JFF: What Hilariously Bad Gifts Have You Gotten over the Years?

My husbands Grandma is horrible too! One year for my birthday she gave me an XL pair of underwear that went up to my boobs! Thanks Lady!

She also gave me a ceramic pig with a blue floral print on it and it had BALLS! You know, as in testicals! WTH????

For my daughter's first Christmas, she got an ornament that her grandmother had engraved for her. It read, "For my angle", then had her name, which was also misspelled... badly. She has only met my daughter once when she was 3, and probably doesn't even remember her name now.

My nephew received a really bad gift from his mom one year. She also rarely sees him. She married a very wealthy, much older man, and had a few more children. A few years ago, she sent him a small, empty clear glass jar, and told him it was a "Jar of Love" and that she'd filled it with all of her love for him. So wrong on many levels. Not only was she implying that she no longer had her love for him, but it was a VERY LITTLE jar!

My "perfect" gift one year from my MIL was a box of After Eight dinner mints. They were on sale at the local grocery store 2/$5. I only got one box. It wasn't a matter of money...she gave my husband $100 and my SIL/BIL's matching p.j.'s.

It was a special, special Christmas.......

I'm loving reading all of the responses!!

This year my mom gave me a mustard yellow purse and the tag on it read "this product contains lead. The state of California has found that lead can be harmful to reproductive organs.". Thanks mom!!!

A well meaning family member gave me a huge, 20 lb, used dinosaur typewriter for high school graduation. Do they even make typewriter ribbon anymore? It was pretty hilarious.

Another time I was given a pretty sweater for Christmas by a friend. I wore it a few days later on an outing with her and a mutual friend. The mutual friend said "oh, you borrowed the sweater I gave to her? It looks good on you." I turned bright red and so did the friend that had apparently "regifted" the sweater to me. Yikes. Funny now, but I was so embarassed for the re-gifter.

This is more unintentionally cruel than a bad gift.

When i was 13 or 14, I begged my parents for a cell phone for Christmas. I asked for months. I knew it was a long shot, my parents weren't into paying for a phone other than our one land line.

My mom would wrap all the gifts in random boxes we had lying around the house. She and my dad had recently gotten emergency cell phones, so she was going to use the two phone boxes to wrap gifts.

Christmas morning, we opened our gifts. One I unwrapped was in a cell phone box!!! I was unaware she had used those boxes for other gifts, so I thought they got me a phone!! Um, wrong! The worst part was, the box was completely empty!!! My mom went on a wrapping spree, and wrapped up an empty cell phone box and put my name on it...

Worst gift ever! Hahahahhaha!!!

About 6 or 7 years ago I really really wanted to have another baby. I wouldn't leave my husband alone about it. So, for Christmas he got me a baby doll. I was so mad. Little did we BOTH know...I was already pregnant!
L.

My Aunt gives crappy gifts... on purpose. Last year my husband got a BEAUTIFUL hot pink Christmas sweater, 2 sizes too small, a do-rag, and a pocket calendar from 1998.

I got a coffee mug with an illustrated rabbit orgy on it, and a dog ornament... when you pull his leash, he lifts his leg and pees.

I love it :)

You guys are sooooooo funny! Its hard to believe we aren't listing white elephant gifts.

My godparents gave me a used food dehydrator one time. And my aunt gave me a really pretty picture frame for couples...but she superglued our pictures over the couple's picture on the insert...on the glass on the outside.

What's wrong w/a thingy for quarte collections? My mom gave me one one year...each state has its own color AND when you open it up it measures 2 ft x3 ft. Nothing says Patriotic in your home like a huge cardboard quarter keeper from Walgreens.

A few years ago my husband's grandma gave him these spiral looking shoe laces that you use in place of actual shoe laces in gym shoes. I guess you use those in place of real shoe laces so you don't have to tie your shoes? Needless to say he never actually used them. His grandma was a real sweetheart and is unfortunately no longer with us but each year that gift always manages to come up =) Oh and right after we were married my MIL gave me this hideous denim shirt that had a bunch of removable collars - one for each holiday including birthdays!

Oh boy here we go!!
Before my Uncle married my Aunt he would give us the nicest gifts but after he married the gifts were horrible. One year she gave my cousins and me these very ugly sweaters with mine being the prettiest and thats not saying much at all. Mine was light blue and white with the uglies design. One of my cousins was a rust color. Her's won the uglies award. I can't remember what my other cousins looked like.

When I was 15 I told my father that I couldn't wait to get my drivers licenses so I received this pretty gift wrapped in pretty paper with bows and inside I found a backseat drivers license. I don't know where he got that but he thought it was funny. At 15 I didn't think so.

Last, my Mother is very nosy. At Christmas she shakes and feels all of her gifts trying to figure out what they are. My father said we have to play a trick on her so we were at the store and my father bought those plenty packs of Doublemint gum. When we got home I wrapped it really nice. I didn't put it in a box just left it the way it was. From that day until Christmas she shook the gift and smelled it and declared it smelled like mint. Christmas morning that was the first gift she grabbed. Too bad we didn't have a video camera because the look on her face was priceless when she opened it. That started our tradition of giving gag gifts for Christams. What fun.

When my son was about 3, my grandma gave him a box of used girls underwear.

My mom is cheap and likes to get things on sale or from garage sales... a few years ago I mentioned I needed a blue tooth headset for my phone. She apparently found a used one. It's something that goes on your ear and it had been USED and to top it off there were dead crickets inside the package.... *sigh*

I have told her we really don't need anything material, but she can bake for us.

My husbands grandma sent me an old lady house coat one year - the kind that zip up and come down to mid calf - white with little flowers on it. We totally couldn't stop giggling. However - the next year when I was going through my closet I found it shoved in a corner and sent it off to my own grandma for Christmas - she absolutely loved it and was thrilled! A happy ending all the way around!

These are so funny. I love reading them.

Worst gift ever...a bagel slicer with bagels that were already sliced.

For my son's 3rd birthday my in-laws sent him a bag of gumballs and some plain white taper candles. WHAT??

About 5 years ago my husband's (very wealthy) uncle's family gave me & my husband's 2 college-aged cousins matching white hooded unicorn sweatshirts, each about size 3XL (the 2 cousins are both very slender.) Thanks??

That same Chirstmas my husband received a tan leather wallet with the symbol of some university (that NO ONE we know has any affiliation with).

It was kinda nice when they stopped coming to Christmas, because I'm just not that great of an actress :)

When I was a kid, we'd take my dad's undershirts, a TON of fabric puff paint, and make him these hideous (we thought cute) shirts like "World'd Greatest Dad," "Over the Hill," etc. He was such a good sport and wore them out to dinner with great pride and still has them today. So, although they were really ugly, they meant a lot to him.

ETA: Oh Lisa C, PLEASE tell me you either still have that dress/shoes or took a pic!

My grandma is the same way. One year she got all the guys (grown men) toy cars to race. That one turned out really funny though because they actually got on the floor and played with them.

One year she got me a sweater so ugly that my husband laughed out loud when I opened it. Last year she got us these really fluffy scarves that almost looked like there were feathers on it. They were awful. But, we love her because she tries so hard!

My friends and I did a secret Santa when we were in high school. The guy that picked my name knew that I love flamingos and said he had found the perfect gift! As I opened the box, I saw a statue of a white stork (not a pink flamingo). While I said thank you, I must have had a funny look on my face because the rest of our friends started laughing, before they even saw shat was in the box. When I held up the stork, people were falling out of their chairs laughing and the poor gift giver did not get it. He thought that the bird statue was a flamingo because it was standing on one foot. He had to be told that it was a stork not a flaming. The statue is now in my living room on top of a bookshelf, and when I happen to notice it, it makes me smile!

From my grandma, all the tea bags from mixed boxes that she didnt like and a bag of marbles, lol. She also sends my 2 yr old dd expensive jewelery, which is nice but a little strange. From my MIL the list is much longer.... Ive gotten lots of scented bath products (Im allergic), an area rug that didnt fit the area and looked exactly like the awful carpet we had just paid a lot of $ to replace, but I think the kicker from her was- whenever she is around my dd she talks to her in the most annoying high pitched voice, you can tell even my daughter doesnt like it, she got her one of those recordable books that she had recorded the whole thing in that voice, it was terrible! Luckily my dd was and is scared of it so we dont have to listen to it very often.

My hubbys step-grandma gave one of her adult grand-daughters..late 20-ish at the time and a teeny petitie maybe 5 feet tall about a size 0 itty bitty thing...she gave her and old lady style polyester nightgown and housecoat type robe...in a size 3X. We ahd thought she was regifting as she was heavy at the time, but not that big. But questions were asked by her to Christy about her like of the color and such that had us firmly believing she shopped for and bought this on purpose!

She also did "variety pack" gifts for all of us for years. Opened packs of micro popcorn, USED mini bars of soap. Jars of nuts that expired several years before. My hubbys even had a Kmart pack of plus size womens undies. Just totally random "I cleaned out my cabinets" sort of stuff. My MIL (her oldest daughter) finally talked to her about and she didn't even remember most of it! SCARY. She is on anti-depressants now the last few years and being watched for indications of Alzheimers.

Now with her very limited budget, and cuz she insists on buying SOMETHING, my MIL take her shopping and she either gets gift cards or small simple gifts for just the great grandkids. She was/is a bit of an artist and crafter, so my 17 year old daughter LOVES getting a special personal gift from her. She still gets the crazy variety packs, but they always come from her own old stash of art/craft supplies (very fancy papers, paintbrushes and tools that are 30-40 yrars old but still what they use in the classrooms at my daughters art school!) along with a gift card to Michaels or an Art store around her called Dick Blick.

Its always interesting when you get to a package from her!

A few years back...my husbands real mom gave him a navy blue sweatshirt, w/ Tigger on the front that said "worlds best son." In a size medium...he wears an extra large and also, has 2 brothers! We STILL laugh about his Tigger sweatshirt...wish I had saved it! :)

I would LOVE a grocery sack full of pecans! They charge $25 for a gallon bag of shelled pecans at the farmer's market. I actually got that for my brother last year. When I was pregnant, I went to his house and ate almost the whole bag of pecans. So that's what I gave him back for Christmas.
Anywho- I got cookies with dog hair all over them one Christmas from my SIL. Nice.

Last year I got a gorgeous gift box. I opened it up to find duct tape. Nice!

The frist Christmas my husband and I spent together we got engaged. He thought the ring counted as my Christmas gift, until a few people told him otherwise :). So he had to run out last minute to get me something...he ended up getting me two sweaters. However, they were ones his mom would have worn. Poor guy. He does much better now!

lol these are funny for sure. I see it wasn't just my grandma who in older years couldn't get out to shop so she would find things around her apartment to give us. My husband was shocked when he got Shower to Shower powder for his birthday one year. I laughed and teased him that perhaps she thinks he needs more showers, but did explain that she probably didn't have anything for men so that is why she picked that powder. It didn't stop my husband from giving me the worst present EVER. We were remodeling "his" bathroom and while it was work in progress he had to use "my" bathroom. For my birthday I got a toilet seat. He decided I needed a new one because mine wasn't to his liking. He claimed it was thoughtful because it was padded! I told him that was a shitty gift! It didn't go with my bathroom so it ended up in his bathroom anyway.

Pine scented shampoo....seriously....was I supposed to take a hint? LOL!

We got an old wall clock from the 70s as a wedding gift (in 1997). It came from my husband's great uncle, who was a huge smoker. The thing reeked so bad and was so out of style that it went to Goodwill. :)

one time my stepdad's parents sent me this HUGE golf shirt. I was 11 . .. .
We think it was supposed to be my step aunt Cathy's since she was a big girl then. I ended up using it as a sleep shirt.
And for our wedding someone gave us a fame that had been given to them at their wedding, regifted to us , with the original gift note in the box with it to the original owners, I think I'll re-gift it again , keep the tradition going. :-)

My aunt once sent me and my cousin (born one day before me) purses made from coconuts!

It was a coconut, cut in half (and cleaned), with a zipper around the middle and a long string attached...

Oh - someone else's reminded me... for our first Christmas as a married couple, my husband bought me a ... RIFLE!! Now, he is an avid hunter and we definitely wanted to try hunting together.

However, I **specficially** told him NOT to get me a gun for Christmas. He was talking and talking and talking about it... I knew that's what he had planned. Lo and behold - about a week PRIOR to Christmas, he just couldn't contain himself any longer and brought out my Christmas gift - a rifle... woo hoo... how romantic and thoughtful...

My MIL would wrap up toiletries like deodorant or shaving cream and give them to my husband for Christmas when he was home from college on break.
My own mom would sometimes wrap up magazines. I think all these things are much better suited for the stocking than for real presents under the tree, but that's just me.

Ex MIL gave me a book on how to be a "Submissive Wife"

EX MIL made dump cake with walnuts. (I am deathly allergic to walnuts)

EX got me a lighted mirror to "pluck my brows"

One Christmas my grandmother gave my husband (who at the time I had only been dating for about 3 months) a bag of pine cones. To make it even worse, these were pine cones she had just collected from her yard, not the cinnamon smelling decorative ones. So there were also bits of leaves, grass, dirt, and other debris in the bag. And I guess in an attempt to fancy them up a bit, she spray painted some of them gold. This bag is now the family white elephant gift and it gets regifted to someone in the family every year.

2 Christmases ago my FIL and step-MIL gave me a used life jacket with some random lady's names writing in sharpie on the lapel of it. And they gave my husband a used spotlight whose cord was fraying and the light didn't actually work. That same year they gave my daughter a brand new Little Tikes tree swing. The problem is, we don't have a tree in our yard. The in-laws know that, and even mentioned it and said, "don't know where you will put that, but it was on sale, so here you go."

We look forward to getting a gift from them every year, because it always makes us laugh. My husband says he can't wait to get old so he can start giving weird and kooky gift too.

But the best has to be a gift that my coworker received one year. (We are 2nd grade teachers.) It was a little purple vibrator. To say the mom was embarrassed is an understatement. Apparently the child wanted to find something to give the teacher, and found that in mommy's drawer.

Our first Christmas together...(we lived in different states though)...keep in mind I am not a girlie girl, I am sports fanatic and just plain not into frilly stuff. (No offense to those who are)

I open my gift and he bought me a "Candle waterfall" type thing. I never said a bad word about it, put it right up on the shelf (all hooked up and working). He was so proud of himself. Still doesn't know that I absolutely couldn't stand the thing. And yes, it is still around!

Other than that my great grandmother (bless her) never failed she would buy us all those silly Christmas sweaters.

However, I think the item that sticks out in my mind is that one person in our family, for our wedding bought us a picture clock...then for Christmas one year that same person bought it for me again! Thank goodness it's super cool!

my husband (poor guy) doesn't do gifts well. i used to think he is intentionally neglecting me (before happy pills), and good lord where do i start, ok cashmere turtleneck while we were living in south florida.
then one christmas a huge huge huge box in the middle of the room. has my name on it. oh yay.i open it...another box...open it...another box....open it....another box...about 15 boxes, then a tiny box, open up a gold bracelet that weighs a ton. problem? i don't wear jewelry and i was 28 years old at this time not 82. i still have it. never worn it. i think when i turn 82 i will rock that think. i just have to start lifting weights so that i am all muscly to wear that thing :)

My husband got black ninja workout pants from his dad. And one time my dad gave him an LA Raiders jacket. He's a HUGE Steelers fan.

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One time a co worker gave my mom a hand mirror that had cat pee on it. Apparently the woman stored it under her bed before re-gifting it to my mom.

A few years ago, a co-worker gave me a set of perfumes from Victoria's Secret. Lovely gift and very thoughtful! However...each little thing of perfume was at least half gone...one was practically empty!! I laughed hysterically (not in front of her, of course)!!

My Stepmother is notorious for horrible gifts. I once received gold seashell bookends (which I had to take home on an airplane). My BIL got a seahorse nightlight. Not that I'm being ungrateful, but there was just zero thought or even sense behind these gifts! I'd rather not receive anything!

One year I had no present under the tree at my husband's family's Christmas gathering. My FIL proudly explained to me that he had picked up my husband's shoes from the repair shop, which cost him $20, and that was my gift. Even worse, when I said later on to my SIL that it was an odd gift, she jumped all over me and said she wished her dad would spend $20 on her gift. (He had given her a nice present that had clearly cost much more than $20.)

Just FYI, he is now my ex-husband. He and his entire family were kind of nuts, and they just viewed the entire world in a very different way. :)

It could be worse, though. My best friend from high school never gets a Christmas present from her MIL, but the MIL buys a present for my friend's dog. Every single year.

My grandma (Bless her heart!) got my 7 yo, who reads at a 5th grade level, a 5 page, 2x2in, cardboard book that had one three or four word sentence on each page.

Homemade rancid cookies. Three years in a row! Yum! :)