting fine but has clear runny nose or light /not constant cough etc. I just remind him to wash his hands after he wipes his nose and to cough into his elbow.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

My son is in preschool so it's not a full day of school we are talking about. I only would not send if he has a fever, vomiting or diarhea. Fortunatly he has not had any of those since starting preschool last year. I have sent him to school with a really bad runny nose but the teachers said he acted fine.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

No, I would have given him some sudafed liquid last night to see if it helped clear the goo out and if it did then he would get some this morning then go to school.

It is nice to keep them home sometimes too. He may need to just sleep the day away. Once he wakes up really good though he may be on high speed until he drops tonight.

I only keep kids home if they have puked (not from food but from a virus) or had runny diarrhea in the past 24 hours, if they have run a fever over 101 degrees in the past 24 hours. I "might" consider keeping them home if their fever has been consistently over 99 degrees for over 24 hours but it's not likely.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

When my kids were little I probably would have kept them home for that. Now that they are older the criteria has changed; they only stay home for fever (over 100), vomiting, or diarrhea where they are running to the restroom a couple times an hour. Obviously there are exceptions and common sense rules, but those are my basic criteria.

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A.B.

answers from Seattle on

Oh my, by some of these responses I should have sent my kindergartner to school yesterday and today! Yesterday he was coughing up nasty mucus all day and ended up puking what little he ate right before bedtime. No fever, but still hacking cough. He is home again today and tomorrow there is no school for parent/teacher conferences so he'll probably only go in Thursday and Friday. I'm SAHM too so I have the ability to keep him home and attempt to limit the germs from spreading to other kids and teachers at his school - sudafed for a kindergartner? What was that poster thinking? Now when he is older, say middle school, and has a better handle on his own personal hygiene (cough cover, thorough hand washing, proper use of tissues, etc.) it will be a different story. But yes, you absolutely did the right thing and I feel that if you can keep your kids at home when they are obviously fighting a virus, you should - help keep that junk from infecting others too - especially before the holidays!!!

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