Just for Fun for Moms with One.

Well, I don't have to put up with sibling rivalry and we can pretty much go and do whatever we want.

My daughter (now grown) is an only child.
I never had to split my time and attention between her and another child.
No sibling rivalry to deal with.
I was able to afford to give her opportunities I could not have with more than one.

Now that she's grown, she has told me that she's glad she was an only.

If you are fine with one child, then that is fine.

Or do you and Hubby want a 2nd child?

There are pro's and con's to everything. There is no single solid reason for things like this. Everyone and every situation is different. As well as, every child is different.
Some siblings get along.
Some do not.
You cannot predict that outcome.
Even if you raise both kids the same.
Because each child has their own disposition/personality/temperament.

I have 2 kids.
4 years apart.
Did not PLAN for them to be 4 years apart. It just so happened.
But I and my Husband always wanted more than 1 child.
So then we did.
My eldest child was so happy to have a sibling.
And she and my son adore each other.
For us, that is family.
For some that is not.

One child or more, is up to you and Hubby and how you feel about it.
And whether or not, you think you can handle more than one child.
Or want to.
Or can.

I have friends that are only children. And some that have siblings. They are all great people.

I can't imagine another child in our family. We are so complete with our one and only by choice, now 17.5 yr old daughter.

We give her 100% support, we are financially sound and would be with more children as well but we knew this was the way to go for us.

You can't count on siblings getting along either.

If you ask my daughter, she'd have it no other way. Last week a friend was over working on a Physics project with her and told my daughter how lucky she was to be an only. My daughter said, I know, I am blessed.

As Leigh R stated, you will hear a log of BS about onlies being spoiled, self centered, etc. It is truly that... BS. Onlies get sterotyped for being only and it is a load of BS.

As a substitite teacher for 10+ years, I see a lot of onlies and a lot of children with siblings. It does not matter if you are an only or have a house full of children... there can be issues with both. It is a matter of how children are raised, not a matter of being an only or not.

Believe me, you can find a lot of children with siblings who are anti social, spoiled brats and self centered.

Family of an only here and no regrets whatsoever.
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EDITED: Above responder......I have enjoyed many of your responses on Mamapedia through the years.

However, I find it very insulting and absurd to make a blanket statement that any parent who chooses to have one child is selfish. That is true BS.

I see it as parents being responsible and fulfilling parental obligations which are college educations, retirement, being funded for the what if's as parents age.

Our daughter does not have to deal with being from a broken family and catering to the needs of step parents, step siblings, etc.

I take major offense for being told I am selfish simply because I am a responsible parent.

In my opinion... a selfish parent is one who pops babies out continually and does not provide emotional and financial support for their children. Children are not trophies, they are our young and here for us to raise responsibly and send out into the world debt free.
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EDIT #2 Momma... SELFISH would be a parent who does not take care of so called burdens ahead of time. UNSELFISH.... is a parent who sacrifices to make sure a child is well cared for, prepared for the world. You my dear, sound very insecure and jealous because your parents did not prepare you... Coming from a broken home sucks. Having parents who support you 24/7 and 100% FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY..... is UN-SELFISH. Want to YELL some more.

I love what Grandma T said (as always).

I have only one child. She is my beloved, my little buddy and we have a strong bond. She gets all of me, 100% of my attention and time. We are able to give her everything she wants. By that, I do NOT mean we spoil her. I mean that if it's the weekend and she wants to go to the zoo, off we go. If she wants to be in dance/gymnastics/soccer etc we can do that. There is no conflict of another child's schedule or needs. She is our focus and we pour all our resources into her. I love having only one and I would not change it for the world. She is confident, smart and a social butterfly. She does not suffer anything because she is an only child.

i have only one child. not by choice but because of my age. if i were younger i probably would have had more. but i love my son. he is my side kick. one thing i know for sure about only having one is there is no fighting or bickering. i can't stand listening to friend of mine that have two or more kids and the fighting between them.

Yes, yes, yes, to all the positives others have listed below. I'll add just one more though I could add lots.

You will be able to volunteer to help out all you want (or as little as you want) at your one child's activities and schools. You can really get to know teachers, administrative staff, coaches, etc. And they will know your child because they'll remember the kid whose mom always pitches in. You will be able to lead a scout troop if you like, or be a parent coach, or be a chaperone on field trips, or a room parent, etc. All because you will not have another child's schedule to juggle. I get to be a Girl Scout leader, which I love; I co-chair an arts program at school and coach my daughter and teammates in a science competition; I help out whenever I can at her dance school. And when I'm not doing those things -- I have time to do my own stuff!

Oh, one other quick thing. Sometimes on this site you find comments (from parents of more than one) about how only children "need more socialization" or how only children are more self-centered, or do more negative things to get attention. Recently there was a post and some replies were along those lines. I've seen it plenty. Please believe us parents of one, that's total hogwash. Stuff about "only children" being automatically selfish or always hogging attention are just not true and are labels stuck on them as if EVERY single only child is like that, solely because of being an only. So do not let that kind of talk sway you, if you hear it from family or friends as you make your choice. It's stereotyping.

i always like these questions. i have one 3 yr old boy - of course, completely in love w/him. i'm a single mom. i always dreamed of husband, one boy, one girl....BUT...c'est la vie, right?
i'll be 33 this year so unless i meet a GREAT guy (lmao) and get married and have a child in idk, TWO years, then my boy will remain an only child.
but i'll just mimick everyone else here b/c we do feel the same way mostly, i LOVE sleeping through the night, i love that he can go potty & pick up his toys/dishes, help w/chores, i mean, i finally have a little help around here! lol my heart desires another sweet little baby girl around BUT realistically, practically, man i don't miss sleepless nights, teething, spit up, collic (sp), etc., etc. Yes they're precious but it's HARD and i don't wanna be a single mom twice if i mess up again, lol. this is not QUITE what i envisioned but i thank God relentlessly for that sweet boy everyday.
so there ya' go mama! :)

I always have time for him. Never have to say 'not now, the baby needs X, Y or Z'. We travel as much as we did before having a child. It's easy to go out to dinner - we have always taken him to the same restaurants we went before child. As they say - one is an accessory, more is a lifestyle. He will be able to go to the best college he gets into. I have NEVER wanted another. I cannot even imagine making my son share DH and myself. The noise level in our house is manageable.

There are of course also the benefits to the earth. One child is 1/2 the carbon footprint of 2. But look a generation or two down the road and that benefit is huge.

As a mother of one, when I use the restroom it's nice to have only ONE child banging on the other side of the bathroom door needing something super important...like help locating a lost toy(I use my xray vision for this), a specific scene on a Disney DVD(I have many memorized and can shout out an answer. Scary & depressing.), or "WHERE ARE THE CHIPS!" (to which I yell back, "ASK YOUR FATHER WHO IS TEN FEET FROM THE KITCHEN!"
Now if I doubled the restroom interruptions with two children...well...I just might go insane. ;-)

There are actually more pros/pluses to having an only child. Only people who actually have one child know the real advanages. Also, I find it's all about attitude on both the part of the parent and the child. It's so important not to let other people make you feel guilty for having an only. I like the saying that I found on an "only" website, "Only doesn't mean lonely." We have a boy. He's now 13 years old and a freshman in high school. (9th grade) Here's the advantages I have found through experience:
1. Hubby and I can devote all our time and energy into our child. Our child doesn't have to "share" us so if he wants to talk to us alone, he can. There's no reason we can't look over his homework or add a little of our own. We can even teach him new things without any interference.
2. The house is very peaceful, which is also important for a child. Sometimes a child needs a quiet house for concentrating on heavy duty homework or to de-stress. Kids get stressed out too.
3. It's financially cheaper. We only have to buy one uniform and only have to pay tuition for one child. We only have to buy toys for one child. We will have just one college burden rather than multiple.
4. He can invite friends over to play with and have peace and quite after they leave, so it's easier to wind down for bed. It's like having the best of both worlds.
5. We get to play with him and his toys! :) Great when you've only got 2 controls for video games.
6. He loves to help us around the house. Sure you can do that with more than one kid, but you don't have kids fighting over chores.
7. No one to argue with. Children have enough battles at school, so it's really nice for our son to be able to come home to have a break from it.
8. Only children tend to be more mature. (Yes, I know people try to tell you the oposite.) Think about it. When you meet an older only child, (around 8+) ever notice how polite they are and how they talk differently? People only think about only toddlers/young onlies being away from their parents for the first time and being shy or crying for their parents; which is typical of all kids their age. Shyness has a lot to do with how the child is raised. My son....Totally different. He was always extremely out going. I can still see him in the daycare center, when he was 15 months old...He took his little hands and gentily pushed me saying, "Go Mommy, it's time for you to go now." He also had an easier time identifying with older kids, which is why only children come off as being shy and not very talkative with thier peers. Only children are actually socially advanced, since most of their socializing is done with adults.

Another misconception people have is that you need to have more than one child, so you're guarenteed to have someone take care of you when you are older or the only will have help. Yeah, right. Also I feel this is a very selfish statement. There is no guarentee in life. My grandmother had 9 kids and most of them stayed near by after they grew up. Guess what? Only one child took care of Grammy and boy did she look tired out. My parents had 4 of us. Guess what? We still had to hire caretakers and visiting nurses to help out, because everyone of us work. My other grandmother had 7 kids. Guess what? She was so senile, she had to be put in a nursing home. Please, you have children because you love children and eveything about them; not to have them to take care of you.

I have 3 so I know I'm butting in here. I think there are pros and cons to both - I have several friends with one child and they're all great kids. I always knew I wanted 3 or 4 so that's what worked for us. I think it depends on your family. The idea that they'd be lonely I think is bs because they can have friends - no reason to be lonely.
Anyways...
pros to having only one would be:
1. Financially it is better
2. You can afford to spend more on the one child.
3. Time wise it is better when it comes to activities and "extras".
4. You can bond differently without "the kids ganging up on the parents"
5. Never having multiple issues with kids - it's only one!

I have one and absolutely love her to 50 million pieces. I also know that due to my age and our financial situation that she will probably be our only one.

It's nice to think siblings will be friends and get along.
The problem with that line of thinking is sometimes siblings are incompatible and they are just stuck with each other till they grow up and move out.
You just never know what you are going to get.
Growing up with my sister was torture.
We fought like cats and dogs and to this day we can't get along.
I could never inflict a sibling on my son - I love him too much to put him through what I went through.
My husband is an only child and he loved it.
I wish I were and only child, and our son is so glad we've never had to split our attention with another kid.
Additional:
The 'being an only child is awful as an adult' argument holds no water.
There are no guarantees in this life.
My Mom's cousin is one of 5 siblings that survived to adulthood (there were 3 others who died before the age of 2 - this was the 1930's) - the cousin is 78 yrs old.
The cousin is the only one left.
She never married.
All her brothers and sisters are passed away.
Her parents are long gone.
Nephews live across the country.
It made no difference that she came from a large family.

Well, we can affoard to put him in activities - should we have two that would not be an option. I think he has an opportunity to learn who he is as a person and does very well playing independantly and learning to lean on himself. I think solo kids get to have a more focused attention from parents/adults so they need it less than those with siblings because it is always quality. Those are some things I have noticed - I am sure there are others - just have not read the other answers yet!.

All I have to do is walk through a store and see a mom looking completely frazzled with trying to deal with her kids. That always makes me feel happy to have one. I always say I can't remember ever seeing a mom with multiple children peacefully moseying her way through a store. (Not saying anything about the parenting, but that it seems incredibly hard to get all children doing what you want at the same time.) I don't have to worry about our schedule getting too crazy, if I can afford things, I know what he enjoys and don't worry about if the sibling will like it, no jealousy and sibling rivalry. We know we will get enough sleep. There is no bickering. We can go where we want when we want. There are pros and cons to any size family, but for me one child is enough.

I have one (4 yr old boy). I would like another, but I am not certain that will happen.

As I've struggled with the "I'm happy with one" vs "I want two.", I have listed the following as my PROS for having just one: no more diapers, no more waking 4 times in the middle of the night to nurse, no more keeping toys for "the next kid" - you can get rid of it all when they outgrow it! As others have said - if your kiddo wants to do soccer, then let's do soccer - no little bro/sis keeping you at home or preventing you from having a good time. Finally he's old enough that we can stay up till midnight at a friend's 4th of July party with our kiddo in tow. He'll sleep on the way home and then be fine the next day. With an infant - don't think so!

Bravo, TF.
We have an only, by choice. And by circumstance. Last year at this time, I didn't even think I'd still be married because of so many marital conflicts. So many people bring another baby into a relationship thinking it will 'fix' things. Uh-uh.

Our daughter is is more amazing than I ever thought I would have. And difficult at times, too! But, we get to do A LOT more with her with her being our ONE. Yes, she asks for a brother/sister, but that's not happening (unless the urologist failed on the vascetomy!) When she acts spoiled, I totally call her out on it. Mostly, though, she knows she's lucky because she will go through her old toys and clothes and know that other people need them more than her. Spoiled is parenting, not the # of siblings. When we do 'spoil' her (like pretty cool vacations), she's a great traveler and doesn't take it for granted...at least, not for an almost 6 year old...

I have a sister. But I feel like I don't. She is a complete mess on all sorts of levels and I won't let her mess my life up like she has to her own son and my mom. My MIL and her sister will barely be in the same room with each other. Siblings don't mean companionship.

Have another only if YOU feel it's right. And, you'll know.

I think not having to split my time between kids is great. My son has a half-sister and occassionally I keep her. When I do this it's so much more draining because while they play with each other, they both want their own seperate set of attention from me. She wants me to color with her, he wants me to build blocks, I have to make dinner. It's a lot of me being spread around. When it is just me and my son I only have to focus on him and his needs.

I have a 10 year-old daughter. I raised her two half-siblings and she was born when they were 20 and 17. I always wanted one child. Two seemed like three times the work, to me. We had a parenting schedule with the two where we had one of them alone one night a week. Those nights were so relaxed and easy compared to having them both.

The other reasons for having just one were my age (41 at the time), and finances. We were paying for college and daycare at the same time. Later, I don't think I could have gone back to school like I'm doing now with more children, because of both money and time.

For a lot of other reasons, I can't imagine it different than just the two of us together. We have a close and special relationship that I don't remember having with my mother (four siblings born within 5 years). Sometimes she's wished for siblings, but she does have nieces and a nephew (age 7, 5, and 2) that fill the bill to some degree.

I have one child who is now 10. With just one we don't end up comparing him to anyone else. We are able to focus more on his medical conditions, etc. We don't need a minivan or a larger house. And my husband and I can take turns chasing after him to give each other a break.
I am happy with one, but sometimes it makes me a little wistful when I see a family with a row of kids in perfectly graduating sizes.

I had one for a long time. I have 2 now, but they are 8 years apart. The plus is that you don't have to put up with arguing of course, you get to focus on that child more, give them undivided attention and just enjoy each stage. At least I felt that way. It's easier to go out, run errands, much easier to deal with one meltdown than two. More patience, energy, more time to get things done.

I feel like I got the best of both worlds because both of my kids have cousins close in age who they are very close with and they get to see each other frequently. So they have their fun time, arguments, wild crazy behavior all together and then it's nice to just go home and not have to deal with that anymore.

I am one of 4 and my husband is an only. We discussed the pros and cons at length before starting a family. My husband has wonderful memories of being an only. I asked him if he ever got lonely and he said no (without hesitation). He had a really good friend friend he hung out with all the time. He said his parents were a little over-bearing at times because they had nobody else to focus on (like his mother would proof-read all of his papers in high school--and he was a super smart kiddo--West Point grad). Anyways, I really wanted more than one and he was okay with that. Now that we have 3 boys (6, 4, and 1) he says he wonders all the time what it would have been like to have a brother (or sibling). And, now that he's 35, he wonders what it would be like to pick up the phone and call his brother...

I only have one (she just turned 2). I absolutely want another child! I grew up in a huge family, so only having one kid seems strange to me. (not bad, just not my ideal. lol.) I am loving the fact that she is an only child at the moment though! I am able to lavish all my attention on her. I can afford to buy her better clothes, toys, etc. because I only have to shop for one. I only have one bath to worry about, one tuck-in, one meal to make sure gets eaten. I don't have to worry about entertaining one kid if another gets sick. There are sooo many pros to only having one...

BUT... I want another anyway... eventually. I'm mostly waiting for my DD to be completely out of diapers, and old enough to entertain herself a bit more. I don't think I have the energy to run after TWO toddlers, and my hat comes of to the mommas who do! ;)