Keeping Journal for Custody (Edited)

Phone calls between you and him-time, date and what was said if there was time agreed to for him to pick her up, disagreement on time or day, if you or he needed to change a time or a day, etc.

When he comes in contact with her-picks her up/drops her off (date and time) and was he on time or late (how late), where the pick up/drop off happened (your home, his home, McDonalds), what condition she was in at drop off (clothes clean, hair neat, dirty or clean face & hands, any cuts, busies or scrapes and how bad).

If he doesn't show up for a visitation with her, cancels a visitation, takes her somewhere inappropriate, does something that could endanger her, he tries to argue/fight with you in front of her, takes her clothes shopping, to the park, to a B-day party, etc.

You have to write down the good and the bad because if you do end up in court, you'll look like the bigger person because you didn't just keep track of the bad things!

Good luck
S.

yes. the dates and the times that he visits with her. If he is late. if he has any issues like he is in a fowl mood. how your daughter is when she comes home from visitng him? was she said or upset by anything he did? My SIL and brother are getting divorced and she did a bunch of crazy things including a DUI so my brother has custody of the kids. I think it was suggested by his lawyer to do so.

I kept a log on a calendar. It marked the time of pick up and drop off. Phone calls, brief details of what was said between us adults and my child's disposition before and after spending time with the non custodial parents and family.

It's not something that should be done out of malice but just to keep track in case it needs to come up in court for whatever the reason. Memory is a faulty thing but having things down on paper is great then you don't need to remember. It is in plain black and white.

Please stick to the facts and not your emotions. You should want your child to have a great relationship with her father because much of her identity and self worth will come from her relationship with him. This is sad but true.

Leeah:

It's always best to be prepared...however, your child is NOT a pawn...

i would keep a log on how often he calls - how long the call is - my child's disposition/attitude after the call (happy, sad, upset, etc.)

I would ensure that my daughter doesn't get caught up in the nastiness of adult business - it's NOT her fault that you guys got divorced...so YOU need to be as cordial as you can and say nothing nasty about him that can be used against you...

This is about your child....so is he doing things that will help your child grow?
Is he setting a good example?
Is he allowing women to spend the night at his place when he has custody of her?
Is he allowing his friends over when he has custody to watch a ball game or is he focused on her?
Does he leave her alone?
Does he leave her unattended in a bathroom - I'm not sure how old she is - but how does he handle taking his daughter to the bathroom in public?

it's things like this that I would keep track of...this isn't a tit for tat. This is about your daughter getting quality time with both of her parents...she is NOT a pawn, a tool or a toy.

I've, sadly, been in court multiple times on custody/visitation disputes.

The two of you and your daughter are living in the same house? If that is true, I doubt a judge is going to listen to the details of his comings and goings. You risk sounding petty and controlling by logging his movements.

If you want a family judge to "take your side" during a custody/visitation hearing, I would not keep a log of your baby's father's hour by hour activities, and stop seeing the other man. I don't think having a "boyfriend" while you are living with the father of your child, whom you are trying to paint as a "bad parent" will stand in your favor. In my experience, judge's are very traditional in their views and very much "by the book". That is their job.

Exactly what you've posted here

Up at 2pm
Asked to take daughter for 1 hour. Refused.
Went to John's house for videogames at 230. Returned hom at 4am.

Up at 130pm
Worked with dad on car until 3pm
Left house at 3pm.
Returned home at 2am.
Refused to take daughter for night feedings saying "_____________".

Up at 2pm
Asked to take daughter for a few hours, agreed.
3pm Played with baby for 5 minutes. Got angry that she _______ and handed her to his mother.
310 pm Left to go meet friends.
Home at 4am

Up at 1pm
Drank coffee in same room as daughter
Played on computer for 4 hours. Yelled at me to keep daughter away from him because she was distracting him from _________.
6pm Ate dinner at table with daughter, did not help in feeding.
Did not help in bathing, or bedtime, although asked.
7pm left to meet friends
3am came home, woke baby up, refused to help put back to bed/ went to bed himself.

Up at noon.
Yelled at toddler for being too loud.
1230 left
4am returned

Weekly time spent in same room as daughter 45 minutes
Weekly time spent responsible for daughter 5 minutes

Up at 2 pm
ETC

The things you listed are good but also keep track of times when he is supposed to get your son and doesn't or shows up late, returns him late, things like that. When he could get him and chooses not to. Any issue with anger management or hostility.

My situation is a bit different. My ex doesn't live with us and assigned times he suppose to get them and drop them off.
I have a little notebook and i write the date. time of pickup, time of drop off and any little notes. Like my kids screamed and didnt want to go, He was 1/2 hour late and sometimes he just plain doesnt show up.
HTH
I was told not to put anthing else in it.