Joint Custody Case and Getting Married

A., you MUST ask these questions of your attorney -- get one if you don't have one.

Getting married means bringing a new and different adult male into your children's lives. If you have issues with your ex, he absolutely could make your boyfriend/fiance/husband an issue, especially if you are not open and above board about the existence of this man who will be living with your children at some points.

Please get an attorney's answer. Don't depend on us, here on an online forum. We are not lawyers and you need to be certain of your legal rights and your responsibilities too. You also need to think out with your attorney whether your ex can or would use your engagement or marriage against you in any way. And the financial impact of getting married is something you surely must report, just as you have to tell the IRS and the state.

My DH did not specifically introduce me to his ex, though we met in passing due to the pickups/drop offs/school events. (Similarly, she's never gone out of her way to introduce a boyfriend to DH, even the guy she moved in with.) I do think letting the other party know who your children are living with is a good idea, but they don't need to sit down for beers.

DH did notify her that we were getting married, though we kept the actual date to ourselves, knowing she'd try to mess up our honeymoon (my SIL kept the kids so we could leave on time).

I'd consult an attorney re: CS.

No one has to be notified.

I agree with Leigh R. ask your attorney. Even if you do get married, since there is joint custody, don't you believe your kids will talk about your spouse with their father?

Do you think that over time that same parent won't bring you into court about matters dealing with the child or children, custody and support?

Also since you are getting married it would be in the best interest of your child if all adults play nicely. You don't have to be great friends but you do need to have a formal introduction and some kind of limited communication.

I'm married with 1 step son and 1 biological son. My husband communicates with my son's father and my stepson's mother knows me as well. Are we friends, no but we are friendly enough to discuss the children like adults and resolve conflict like adults as well.

Yes, you should. I don't believe that there is any legal requirement that the two men meet, but if they will both be in your child's life then they should at least meet one another and know the other person's name. You daughter's father has a right to know who is living with his child.

Not sure, but if there is a spousal support clause in your agreement, then yes.

Of course you can get married (as long as you are legally divorced, but ask yourself about the implications of "sneaking off" and having your child's father find out about it third hand... not exactly acting in a trusthworthy manner.

Now, if your ex is a complete psycho who would try to crash your wedding and steal your child away... do it quietly and then inform him. Otherwise, behaving in an honest and transparent manner will keep your child from having to lie.

Call your lawyer. He knows best.

Your child's father and your fiance need never meet, although it would most likely be best for your child if they knew each other and were at least civil to one another.

Since marriage changes your household income, I would think that it would affect your child support.